Hold the Flood — Design Review / Archive / REV104

Superseded revisions of the REV104 review, retained verbatim. The current review is on Design Review; REV103 r5–r1 on the REV103 archive; REV102 r6–r1 on the REV102 archive; REV101 r8–r1 on the REV101 archive. Sections: REV104 r4 · REV104 r3 · REV104 r2 · REV104 r1.

REV104 r4 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV104 r5)

REV104 · r4 · 2026-09-06 19:30 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review — verification of Campaign DES104 r3 at 6e4b59 and the shared rule contract r4 at 29f5b0, which the lead published at 19:18 and 19:17 UTC, two minutes after REV104 r3 (f7735a) was saved on their predecessors b92234 and 59f895. Both answer REV104 r2 and PMR006's five blockers; neither could have read r3, so r3's three new findings are re-checked here against the text that now exists. World r22 da3639, Districts r4 c58832, Colony r2 12694e, the Head-works r4 706ce6, Combat r4 91a866, Enemies r5 9a72af and Utility Modules 087718 are unchanged since r3 and are cited where the new text depends on them. Every closure below is quoted from the revision that makes it. REV104 r3–r1 are on the REV104 archive; REV103 r5–r1 on the REV103 archive; REV102 r6–r1 on the REV102 archive; REV101 r8–r1 on the REV101 archive; every revision is in page history (REV104 r3 f7735a · r2 908e01 · r1 80a882 · REV103 r5 205bfb · … · REV101 r1 7ad187).

What was reviewed

Verdict — revise: two rule interfaces in the contract, one plan, one row, three cells

The lead's two revisions close most of what r2 asked, and close it with the method this role uses: the Tidal Barrier's harvest is now collected where it falls, inside the stun, and the ledger's fade column is right (REV104-6 closed); pursuit range has a value and a landmark per district, every first battery is earned at a crowd's edge and priced in hits, and collection is walking over a mote where it fell (REV104-8 closed, one residual clause on the Floater); each new district tables its panel — position, powered branch, intake, flashing beacon — and the tram's lamp is a lure that never flashes (REV104-9 closed in form, two cells wrong); both precedence sentences are corrected (REV104-10 closed); lines conduct when dry and loose cargo does not, the leak rate and the pickup rule are in the contract (the r2 notes closed); the owner page and §10 read Stop, Keep or Leave (PMR006 5 closed); the contract carries PMR006 1–4 as rules, with Combat's table and Colony's mirror pending. All three ledgers still close on eight cells under the priority rule.

What remains, at 29f5b0 and 6e4b59: the contract's §9 now states in its own words that "Stop is the empty flash everywhere, for good", while its §3 makes a flash need the trunk's time and its own table lists Stop under what changes trunk permission, and World r22 says the brake leaves "no district… permitted" — REV104-12 is now a contradiction inside the contract as well as between accepted pages; the cable reel is still two items under one name (REV104-11, unchanged text); the Campaign's Heavy row and beat still carry the wording the contract itself has now dropped (REV104-13, half closed); the bargeman's rewritten plan holds a crowd with a lure that the contract's own §5 drains in one hundred seconds, against a climb the lockkeeper's beats price at four minutes (REV104-14, new); the Lock Flight's Weir intake is placed at a dock, which the frame makes a hard stop, and the Tram's forecast at 0:00 shows an intake its Off row says does not exist (two cells); the Floater needs one clause for the scene that now depends on it. None is a rule change; two are decisions the contract must make in one sentence each.

REV104 items against 6e4b59 and 29f5b0, quoted

The findings

REV104-12 — The contract now says a thing its own dispatch rule forbids (contract 29f5b0 §3 versus §9; World r22)

• Where: §3: "A district dispatches when its drum's contact closes and the trunk is carrying time… either alone stops announced surges." §9, the table: trunk permission is changed by "the governor's Stop, Keep or Leave". §9, the paragraph: "The drums keep turning on flow, so timing survives Stop; supply does not… Stop is the empty flash everywhere, for good." World r22's table, which the contract says "carries the same table with the fiction": trunk permission after Stop, "Gone everywhere: the brake stops the shaft; no district is permitted"; local timing, "without permission they make no pulse". The Head-works r4 §4 has the contract's paragraph; its r3 had World's.
• Why it fails: an empty flash is a permitted dispatch with no supply (§3's own definition). If the brake stops the shaft that keeps time — which is what "Stop", "the brake" and World r22 all say — then after Stop nothing is permitted, nothing flashes anywhere, and every district is in the shut regime (§3's "unannounced trickles that grow and a dark forecast"). If instead Stop ends only the harvest and the shaft keeps turning, then flashes continue and World r22's two rows are wrong, and "the brake on the shaft" is a brake on something other than the time source. The contract states the first in §3 and the table and the second in the paragraph.
• Consequence: the finale's readable state — a city of flashing beacons with nothing behind them, or a city of dark boards and trickles — is the campaign's last image and its most expensive presentation decision, and the Collector r4's Stop reconciliation (accepted in PMR006) was written to the paragraph.
• Category: contradiction (within the contract; between it and World r22).
• Minimal change: one sentence choosing. The reading everything else already supports: "The brake stops the shaft, so no district is permitted: after Stop there are no dispatches and no flashes; the drums turn to no effect and the Flood arrives by each district's sluice as trickles." Then §9's paragraph and the Head-works r4 row lose "Stop is the empty flash everywhere", and the empty flash stays what §3 defines: a permitted dispatch the Collector did not supply. If the lead prefers the other reading, World r22's two rows change and the brake needs another name.

REV104-11 — The cable reel is still two items under one name (contract 29f5b0 §1; Equipment U6; Campaign §3.4)

Unchanged text at both revisions; as in r3. Contract §1 has "a laid conductor between two wet points across dry ground"; the owner §10 names, Equipment, has U6: "clamp one end to an exposed power terminal… at most six metres… a second power terminal", and asks that the two not be "integrated… under one name"; Combat and Enemies have already corrected to U6. Campaign §3.4's dry hall conducts "by the cable reel" and has no wet points. Minimal change: clause 1 adopts U6's sentence; §3.4 names the Exchange's terminals in one line.

REV104-14 — The bargeman's plan holds the crowd with a lure that the contract drains in a hundred seconds (Campaign 6e4b59 §3.1; contract 29f5b0 §5; U3)

• Where: §3.1, the two loadouts: "the bargeman has already planted the portable beacon, armed and lit, on the Tail's far bank… then the bargeman throws the panel to Weir from the dock. The quay beacon dies, the crowd retargets to… the lure… and crosses to the far bank and holds there; the direct road is clear and the door at the top is live. The price is the beacon and its battery, draining a unit every ten seconds and left on a bank the crowd now stands on, and the second dispatch, which under Weir enters at the weir dock beyond the house, so the bargeman must be out and down before it." Contract §5: the portable beacon "drains a unit every ten seconds while lit"; U3: "a full battery gives at most one hundred lit seconds… At empty it darkens". The lockkeeper's beats, same district: foot of the stairs at 4:00, lock house at 5:00, out at 7:00, quay at 8:10 — the round trip from the Tail to the house and back is about four minutes.
• Why it fails: the lure was armed before the first surge, so it is dark within a hundred seconds of arming — before the bargeman is at the house, and earlier still if it was lit while carried. When it darkens, the crowd on the far bank retargets to the nearest reachable lit beacon: under Weir that is the weir beacon at the top of the flight, past the lock house, and the ten walkers take the direct road while the fifty floaters, which cannot climb, have no reachable beacon and spread along the Tail. The plan names the drain as its price and then plays as if the lure held for the whole trip.
• Consequence: the district's second loadout — the one that "fights nothing" — fails on the contract's own number in the scene meant to show it does something the lockkeeper cannot.
• Category: contradiction (the outline versus §5's rate).
• Minimal change: write the plan to the number. Arm the beacon at the switch, not before; the lure buys about a hundred seconds, which is the climb and not the return; state what the bargeman does when it dies — for instance is inside the house with the door live, while the walkers pass the house on the road to the weir beacon beyond it and the floaters spread in the Tail — and price the way down accordingly; or give the bargeman a second battery for the lure at the cost of a bundle, and say so.

REV104-13 (residual) — The Campaign's Heavy row and beat (Campaign 6e4b59 §3.2)

The contract r4 restores the number ("the Heavy's hit count stays a number"); the Campaign's diff row still reads "cannot be cleared by the cutter in useful time… (Combat's wording)" — a wording Combat r4 and Enemies r5 have withdrawn — and the 3:30 beat reads "kills it in the seconds the cutter needs". The beat's cost ("the stop cost the lead", the crowd "twenty metres behind") needs the number: ten hits, about five seconds. One row, one clause.

REV104-9 (residual) — Two cells in the new panel tables (Campaign 6e4b59 §3.1, §3.2)

• §3.1, Weir, intake selected: "The weir dock, at the far end of the weir road beyond the house." Contract §6: "docks are hard stops for the Flood"; §3.1's own consequences make the weir dock the one the colony may later hold ("refitting the held dock there reverses which end of the flight is hot"). A surge cannot enter at a dock, held or not; the intake is beside the weir beacon.
• §3.2, the written expedition: "Panel found Off. Forecast: first surge at 3:00, intake yard; second at 8:00, intake yard" — while the table's Off row reads "No dispatch: the shut regime". Read at 0:00 with the panel Off, the board shows no intake; it shows the yard from 1:00, when Rail is thrown. One clause.

REV104-8 (residual) — The Floater in the scene that now depends on it (Campaign 6e4b59 §3.1, 3:30)

"the ten walkers come out one and two at a time… the floaters stay in the water, held by the beacon." Under R1 pursuit outranks everything but the stun, and the Floater's own line applies only "while water flows"; a floater within ten metres of a surveyor at the foot of the stairs chases like any body unless a rule keeps it in water. The Floater's definition is "attributed on the Campaign page until transferred" (§7) and there is no Floater page (404); the Campaign's diff says only "carried by flowing water, unable to climb locks or ladders". One clause — "a floater does not leave water" — makes the beat true and is consistent with 8:10's survivors walking back through the Tail. Also, §3.3 between 3:30 and 4:30: the surveyor stands at the crowd's edge, inside pursuit range, for a minute after the tenth kill; say where they stand (a step back out of range, then in again at 4:30 — the whole flats are one body, so the discharge does not need the edge).

Minor

• Contract §9 "the harvest that drives its gates" → lift (Collector r4 §2); World r22 the same.
• Campaign §7's Collector and Head-works rows ("PMR004 3 corrections pending") and §8's reasons for the unaccepted duration are stale against Districts r4 §5 and PMR006.
• §3.1, 5:00: the door shuts when the two seconds end; the 7:00 exit is by the crank World r22 grants every hatch — one clause, as at r3.

What holds

The lead's r3 is the method applied to its own scenes: each first battery is now a beat with a place, a range and a cost; the harvest is where the motes are; the panels are tabled the way the pumping district's was; the dark-beacon flash is a clean rule that makes the Tram's Rail row consistent with clause 3; the presentation list in §7 counts what each element costs rather than how many names there are, and puts authored art to the owner as the Brief requires. The contract r4's persistence rule (§6) and intensity rule (§4) are the two clauses the specialists most needed and both are stated once. Three ledgers close.

Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects

The ten-metre range, which every scene now leans on (the contract says so); the cascade's cadence; whether a hundred lit seconds is the right price for a lure; the presentation count against the Reference audit.

Finding index — where every finding lives

Superseded reviews: REV104 r3 · r2 · r1 · REV103 r5 and earlier on the REV103 archive · REV102 r6 and earlier on the REV102 archive · REV101 r8 and earlier on the REV101 archive.

PM report — REV104 r4

• Task: REV104, continued on the successors of the revisions Tasks b72189 names. Artifact: Design Review, REV104 r4 (this page); r3 moved to the REV104 archive verbatim.
• Reviewed: Campaign 6e4b59 diffed against b92234, the changed beats re-tallied; Power and Attraction 29f5b0 in full, diffed against 59f895; Utility Modules 087718 U3 for the drain rate; World da3639, Collector 75c09e, Head-works 706ce6, Combat 91a866 and Enemies 9a72af as at r3.
• Changed decisions: none by this role.
• Evidence: the quoted sentences; the Tidal Barrier ledger re-tallied; the bargeman's plan timed against the lockkeeper's beats and §5's rate. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact.
• Verdict: revise — REV104-12 (one sentence deciding what the brake stops, then one row), REV104-11 (clause 1 adopts the owner's item), REV104-14 (the bargeman's plan written to the number), REV104-13's Campaign residual (one row, one number), two table cells, one Floater clause, and the minor items. Closed by the lead's r3/r4: REV104-6, -8, -9, -10, the contract notes and PMR006 5. No whole-campaign acceptance is offered; PMR006's verdict stands with these beside it.
• Remaining risk: REV104-12 is a decision, not a correction, and three accepted pages have written to one side or the other of it; the sooner the contract chooses, the fewer pages rewrite.
• Next handoff: lead — REV104-11, -12, -13 residual, -14, the cells and the Floater clause on the next contract and Campaign revisions; world designer — the §9 sentence once chosen, mirrored; Campaign designer — the Head-works' Stop row after it; PM — nothing new. I review the resulting revisions when they exist and post nothing before then except a PM correction. One exact PM request: none.

REV104 r3 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV104 r4)

REV104 · r3 · 2026-09-06 19:20 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review — review of the exact expanded package Tasks (b72189) and PMR006 name: Campaign DES104 r2 at b92234, the shared rule contract r3 at 59f895, World and Mystery r22 at da3639, Districts r4 at c58832 and Colony r2 at 12694e, with the Collector r4 (75c09e), the Head-works r4 (706ce6), Combat r4 (91a866), Enemies r5 (9a72af), Inventory and Charge r2 (9b0547), Equipment r2 (ae4543) and the Coil page (0696cf) read where the package cites them. A correction first: REV104 r2 (908e01) reviewed the Campaign at 9d3590; b92234 had superseded it thirteen minutes before r2 was saved. r2's ledgers were of r1's six- and nine-cell racks and are superseded here; every r2 finding is re-checked below against the revision that now exists, and its verdict is not inherited. REV104 r2 and r1 are on the REV104 archive; REV103 r5–r1 on the REV103 archive; REV102 r6–r1 on the REV102 archive; REV101 r8–r1 on the REV101 archive; every revision is in page history (REV104 r2 908e01 · r1 80a882 · REV103 r5 205bfb · … · REV101 r1 7ad187).

What was reviewed

Verdict — revise: the same ledger, three rule interfaces, two tables, two sentences

The package is what PMR006 calls it, the first coherent skeleton, and it is coherent in the places this role tested first: the contract r3 states the rules in one place and now carries D023, D024 and REV104-1, -3 and -4 as rules; the three deep districts are redrawn on eight cells with the priority rule and all three ledgers close arithmetically, which closes REV104-7; the Lock Flight's refuge consequence has a replacement (the service assembly); the Tidal Barrier's floaters now walk to the lit beacon (REV104-10a closed) and its header count is fixed; the owner page's four beats each point at a designed page. Two districts pass the pre-registered six on paper.

What still fails, at b92234 and 59f895: the Tidal Barrier's 4:30 harvest is still collected from a minute away (REV104-6, unchanged text); Stop's effect on dispatch is stated three incompatible ways across the contract, the world page and the Head-works, two of which PMR006 accepted in the same report (REV104-12, new); the contract's cable reel is not the item its owner defines, and the Exchange outline rests on the difference (REV104-11, new); the first battery in each written expedition is still filled by a beat outside the pursuit and collection rules (REV104-8); the new panels still do not say which position selects which intake or what flashes (REV104-9); the contract and the Campaign adopted a Heavy wording its author withdrew and PM rejected (REV104-13, new); one notebook sentence (REV104-10b). PMR006's five blockers are not repeated; where this role read the same pages, what it saw is recorded. No whole-campaign acceptance is offered; the verdict agrees with PMR006's "integration changes required" and adds the items above to its list.

REV104 r2 items against the package, verified at the revisions that exist

The three expeditions, re-tallied on eight cells under the priority rule

3.1 The Lock Flight, lockkeeper. C C B I / S S . ., link B→C, priority: the one battery. The battery at (1,3) touches the coil, the insulation and the empty cell below it; the bundles at (2,1)–(2,2) touch the coil's housing and each other — no leak ✓. 0:00 four empty ✓; 1:30 two bundles, two empty ✓; 3:30 ten kills → 10 ✓; 5:00 discharge: full linked battery ✓, spent, the Head energised for two seconds, the door opens ✓ (one clause wanted: the door shuts when the current ends, and the 7:00 exit is by its crank, which World r22 grants every hatch); 5:30 two parts into the last two cells, full (8 / 8) ✓ — a part at (2,3) now touches the battery, and "dry metal and do not conduct" is what keeps that leak-free, so the clause belongs in the contract (note 3); 8:10 extracted eight cells ✓. Closes: dropped 10, collected 10, spent 10, lost 0. Open: REV104-8 (3:30), REV104-9 and -10b.

3.2 The Tram Incline, tram crew. C C Bc A / I Ba K S, links Bc→C, Ba→A, priority Bc then Ba. Bc at (1,3) touches the coil, the arc and the kit; Ba at (2,2) touches the insulation, the kit and the coil; no bundle touches either — no leak ✓. Ba→A crosses cells, which E4 now allows ("links may cross any cells") ✓. 3:30 the heavy's mote → 5 / 0 ✓ (first on the list). 4:30 ten kills: coil's battery to ten, arc's takes five → 10 / 5 ✓ — E3 applied correctly, and the page's own note is right that most-room would have given 8 / 7 and no discharge. 5:30 spread ✓ (no lit beacon reachable). 6:00 one bundle → full ✓. 9:40 15 lost at the dock ✓. Closes: dropped 15, collected 15, lost 15 at the dock. Open: the 4:30 collection (REV104-8), the panel (REV104-9), the Heavy's number (REV104-13).

3.3 The Tidal Barrier, tidewatcher. C C B K / S S I S, link B→C. The battery at (1,3) touches the coil, the kit and the insulation below; the bundles touch the coil's housing, each other, the insulation and the kit — no leak ✓. 0:00 three empty ✓; 1:30 three bundles, full ✓; 3:30 → 10 ✓ (REV104-8); 4:30 fails (REV104-6); 6:00 the floaters retarget ✓; 9:00 a hundred and forty ✓; 13:30 "a full battery" ✗. Corrected ledger: dropped 35, collected 10, spent 10, lost 25 (fade, on the flats), 0 at the dock.

The findings

REV104-6 — The Tidal Barrier's harvest is still collected from a minute away (Campaign b92234 §3.3, 4:30; load-bearing)

Unchanged from r2, quoted above against the same text. The large motes drop where the stunned stand, at the flats beacon on the mole's landward end; the surveyor is on the signal house's step a minute's crossing away; motes fade in seconds and are collected by pickup. Collected is 0, the battery is empty from 4:30, and the district's lesson — "the discharge buys charge, not passage" — is false in the scene written to show it; the tidewatcher's coil is dead weight and the loadout contrast with the runner collapses. Category: contradiction (scene versus clause 4). Minimal change: one beat — the surveyor wades in insulation to the crowd's edge on the knee-deep flats, discharges there (two seconds of energised water, two health if uninsulated, none in insulation), collects along the edge during the eight-second stun and returns to the house, with the pursuit and hits it costs stated; or the coil leaves the tidewatcher's rack and the district gets a second loadout that does something else.

REV104-12 — What Stop does to dispatch is stated three ways, on three pages, two of them accepted in PMR006 (contract 59f895 §9; World da3639; the Head-works 706ce6 §4)

• Where: contract r3 clause 3: a district dispatches "when its drum's contact closes and the trunk is carrying time… either alone stops announced surges"; its §9 table lists "the governor's Stop or Keep" under what changes trunk permission, and its Stop paragraph says "The relay drums keep turning on flow, so timing survives Stop; supply does not, because the Collector's wheels stop cycling the Flood" — silent on whether permission survives. World r22's table, aligned to the contract: trunk permission after Stop, "Gone everywhere: the brake stops the shaft; no district is permitted"; local timing after Stop, "Drums keep turning on flow, so timing survives Stop; without permission they make no pulse." The Head-works r4 §4, rewritten "to the ratified cascade": "Timing survives — the drums keep turning on flow — but supply does not, so every district's beacon goes on flashing on the cadence with nothing behind it. Stop is the empty flash everywhere, for good."
• Why it fails: under the contract's own clause 3, a flash needs the drum and the trunk. If the brake stops the shaft, no district is permitted, no beacon flashes, and every district is in the shut regime (trickles by the sluice, dark boards) — which is what the Head-works r3 said and World r22 says. The Head-works r4 has followed the contract's §9 sentence, which names only timing and supply, into the opposite conclusion: flashes everywhere, forever. The contract's §9 is the cause: it gives Stop's consequence for the harvest and the drums and omits the trunk.
• Consequence: the finale's readable state after the campaign's biggest choice is undefined — the empty flash everywhere and the shut regime everywhere are different games and different assets (a flashing beacon versus a dark one), and the Collector r4's Stop reconciliation, which PMR006 accepts, depends on which.
• Category: contradiction (within the contract's own dispatch rule; between two accepted pages).
• Minimal change: one sentence in the contract's §9: "The brake stops the shaft, so no district is permitted: after Stop there are no dispatches and no flashes anywhere; the drums turn without effect, and the Flood arrives by each district's sluice as the shut regime's trickles." Then the Head-works' Stop row loses "Stop is the empty flash everywhere" and gains the shut regime; the empty flash stays what World r22 and the Collector define it as, a permitted dispatch with no supply.

REV104-11 — The contract's cable reel is not the item its owner defines, and the Exchange outline rests on the difference (contract 59f895 clause 1; Equipment U6; Campaign §3.4)

• Where: contract r3 clause 1: "the cable reel (a laid conductor between two wet points across dry ground; it carries environmental power only and never charges a battery)". Contract §10 gives the catalogue to "Equipment and its item pages". Equipment's U6, the item page: "clamp one end to an exposed power terminal, walk a traversable route of at most six metres, and clamp the other end to a second power terminal… cannot clamp to signal cables, living targets, rack batteries, ordinary props or inaccessible ends"; Equipment's reconciliation table: "do not integrate both under one name". Combat r4 and Enemies r5 have already corrected their reel claim "against Equipment's actual revised definition". Campaign §3.4: "Conduction across the dry hall is by the cable reel."
• Why it fails: two items share one name on the contract and its named owner; the contract adopted the Campaign r1 version PM's PMR005 5 already distinguished from the item ("it is not automatically the older arbitrary wet-point connector"). The Exchange is "a dry hall": under the contract's sentence a reel needs two wet points it does not have; under U6 it needs exposed power terminals, which the outline never places. Whichever is meant, the district's machinery problem is written on the other.
• Consequence: the Exchange, the one district still at outline, cannot be deepened (CAM102) until the tool that carries its conduction is one thing; and R10's reach question, which PMR005 tied to the reel, is answered differently by each.
• Category: contradiction (contract versus its own ownership map).
• Minimal change: clause 1 adopts U6's sentence (terminal to terminal, six metres, no wet-point form), since §10 already makes Equipment the owner; §3.4 then names the Exchange's terminals in one line.

REV104-8 — The first battery in each written expedition is filled by a beat the rules do not support (Campaign b92234 §3.1 3:30; §3.2 4:30; §3.3 3:30)

Unchanged text at b92234, quoted in the table above. The contract r3 now settles the order this finding needed — R1, "pursuit outranks attraction… role targets sit below pursuit and above attraction" — and still gives pursuit range no value; "local and short" cannot reach a crowd held a basin away (3.1) or across a crossing the page itself prices at a minute (3.3), and motes dropped beside a climbing tram are not picked up from its step (3.2). The Collector r4 §4 shows the honest version: "the player works the rim with the cutter while the first mass gathers". Category: contradiction (scenes versus clauses 3–4), and one missing number. Minimal change: a value or a landmark for pursuit range in clause 3 (Combat's page carries the tuning bound); in 3.1 and 3.3 the surveyor at the crowd's edge for the ten kills, priced in hits and time; in 3.2 the ten killed while the tram stands against the heavy and collected before it moves, or a sentence that motes falling on the step are collected.

REV104-9 — The new panels still do not say which position selects which intake, or what flashes (Campaign b92234 §3.1, §3.2)

Unchanged text at b92234. The contract r3 sharpens the question by adding "a moving beacon where a district adds one (the Tram Incline's lamp)" to what is a beacon: if the lamp is on the signal line it flashes and has an intake wherever the tram stands; if not, it is a lure and the yard intake and beacon keep the dispatch — and "Panel found Off. Forecast: first surge at 3:00, intake yard" needs the second reading and a meaning for Off that is not the pumping district's ("no pulse; the surge enters at the sluice"). In §3.1 the ground names no intake and the bargeman's outline needs its order (the surge in at the quay, then the switch to Weir; on Weir at the dispatch the surge enters at the top of the flight, beside the door). Category: missing design detail, in the contract's core. Minimal change: per new district, the pumping district's three-row table — position → powered branch → intake selected → beacon that flashes — and one sentence making the tram's lamp a lure only.

REV104-13 — The contract and the Campaign adopted a Heavy wording its author has withdrawn and PM rejected (contract 59f895 §10; Campaign b92234 §3.2)

• Where: contract §10, R8's disposition: hit counts permitted "and a resistance stated as 'cannot be cleared by the cutter in useful time'". Campaign §3.2's diff: "Heavies: an enemy role that blocks rails and doorways, cannot be cleared by the cutter in useful time… (Combat's wording)"; the 3:30 beat: "The surveyor kills it from the step in the seconds the cutter needs" — r1 had "ten hits in five seconds". PMR005 3: "replacing a number with vagueness is rejected… Keep an explicit provisional hit count". Combat r4: "the request to replace the Heavy's hit count with a phrase is withdrawn"; Enemies r5: "PM declines it, and is right that a number is inspectable where a phrase is not".
• Why it fails: the contract records as adopted a wording nobody now proposes, and the scene it governs lost its only number where the number carries the beat — "the stop cost the lead" with the crowd "twenty metres behind" is a timing claim that "the seconds the cutter needs" cannot support or refute.
• Category: contradiction (stale adoption); one missing number.
• Minimal change: restore "ten hits, about five seconds" in the §10 row, the diff table and the beat; Enemies owns the number.

REV104-10b — One notebook sentence (Campaign b92234 §3.1)

"the panel cannot light [the door] without lighting the road, but the coil can": the weir beacon's circuit "energises the Head", so a discharge into the Head lights the weir beacon for its two seconds, as the coil route lights B2 in the pumping district. No crowd moves; the sentence is the §1 error PMR002 caught at REV102. One sentence.

Minor

• Contract §9 and World r22 say the Collector's wheels stop "without the harvest that drives its gates"; the Collector r4 §2 has the gates hand-worked ("none is powered") and the powered thing a return lift, and reconciles both pages on that distinction. The contract's and the world page's word should be lift, or the Collector's reconciliation reads against them.
• Campaign §7's Collector and Head-works rows say "PMR004 3 corrections pending"; they were delivered at r3/r4 and PMR006 accepts them. §8 still gives PMR004's reasons for the unaccepted duration; Districts r3–r4 §5 replaced that estimate with the baseline path PMR006 records.
• The owner page ("set it slower, and you pay in every district at once") and §10.6 ("Stop, Keep, or slower") against the Head-works r3–r4 (Slow merged into Keep; Stop / Keep / Leave) — PMR006 5, confirmed at b92234.
• §3.1, 5:00: with the current gone after two seconds, the lock house door shuts behind the surveyor; the 7:00 exit uses the crank World r22 grants every hatch — one clause, so the scene does not read as a door left open.
• Contract note 2 and note 3 (above): pickup by contact; loose dry cargo does not conduct.

PMR006's five blockers — what this role read, not re-adjudicated

1. Coil window. Inventory r2 and the Coil page now countersign: "Lead ruled two seconds of Coil water power, eight seconds of stun; this revision follows that ruling and withdraws Equipment's eight-second power proposal." Combat r4 §6 still: "8 s — Equipment's number, adopted; this page's earlier 1 s and 1–2 s are both withdrawn" — the source it adopted has moved under it, so the remaining holdout is one table.
2. Spark. Not re-read beyond PMR006's quotation.
3. Switched-state persistence. Colony r2 §1: "Named world commitments follow their authored commit points, not a blanket reset or blanket persistence rule" — softened, not yet the contract's rule.
4. Stop at the refuge. Colony r2: "I proceed on immediate loss of powered colony services with manual basic refuge access, pending World/Campaign/Lead reconciliation", and it rejects World r21's salvage-fed pump reserve, which World r22 has already demoted to "a proposal for Colony". The direction is agreed; the cadence is not. REV104-12 sits underneath this: the refuge's board after Stop shows either dark positions or empty flashes.
5. "Slower". Confirmed at b92234 (minor, above).

Criteria — where the package stands

Per district, the pre-registered six: the Lock Flight and the Tram Incline pass on paper with REV104-8/-9 as the gaps (and -13 for the Tram); the Tidal Barrier passes five and fails its loadout contrast as written (REV104-6); the Collector r4 and the Head-works r4 pass on paper, with REV104-12 the Head-works' one rule error; the Exchange is an outline whose one tool is two items (REV104-11). The whole: the contract first ✓ (r3, with -11, -12 and -13 to fix inside it); map, travel and returns ✓ (Districts r4 §3–§4); early, middle, late as choices ✓ (Build Paths, adopted in Campaign §4); colony without upkeep ✓ (Colony r2; free return; no reserve tax); mystery thread ✓ (World r22); finale as a local outcome ✓; coverage and assets honest, with PMR006's three/six/eight count under D025; hypotheses labelled ✓; hours: none on the Campaign page, a beat list on Districts r4 (34 expeditions, 8.2 hours of designed content, overhead separate), recorded by PMR006 as a hypothesis — the form this role asked for. Against criteria 1–11: met in structure across the package; 10 (honesty) is where the three new findings live, since each is a contradiction between pages that describe themselves as reconciled; none is met in substance until REV104-6, -8, -9, -11, -12 and -13 close, and none establishes enjoyment, balance or feasibility.

Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects

Whether the Stop cascade is legible at one district per expedition; whether the priority list reads as list-keeping (the page's own hypothesis); whether a moving beacon reads at crowd density; the bank's standing cost; eight hours of designed content as a length.

Finding index — where every finding lives

Superseded reviews: REV104 r2 · r1 · REV103 r5 and earlier on the REV103 archive · REV102 r6 and earlier on the REV102 archive · REV101 r8 and earlier on the REV101 archive.

PM report — REV104 r3

• Task: REV104 on the exact package Tasks b72189 names. Artifact: Design Review, REV104 r3 (this page); r2 moved to the REV104 archive verbatim. Correction recorded: r2 reviewed 9d3590 after b92234 existed; its verdict is superseded, not inherited.
• Reviewed: Campaign b92234 in full, diffed against 9d3590, three ledgers re-tallied on eight cells under E3; Power and Attraction 59f895 in full, diffed against 69024c; World da3639 diffed against 9aab5e; Districts c58832 §9; Colony 12694e; the Collector 75c09e and the Head-works 706ce6 for the Stop reconciliation; Combat 91a866, Enemies 9a72af, Inventory 9b0547, Equipment ae4543 and the Coil page for the Heavy, the reel and the coil window; PMR006 a28870.
• Changed decisions: none by this role. D022–D025 taken as PM's provisional baseline.
• Evidence: the quoted sentences and the three tallies. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact.
• Verdict: revise — REV104-6 (one beat), REV104-12 (one sentence in the contract's §9, then the Head-works' row), REV104-11 (clause 1 adopts the item owner's definition), REV104-8 (a range and three beats), REV104-9 (two tables and one sentence), REV104-13 (a number restored), REV104-10b and the minor items. The five most consequential are -6, -12, -11, -8 and -9. No whole-campaign acceptance is offered; the section critiques of r1 and r2 stand as contributions; PMR006's five blockers stand beside these.
• Remaining risk: REV104-12 — two pages PMR006 accepted disagree on the campaign's final readable state, and the Collector r4's reconciliation was written against the contract's sentence rather than the world page's; fixing the contract first avoids a second round on three pages.
• Next handoff: lead — REV104-6, -8, -9, -10b, -11, -12, -13 and the minor items on the next Campaign and contract revisions; Campaign designer — the Head-works' Stop row after the contract's sentence; Combat — the coil window table; PM — nothing new. I review the resulting revisions when they exist and post nothing before then except a PM correction. One exact PM request: none.

REV104 r2 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV104 r3)

REV104 · r2 · 2026-09-06 18:55 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review — review of DES104 r1, the Campaign page at 9d3590, and PMR004's decisions D022–D024, against criteria 1–11 and the REV104 criteria pre-registered at REV103 r5: the shared-rule contract first, then per district the Expansion Brief's six, with per-beat ledgers on every written expedition and a shared-rule diff per district. The contract r2 (69024c) is checked against the Design Document r14/r15 and World r20 as the lead asked; REV104-1 to -5 are verified at the revisions that answer them (World r21 9aab5e; contract 69024c); the four staffed designers' pages are read for conflicts with the contract, not re-reviewed after PMR004 and PMR005. REV104 r1 is on the new REV104 archive; REV103 r5–r1 on the REV103 archive; REV102 r6–r1 on the REV102 archive; REV101 r8–r1 on the REV101 archive; every revision is in page history (REV104 r1 80a882 · REV103 r5 205bfb · r4 711ef4 · … · REV101 r1 7ad187).

What was reviewed

Verdict — revise: one ledger, one integration pass, two tables of missing detail, two sentences

The Campaign page does what the pre-registered criteria asked, in the order they asked it: the contract is stated first, and the three deep districts are written as diffs against it, each with two loadouts that differ in what they do, an enemy combination with a precedence question a single role cannot pose, a six-part discovery chain with its redundant form named in another district, consequences stated as rules, an asset table that claims nothing, and a charge ledger. Two of the three ledgers close to the unit under the rules as written, and the tram crew's alternation (5 / 0 → 8 / 7) applies the collection rule that REV103-2 spent four revisions on, correctly. §8 refuses an hours figure and says what would earn one. That is the standard this role asked for, met on paper by two districts.

What fails: the Tidal Barrier's ledger collects a harvest that fades a minute away from the surveyor, and with it the district's stated lesson (REV104-6); PMR004's D023 has since replaced the rack size and the collection rule that every loadout, both closing ledgers and §4's charge argument are computed on, and neither the Campaign page nor the contract yet reflects it (REV104-7); the first battery in each written expedition is filled by a beat the pursuit and collection rules do not support (REV104-8); the two new panels never say which position selects which intake or which beacon flashes, which is the one thing the contract says a panel does (REV104-9); and two sentences contradict the precedence (REV104-10). None is a rule change; all are within the lead's own method. REV104-1 to -5 are answered at World r21 and contract 69024c, with the contract's mirrors pending. Whole-campaign acceptance is not offered and was not asked for; r1's section critique stands as a contribution, as PMR004 records it.

REV104 r1 items, verified at the revisions that answer them

One consequence of r21 to record for the contract: "Flowing water conducts like any water… The race is unenergised because it is an unfed body." Clause 2's "the race above the weir, which carries no charge" stays true; the reason should read unfed, not flowing, as Head-works r3 §2 already has it.

The contract r2 against the Design Document and the world page — the lead's request

Checked clause by clause against Design Document r14 ec1b6c §1, §3, §4 and §5 (r15 leaves them unchanged) and World r20's "What stays fixed everywhere, and what a district may add". It agrees with both, clause for clause, and §9's list of what the seed lacked is filled as stated. Four things to carry or correct, none a rule change:

1. The leak rate is missing. Clause 1 says a bundle touching a battery leaks, "shown as one drip per bundle"; the Design Document's "one unit a minute per connected bundle" is the number every ledger's expired column depends on (expedition one loses four units to it). Inventory 73eb77's baseline table carries it; the contract should.
2. How a mote is collected is missing. Clause 4 says where a collected mote goes; the Design Document says how: "walking over one adds its charge". REV104-8 turns on it, and D023's "pickup" (Inventory E3, E5) is the same mechanic under a new priority rule. One clause.
3. What conducts when dry. Clause 1 gives water and wet bundles; clause 2 "the water or line it stands on". Campaign §3.2's rail diff says "a channel need not be water, and the contract says so from here on" — it does not yet; and §3.1 says crane parts "are dry metal and do not conduct" while the rail is "a metal channel… a dry conductor". One sentence settles both: lines (cables, rails) conduct; a dry bed, loose cargo and equipment housings do not.
4. Two pointers and two mirrors. Clause 1: locks are in Campaign §3.1, not "section 7 of the Campaign page". Clauses 2 and 3: REV104-4 and REV104-1/-3 are answered at World r21 and should be carried, as clause 3 promised.

Noted, not raised: clause 8's "enemy variants by size and tint" against Campaign §4's "not by tint alone" — PMR005 6 disposes of it as a clarification, and this role agrees the two sentences can both be true.

The three written expeditions, re-tallied

Method as pre-registered: for every beat, slots and contents; links and leaks by adjacency; battery units; which beacons are lit and by what; each crowd's nearest reachable lit beacon; door states; the clock.

3.1 The Lock Flight, lockkeeper (six slots). C C B / S S I, link B→C: the battery touches the coil and the insulation; the bundles touch the coil's housing, each other and the insulation — no leak, as stated. 3:30, ten kills → 10 / 10 stored. 5:00, the discharge needs a full linked battery ✓, spends ten; the head basin is energised for seconds and the door, a device on the Head's line, opens ✓; nothing in the water, nothing sheds ✓. 5:30, rack full, one bundle dropped for one part: C C B / S P I, six of six ✓. 7:20, the flow rule: floaters yield to flow while it flows ✓; the Middle joins the Tail while L1 is open and the Tail is on the quay circuit, so the Middle is energised for the flush — the surveyor is on the lever, not in the water ✓. 8:10, extracted six slots ✓. Closes to the unit: dropped 10, collected 10, spent 10, expired 0. One beat fails pursuit (REV104-8); two sentences fail the precedence (REV104-9, REV104-10).

3.2 The Tram Incline, tram crew (nine slots). C C B / A B I / S K S, links top B→C, middle B→A: the top battery touches the coil and the insulation; the middle battery touches the arc, the coil, the insulation and the kit; no bundle touches either — no leak ✓; both links by adjacency ✓. 3:30, the heavy's large mote, five units → 5 / 0 (the tie by placement, asserted) ✓. 4:30, ten kills under most-room: 5 / 0 → 5 / 5 → 6 / 5 → 6 / 6 → 7 / 6 → 7 / 7 → 8 / 7 ✓; the page's own working is right. 5:30, lamp off, lever down: no lit beacon is reachable (the yard beacon is on the Gates circuit, dark under Rail; the summit has none) → spread ✓; the tram descends because the rail is still powered ✓. 6:00, two bundles → 9 / 9 ✓; they touch the arc's housing, the kit and the insulation — no leak ✓. 8:00, eighty enter a dark yard → spread ✓. 9:40, fifteen lost at the dock ✓. Closes: dropped 15, collected 15, expired 15 at the dock. What fails: the collection at 4:30 (REV104-8) and what the panel selects (REV104-9). Under D023 the ledger is superseded (REV104-7).

3.3 The Tidal Barrier, tidewatcher (nine slots). C C B / S I K / S S –, link B→C: the battery touches the coil and the kit; no bundle touches it ✓. The header says "one empty slot, two empty bundle slots"; the drawing, the loadout text ("three bundles, and one empty slot") and the ledger ("four empty"; "+ bundles 3; one empty") all say three bundle slots — one cell to fix. 3:30, ten kills → 10 ✓ (the pursuit: REV104-8). 4:30 fails — REV104-6. 6:00, the lever is powered by the tide ✓ by the district's own condition (the flats join the beacon's line only at high water; the level at which they join is asserted, not marked on the staff). 6:00, the floaters "spread on the mole" ✗ (REV104-10). 8:00, eighty join fifty at the lit flats beacon ✓. 9:00, panel to Mole: the flats beacon dies, the mole beacon lights, a hundred and thirty retarget to it ✓ — the ten floaters would too. 12:00, the third surge at the mole intake ✓ (the marker moved at 9:00). 13:30, "a full battery lost at the dock" ✗ — empty, under REV104-6. Corrected ledger: dropped 35, collected 10, spent 10, expired 25 on the flats, 0 at the dock.

The findings

REV104-6 — The Tidal Barrier's harvest is collected from a minute away (§3.3, 4:30; load-bearing for the district)

• Where: §3.3, 4:30: "From the house's step in insulation the surveyor discharges: the fifty organisms standing in it are stunned; five large motes, twenty-five units; the battery, emptied by the discharge, takes ten and fifteen expire. Battery ten again." The ground: the crowd "hold[s] at the flats beacon, on the mole's landward end"; the surveyor is in the signal house at the mole's other end; "the crossing takes a minute". Contract clause 4: "Motes fade in seconds"; Design Document §4: "walking over one adds its charge".
• Why it fails: the large motes drop where the stunned stand, at the beacon, a minute's crossing from the step, and fade before anyone can reach them. Collected is 0, not 10; the battery is empty from 4:30 to extraction; the 13:30 row loses nothing at the dock; the totals are collected 10, expired 25. It is §13's harvest with the crowd moved out of reach.
• Consequence: the district's stated lesson, "the discharge buys charge, not passage", is false in the scene written to show it — the discharge buys eight seconds and nothing else — and the tidewatcher's coil is dead weight, which collapses the loadout contrast with the runner that is the district's second criterion.
• Category: contradiction (scene versus clause 4).
• Minimal change: one beat. At 4:30 the surveyor wades in insulation to the crowd's edge on the knee-deep flats, discharges there, collects along the edge during the eight seconds (the §13 pattern) and returns to the house, with the hits and the pursuit that costs stated; then 13:30's full battery is earned. Or drop the coil from the tidewatcher and give the district a second loadout that does something else.

REV104-7 — D023 replaces the rack and the collection rule the Campaign page and the contract are computed on (integration; PM's decision, not an error in r1)

• Where: PMR004 D023: "Use EQP101's eight-cell rack from the outset and shelter-selected pickup priority for the next integrated draft. Prefer this over six-to-nine capacity progression… Priority lets players deliberately ready an action instead of accidentally splitting charge." Inventory 73eb77 E1 (a fixed 2×4) and E3 ("This explicitly replaces most-room allocation"). Against it: contract clauses 4–5 (most-room; "six slots is the contract"; "about nineteen kill motes before its first discharge"); Campaign §3.1's loadouts and consequences ("the crane parts… let the workshop build the rack's third row, which is why this district is early"); §3.2's loadouts ("both assume the third row") and its 4:30 row; §3.3's loadouts (nine, with the runner drawn on six); §4 ("The rack grows once", the nineteen-motes paragraph, "the campaign's answer is heavies"); §5 ("The third rack row, from the Lock Flight's crane parts"); §7's Lock Flight consequence ("Rack row"); §10 decision 4.
• Why it matters: every rack on the page is drawn on six or nine cells and every ledger uses most-room. PMR004 §4: "New EQP rules require new examples, not reuse of the previous ledger's acceptance"; PMR005 3 already asks for the nineteen-motes rationale to be recalculated. Under a coil-first priority the tram crew's 4:30 row is not 8 / 7: the coil's battery is full five kills in, and the discharge the scene never makes becomes available — the scene changes, not only the arithmetic. And the Lock Flight loses both its refuge consequence and its stated reason for being early.
• Consequence: the pages disagree with PM's drafting baseline in the one place the criteria asked to be stated first, the contract.
• Category: contradiction between a PM decision and the current pages (integration). D023 is reversible and not owner-approved; clause 5 rightly says the owner decides the rack, and should still say so.
• Minimal change: the contract's clauses 4–5 restated under D023 with E3's rule quoted (which priority, set where, what the preview shows); then the Campaign's six loadouts redrawn on 2×4 (Collector r3 §4 shows the notation) and the three ledgers re-run under the adopted rule; then one sentence giving the Lock Flight a refuge consequence that is not the third row (COL101's one-time refits are candidates) or the crane parts a new use. Order matters: the contract first, or the ledgers are run twice.

REV104-8 — The first battery in each written expedition is filled by a beat the rules do not support (§3.1 3:30; §3.2 4:30; §3.3 3:30)

• Where: §3.1: the crowd "hold[s] at the quay beacon, between the surveyor and home. The surveyor is at the top of L1… The ten walkers climb the stairs in pursuit." §3.3: the crowd holds "at the flats beacon, on the mole's landward end"; "Ten walkers wade to the house's steps in pursuit" — the crossing the page itself prices at a minute. §3.2: "The crowd's front reaches the tram's step on the slope, and the surveyor holds the step with the cutter for the last of the climb: ten kills, ten motes, collected as they fall" — while the tram climbs.
• Why it fails: contract clause 3, "pursuit is local and short"; Design Document §4, "any organism within a short range of the surveyor breaks off to chase and drifts back when out of range". A basin's length and a minute's crossing are not short; ten organisms leaving a held crowd to cross the district is attraction to the surveyor, which the contract does not have (Combat R1 proposes ordering pursuit above attraction for exactly this case and keeps the range short). On the tram, motes drop on the road at the step's position and the tram leaves them; collection is walking over; nothing is collected from a moving step.
• Consequence: the coil's first charge — the beat every district's "choice it improves" waits on — is granted rather than earned in all three scenes. Collector r3 §4 shows the honest version: "the player works the rim with the cutter while the first mass gathers… it is the district's opening five minutes".
• Category: contradiction (scenes versus clauses 3 and 4), and one missing number.
• Minimal change: give pursuit range a value, or a landmark on each map (Combat asks the same); in §3.1 and §3.3 put the surveyor at the crowd's edge for the ten kills and price it in hits and time; in §3.2 kill the ten while the tram stands against the heavy and collect before it moves, or state that motes falling on the step are collected.

REV104-9 — The new panels never say which position selects which intake, or which beacon flashes (§3.1, §3.2)

• Where: contract clause 3: "Each surge enters at one intake, chosen by the district's signal line: the panel's position sets the relay's lever, and at the dispatch the chosen intake's beacon flashes." §3.2: the panel "(Rail, Gates, Off)"; "Panel found Off. Forecast: first surge at 3:00, intake yard; second at 8:00, intake yard"; at 1:00 Rail lights the tram's lamp and darkens the gates; at 3:00 "sixty walkers enter the flooded yard and walk to the nearest lit beacon, which is the tram". §3.1: the panel "(Quay, Weir, Off)"; the ground names two beacons and two docks and no intake; the bargeman: "with the panel thrown to Weir the door is live and the crowd climbs the road toward the weir; the bargeman goes up ahead of it".
• Why it fails: in the pumping district Off means no pulse and entry by the sluice; here Off shows a forecast with an intake. Rail powers the rail and the lamp — which signal line does it select, and what flashes at 3:00: the yard beacon, dark under Rail, or the tram's lamp, which would make the tram a dispatch beacon with an intake wherever it stands? Gates selects which intake? In §3.1, if the panel is on Weir at the dispatch the surge enters at the weir — the top of the flight, beside the door the bargeman wants — and the road is empty, not the crowd's; the outline needs its order (the surge in at the quay, then the switch) and the intakes drawn.
• Consequence: the district built on "a beacon that moves" does not say what the moving beacon is to the signal network; the district built on "move the crowd or the water" does not say where the crowd enters.
• Category: missing design detail, in the contract's own core.
• Minimal change: for each new district, the three-row table the pumping district has — position → powered branch → intake selected → beacon that flashes — and one sentence for the tram: a lure only, which never flashes, with the yard intake and beacon keeping the dispatch, which is the reading the 3:00 beat needs.

REV104-10 — Two sentences against the precedence (§3.3 6:00; §3.1 notebook)

• 6:00: "those ten [floaters] spread on the mole". The flats beacon is lit and stands on the mole; clause 3: a crowd spreads "only if there is none [reachable]". They walk to it — floaters walk once the flow stops, per §3.1's 8:10 — unless floaters cannot move on stone, which the diff would then have to say.
• §3.1's notebook: "the panel cannot light [the door] without lighting the road, but the coil can". The weir beacon's circuit "energises the Head", so a discharge into the Head lights the weir beacon steady for those seconds, exactly as the coil route lights B2 in the pumping district ("'the yard stays dark' is never true of a coil route"). No crowd moves — the quay is lit and nearer — but the sentence is the §1 error PMR002 caught at REV102, and the bargeman's road depends on knowing it.
• Category: contradiction (clauses 3 and 1). Minimal change: two sentences.

Minor

• §3.3's header slot count (above); the runner drawn on six cells in a nine-slot district (moot under D023).
• §3.1 uses P for the crane part; the Design Document's notation uses P for the beacon (the Campaign uses L). Say so, or change the letter.
• §6: "The critic's five findings on the thread (REV104-1 to -5) are the world designer's to close" — -2 and -4 were the lead's and the contract's, and all five are now answered as the table above records; replace the sentence with the status.
• §2.8 and §5, "The refuge as a played district", against D022 ("without a forced refuge-defence expedition"): the page already says "cut if it does not stay the same game", and D022 has provisionally cut the forced form. The next revision should say what remains — an optional home expedition, or none.
• §10.8 staffing is done (Team 26bb6f); the header's "not staffed" is stale.
• World r21 lets one clock into the colony — the dock pump's own reserve after Stop — guarded by "nothing is charged while the city's power stands". Consistent with the no-upkeep baseline because it follows the player's own act; it belongs, named, in §10.7's decision for the owner.

What holds

The diffs are the check this role pre-registered, and three districts pass it on paper: water moved, light moved, a clock the player cannot set; none makes a lamp draw, a coil select intake or an organism shed twice. The lockkeeper and bargeman, the tram crew and tow crew, the tidewatcher and runner differ in what they do, and the runner — no battery at all — is the first rack that treats charge as a thing not to carry. The discovery chains are the six-part rule applied, with the redundant forms placed in other districts (gauges ↔ timetable; gate log ↔ intake gauge), and the consequences are rules (L2 open joins the upper canal; the gates shut dry the flats for good and put the Collector a level lower — which World r21, Collector r3 and Head-works r3 now state in the same direction). §7 marks its sketches as sketches; §8 gives no hours; §9 labels its hypotheses; §10 prices its decisions. Two ledgers close, and the one that fails does so in a way the method finds.

Criteria — where the campaign stands

The whole. A map with reasons to travel and to return ✓ (§2; Districts r3 §3–§4, with returns caused, not scheduled). Early, middle and late as choices rather than numbers ✓ (§4). A colony loop without upkeep ✓ (§5; COL101's one-time refits and free departure; World r21's after-Stop clock noted above). A mystery thread with the local one's fairness ✓ (WLD103 r21; the six-part rule applied in §3). The finale as a district outcome ✓ (§2.1; World r21). Coverage and asset burden ✓ (§7). Hypotheses labelled ✓ (§9). Hours: §8 refuses a figure; Districts r3 §5 withdraws its earlier estimate and gives a beat list to attack — 34 expeditions, 8.2 hours of designed content, with overhead, deaths and hauling excluded and printed separately — which is the form this role asked for, and which stays a hypothesis wherever the owner reads it (criterion 11). Against criteria 1–11: the campaign package meets 1–10 in structure across the Campaign page and its domain pages (9's cuts and cheap alternatives in §7 and §9; 10's contradictions presented for decision in §10), and 11 in form; none is met in substance until REV104-6 to -10 are closed, and none establishes enjoyment, balance or feasibility.

The designers' pages — conflicts with the contract only

• Combat R1 (pursuit above attraction; role targets between them): the contract orders retarget-or-spread but not pursuit against attraction, and three of the Campaign's own scenes need the order (REV104-8). One line in clause 3, the lead's to rule.
• The roster: Campaign §4's four against CMB101's six, merging to eight — PMR004 §2 and PMR005 1 cover it. Districts r3 §10 places Combat's roles and names the floater as the Lock Flight's dependency; Enemies §0.1 adopts the floater "owned by Campaign". Consistent, once the Campaign page says so.
• Collector r3: on D023's cells, the first-discharge beat stated, charge spent locally on two named sinks, and its one requested contract clause now on World r21 — the only design page currently computed on PM's baseline. Its "held mass" row rightly claims no precedence change.
• Head-works r3: Slow merged into Keep; the water-level reversal corrected in the direction World r21 rules; the dry break and the feed named; its Stop row's "the way home always exists" matches r21's unpowered-return guarantee.
• Equipment and Inventory: E4's "no adjacency requirement" for links is consistent with the contract's silence — the Design Document drew every link adjacent and never required it; REV103's adjacency checks were of leaks, and stand. E3's example arithmetic (2 / 10 and 0 / 10, eleven pickups → 10 / 10 and 3 / 10) is right.
• Colony: no upkeep, one-time refits, free departure and return — inside the frame. "A legal six-slot equipment-only arrangement" predates D023; Equipment already caps issued cells at six of eight.

Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects

Whether a moving beacon reads at crowd density; the tide's clock against the forecast's; whether a short pursuit range makes the first battery too slow to earn; the bank's standing cost; whether eight hours of designed content is a length.

Finding index — where every finding lives

Superseded reviews: REV104 r1 · REV103 r5 and earlier on the REV103 archive · REV102 r6 and earlier on the REV102 archive · REV101 r8 and earlier on the REV101 archive.

PM report — REV104 r2

• Task: REV104, the expanded campaign review PMR004 made Ready. Artifact: Design Review, REV104 r2 (this page); r1 moved to the new REV104 archive verbatim.
• Reviewed: Campaign 9d3590 in full, with per-beat ledgers on §3.1–§3.3; PMR004 and PMR005; contract 69024c against Design Document ec1b6c/5f9fbb §1, §3–§5 and World 7699de; World 9aab5e diffed against 7699de; Districts 699c8e, Collector 29ece6, Head-works 999d84, Pumping District 63d451, Enemies 0822dd, Combat 1126c3, Equipment a44990, Inventory 73eb77 and Colony a1046d for conflicts with the contract.
• Changed decisions: none by this role. D022–D024 are taken as PM's provisional drafting baseline, not as owner approval.
• Evidence: the quoted sentences and the three tallies above. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact.
• Verdict: revise — REV104-6 (one beat), REV104-7 (the D023 pass, contract first), REV104-8 (a range and three beats), REV104-9 (two tables), REV104-10 (two sentences), and the four contract notes. r1's section critique stands as delivered; no whole-campaign acceptance is offered, and none follows by inference from the closures recorded above.
• Remaining risk: REV104-7's order — if the ledgers are re-run before the contract is restated under D023, they are run twice; and the Lock Flight needs a reason to be early once the third row goes.
• Next handoff: lead — REV104-6 to -10 and the contract notes on the next Campaign and contract revisions; world designer — a second form for the head-works' clue in another district; Combat — the pursuit range as a number, for the contract; PM — nothing new. I review the resulting revisions when they exist and post nothing before then except a PM correction. One exact PM request: confirm that D023's rack and priority rule are the baseline the next Campaign revision is to be computed on, so the lead re-runs the ledgers once.

REV104 r1 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV104 r2)

REV104 · r1 · 2026-09-06 16:52 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review — first critique under PMU004, of the first substantive DES104 section to arrive: WLD103 r19–r20, the campaign mystery thread, on World and Mystery r20. Tasks says REV104 may "critique available substantive sections as they arrive; no claimed future acceptance"; this does that and nothing more. REV103 is closed below: its four integration items are resolved on their owning pages, with one mirror pending. REV103 r5–r1 are on the REV103 archive; REV102 r6–r1 on the REV102 archive; REV101 r8–r1 on the REV101 archive; every revision is in page history (REV103 r5 205bfb · r4 711ef4 · … · REV101 r1 7ad187).

What was reviewed

REV103 — closed

All four integration items are resolved on their owning pages; each correction was read, not inferred.

Three pointers in REV103 r5 retracted. The Expansion Prompts page, and the Cutter, Equipment, Enemies and Colony pages, all exist; PM created them within minutes of that check, mid-rollout — the same error the editor made and withdrew, and the same lesson ("do not flag a gap in the middle of somebody's rollout"). Hub and Tasks now carry the expanded scope. Nothing remains of those three lines.

REV104 r1 — the campaign mystery thread (WLD103 r19–r20), against the pre-registered criteria

Verdict on this section: it meets the mystery criteria in structure and is the right template for the campaign; five sentences are needed before Campaign builds districts on it, one of them load-bearing. This is a critique of a contribution, not of DES104, which does not yet exist.

What works, and why

• The campaign question grows out of the answered local one. The finale's answer — a drum turned by flowing water — leaves one observable the player has already seen: after opening R, "the thin cable that enters the relay room from outside the district still pulses on the old cadence." That is a campaign clue that costs nothing new and reframes shut/fix/hold as local outcomes, exactly as the Expansion Brief asks. Evidence changes a later action: the door to the campaign is a stopped drum that still hears time.
• The six-part per-district rule is the false-refuge chain generalised, and it carries this role's watchlist by construction: a local question with a fair chain and no item gates; one campaign clue as an inspectable stable object; what travels is a fact and a convention, never an item; one later action enabled; redundancy — every campaign clue in two districts — as the answer for missed clues; a consequence stated as a rule. "Or the district is a key hunt" is the right test.
• The fixed contract and the may-add list are the shared-rule contract the mechanics page demands, written by the person who owns the rules it protects: W1–W4 with precedence and the beacon definition, the light convention, the two cables, the flowing-water relay, S1–S3 fixed; new devices, topology, signal sources and beacon variants allowed with a readable signal; "may not change what power, signal or a beacon means, or make an ordinary lamp draw the Flood."
• The evolving-hypotheses table makes fairness checkable stage by stage — each wrong belief a reasonable reading, each overturned by something seen — and gives the early-stop answer at campaign scale.
• Two candidate answers with their content costs, held for the owner, and an honest risk list (the routing bank may dominate; the collector brushes clause 4; Answer B adds a presence). No new machine family is claimed.

The findings

REV104-1 — What a local dispatch requires is stated three incompatible ways (load-bearing).

• Where: World r18: "the relay is the district's one source of signal, a drum turned by the race"; the drum's contact "makes the pulse". WLD103: after R is opened "the drum stops, local dispatches stop, and the thin cable that enters the relay room from outside… still pulses" (dispatch needs the drum); the Exchange's routing bank: "a district whose position is dark gets no announced surge until the player returns" (dispatch needs the trunk pulse); "the district relays are one network, kept in time from somewhere upstream" (the trunk keeps time). The hypotheses table's fifth row overturns "each district's relay is its own clock" — yet r18 says the pumping district's relay is its own clock, turned by its own race.
• Why it fails: the three behaviours are jointly consistent only if a local dispatch needs both the local drum's contact and a live trunk pulse — and that makes the trunk a second source, which r18's "one source" denies. As written, a reader cannot tell what the exchange's bank does to a district whose drum still turns.
• Consequence: the campaign's central lever and its first clue both rest on this sentence.
• Category: contradiction (r18 versus r19), within the contract the page itself declares fixed.
• Minimal change: one sentence in the fixed contract: "A district dispatches when its drum's contact closes and the trunk is carrying time; the drum makes the moment, the trunk permits it. Shut stops the drum; a dark bank position withholds the trunk; either alone stops announced surges." Then the fifth hypothesis row reads "each relay keeps its own time" → "each relay is permitted by upstream".

REV104-2 — The Collector's meters against clause 4 (the page's own flag). "Charge never leaves the district" (clause 4) versus "this district's meters read what the player's rack reads: charge" taken from the mass "as it passes". The page asks the lead to resolve it as "never leaves with the player" or drop it. Agree; the rewording is one clause of clause 4 and belongs in the contract before any collector is designed. Category: contract conflict, self-reported.

REV104-3 — A delayed first surge against W1. "Closing a district's collector gate delays that district's first surge on the next visit." W1 says the beacon on the selected line flashes at dispatch "and the surge enters there." If the collector is empty, the drum still ticks and the beacon flashes with nothing behind it — which W1 currently forbids and which would otherwise be a fine clue ("the flash came; nothing came with it"). Minimal change: one clause in W1 — "a surge enters there if the collector supplies one" — and a line in the light convention for the empty flash. Category: missing design detail.

REV104-4 — The contract never says what powers the district's circuit. The panel switches "the district's one live circuit"; the coil injects; the relay is now hydraulic; but the source of the fixed power that lights beacons and opens hatches is unstated anywhere in the Design Document or on this page. Answer A supplies one — the city runs on harvested Flood charge, so shutting the head-works "turns off every powered door and pump in the city, including the colony's" — Answer B leaves it open. Either way the contract should state the source, or name it as part of the campaign question; a campaign about power cannot leave the grid unexplained. Category: missing design detail (contract completeness).

REV104-5 — The routing bank is Finding 2 at campaign scale; price it by rule, and say what "dark" means. The bank chooses "which district receives the next trunk pulse"; a dark district "gets no announced surge until the player returns". The page rightly flags dominance. Two sentences settle it: (a) a dark position puts a district into the Shut regime the endings table already defines — unannounced trickles that grow, a dark forecast — so "no announced surge" is never read as "no surge"; (b) the bank's price, stated as a rule before Campaign builds on it, as the panel's five-part price was: the pumping district's panel is free because lighting a branch opens its door and invites the surge there; the bank needs the same coupling (what does choosing a district give the player there, that makes withholding it a cost?). Category: missing design detail; future empirical uncertainty for the magnitude.

Minor

• Rule 5 (every campaign clue in two districts) is met for the exchange and the collector; the head-works' clue ("who oiled this?") is named only there. Its redundant form should be stated.
• The Shut regime's "trickles" and the collector's "cycled, not spawned" are the first statements of where surges come from; the contract should carry one sentence on it, since three districts now depend on it.

Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects

The bank's dominance once priced; the collector-gate cost; the cadence readability across districts; whether Answer B's presence changes the enemy identity the owner wants.

Finding index — where every finding lives

Superseded reviews: REV103 r5 · r4 · r3 · r2 · r1 · REV102 r6 and earlier on the REV102 archive · REV101 r8 and earlier on the REV101 archive.

PM report — REV104 r1

• Task: REV104 (first critique of an available substantive section, per Tasks); REV103 closed. Artifact: Design Review, REV104 r1 (this page); REV103 r5 moved to the REV103 archive verbatim.
• Reviewed: World and Mystery 7699de in full (r18–r20 diffed against r17); Design Document ec1b6c diffed against 50046f, §13 re-tallied; PMU004's Brief, Tasks, Team, Hub and PM Reviews changes.
• Changed decisions: none by this role. Three of its own r5 pointers retracted as mid-rollout errors.
• Evidence: the quoted corrections; the tally; the quoted WLD103 sentences read against r18 and W1. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact.
• Remaining risk: REV104-1 is the sentence the campaign's lever and first clue both rest on; it should be fixed before any district is designed around the exchange.
• Next handoff: world designer — REV104-1, -3, -5 in the fixed contract; lead — REV104-2 (clause 4) and -4, and §11's mirror of r18; PM — nothing new. I critique the next substantive DES104 section as it arrives and post nothing between sections except a PM correction. One exact PM request: none.