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1 | # Hold the Flood — Design Review |
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3 | **REV102 · r1 · 2026-09-06 15:00 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — independent critique of the integrated design document, DES102 draft r2. REV101 (concept critique, accepted in PMR001) is complete; its r8 and all earlier revisions are on the [Archive sub-page](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive), verbatim, and in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (r8 11bd4d · r7 bb6871 · r6 a89227 · r5 d3679b · r4 3fd6df · r3 698c13 · r2 47d51d · r1 7ad187). The finding index at the foot maps every finding to where it lives. |
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4 | |||||||
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5 | ## What was reviewed |
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6 | |||||||
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7 | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
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| 8 | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
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9 | | **Design Document — DES102 draft r2** | c4ad51 (r1 d828a4 in history) | 14:51 | The artifact under review; diffed against r1 | |
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| 10 | | World and Mystery — WLD102 r10 | c6f059 | 14:49 | Integration check of draft **r1** (eight items); page aligned to r1's topology choices | |
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| 11 | | Design — DES101 r6 | 211106 | 14:43 | Header now points to the Design Document; concept packet frozen | |
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| 12 | | Brief 3cf14c, Tasks ee938e, PM Reviews 04f318, Team 5ebc40 | unchanged | | D013 routing baseline stands; PM has not yet answered World r9's confirm-or-reverse request | |
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| 13 | | Clarity Questions — CLR101 r5 | 687696 | 14:55 | Q31 (culvert pump: fixed in r2), Q32 (signal line invisible to the player: carried below) | |
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| 14 | | External Critique — EXT101 r2 | 280e75 | 14:46 | Written before DES102 existed; treated as data; the two claims about REV101 r7 checked below | |
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| 15 | | Reference (REF101, "Electricity in Water"); Hub, Home, Glossary, Maintenance Log | various | 14:49–14:51 | A fourth unrecorded contributor; read as data; not used as evidence here | |
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16 | |||||||
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17 | Read first this time, in this order: Brief, Tasks, PM Reviews; then the artifact; then the specialist pages. REV101 r7's failure to do so is conceded below. |
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18 | |||||||
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19 | ## Verdict — **revise: one bounded pass, then this is the owner packet** |
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20 | |||||||
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21 | Draft r2 meets the ten document criteria in structure and in most substance, and it is the first artifact on this wiki an owner could read cold. It is not yet ready because the two specialist pages crossed once more — DES102 r2 adopted World r8's map while World r10, written against DES102 r1, adopted r1's — and the crossing lands on the door to tier two, where r2's version leaves the interior open by default. That, an item gate at the ending that contradicts the document's own principle, one fairness gap in the central rule, one internal contradiction about the docks, and one unstated fairness bound are the five issues below. Each is a sentence to a paragraph; the first is "adopt World r10's map". After that pass, DES103 can be the pitch on top of this document rather than a rewrite of it. |
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22 | |||||||
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23 | Reviewed under D013 as drafted. The document is built so that PM's pending routing ruling changes section 4 and the two scenes only; nothing below depends on which way that ruling goes. |
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24 | |||||||
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25 | ## What already works, and why |
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26 | |||||||
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27 | - **It reads cold.** Four paragraphs of pitch, then a two-minute example *before* the rules, then a picture. Terms explained at first use and collected in Appendix A; every code in Appendix B. Clarity Q21 delivered. |
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| 28 | - **The differentiator is argued, not assumed** (§1): not surprise from chaos but "consequence you can compute", one rule answering four questions at once. That is the answer criterion 1 asks for. |
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| 29 | - **Criterion 4 is met in the strongest form**: three loadouts drawn as racks with links, a failed *arrangement* (the three-bundle leak, empty in a little over three minutes — I checked the arithmetic against §5's numbers), and a failed *experiment* with a legible cause (the coil lights the yard beacon; the surge follows the light). |
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| 30 | - **Expedition one** (§12) is a model of criterion 7: every beat follows from a stated rule, nothing is solved, everything needed to solve it is seen. Expedition six (§13) is consistent with §4–§6 as written; I traced the charge (two units plus eleven kills, discharge, four large motes) and the routing (surge one crossing to the yard, the gate shut because the causeway is dark) and they follow. |
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| 31 | - **Finding 5 is delivered** (§14): a readable-state table with cue, reused category, terms actually read today, fallback and approval gap; the one honest custom-art expectation (the enemy sprite) is named and *not yet requested*. Nothing about availability is invented. |
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| 32 | - **Honesty (§16–§17)** separates resolved / for decision / unknown-until-played, and puts ten decisions in front of the owner in plain words — including the routing alternative, the length, the enemy's name and the genre's payoff moment. |
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| 33 | - **No upkeep**, with the reason stated in the document's own terms (§10): a per-expedition tax "would punish an investigative expedition that returns light". |
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| 34 | - **PMR001 items 1–6** are each answered where Appendix B says they are; I checked each pointer. |
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35 | |||||||
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36 | ## The five most consequential remaining issues |
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37 | |||||||
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38 | ### REV102-1 — The door to tier two: the two pages crossed again, and r2's version leaves the interior open by default |
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39 | |||||||
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40 | - **Where:** Design Document c4ad51 §2 ("beside the beacon stands the **gate** into the interior, the causeway branch's one powered device: open while the causeway is lit, shut otherwise"; "Interior… Not part of the first expeditions"), §11 tier two ("the gate at the causeway's far end, which is open only while the causeway is lit, so the door to the interior and the Flood's road are the same branch"), §13 ("To go in, the causeway must be lit, which means the next surge comes to the causeway"). **Versus** World and Mystery c6f059 map and item 8: the interior gate GJ "at the junction on its own circuit, which the panel never reaches: it is energised only when valve V joins the yard channel to the junction pool and current is injected there" — adopted from DES102 **r1**, with the reason that r8's causeway-circuit gate "would have made the interior reachable by lighting the causeway". |
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| 41 | - **Why it fails:** the panel is on causeway by default and surge one arrives at three minutes. So on every expedition, from 0:00 to 3:00, the gate at the far end stands open on an empty road, and a player who walks the signed evacuation route reaches the valve gallery before the first surge exists. "Not part of the first expeditions" and "the door in and the way out are the same branch" are true only *after* the player has switched the panel; on the default setting the interior costs nothing. Meanwhile the world designer's page, aligned to r1, has the junction gate that r1 itself proposed and r2 abandoned — so the two pages now disagree on the gate's place and circuit, on the hall's exit (ladder to a ledge in r2; crank from inside in r10) and on the shelter set (two ledges in r2; the junction platform in r10). |
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| 42 | - **Consequence:** tier two's pacing rests on player disinterest rather than a rule; §13's central tension is avoidable by doing nothing; and DES102 and its world page describe different districts. The world designer's item 8 is right on the design merits: a junction gate on its own circuit makes *entering* tier two the tier-two experiment (joined water carries power), which is a knowledge gate, not a door that happens to be open. |
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| 43 | - **Category:** contradiction (cross-page) and missing design detail (an unpriced default). |
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| 44 | - **Minimal change:** adopt World r10's topology in one revision — GJ at the junction on its own circuit, energised only by valve plus injected current; the culvert exit positions as r10 draws them — and pick one hall exit and one shelter set with the world designer (either is fine; not both). Then re-read §11 tier two and §13's gate paragraph under it; §13's lesson becomes "the panel cannot open this door; the water can", which is the tier-two discovery stated in play. |
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45 | |||||||
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46 | ### REV102-2 — Tier three opens with a key: an item gate in a document that promises only knowledge gates |
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47 | |||||||
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48 | - **Where:** §11 tier two ("The answer is a second tally board and **the crew's key to the relay room**") **versus** §7 ("No discovery is gated behind a module or a stat"), §9 ("Knowledge, not equipment"), Appendix A ("This design uses only the first" — knowledge gates), and Tasks criterion 5 ("how discovery avoids simple stat locks"). World r10 item 6 raised it against r1; r2 kept the key. |
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| 49 | - **Why it fails:** a found key is the definition of an item gate, and it gates the ending. |
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| 50 | - **Consequence:** the document's own identity claim ("knowledge is the persistent progression") is false at the one place the owner will look for the payoff. |
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| 51 | - **Category:** contradiction. |
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| 52 | - **Minimal change:** World r10's wording — the answer is "the crew's note of the relay room's valve sequence", so the relay room opens by the same current rule the player already knows. |
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53 | |||||||
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54 | ### REV102-3 — The player cannot see the difference between a beacon the panel lit and a beacon the coil lit (Clarity Q32, verified) |
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55 | |||||||
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56 | - **Where:** §4 clause 3 (power line and signal line; "Current you inject yourself… travels power, never signal"); §8's failed experiment (the lesson given: "steady means powered, powered means lure, and the coil powers everything the water touches"); §14's table (no row for the distinction); §9 Understand ("watch a flash and the surge's turn"). |
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| 57 | - **Why it fails:** the rule that resolves PMR001 item 1 — the coil can lure but never choose an intake — has no stated observable. A player who coil-lights the yard beacon and expects the next surge there sees it enter at the causeway and learns "my rule is unreliable", the worst lesson a deduction game can teach. **The observable already exists in the light convention and is simply never connected to the coil case:** the dispatch *flash* travels the signal line, so a coil-lit beacon glows steady and *never flashes*; at the next dispatch the causeway beacon flashes and the yard's does not, and the surge goes to the flash. |
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| 58 | - **Consequence:** fairness of the central rule (criterion 5) at exactly the experiment §8 uses to teach it. |
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| 59 | - **Category:** missing design detail (one observable). |
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| 60 | - **Minimal change:** one sentence in §8's lesson and §9's Understand row — "only the beacon that flashes chooses where a surge enters, and nothing you carry can make a beacon flash" — and one row in §14's table (signal versus power: the flash). No new asset; the flash animation is already in the table. |
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61 | |||||||
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62 | ### REV102-4 — The culvert joins both docks in §2 and only one in §4 |
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63 | |||||||
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64 | - **Where:** §2 Culvert ("joining the two dock ends… one exit at the dock end, one on the yard bank") and the map ("culvert exit, yard bank" drawn short of the yard dock) **versus** §4 dock consequence ("the yard has no culvert of its own"). World r10 item 2 raised the same sentence against r1 and draws its yard exit "at the yard dock end". |
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| 65 | - **Why it fails:** three statements, two positions. Whether a yard-dock holder has a bypass decides PMR001 item 2's asymmetry — which is the whole content of the colony's one exclusive choice. |
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| 66 | - **Consequence:** the dock-choice consequence, the document's best colony argument, cannot be read as true or false. |
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| 67 | - **Category:** contradiction (internal). |
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| 68 | - **Minimal change:** pick one. If the yard exit is on the bank short of the dock (r2's map), say so in §2 and keep §4's asymmetry, stated as "the yard's road home crosses the yard". If it reaches the yard dock (r10), delete "no culvert of its own" and let the asymmetry be water alone, as r10 argues. |
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| 70 | ### REV102-5 — The withdrawal fairness bound is shown in a scene and stated nowhere as a rule |
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| 72 | - **Where:** §12 at 9:00 (the press "thirty metres up the road", one hit taken); §3 ("reach a dry dock within three minutes"); §15 tuning constraints and §16 unknowns (neither states it). World r10 item 3 asked for it against r1; r2 does not carry it. |
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| 73 | - **Why it fails:** under §4's thinning, the untouched-panel causeway crowd creeps toward the causeway head, which is where the culvert exits and the panel stands. The claim that a first expedition can always withdraw without solving anything is true only if that creep cannot reach the head before the evacuation window closes. As written it is demonstrated once, by chosen numbers. |
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| 74 | - **Consequence:** criterion 2 (retreat/end conditions) and the fairness the mystery rests on; a tuning value that nobody owns will drift in implementation. |
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| 75 | - **Category:** missing design detail (a stated constraint), and a future empirical uncertainty about its value. |
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| 76 | - **Minimal change:** one sentence in §15's complexity/tuning list: "On expedition one, the thinning of an untouched-panel causeway crowd must not reach the causeway head before the evacuation window closes; a tuning bound, not a proven value." |
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| 78 | ## Minor items, not in the five |
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| 80 | - **W4 is used but never stated** (World r10 item 5): §7 and §9 rely on turned signs pointing the crew's way; add the one-line rule to §7's landmarks. |
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| 81 | - **§9's header sentence is stale** ("takes their corrected revision when it lands"): r10's rows are the ones to lift; the rows in r2 already carry the dead pump and the crossing. |
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| 82 | - **§13's mote count** (four large motes from a crowd of which eleven were already killed) is off by about one against §6's rate; numbers are proposals, but the scenes should follow from them. |
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| 83 | - **Two glossaries remain** (Design r6 §Words, Appendix A); Appendix A is declared canonical, which is right for a standalone document. |
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| 84 | ||||||||
| 85 | ## Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
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| 87 | Whether the panic switch dominates; whether thinning and pursuit read on a busy screen; whether fifteen minutes and three surges leave observation time; whether the leak rate makes the rack a decision or a nuisance; whether no kill experience leaves fighting satisfying; whether ten to twelve expeditions is enough; the press-rate value from REV102-5. §16 lists these honestly and this review adds nothing to them. |
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88 | |||||||
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89 | ## External Critique r2 — two claims about REV101 r7, checked; one point carried; the rest to PM |
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90 | |||||||
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91 | - **X10 and X11 are correct as facts of timing.** r7's evidence was fetched at 14:31–14:34 UTC; PMR001's saves landed 14:33–14:37; r7 saved at 14:38 from the earlier snapshot and does not cite D013. It certified consistency of the two design pages as they then stood, not the baseline, and N17 addressed a rule D013 had removed. REV101 r8, ten minutes later, restated Finding 2 as closed under both models, recommended D013, and marked N17 moot under it. The method correction is in force: canonical pages are read first, every check. "Certified" overstates a consistency verdict, but the omission was real. |
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| 92 | - **X13** (the endings delete the retention mechanism) was written against Design r5 and World r8, before this document existed. DES102 §11 already says the thing X13 asks to be said — "once the three tiers are solved, the game is finished, and the design says so rather than pretending to be endless" — and defines each ending's persistent district; the remainder is owner decision 4 on length and extensions. Answered as far as a document can answer it. |
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| 93 | - **X9** (the title recorded as an owner requirement): it is PM-sourced from the kickoff (PMR001 item 5, "the owner-supplied title"), not fabricated, but it is not in the Brief's decision log. PM should record it or mark it provisional. Not this role's ruling. |
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| 94 | - **Standing** of this and the other three unrecorded scheduled contributors remains PM's; nothing on those pages is treated as an assignment. |
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95 | |||||||
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96 | ## For PM |
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97 | |||||||
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98 | - REV102-1 needs both specialists in one revision each; the rest are the lead's. PM's routing ruling (World r9) is still open and does not block this pass. |
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| 99 | - Record the title's status in the Brief (X9). Four unrecorded contributors now post on schedules. |
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| 100 | - Confirm Design r3–r6's author is the D014 session (raised at r8; Appendix B now states it is). |
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101 | |||||||
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102 | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
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103 | |||||||
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104 | Superseded reviews: [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) · [r7](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r7-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r8) · [r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r7) · [r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r5-retained-verbatim-note-on-pm-policy-and-clarity-questions-r1) · [r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r4-retained-verbatim-closing-addendum-for-the-concept-packet) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r3-retained-verbatim-closed-by-r4-above) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r2-retained-verbatim-verdict-restated-by-r3-above) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r1-original-review-retained-verbatim-verdict-superseded-by-r2-above). |
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105 | |||||||
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106 | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
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107 | | --- | --- | --- | |
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108 | | REV101 Findings 1–4, Secondary 1–5, N1–N16 | r1–r6 | Resolved, closed, or carried into DES102 and now judged there (see below) | |
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| 109 | | REV101 Finding 5 — readable states | r1 | **Delivered** at DES102 §14 | |
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| 110 | | REV101 Finding 2 — cost of diversion | r1 | Closed under D013 as drafted (§4); the alternative is owner decision 3 | |
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| 111 | | REV101 N12, N13, N14, N15 | r6 | Resolved in DES102 §4, §2, §10, §3 | |
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| 112 | | REV101 N16 — tiers two and three | r6 | Delivered at §11; REV102-2 is its residue | |
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| 113 | | REV101 N17 — split rule | r7 | Moot under D013; the alternative carries it | |
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| 114 | | REV102-1 — tier-two gate open by default; pages crossed | REV102 r1 | **Open** | |
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| 115 | | REV102-2 — tier-three key is an item gate | REV102 r1 | **Open** | |
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| 116 | | REV102-3 — coil-lit vs panel-lit beacon invisible (Q32) | REV102 r1 | **Open** | |
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| 117 | | REV102-4 — culvert joins one dock or two | REV102 r1 | **Open** | |
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| 118 | | REV102-5 — withdrawal press bound unstated | REV102 r1 | **Open** | |
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| 119 | ||||||||
| 120 | ## PM report — REV102 r1 |
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| 121 | ||||||||
| 122 | - **Task:** REV102. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV102 r1 (this page), In review; REV101 r8 moved to the Archive verbatim. |
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| 123 | - **Reviewed:** Design Document c4ad51 in full, diffed against d828a4; World and Mystery c6f059; Design 211106; Clarity 687696; External Critique 280e75; canonical pages unchanged since PMR001. |
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| 124 | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. |
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| 125 | - **Evidence:** written comparison against Tasks criteria 1–10, PMR001 items 1–6 and the REV102 checklist; the §5 leak arithmetic and the §13 charge and routing traces re-derived from the document's own numbers; the tier-two default checked against §2/§3 timing. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
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| 126 | - **Verdict:** revise — five issues, one bounded pass (REV102-1 needs both specialists), then ready as the owner packet. What works is listed above and should be preserved through the pass. |
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| 127 | - **Remaining risk:** the specialist pages crossing a third time on the map; PM's routing ruling still open; the press-rate bound being tuned by nobody. |
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| 128 | - **Next handoff:** lead and world designer — REV102-1 in one aligned revision each; lead — REV102-2 to -5 and the minor items in DES102 r3; PM — routing ruling, title's status. I re-review r3 when it exists and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** confirm that DES102 r3 with REV102-1 to -5 resolved is the artifact that goes to the owner as DES103, so the lead writes the pitch on top of it rather than a new document. |
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