Commit dcd90e

2026-09-06 19:16:25 Anonymous: REV103 r3: review of DES103 r6 (Design Document r12, 50840d) against PMR003; REV103-1, -5 resolved (corrections quoted); REV103-2 rule fixed but scene still off by one unit at the discharge threshold (9/9 not 10/8 under most-room rule); REV103-6 stun/arrival/burst timing (PMR003 1d), -7 finale valves/supply/coil-route crowds/workshop (PMR003 2, world page first), -8 stale wording (PMR003 3); r12 routing-split statement checked and accurate; verdict revise; r2 moved to Archive/REV103
hold the flood/design review.md ..
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# Hold the Flood — Design Review
- **REV103 · r2 · 2026-09-06 16:12 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — review of **DES103 r4, the Design Document at revision r10**, which was written against PMR002's closing review, World r16 and REV102 r5/r6 — three minutes before REV103 r1 existed — and so resolves two of r1's four items on its own and leaves two. Present-tense, revision-specific, on the same ledgers. REV103 r1 is on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV103 r1 285925 · REV102 r6 538724 · … · REV101 r1 7ad187).
+ **REV103 · r3 · 2026-09-06 16:20 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — review of **DES103 r6, the Design Document at revision r12** (r11 in history), the newest exact revision, against PMR003 and PMR002 and criteria 1–11, on the per-beat ledgers. PMR003 made REV103 Ready and asked that findings be closed only after reading their corrections; each closure below quotes the correction. REV103 r2–r1 are on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV103 r2 3ff337 · r1 285925 · REV102 r6 538724 · … · REV101 r1 7ad187).
## What was reviewed
| Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note |
| --- | --- | --- | --- |
- | **Design Document — DES103 r4 (document r10)** | 8afa59 (r9 fb6b6d) | 15:54 | Diffed against r9. §12 and §13 are byte-identical to r9, so REV103 r1's ledgers apply unchanged. New: §11 mirrors World r16; owner page and §16 sentences corrected; battery glossary entry; two-battery electrician drawn with a new "a module accepts one link" rule; PM's vertical-coil arrangement added; burst nominal = actual |
- | PM Reviews — PMR002 completed checkpoint | 6e8d12 | 15:53 | Processed snapshots recorded; "exact-revision REV103" prioritised; nothing new assigned |
- | Clarity Questions — Q41 | e183b1 | 15:55 | Licence codes in §14 as if interchangeable; verified below |
- | Tasks ab97dc, Brief 28fb1c, World and Mystery 812fd6 | unchanged | | |
+ | **Design Document — DES103 r6 (document r12)**; r5 (r11) | 50840d; 6fe6ca | 16:05; 16:04 | r11 written against REV103 r1 and Clarity Q41; r12 adds the team's routing split to §4 and decision 3 (Clarity Q42). Neither read PMR003, which landed after them. Diffed against r10; §12 and §13 re-tallied |
+ | **PM Reviews — PMR003**; Tasks; Hub | e71669 / [PMR003](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Pm%20Reviews/Pmr003); 6e92d0; eea8e7 | 16:05–16:09 | Verdict on r10: revisions still required (ledgers, stun/burst timing, finale's valves and supply, stale wording). REV103 Ready. REV102 r6 recorded as delivered |
+ | World and Mystery — r16 | 812fd6 | unchanged | PMR003 2 asks World for the valves' positions and success condition, the relay's supply versus the door's, and the Shut/workshop reconciliation |
+ | Brief 28fb1c, Team cbf8d7 | unchanged | | |
- ## Verdict — **revise: one short pass; three sentences and two ledger cells**
+ ## Verdict — **revise: PMR003's remaining corrections, plus one unit**
- r10 resolves REV103-3 and every part of REV103-4 without having read them, because the same corrections came from the world designer and PM. What remains is the two items whose text r10 did not touch — one leftover sentence and one rule its own examples disobey, which r10 has now made load-bearing — plus one criterion-8 sentence the reader is right about. Each is a line. The document's rules, scenes and finale otherwise hold under the ledgers; nothing here is a rule change. No verdict is offered on r11 before it exists.
+ r11 and r12 resolve REV103-1, -3, -4 and -5 on the page and rewrite the collection rule as asked. They could not read PMR003, so its remaining corrections 1d, 2 and 3 are still present in r12; and the re-tallied scene disobeys the rewritten collection rule by one unit, at the one place a unit matters — the discharge threshold. All items are small; two belong to the world designer. No verdict is offered on r13 before it exists.
- ## REV103 r1 items against r10
+ ## REV103 r2 items against r12, with their corrections quoted
- | Item | Where in r10 | Status |
+ | Item | Correction in r12 | Verified |
| --- | --- | --- |
- | **REV103-1** — §12's leftover sentence; two ledger cells | §12 (line 340): "Rack now: coil, battery, three bundles, one slot empty, and one drip, because a bundle touches the battery." still follows the corrected text; the 9:00 kills' motes are still absent from the ledger; the 5:00–7:30 drip timing is unchanged | **Open** — unchanged from r9 |
- | **REV103-2** — the collection rule versus both scenes | §5 (line 144): "A collected mote goes to the linked battery with the most room" unchanged; §13 3:00 still collects into an unlinked battery; §13 6:00 still fills the fuller battery first. **New in r10:** §6's profitable electrician `S C C / I B B` — "a module accepts one link, so the second battery is storage until it is relinked to the coil in a shelter." Under the collection rule as written, an unlinked battery collects nothing, so the storage battery cannot store: the loadout r10 draws to show the profit cannot make one | **Open, and now load-bearing** |
- | **REV103-3** — §11's Fix ending vs World r16 and §4 | §11 now "the world designer's (their revision r16…); their page owns it and this section mirrors it": reaching the room, inside the room, each ending; "the clamp fixes the signal cable only, so the panel's power positions still work… and no door is open or shut forever" | **Resolved** |
- | **REV103-4** — three stale sentences | Owner page: "This document has been reviewed by an independent critic and by PM, and revisions remain open; no review is evidence that it is fun, balanced or saleable." §16: the External Critic "a member since Brief D015… PM has since disposed of it". Appendix A: "**Battery:** the one-slot module that stores charge, ten units; it powers the one module it is linked to, and leaks into any wet bundle it touches" | **Resolved** |
+ | **REV103-1** — §12's leftover sentence; two ledger cells | The sentence is gone. "Straight after, on the far bank below the platform, the player finds a third deposit and drops the bundle into the empty slot… three drips show; the two units are gone in under a minute." 9:00: "The cutter takes two, and their two motes go into the empty battery and leak away again through the three bundles before the dock." Ledger rows 5:30 and 9:00 added; 9:40 "expired by leak 4" | **Resolved.** Re-tallied: 5/6 → 6/6; one drip then three; 2 + 2 dropped, 4 expired, 0 stored, 0 spent |
+ | **REV103-2** — the collection rule versus the scenes | §5: "A collected mote goes to the battery with the most room, linked or not, and to the battery placed earlier when rooms are equal." §13 re-tallied: "kills sixteen… by the collection rule they go to whichever battery has more room, so the two fill together: the coil's battery from two to ten, the arc's from nothing to eight" | **Rule resolved; scene still disobeys it by one unit** — see REV103-2 below |
+ | **REV103-3, -4** | Resolved at r10 (REV103 r2) | — |
+ | **REV103-5** — licences as interchangeable | §14: "'free' is not one thing: a CC0 dedication imposes no conditions; a BY licence requires credit; a share-alike licence attaches its own terms to anything made from the asset; a no-derivatives licence forbids adapting it at all; and tinting or resizing a sprite… is an adaptation, so each asset's own licence… decides whether that cheap route is allowed"; REF104 cited; coverage gap: "a free pack whose licence permits adaptation (CC0 does; a no-derivatives licence would not)" | **Resolved** |
- ## The new rack drawings, checked by adjacency
+ ## The findings
- - **PM's vertical-coil arrangement** `S C B / S C S`, link B→C: the battery at (1,3) touches the coil and the lower-right bundle only; the two left bundles touch the coil's housing and each other and never reach the battery. **One drip, as stated.** Three bundles with no drip is indeed impossible: with the coil vertical, the battery's remaining neighbour is a bundle in every placement.
- - **The two-battery electrician** `S C C / I B B`, link lower-right B→C: the linked battery touches the coil and the storage battery; the storage battery touches the coil and the insulation; the one bundle touches the coil and the insulation. **No leak, as stated.** Its purpose fails only for the reason in REV103-2.
- - The harvester and arc hauler are unchanged from r9 and still leak-free.
+ ### REV103-2 (residual) — The scene alternates from the start; the rule fills the emptier battery first
- ## One new item
+ - **Where:** §5's rule (quoted above) versus §13 at 3:00 ("Two stragglers, two motes, collected into the first battery") and 6:00–7:30 ("the two fill together: the coil's battery from two to ten, the arc's from nothing to eight"), and everything downstream (7:50 "the arc's stays at eight"; 8:00 "the arc's takes two to reach full; eighteen expire").
+ - **The tally under the rule as written.** At 3:00 both batteries are empty and in the rack (the second was found at 1:30); the first mote goes to the earlier-placed battery by the tie rule, the second to the other, which now has more room: **1 / 1, not 2 / 0.** At 6:00 sixteen motes from 1 / 1 alternate, earlier battery first: **9 / 9.** (Taking the document's own 2 / 0 start instead: the first two motes go to the arc's battery, which has more room, and the rest alternate: **9 / 9** again.) Either way the coil's battery stands at nine at 7:50, and §8 says "A discharge needs a full battery and spends it." The scene's discharge cannot happen as written.
+ - **Why it matters:** one unit, but it sits on the threshold that gates the signature payoff, and PMR003 1c is exactly "battery-fill priority versus the ledger". The lead applied strict alternation; the rule says most room first.
+ - **Category:** contradiction (rule versus its own example).
+ - **Minimal change:** seventeen kills instead of sixteen (from 1 / 1: 10 / 9; then 7:50 harvest of ten → 10 / 9; 8:00 harvest of thirty → the coil's takes ten, the arc's takes one, nineteen expire), and the 3:00 sentence to "one into each battery". Or keep sixteen and have the player pick up one straggler's mote on the way to the hall. The ledger rows change with it.
- ### REV103-5 — §14 offers five licences as one route while decision 2 proposes an adaptation (Clarity Q41, verified)
+ ### REV103-6 — Stun, surge arrival and burst do not fit the stated timings (PMR003 1d, verified)
- - **Where:** §14: OpenGameArt's assets "are offered under one of CC0, CC-BY 3.0/4.0, CC-BY-SA 3.0/4.0, OGA-BY 3.0/4.0 or GPL 2.0/3.0… each asset carries its own uploader-chosen licence." §17 decision 2: a humanoid Flood "tinted and size-varied from a free pack, the enemy would be covered at no cost." Most rows of §14's table read "not yet selected" with OpenGameArt the standing candidate; the one named pack (Kenney's Top-down Shooter, CC0, checked by the lead and by PM) is fine.
- - **Why it fails:** tinting and resizing is an adaptation. Of the five licences listed, share-alike terms attach conditions to what is made from the asset and no-derivatives terms forbid the operation; CC0 alone means "no strings". The document is accurate about the source and careful about the one pack, but tells the owner "at no cost" for a route whose licence is chosen per asset by whoever uploaded it. Brief D009 requires "each asset's actual source, creator, terms, and intended use recorded", and criterion 8 says terms "must not be invented" — they are not invented here, but they are not yet a decision either.
- - **Consequence:** small now, real at the moment anything is selected; and it sits inside the one owner decision that mentions cost.
- - **Category:** missing design detail (criterion 8).
- - **Minimal change:** one sentence in §14 or decision 2: "the free route means CC0-licensed assets, or an asset whose recorded licence permits adaptation; share-alike or no-derivative terms would constrain or forbid the tint-and-resize route." The team's Reference Researcher has since started an asset-licence page (REF104); §14 can point at it rather than restate it.
+ - **Where:** §3: a surge is "forty to a hundred and forty organisms arriving over half a minute". §13 7:50: "stunned for eight seconds". 8:00: "The second dispatch… into the channel… discharges again into the fresh surge: about sixty of them are in the water." 8:20: "The burst. **The stunned surge** is packed in the doorway and the channel mouth… for ten seconds."
+ - **Why it fails:** at 8:00 the dispatch has just fired and the surge arrives over the next thirty seconds, so "about sixty in the water" at 8:00 is thirty seconds early; and a crowd stunned at 8:00 for eight seconds is not "the stunned surge" at 8:20, twelve seconds after it recovered. The ten-second burst also cannot sit inside an eight-second stun, so the burst is either into a recovering crowd or the stun is longer; the document should say which.
+ - **Consequence:** the sequence that demonstrates the genre's payoff is not one a reader can follow on the clock the document set.
+ - **Category:** contradiction (timing).
+ - **Minimal change:** one consistent sequence with times: dispatch 8:00; the channel fills by about 8:30; discharge at 8:30, stun to 8:38; burst 8:30–8:40 into a crowd stunned for its first eight seconds and recovering for its last two — or lengthen the stun and say so. Note that intended kills are a proposal, as PMR003 says.
- ## A note, not a finding: length
+ ### REV103-7 — The finale's causal explanation, three gaps (PMR003 2, verified on r12 and World r16)
- r10 is about nineteen thousand words; the owner page is one. The Tasks criteria judge specificity and coherence, not length, and the owner is told where to read. But the state tables and ledgers that made this review possible are review apparatus: for the owner's copy they belong in an appendix beside the bookkeeping, with §12 and §13 kept as prose. That is the lead's call under "concise pitch plus supporting detail"; it is recorded here because the editor has reported the growth to the lead and PM and this role agrees the owner should not have to read the tallies to read the game.
+ - **Valves:** §11 "set the three valves as the note says" — positions, starting states and the success condition are not stated; if only connectivity matters, say so rather than imply an order.
+ - **Supply:** the relay "works only while its channel carries current" and runs all expedition, yet the room's door is "on the sluice's own circuit, dead"; the drain valve "sits shut on the sluice-head channel that feeds the relay". Which channel feeds the relay, which feeds the door, and how opening the drain stops dispatch while beacons, doors and the panel keep working, is not stated.
+ - **Crowd targets on the coil-access route:** §11 "every crowd with a lit beacon to reach holds at the yard's" is true of the panel-to-yard route only; on the coil-in-the-pool route the panel is on causeway and the causeway's crowd stays at its nearer lit beacon, by §4's own precedence.
+ - **Shut / workshop:** World r16's Shut row says "the workshop and the forecast relay repair are spent"; §11's mirror says only "the forecast relay repair is spent" — the workshop's starting module remains useful under Shut, so the world page's clause needs removing or justifying. The mirror rule (§11 mirrors the world page) means this is fixed on the world page first.
+ - **Category:** missing design detail (World + Lead).
+ - **Minimal change:** one small table on the world page (three valves: start, required, success cue), one sentence on the two supplies and what the drain cuts, one clause on the coil route's crowds, and the workshop word; §11 then lifts them.
+
+ ### REV103-8 — Superseded live wording (PMR003 3, verified)
+
+ - §1: "anything that **can see** it and has no nearer light" — the rule is "can reach"; the sight model is the alternative.
+ - Appendix B, PM report: still ends "One PM request: rule on the routing model… and say whether the alternative still goes to the owner as a decision" — ruled at D016 and answered; and "the independent critic's verdict on r3 is ready for owner review" — withdrawn at REV102 r6.
+ - **Category:** housekeeping (criterion 10).
+ - **Minimal change:** two edits; historical revisions stay in history.
+
+ ## The new fact in r12, checked
+
+ §4 and decision 3 now tell the owner the team is split on the routing model: the World and Mystery Designer prefers the sight-limited alternative (their page, r14 onward), the Independent Design Critic prefers the written model (REV102 r2), PM chose the written one for drafting (D016). That states this role's position correctly, labelled as a preference, and it belongs in front of the owner. No objection.
+
+ ## What holds in r12
+
+ Everything PMR003 lists under "progress to retain", re-checked: the precedence and the indicator rule; the §1 state table; the failed experiment with an untargeted crowd; the drawn arc loadouts and the fuel policy; the hauler's honest cost; retrieval needing two free slots; the profitable electrician's legal layout (still leak-free, and now able to store, since collection is "linked or not"); the finale's machinery and endings; the honest length; the battery entry. Expedition one now closes to the unit throughout.
## Finding index — where every finding lives
- Superseded reviews: [REV103 r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r2) · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive.
+ Superseded reviews: [REV103 r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r2) · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive.
| Finding | Raised in | Status |
| --- | --- | --- |
| REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13 | REV101, REV102 | Resolved, closed, or delivered |
- | PMR002 1, 2, 3, 4 | PM | Met in r10 (2 with REV103-1, -2) |
- | **REV103-1** — §12's leftover sentence; two ledger cells | REV103 r1 | **Open** |
- | **REV103-2** — collection rule vs both scenes; now also vs the storage battery | REV103 r1 | **Open** |
- | REV103-3 — §11 endings | REV103 r1 | **Resolved at r10** |
- | REV103-4 — three stale sentences | REV103 r1 | **Resolved at r10** |
- | **REV103-5** — licences listed as interchangeable; adaptation route "at no cost" | REV103 r2 (Q41) | **Open** |
-
- ## PM report — REV103 r2
-
- - **Task:** REV103. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV103 r2 (this page); r1 moved to the new REV103 archive verbatim.
- - **Reviewed:** Design Document 8afa59 in full, diffed against fb6b6d; PM Reviews 6e8d12; Clarity e183b1. §12/§13 confirmed byte-identical to r9, so r1's ledgers stand; r10's two new racks checked by adjacency.
+ | PMR002 1, 2, 4 | PM | Met (2 with REV103-2, -6) |
+ | PMR002 3 / PMR003 2 (finale) | PM | Met in structure; REV103-7 remains |
+ | REV103-1, -3, -4, -5 | REV103 r1–r2 | **Resolved at r10–r12** (corrections quoted above) |
+ | **REV103-2** (residual) — the scene alternates; the rule fills the emptier battery first; one unit at the discharge threshold | REV103 r1, r3 | **Open** |
+ | **REV103-6** — stun, arrival and burst timing (PMR003 1d) | REV103 r3 | **Open** |
+ | **REV103-7** — finale: valves, supplies, coil-route crowds, workshop (PMR003 2) | REV103 r3 | **Open** — World first, then §11 |
+ | **REV103-8** — "can see"; stale PM request in Appendix B (PMR003 3) | REV103 r3 | **Open** |
+
+ ## PM report — REV103 r3
+
+ - **Task:** REV103 (Ready per PMR003). **Artifact:** Design Review, REV103 r3 (this page); r2 moved to the REV103 archive verbatim.
+ - **Reviewed:** Design Document 50840d in full, diffed against 8afa59 (r11 6fe6ca via the same diff); PMR003 in full; Tasks 6e92d0. §12 and §13 re-tallied under r12's own rules; every closed item's correction quoted.
- **Changed decisions:** none by this role.
- - **Evidence:** the ledgers in REV103 r1 (archived); the quoted lines. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact.
- - **Verdict:** revise — one short pass: delete one sentence and add two ledger cells (REV103-1); one sentence making the collection rule and the scenes agree, which also rescues r10's storage battery (REV103-2); one sentence on what "free" means for an adapted asset (REV103-5). Then the document is, on the evidence of what r10 already does, the artifact for the owner — a judgment this role will make on r11, not now.
- - **Remaining risk:** none beyond the three lines; the pages agree on the finale by construction now that §11 mirrors the world page.
- - **Next handoff:** lead — r11 with REV103-1, -2, -5. I review r11 when it exists and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** none.
+ - **Evidence:** the tallies above (both the document's 2 / 0 start and the rule-derived 1 / 1 start reach 9 / 9); the quoted timing sentences; the quoted finale sentences on both pages. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact.
+ - **Verdict:** revise — REV103-2 (one kill, or one mote), -6 (one timed sequence), -7 (a small table and three sentences, on the world page first), -8 (two edits). These are PMR003's remaining corrections with the unit added; r12 has done everything else PMR002/PMR003 asked.
+ - **Remaining risk:** the finale's supply question is the only item that could turn out to be a design change rather than a sentence; it is the world designer's to answer.
+ - **Next handoff:** world designer — REV103-7's four items on their page; lead — REV103-2, -6, -8 and the §11 lift. I review the resulting revision when it exists and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** none; PMR003's handoffs already say this.
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