| **Campaign — DES105 r4 (page r9)** | 93f482 | 09:30 | Diffed against 0cafb9: the changed return rewritten to X37 (the stairs; the harvest as a priced experiment; the berth exit's issue); the later return's branch accounting; §3.4's cadence and terminals |

| **The Exchange r4** | 17dca3 | 09:18 | Diffed against 4d6703: six issued cells; links and priority at the dock; the field bundle; the distances |

| **PMR009** | 262856 | 09:17 | §1 the vision; §2 X37; §3 the Siphon and issue legality; §4 the support-assembly contest; §5 the Exchange |

| Tasks; Team; Brief PMU008 | 888ac1; 0bff49; 6d869e | 09:25; 09:24 | This role's row; the chat-room instruction; the Visionary's mandate |

| Clarity — the Reader's first-read account | 5e56f8 | 09:11 | Cited for what a reader could and could not retell |

| External Critique — X37 | 2de127 | 09:03 | The finding PMR009 accepted narrowly |

| Combat r10; Enemies r11; World r27; Colony r7; Equipment; Build Paths; Utility Modules | a33732; 2c9af4; 7b8ad1; c56634; 122d38; f6f8ef; 4ffa18 | 08:50–09:22 | Headers and the passages PMR009 names; not re-reviewed |

- **Where:** the vision's first sentence: "Survive the Flood long enough to understand the machinery that moves it." The loop's second step: "enter under crowd pressure." The feeling: "Dread becomes practical confidence, then responsibility. The signature moment is: 'I understand why this place is dangerous. I can change it. What will that change cost somewhere else?'" The return: the first delivery is delayed before the trip; "you clear the enemy blocking the rail" — one body, before any surge, ten hits, no hit taken (Campaign r9); "the warning lamp flashes and no crowd arrives"; "you take a salvage bundle down the dry stairs, crank the gates open and go home before the next crowd."

- **Why it fails:** the vision's own loop has crowd pressure as its second step and dread as the feeling's first word, and the one expedition it offers the owner has neither: nothing arrives, nothing chases, nothing is survived. That is by design — it is the return that understanding makes easy, and the theme now says such a return is a payoff — but a vision that shows only the payoff shows an exploration game with a machine puzzle, not a survivorlike. The owner's requirement is a survivorlike in which the Flood is massed enemies; the Reader, reading the vision alone, could only *infer* that the Flood is the enemy crowd; a return in which no crowd appears will not correct that inference for the owner either. The signature moment's first clause, "I understand why this place is dangerous," is asserted in the return ("Earlier, you learned…") and never shown; its third, "What will that change cost somewhere else?", appears as "That keeps the lower gates unpowered, but you know their hand crank" — a cost to the surveyor's convenience, not a cost somewhere else. The cost somewhere else exists in the Campaign's scene (the next surge climbs toward the summit, which is where the head-works approach starts; the gates dark for every later visit) and is not in the vision's paragraph.

- **Consequence:** the owner rejected a deck that did not communicate one game; this is the page meant to replace it, and its one expedition omits half the game the owner asked for.

- **Category:** contradiction between the vision's stated loop and its own illustration (the vision's test applied to the vision).

- **Minimal change:** precede the return with the first visit to the same place, in the same plain language and the same length — the crowd following the lit tram up the incline twenty metres behind, the heavy stopping the tram with the crowd closing, three hits and the kit, the lamp put out so the crowd spreads where it stands, the crank home past a spread yard at one hit (all on Campaign r9 §3.2, first visit) — so that the two paragraphs together are dread, then confidence, then responsibility; and end the return with the cost somewhere else, in one sentence: the next crowd climbs to the summit, which is the road the surveyor will need for the head-works, and the depot gates stay dark for every later visit.

- **Why it fails:** the vision is right that salvage-for-power is a meaningful sacrifice in principle, and the lead has said where it is one (the head-works, where no surge will supply charge). In the return the vision chose to illustrate it, the sacrifice buys thirty seconds of margin on a crossing the heavy's own fuel already covers, for a player who has already read the cadence elsewhere. Named by the vision's test: the choice is "bundle or margin", the visible consequence is "nothing, unless the crank is blocked", and the part of the experience it serves is not one the return needs. The illustration undersells the vision's best equipment idea by showing it where it does no work.

- **Category:** the vision's test applied to its example; not a rule defect (the arithmetic is the lead's and PM's, already closed).

- **Minimal change:** either drop the sentence from the return, or say what it is for — the player who has not read the drums and wants the cadence confirmed before the head-works — and show the sacrifice doing work in the pass the vision has promised next ("test the equipment catalogue against distinct interventions").

- **Two plain names for two beacons.** The return says "the warning lamp flashes" for the yard beacon's dispatch flash and "a decoy lamp" for the portable beacon. They are translations, not disguises, and they are better words for the owner than the pages' — but the pages use "beacon" for both, and the vision's own Mystery row says to keep "genuinely different causes… distinguishable." One clause tying each plain name to the page's word, once, keeps the owner and the team reading the same objects.

- **"Keeping a refuge alive" versus "the refuge's consequences are mostly conveyed by boards."** The vision's first sentence makes the refuge the object of the game; its own current pass says caring for it "needs a concrete treatment" and PMR009 assigns that next (follow the intervention home). Recorded, not raised: the Visionary has named it first.

**PMR009's qualifications of r3, owned.** (1) r3 called the changed return's three builds "real choices" on what each cost and did not ask what the featured coil plan bought for its stated objective; X37 asked, and the answer was nothing — a plan that fights for charge and discards it at the dock. (2) r3 accepted the berth alternative's rack (beacon, battery, kit) against the six-cell cap and did not check the ordinary-issue rule with the assembly on the berth — one known module plus the default battery — which Colony and Equipment did; two modules were issued. Both are corrected at r9 and both are this role's misses.

| Item | At 93f482 / 17dca3 | Status |

| --- | --- | --- |

| X37 — the changed return | "Prepared, the simple route. The ordinary workshop's issue, a known Kit and the empty battery… Nothing about that objective needs charge, and the External Critic was right that a plan which fights for charge it then discards buys nothing here"; 0:00 the stairs past the heavy; 1:30 the Exchange's door; 4:30 "The surveyor throws the panel to Gates instead: the yard beacon lights, the crowd retargets to it… one hit"; 5:20 extraction, "one bundle, the Siphon, an empty battery, one hit taken" | **Closed.** The route re-tallied: the battery empty throughout; one hit; extraction before 8:00 ✓. The harvest is "the experiment, optional and priced" with its own ledger (35 / 20 / 10 / 15 fade / 10 dock ✓) and the honest sentence "the page does not pretend it advances the objective" |

| PMR009 §3 — the berth exit's issue | "ordinary issue is one known module and the empty battery: the portable beacon and the battery, `. . L B / . . . .`, no Kit unless the district offers one in the field, which this one does not" | **Closed** |

| PMR009 §3 — the stay's branches | "9:40 extracted: the bundle banked, or nothing if converted; the beacon still lit, thirty-five seconds burned of fifty or eighty, the rest lost with it" | **Closed** |

| r3's two §3.4 cells | "The Exchange's expedition is ten minutes with two dispatches, at 3:00 and 7:00, as the Exchange page's scene is built"; the terminals "both at the head end, because the reel reaches six metres and the hall's two ends are the length of the floor apart: a live terminal where the gallery's head run drops to the floor beside the head-end beacon, and a dead terminal on the bank's own lamp line six metres along the north wall" | **Closed** |

| REV104-17's four cells | Exchange r4: the cacher `C C B B / L I . .`, "6 issued, 2 free"; "At the dock, which is this district's only shelter, the player sets B1 → coil, B2 → beacon, and pickup priority to B2 first"; no bundle issued, two cells free for the field; the plant "about twenty-five metres from b1"; "the player is sixty metres north" | **Three closed; the distances cell half.** The plant is now twenty-five metres from the crowd's beacon and "the two Carriers in the crowd take the planted battery" — a Carrier's acquisition range is twelve metres (contract §3; Carrier r3), so either the plant stands within twelve of the crowd's edge or the Carriers do not take it; and 7:00's "flashes beside them" still needs the bank–landing distance against ten metres of pursuit. Two numbers |

| The later return's carrying decision named (r3) | r9's "What the three visits are": "its choices are whether to trust what the player already knows and go home early with cargo, or stay for certainty" — the standing state is the visit's objective, not yet named as its decision | Open, one sentence; overtaken in importance by REV106-1, which is about the same scene |

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