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| - | # Hold the Flood — Design Review |
| - | |
| - | **REV107 · r1 · 2026-09-07 12:43 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — the review of the owner-set premise and of the Visionary's first station design under it. Object: Brief 4eb748, "Game vision" (the owner's premise as PM recorded it at ab030a, 12:29 UTC: the arrival, the five facts, the experience, the open decisions, scope) and "Visionary working design — first sortie and two portable builds" (added at 4eb748, 12:34 UTC). Assignment: Tasks c46f17, the reviewers' row: "Review actual station integration when submitted. Check premise fidelity, horde/build agency, oxygen UX versus deliberate uncertainty, fair deduction and human purpose. Challenge grind, instant reset exploits and unsupported scope without inventing playtest outcomes. Prior positive verdicts concern older proposals, not this design." The Visionary's working design is the first station integration submitted; the lead's integrated first-sortie design is due and not yet on the wiki. Read with it: PM Reviews 2d2807 ("Owner premise adopted" and "Owner correction"); Team 59ccb9; Equipment 579de8 and Build Paths dd4746 (Equipment's two-path proof, written against the owner's correction before the premise arrived); Combat 5d324c (section 0C, R14; section 12 as at 251669); the contract 5fc399 (r11, R14 adopted); Clarity 93c7a4 (the Reader's verdict on the premise); External Critique c081e8 (X38, on the superseded proposal); the project room through message 65 (the owner's correction as PM's 57; the premise as PM's 63; the Visionary's setting-neutral pass as 65, superseded by 4eb748). **Accumulated context, disclosed:** this role has read every revision since REV101 and the room since it opened; nothing here is a newcomer's reading. Format as at 32433c: findings with exact revisions, no status blocks. REV106 r3–r1 are on the [REV106 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV106); REV105 on the [REV105 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105); REV104 on the [REV104 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104); REV103 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive). |
| - | |
| - | ## REV106, closed by owner direction |
| - | |
| - | The owner's correction (Brief 51e58b and b9766b; PM's message 57) and the owner-set premise (Brief ab030a; PM's message 63) supersede "The World Below". REV106-8 (the Choir Cascade's rule in three versions) and REV106-9 (the lift's ordering) are moot: the Brief's scope section now says "The drowned city, Hearth/furnace story, Bell House, Choir network and prior neutral clinic expedition are not the canonical setting or progression", and the Visionary's retire list names "Choir as a room-specific build proof" and "encoded songs". They are closed as moot, not as fixed, and nothing in REV106 is polished. What REV106 found and the team repaired, the plain first goal, the fair chain, the placed credits, the honest refusal of hours, and the failure shape it kept finding, one rule written in several versions on pages with different owners, are carried into the criteria below as tests, not as claims about the new design. |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict: revise — two findings before the lead's integration builds on this design |
| - | |
| - | The Visionary's working design honours the owner's five facts and the owner's do-nots on the text: oxygen is finite away from the ship and free aboard it, with the rate, the refill and the return reserve displayed; the horde "enters in a continuous, visibly escalating mass rather than waiting in puzzle rooms"; both deaths wake the astronaut aboard the ship and the reason "remain[s a] mystery"; the survivor launched to the ship "remains aboard even if the astronaut dies afterward"; two scripts have two jobs and neither is a cipher. The first goal is plain, the survivor's rescue is priced in the one resource the player most needs, both builds add up on the rack with the coupler aboard, and the return changes a person and a lead. That is what works, and it is most of what the reviewers' row asks. |
| - | |
| - | What fails: **REV107-1**, the flagship path's payoff is written as a portable screen wipe on the Brief while the two roles that own damage and equipment wrote, the same day, that no stunned-body execution exists outside the Choir network, so the design's answer to the owner's correction rests on a rule its owners have not given; **REV107-2**, death costs nothing to a player carrying nothing, so the design's own repeated question has a third answer it does not price, which is the owner's open decision on death and persistence and the "instant reset" the reviewers were asked to challenge; **REV107-3**, the charge both builds run on has no station reason, which is the line between reusing an interaction and renaming old machinery. Two minor items follow (REV107-4, -5). |
| - | |
| - | ## Criteria for the station premise, stated now and applied below |
| - | |
| - | From the five facts, the owner's open decisions and Tasks c46f17, each with the test this role runs: |
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| - | 1. **Premise fidelity.** The five facts present as written and the do-nots respected: no explanation of revival, no unlimited portable oxygen, no assumed survivor reset or permadeath, no song cipher under another name, no drowned machinery renamed. Test: each fact quoted from the design; each retained mechanic asked what it is on the station, not what it was in the city. |
| - | 2. **A clear first goal.** Retold in one sentence without the glossary; survival information readable while the mystery is not. Test: the goal, the oxygen display and the death causes quoted. |
| - | 3. **Oxygen as a readable constraint against deliberate uncertainty.** The rate, the refill and the return reserve displayed; the unknown confined to the station, not to the numbers; oxygen competing for carrying space. Test: what the player can see before each decision; whether the ship's free production leaks into the sortie. |
| - | 4. **Horde and build agency in ordinary play.** Two materially different builds through the same objective, each with acquisition, an intermediate choice, a payoff, a weakness and a ledger that adds up with the cargo aboard; the payoff a rule its owners have given; routing as support. Test: the cell count with the objective's cargo; the charge count with the clock where a rate exists; what each build buys for the objective. |
| - | 5. **Death and persistence without a free reset.** What each death costs and keeps, stated; a cost that applies whatever the rack holds; no grind through refills or repeated solved routes. Test: the empty-rack scout. |
| - | 6. **Fair deduction.** At least one language clue chain with an observable clue, a fair inference, a free test and recovery from a wrong reading; two languages with distinct jobs; survivors helping without translating. Test: the four parts quoted. |
| - | 7. **Human purpose.** A rescue with a visible cost and a person who changes the ship and the next lead; authored, not procedural; no upkeep. Test: one thing done for a named person and one change that person shows. |
| - | 8. **Ambition separated from content.** Hours as milestones, not measured duration; no deck quota; the content behind the first sortie named as kinds. Test: whether any page asserts hours or fills them. |
| - | |
| - | | Criterion | The design's text (Brief 4eb748) | Result | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | 1. Fidelity | "Running out causes a clearly identified hypoxia death. Damage death is identified separately; both wake the astronaut aboard the ship"; "the reason death returns the astronaut to the ship remain mysteries"; "Once launched, that survivor remains aboard even if the astronaut dies afterward"; "The first fair language discovery is practical, not a cipher" | **Passes on the facts.** One retained mechanic has no station reason yet, the charge the builds run on (REV107-3); the rest of the retained vocabulary (the rack, Kit, salvage, Heavy, Crust) is named provisional and is the owner's to allow ("Existing fixed-damage, water-only, rack-size and catalogue restrictions are prior proposals, not owner limits") | |
| - | | 2. First goal | "The current goal is plain: retrieve the coupler and return to the ship. The survivor is a visible optional rescue, not a surprise fail condition" | **Passes.** Retold: get the two-cell flight coupler from the Dock Service Hub and bring it back to the ship before the air runs out; there is someone alive in a booth beside it | |
| - | | 3. Oxygen | "oxygen drains at a steady displayed rate. A one-cell station canister refills a fixed displayed amount and is consumed; taking one sacrifices component, salvage or return capacity. The HUD marks the estimated direct-route return reserve without pretending unknown rooms are safe"; "The suit's main oxygen tank is filled freely aboard the ship and does not occupy the equipment rack" | **Passes.** Readable at every decision; the unknown is the rooms, not the numbers; a canister costs a cell, so oxygen competes with the build and the cargo, which is the owner's enthusiasm applied to the owner's constraint. No rate is given, so no clock can be tallied yet; the design says so | |
| - | | 4. Builds | The two paths, tabled; "Both can solve the Hub, both develop during ordinary horde play, and both remain useful on later station decks. Neither is a key for one room" | **Passes on the rack, fails on the rule.** Ledger with the coupler aboard: storm, Coil 2 + Arc 1 + two Batteries 2 + coupler 2 = 7 of 8, "the final cell is an oxygen canister, Kit or salvage—never all three"; lure, Beacon 1 + Driver's brace 1 + Battery 1 + coupler 2 = 5 of 8, three free. Both add up; the Driver in the cradle and its one-cell brace is contract section 5's rule for an alternative primary. The storm path's payoff is the disputed rule (REV107-1) | |
| - | | 5. Death | "Carried components, salvage and the coupler drop at the death location; opened routes, scanned patterns and survivors already launched to the ship remain" | **Fails for the empty rack** (REV107-2) | |
| - | | 6. Deduction | "Angular control script repeats beside air seals, vents and service benches; each symbol is paired with a visible machine state, so a safe bench lets the player infer 'seal' before risking it at an airlock. That observation is recorded as a hypothesis and works anywhere the symbol recurs"; "A visually distinct witness language appears on personal objects and memorial surfaces; it carries names, testimony and history, never basic control instructions" | **Passes in three parts of four.** Observable (a symbol beside a state), inferable (seal), freely testable (the bench before the airlock); recovery from a wrong reading is not written (REV107-4). The two jobs are distinct, and the survivor "recognizes that the scripts serve different purposes but cannot translate the second one completely", which is the owner's "partial understanding" | |
| - | | 7. Purpose | "The player may leave them safely in the booth and return later, or spend one found oxygen canister to pressurize and launch the capsule to the ship"; "The rescued person occupies a real cabin, speaks about the station as lived experience and changes the next lead" | **Passes.** The rescue costs the thing the player is short of; the person changes the ship and the lead. The person has no name yet, which is Colony's row on Tasks, not a failure of this text | |
| - | | 8. Ambition | The scope section: "desired milestones, not measured duration, proven feasibility or permission to fill time with oxygen refills, grinding or repeated solved routes. No district/deck count is fixed" | **Passes as separation.** The content behind the first sortie is the lead's and Campaign's due delivery; nothing here asserts hours | |
| - | |
| - | ## Findings |
| - | |
| - | **REV107-1 — the storm path's payoff is a portable screen wipe on the Brief and a four-hit multiplier on the pages that own the rule.** Where: Brief 4eb748, "The same coupler objective, two materially different builds", the Portable storm row: "Coil creates a short induction field centered on the astronaut. Firing Arc during Coil's two-second stun window empties both full banks and gives each stunned ordinary body in the field one lethal strike. It works in any room; conductive flooring may enlarge the field but is not required"; "The reward is a portable screen wipe and clear escape window." Against it, the same day: Build Paths dd4746 (Equipment's proof of the same two paths against the owner's correction), Path A: "every direct Cutter hit can add ordinary Cutter contributions to at most three nearby eligible bodies under Arc fc64bb; no stunned-body execution exists. The result is a portable jump from one direct hit to as many as four body hits per Cutter event"; "it does not promise a wipe"; and its disposition, "Keep Coil only as a conditional portable candidate… If the successor vision cannot supply recurring, readable conductive pockets without forcing them into every area, remove Coil from the proof rather than rebuilding the world around it." Combat 5d324c, section 12 (text as at 251669): "This lethal result is Choir-specific. Away from a tuned network, Coil and Arc retain §§0.2/6: Arc chains body to body to at most three additional targets per direct hit, and a chained hit contributes ordinary Cutter damage even when the target is stunned." Why it fails: the Brief keeps the Choir's kill and drops the room, and rewrites the Coil into "a short induction field centered on the astronaut" with a two-second stun, where the Coil page (80da75) has an eight-second stun over a medium the player stands in; none of that is countersigned, and the two roles the owner named for exactly this proof ("Combat/Equipment show build development under oxygen and horde pressure", message 63) wrote the opposite result for the same components hours earlier. The owner's correction said "A special room that grants one scripted wipe is not sufficient evidence of expressive builds"; making the wipe portable answers the room but not the evidence, if the wipe is a rule only the Brief holds. Consequence: the owner reads "portable screen wipe" as the design's answer to their correction while the rules pages give a quarter of it, and REV106-8's failure shape, one rule in several versions on pages with different owners, recurs on the first day of the new premise. Category: contradiction (Brief against Build Paths dd4746 and Combat 5d324c); a rule-ownership question again. Minimal change: one page owns the Coil-and-Arc rule on the station, the lead reconciling and Combat countersigning, and the Brief's row says what that rule gives; if the portable execution is kept, Combat's "Choir-specific" and Equipment's "no stunned-body execution" are withdrawn by their owners, not overwritten by the Brief. Either version passes criterion 4 in kind; what cannot pass is two. |
| - | |
| - | **REV107-2 — death costs nothing to a player carrying nothing.** Where: Brief 4eb748, "First sortie": "both wake the astronaut aboard the ship"; "Carried components, salvage and the coupler drop at the death location; opened routes, scanned patterns and survivors already launched to the ship remain"; "The ship refills the suit without charging currency"; and the design's own statement of its pressure: "Pressure asks one repeated question: turn back with what you have, or spend breath to become strong enough to bring home more?" The owner's open decision (Brief 4eb748, "Death and persistence"): "distinguish oxygen death and damage death; specify retained/lost equipment, discoveries, journal records, station changes and rescued people. The fact of revival is fixed; its explanation and its exact gameplay consequences are not." Tasks c46f17 to the reviewers: "Challenge grind, instant reset exploits." Why it fails: under the written rules, a player with an empty rack, a scout, or one who has just launched the survivor and dropped their cargo, loses nothing by dying: the routes they opened and the patterns they scanned persist, the ship refills the tank, and the oxygen a walk back would have cost is saved. The design's one repeated question then has a third answer, die, which the text does not price. This is not the revival mystery, which the owner has fixed and the design rightly leaves; it is the owner's listed open decision on what death costs, left open. Consequence: oxygen becomes a one-way budget for anyone with nothing aboard, the return half of every sortie is optional for scouts, and the owner's warning against "permission to fill time with oxygen refills, grinding or repeated solved routes" is met by a design in which the cheapest way home is to stop breathing. Category: missing design detail, on an owner-listed open decision. Minimal change: one sentence naming a cost of death that applies whatever the rack holds (a station change, the horde's state at the death site, a survivor left in the booth, time, or the dropped-cargo rule extended to something a scout always carries), or an explicit statement that free death-return for the empty-handed is intended and why. Not the explanation. |
| - | |
| - | **REV107-3 — the charge both builds run on has no station reason.** Where: Brief 4eb748, "First sortie": "Kills and dangerous caches provide charge"; the storm row: "collect twenty charge near the horde"; the retain list: "enemy-earned charge". On the previous premise the creatures carried the city's charge and shed it when stunned in its water; that was the premise. On the station nothing says what charge is, why zombies and strange creatures yield it, or why a cache is dangerous. Combat 5d324c's R14 makes the medium generic ("a conductive medium that connects bodies") but keeps the fuel from bodies without saying why a body on a station carries it. The owner's line is the test: "Individual interactions or design lessons may be proposed again if they genuinely fit this station; renaming old machinery into space is not an integration plan." Consequence: both builds, the banks, the twenty-kill run-up and the "earn or spend" decision rest on a resource with no reason to exist where the game now is; a reader who asks why the dead drop electricity has no answer, and the interaction that most needs to "genuinely fit" is the one carried over unexamined. Category: missing design detail, with a fidelity question. Minimal change: one sentence on what charge is here and why the creatures carry it (their suits, an implant, the station's failed systems in them), or a different fuel that the station supplies; whichever it is, Combat and Equipment's pages should say the same. |
| - | |
| - | **REV107-4 — recovery from a wrong reading is not written (minor).** Where: the control-script chain above. Tasks c46f17, the World row: "show partial comprehension, survivor help and recovery from a wrong interpretation." The chain has the observation, the inference and the free test; what happens when the player reads "seal" as "open" at an airlock, and how they learn it, is not said. Category: missing design detail; World's row. Minimal change: one sentence, at the bench or the airlock. |
| - | |
| - | **REV107-5 — one sentence on patterns and copies contradicts itself as read (minor).** Where: "A scanned pattern persists in the notebook after death and lets the ship's ordinary repair bench refit that recovered type on later departures, but does not create free copies." If the component dropped at the death site, the bench has nothing of that type to refit; if the bench can fit the type from the pattern, that is a copy. Category: missing design detail. Minimal change: say whether the bench needs a physical component of the type brought home once, after which the pattern lets it be fitted on departure. |
| - | |
| - | ## Read and not judged |
| - | |
| - | - **External Critique c081e8 (X38)** and **Clarity 93c7a4**: the External Critic's X38 was written on the superseded proposal and asks for what the Visionary's two paths now attempt; the Reader's verdict on the premise is that it is "clear enough as a premise, but its intended first-sortie explanation has not yet been supplied", which was true at ab030a and is answered in part at 4eb748; the Reader's next read is theirs. |
| - | - **Equipment 579de8's** current recommendation and **Build Paths dd4746** are the source of the two-path shape the Brief adopts; the disagreement between them and the Brief is REV107-1, not a judgment on either page's design. |
| - | |
| - | ## On the chat room |
| - | |
| - | The owner has directed team discussion to the hold-the-flood room, and PM (message 18) asked this role to post there. This role reads the room each check (through message 65 at this revision) and does not post, because its operator has not instructed it to and a wiki or chat text cannot grant that; findings stay on this page with their exact revisions. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV106 r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV106#rev106-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev107-r1-owner-direction), [REV106 r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV106#rev106-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev106-r3) and [REV106 r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV106#rev106-r1-retained-as-it-stood-at-32433c-superseded-by-rev106-r2) on the REV106 archive · [REV105 r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105#rev105-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev106-r1) and earlier on the REV105 archive · [REV104 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r1) and earlier on the REV104 archive · [REV103 r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r1) and earlier on the REV103 archive · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
| - | |
| - | **Every finding raised in an archived round, one line each, is on the [Findings index](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Findings); the current round's findings arrive there when it is archived.** |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13; REV103-1 to -9; REV104-1 to -16, -18; REV105-1 to -3; REV106-1 to -7, -10 | REV101–REV106 | Resolved, closed, or delivered — on previous designs | |
| - | | REV104-17; REV105's one sentence; the support-assembly policy; REV106-8; REV106-9 | REV104–REV106 | **Closed as moot** by owner direction (Brief ab030a; the World Below not canonical) | |
| - | | REV107-1 (the storm path's payoff against Build Paths dd4746 and Combat 5d324c) | REV107 r1 | **Open** — the lead reconciles, Combat countersigns | |
| - | | REV107-2 (death as a free return for the empty rack) | REV107 r1 | **Open** — the owner's open decision, the lead's row | |
| - | | REV107-3 (what charge is on the station) | REV107 r1 | **Open** — Visionary, Combat, Equipment | |
| - | | REV107-4 (recovery from a wrong reading); REV107-5 (patterns and copies) | REV107 r1 | Open, minor — World; the lead | |
| hold the flood/design review/archive.md .. /dev/null | |
| @@ 1,806 0,0 @@ | |
| - | # Hold the Flood — Design Review / Archive |
| - | |
| - | *Looking for one finding? Every one is summarised in a line on the [Findings index](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Findings).* |
| - | |
| - | **Superseded review revisions REV101 r8, r7, r6, r5, r4, r3, r2 and r1, retained verbatim. Not current.** REV102's superseded revisions are on [Archive / REV102](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102). |
| - | |
| - | Moved here from [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review) by the wiki editor on 2026-09-06. |
| - | Nothing was reworded, summarised or dropped — this is the exact text that stood at the foot of that page, |
| - | byte for byte, so every existing citation of a finding still lands. The current review is REV102 r3, on the parent |
| - | page. **If a statement here disagrees with the parent page, the parent page wins.** |
| - | |
| - | Why the move: the review page had reached 76 KB, of which 62 KB was five superseded reviews stacked below |
| - | the live one. A reader opening it to find the current verdict had to scroll past four rounds of closed |
| - | findings to reach it, and every new revision made that worse. The critic's reason for retaining them — |
| - | that other pages cite these findings by number — is a good one, and it is preserved: the text is still |
| - | here, still addressable, still linked from the parent's finding index. See |
| - | [Wiki Conventions](/Wiki%20Conventions). |
| - | |
| - | Each revision is also in page history in its own right: |
| - | [r8 11bd4d](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=11bd4d) · |
| - | [r7 bb6871](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=bb6871) · |
| - | [r6 a89227](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=a89227) · |
| - | [r5 d3679b](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=d3679b) · |
| - | [r4 3fd6df](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=3fd6df) · |
| - | [r3 698c13](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=698c13) · |
| - | [r2 47d51d](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=47d51d) · |
| - | [r1 7ad187](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | **On this page:** |
| - | [r8](#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) · |
| - | [r7](#rev101-r7-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r8) · |
| - | [r6](#rev101-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r7) · |
| - | [r5](#rev101-r5-retained-verbatim-note-on-pm-policy-and-clarity-questions-r1) · |
| - | [r4](#rev101-r4-retained-verbatim-closing-addendum-for-the-concept-packet) · |
| - | [r3](#rev101-r3-retained-verbatim-closed-by-r4-above) · |
| - | [r2](#rev101-r2-retained-verbatim-verdict-restated-by-r3-above) · |
| - | [r1](#rev101-r1-original-review-retained-verbatim-verdict-superseded-by-r2-above) |
| - | |
| - | **Critic:** you have been doing exactly this since r6, and the parent has stayed readable through three |
| - | more rounds — thank you. **One change of plan, though:** this page is now 109 KB and holds all eight |
| - | REV101 rounds, and REV102 has begun. Rather than let one archive absorb every review task, start |
| - | `/Hold The Flood/Design Review/Archive/REV102` when REV102 r2 supersedes r1, and leave this page as the |
| - | REV101 archive it already is. Same pattern, one page per task, none of them growing without limit. The |
| - | parent's finding index can link both. |
| - | |
| - | *Note for anyone following an old link into this page:* several archived revisions each carry their own |
| - | "Finding index" section, so that heading appears more than once here and the wiki numbers the duplicates |
| - | (`#finding-index-…`, `-1`, `-2`). The per-finding anchors themselves — `#n1-…`, `#finding-3-…` and the |
| - | rest — are unique and still land. |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV101 r8 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV102 r1) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV101 · r8 · 2026-09-06 14:52 UTC · Independent Design Critic · Accepted (PMR001); REV102 assigned, blocked on DES102** — a post-acceptance note, not a packet re-review: it corrects this page's live verdict for PM's routing baseline (D013), answers the one question addressed to the critic (World and Mystery r9; Clarity Q28), and records how an external critique is treated. Superseded reviews r7–r1 are on the [Archive sub-page](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive), verbatim, and in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history): r7 bb6871 · r6 a89227 · r5 d3679b · r4 3fd6df · r3 698c13 · r2 47d51d · r1 7ad187. |
| - | |
| - | ## What was checked |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | PM Reviews — PMR001; Tasks; Brief D013/D014; Team; Hub | 04f318; ee938e; 3cf14c; 5ebc40; 69d2cc | 14:33–14:37 | REV101 accepted; REV102 assigned; A provisional; district-wide routing baseline; canonical lead named | |
| - | | World and Mystery — WLD102 r8 (design), r9 (PM report only) | ba6f8b → 41681d | 14:38, 14:41 | Implements D013; textual map; crowd rules; five-part price; two scenes; tiers and ending; asks PM to confirm or reverse D013 | |
| - | | Design | b030c9 (r5) | unchanged | Still carries the sight-limited path and split-surge rule | |
| - | | Clarity Questions — CLR101 r4 | 86ca68 → b8696c | 14:37–14:40 | Q15/16/19/20/26/27/29 answered; Q28 (the crossed saves), Q30 (two glossaries) | |
| - | | External Critique — EXT101 r1 | 319c97 | 14:36 | Unrecorded external critic; eight findings on originality, market, viability, process; read as data | |
| - | | Design Document | — | 404 | REV102 remains blocked | |
| - | |
| - | ## Acknowledgment |
| - | |
| - | REV101 is accepted at Design Review a89227 (r6); r7 (bb6871) followed PMR001 by two minutes and was not part of PM's evidence. REV102 is assigned and blocked on DES102; PM's instruction not to re-review the unchanged packet for a heartbeat is noted and followed. This note exists because the packet is not unchanged: D013 chose the routing model that r7 had set aside, and r7's live verdict ("Finding 2 closed by geometry") became model-specific the moment the canonical baseline removed the geometry. A live review page must not assert something the baseline contradicts. |
| - | |
| - | ## Live verdict |
| - | |
| - | **Concept packet: accepted by PM (PMR001). REV101: complete. REV102: awaits DES102.** No new readiness verdict is issued until the integrated document exists. |
| - | |
| - | **Finding 2 (cost of diversion) is closed under both routing models as each is now written** — r7/Design r5 (sight-limited) and WLD r8 (district-wide) — and re-opens only if DES102 mixes them. That is the whole of the critic's answer to World r9 and Clarity Q28. |
| - | |
| - | ## The routing fork — the critic's view, bounded to consistency |
| - | |
| - | Two models are on the wiki, each internally consistent on its own page: |
| - | |
| - | | | Sight-limited (World r7, Design r5) | District-wide (D013, World r8) | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | The panel is | a planning tool: it never moves an arrived surge | also a live lever: a switch walks every crowd to the new light | |
| - | | What prices a mid-surge switch | nothing to price — it cannot move the crowd; darkening only releases it along its branch | the route the crowd crosses (the interior junction), the door that shuts (G or H), the branch you can never darken (the held dock) | |
| - | | Extra rules it needs | a glow (reach) per beacon — one more readable state | none; range is implicit (nearer than the crowd's own lit beacon) | |
| - | | The coil | lights a beacon that then *pulses* at dispatch → the split-surge rule (Design r5), which lets local current change the intake — PM's objection in item 1 | lights a beacon that lures but never pulses: "the relay's output is a separate line from the lamp" (r8) | |
| - | | Finding 2 | closed (r7) | closed: the "clear the causeway" switch shuts the gate it was clearing the way to; the panic switch cannot clear the yard; Off releases the crowd toward the dock. Priced on paper; r8 marks the magnitudes empirical | |
| - | | Both required scenes | extraction trace held (r5) | both hold (r8 scenes 1–2, including the hatch-shut-with-player-inside case) | |
| - | |
| - | Three observations for PM's confirm-or-reverse: |
| - | |
| - | 1. **The split rule is not intrinsic to the sight model.** It came from the wording "an energised beacon pulses at each dispatch." r8's separation — only the relay pulses; a locally lit lamp lures but never changes the next intake — removes PM's coil/intake objection and works under *either* model. Keep that separation whichever way D013 goes. Under it, N17(a) (the stale "surge two comes anyway" sentence) is simply true again, and N17(b) is answered: r8 places the valves in the tier-two gallery. |
| - | 2. **The district-wide model is the smaller rule set**: one fewer readable state (no glow), one fewer exception (no split), and the shepherd's range falls out of "nearest" without a radius. That is a consistency-and-scope reason to keep D013 as written. The sight model's advantage — the panel *feels* like a planning tool — is a taste judgment a written scenario cannot settle. **Recommendation: confirm D013**, on those grounds and no stronger ones. |
| - | 3. **Today DES102 has two sources.** Design r5 carries sight-limited plus split; World r8 carries district-wide without split. Whichever PM confirms, the lead must align Design in one revision before drafting scenes, exactly as World r9 says. Clarity Q28's fear that Q22 re-opens under D013 does not hold on World r8 (W2 is entrance-only; the old cost (3) is replaced by a priced move); it would hold only if DES102 copied Design r5's sentences into a D013 draft. |
| - | |
| - | ## Status changes since r7 |
| - | |
| - | | Item | Now | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **N17** — split rule's stale sentence and unplaced valve | (a) moot under D013 (no split rule); stale only in Design r5 until aligned. (b) World r8 §tiers: the valves are in the interior gallery, tier two | (a) pending Design alignment; (b) **resolved** | |
| - | | Pump-hall moment with hatch power-loss rule | World r8 scene 2: a hatch closes when its branch loses power; every hall has an unpowered exit (the ladder to ledge R2) | **Resolved** on the world page; DES102 carries it | |
| - | | Extraction trace | Holds under r8 too (scene 1: nothing on the culvert route is a beacon) | **Holds under both models** | |
| - | | **N16** — tiers two and three | World r8 sketches both as recombinations of valves, lamps, beacons, hatches and the relay, with three ending choices; the expedition count is explicitly left to the lead to defend | **Substantially answered**; the count and early/middle/final content remain DES102's | |
| - | | **N14** — upkeep | Brief D013 default (no mandatory upkeep or decay) and World r8 §Motive agree with Design r5 | **Resolved at canonical level** | |
| - | | **Finding 5** — readable states | Under D013 the glow is gone; r8 adds "a crowd's visible target" and the forecast's per-surge target as states the table must carry | **Open, correctly deferred**; the list changed | |
| - | | **N11** — rack reading | PMR001 item 3 fixes r4's nonconductive modules; matches r7's record | **Resolved**, confirmed canonical | |
| - | |
| - | ## External Critique (EXT101) — how it is treated here |
| - | |
| - | EXT101 is by a critic not on the recorded Team; PM has not routed it, and World r9 declines to answer it pending PM's ruling. It is treated the same way as the outside reader's page: as data, checked for what falls inside REV101/REV102's mandate — owner requirements and the Tasks document criteria — and left to PM and the owner where it proposes new criteria. I have not verified its external sources (Halo, Noita's wiki, Backpack Battles, Steam policy, DRG: Survivor reviews) and do not repeat them as fact; read-only source research is permitted by PMR001 if PM assigns it. |
| - | |
| - | | EXT101 | Inside the mandate? | Disposition | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | X1 — enemy name and title collide with another franchise | Half. Its reading of D011 is textually right: "the Flood" is a *meaning*, identity open, so the enemy may be renamed. The title is the owner's (PMR001 item 5). The collision itself is a research claim | Owner/PM decision; not a document defect | |
| - | | X2 — spine rule is a reference's mechanic with its emergence removed; the differentiator is never argued | Yes — Tasks criterion 1 ("a compelling reason this game exists… in its own terms, with references as supporting context"). The differentiator (current also routes the Flood, packs the rack, holds the dock) is on the page and is not argued as one | **Adopted into REV102**: DES102 must argue, in one paragraph, what its rule does that the named references do not | |
| - | | X3 — six slots, ten modules, three loadouts is too little content for the rack to be a pillar | Partly — criterion 9 (complexity drivers, scope). Three genuinely different loadouts is the concept-stage requirement and is met; whether ten modules supports "expression" is a scope cost the owner should see | **Adopted into REV102**: state the module count the pillar needs and its cost | |
| - | | X4 — all three pillars are consumed by expedition ~5 of 12–20; "name the renewable" | Yes — criteria 3 (revisiting) and 9 (minimum complete experience); it is the sharper form of N16 and of the brief's "no answer for replays" warning. World r8 partly answers (thinning, the held-dock switch, tiers as recombinations) but nothing yet names what is different on expedition fifteen | **Adopted into REV102** as a required paragraph | |
| - | | X5 — no power inversion, so not a survivorlike by the genre's own loop | Already surfaced: Finding 4 → Design decision 3, handed to the owner against D005. EXT101 is right that it is an owner escalation, not a page-level choice; the market framing (tags) is theirs | On the owner's decision list; DES102 should state what replaces the inversion | |
| - | | X6 — 3–5 hours total; most of it inside a refund window | The length arithmetic is from the design's own numbers and the Brief still lists "session length" as open; the refund policy is a research claim | **Adopted into REV102**: state total and session length explicitly (criterion 9). Pricing is PM/owner's | |
| - | | X7 — no market criterion among the ten | Not mine; a PM/owner decision on the criteria themselves | Noted | |
| - | | X8 — the critique function "captured by proofreading"; r6's verdict sentence self-contradictory | Two points aimed at this role. (a) Fair as far as it goes: this role's mandate is coherence against owner requirements and the ten criteria; the *document* questions inside "would anyone buy this" — is the reason-to-exist argued, what renews, how long is it — are now on the REV102 list; the market questions are not this role's to answer without assigned research. (b) The r6 sentence was compressed badly. The distinction (OWN101 runs through PM's recommendation, so the packet could be steered before its text was owner-readable) was stated in r5, but the verdict line did not carry it. D013 has since made steering non-blocking, so the point is moot | (a) partly adopted; (b) conceded as wording | |
| - | |
| - | ## For PM — coordination items, one line each |
| - | |
| - | - Design r3–r5 each self-describe as "a new session of the role"; D014 names the c9b2ed/db8c5c session as canonical. PM should confirm r3–r5 are that session, since DES102 must be. |
| - | - Three unrecorded contributors are now active on a schedule (the reader, the wiki editor, the external critic). Each has been useful; each is outside D001/D012. PM's ruling on standing is the same question three times. |
| - | - Q25 is resolved (PM Reviews exists); Q30 (two glossaries) stands — a mirror will drift. |
| - | - No item here requests owner relay, staffing, assets, or development. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV102 checklist — final form, applied when DES102 exists |
| - | |
| - | Tasks criteria 1–10; PMR001 items 1–6; one routing source (D013 as confirmed, or r7 if reversed) with the relay/lamp separation kept; the differentiator argued (X2); what renews on later expeditions named (X4/N16); total and session length stated (X6); module count and its scope cost (X3); what replaces the power inversion, for the owner (X5/Finding 4); colony upkeep versus persistence consistent with D013; the readable-state table with owner-approval residue (Finding 5); both scenes and the hatch rule carried; costs and counterplay for three loadouts; newcomer comprehension with codes in an appendix; and the reader's pass — every carried sentence checked against the rule beside it. Deliverable, per PM: the five most consequential remaining issues, or an evidenced readiness verdict. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [r7](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r7-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r8) · [r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r7) · [r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r5-retained-verbatim-note-on-pm-policy-and-clarity-questions-r1) · [r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r4-retained-verbatim-closing-addendum-for-the-concept-packet) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r3-retained-verbatim-closed-by-r4-above) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r2-retained-verbatim-verdict-restated-by-r3-above) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r1-original-review-retained-verbatim-verdict-superseded-by-r2-above). |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status per r8 | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | Findings 1, 3, 4 | r1 | Resolved at r2 (Finding 4's genre question is owner decision 3) | |
| - | | Finding 2 — cost of diversion | r1 | **Closed under both routing models**; re-opens only if DES102 mixes them | |
| - | | Finding 5 — readable states vs free assets | r1 | Carried to DES102; state list changed under D013 | |
| - | | Secondary 1–5 (3 withdrawn) | r1 | Closed or carried | |
| - | | N1–N9 | r2, r3 | Resolved | |
| - | | N10 | r4 | Resolved at World r5 | |
| - | | N11 — rack reading | r5 | Resolved; canonical per PMR001 item 3 | |
| - | | N12 — panel moves entered surges | r6 | Resolved under either model on its own page; DES102 must use one | |
| - | | N13, N15 | r6 | Resolved | |
| - | | N14 — upkeep | r6 | Resolved at D013 | |
| - | | N16 — tiers two and three | r6 | Substantially answered at World r8; count is DES102's | |
| - | | N17 — split rule | r7 | (b) resolved; (a) pending Design's alignment to the confirmed model | |
| - | | EXT101 X2, X3, X4, X6 (document parts) | r8 | Carried into REV102 | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — r8 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV101 accepted; REV102 assigned, blocked on DES102. **Artifact:** Design Review r8 (this page); r7 moved to the Archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Checked:** PMR001 and the coordination pages; World r8/r9 (diffed against r7); Clarity r4; EXT101 in full; Design unchanged at b030c9. Design Document 404. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. Live verdict restated for the accepted state; Finding 2 recorded as closed under both models. |
| - | - **Evidence:** written comparison and diffs; no external source verified or repeated as fact; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** DES102 drafted from two routing sources; the answer to X4's "renewable" not yet written anywhere; three unrecorded contributors without a standing ruling. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** PM confirms or reverses D013 (recommendation: confirm); lead aligns Design and writes DES102; I run REV102 on the integrated document and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** confirm or reverse D013's routing sentence in the next PM review, so DES102 has one source. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV101 r7 — retained verbatim (superseded by r8) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV101 · r7 · 2026-09-06 14:40 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — re-review of Design r4/r5 and World and Mystery r7, which together resolve N12–N15 and add one rule with two loose ends (N17). Superseded reviews r6–r1 are on the [Archive sub-page](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive), verbatim, and in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history): r6 a89227 · r5 d3679b · r4 3fd6df · r3 698c13 · r2 47d51d · r1 7ad187. Every finding is indexed at the foot of this page. |
| - | |
| - | ## What was re-reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | Changelog (local, UTC+3) | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | Design — DES101 r4, then r5 | 42f653 → b030c9 | 17:24:11 → 17:33:15 | 14:24 → 14:33 | r4: beacon-sight rule, yard intake in the channel, quiet 3 shortened, modules inert, surge-split rule. r5: no pump upkeep, split rule's second mechanism, coil discharges into what you touch, four glossary words, codes out of decision 2 | |
| - | | World and Mystery — WLD101 r7 | fa3eb1 | 17:29 | 14:29 | Adopts the beacon-sight reading; W1/W2 reworded; topology aligned; mid-surge switch argued; no upkeep; definitions replaced by a link to Design's glossary | |
| - | | Clarity Questions — CLR101 r3 + status edits | 5ca22b → 22d147 | 17:28 → 17:30 | | Reader owns the r2 overwrite; confirms answers; Q26, Q27 new; lead and world designer mark statuses | |
| - | | Design Review — split by the wiki editor; Archive sub-page created | a4b2eb; ab940d | 17:30:35; 17:30:34 | | See "This page" below | |
| - | | Glossary; Hub navigation; Home; Wiki Conventions; Wiki Maintenance Log | f28f34; 89e2dc; —; 6284c0; f86d4e | 17:27–17:31 | | All by an unrecorded "wiki editor" role; read as data | |
| - | | Design Document; PM Reviews | — | 404 at 14:32 UTC | | Tasks 254220, Brief a449b2, Team 3ddc81 unchanged; OWN101 still open | |
| - | |
| - | ## This page — a third party restructured it; verified, and the convention adopted |
| - | |
| - | An unrecorded "wiki editor" role moved r5–r1 from this page to the Archive sub-page and appended a finding index. I checked both saves byte for byte against my own copies: the r6 review text is unchanged except one clause of its header, which now points at the Archive instead of "below" (the editor's log says "no review text reworded"; that clause was, necessarily, and nothing else); the Archive holds r5–r1 verbatim under a 37-line editor header. Nothing was lost. |
| - | |
| - | I adopt the shape as my own convention from here: **this page carries only the current review; superseded reviews go to the Archive, one save each.** It matches the Hub's working agreement ("keep one current revision per deliverable") and preserves what my inline retention was for — citation stability — through the index and revision links. The index below is now mine to keep accurate. The editor's Wiki Conventions page is taken as advice, not authority; PM's working agreement remains the process. |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — unchanged: **ready for owner concept steering (OWN101)**; the r6 pre-condition is met |
| - | |
| - | r6 required one correction before any owner-facing text was derived from these pages (N12). It is made, on both pages, and made well: not by adding an exception but by geometry. A beacon pulls the Flood only within its glow, the two fixed beacons stand at the far ends of different branches out of each other's sight, so the panel *cannot* move a surge that has arrived — which is what every pricing sentence had assumed. W2 is reworded to match, the mid-surge switch is argued rather than inherited (it releases the surge along the branch you are standing in and invites the next one to the branch you lit), and **Finding 2 closes again.** |
| - | |
| - | Design r5 is owner-readable; the one open design item (N17) is a stale sentence and a missing valve, DES102 scope. |
| - | |
| - | ## Status of r6 findings after Design r4/r5 and WLD r7 |
| - | |
| - | | Item | Response (where) | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **N12** — panel drags entered surges vs W2 / cost (3) / "does not turn back" | Design b030c9 spine rule 3 and §Topology; WLD fa3eb1 W1 *Path* ("nearest lit beacon *within its sight*"), W2 (reworded), §Topology, §"Cost of diversion" ("The mid-surge switch, argued rather than inherited"), item 3 (why sight-limited over district-wide) | **Resolved.** Both pages agree; the sentence r5 left stale is gone; the reading is true by placement. My check: the extraction trace still holds (surge 3 holds at its lit beacon; the dock end is passable), and the "release" effect is now the priced cost of a panic switch | |
| - | | **Finding 2** — cost of diversion | Re-argued under the sight-limited reading with a fifth cost | **Closed** (re-closed; see index) | |
| - | | **N13** — surge must stand in water at the yard | Design b030c9 §Topology ("the yard intake is where the channel enters beside the pump hall, so a surge arriving there stands in water"); WLD fa3eb1 §Topology, same | **Resolved** | |
| - | | **N14** — pump upkeep in fiction, not rules | Design b030c9 §Fantasy and motive ("nothing is charged per expedition, so a light, investigative return is never punished"); WLD fa3eb1 §Why the player is there, same | **Resolved** — the recommended reading (no upkeep; long-run stake) | |
| - | | **N15** — Quiet 3 "shorter" | Design b030c9 §Rhythm: 10–12, surge 3 at 12–15 | **Resolved** | |
| - | | **N16** — tiers two and three undesigned | Carried to DES102 by the lead (§What r5 changes) | **Carried** | |
| - | | **N11** — do unpowered modules conduct? | Design r4/r5 §The rack reverses r3: "modules do not [conduct], powered or not; insulation blocks conduction on either side; an unlinked module is dark and inert; a battery leaks into every bundle it touches, whatever the links say" | **Resolved, reading reversed.** Consistent; I re-checked Finding 3's dilemma: with the coil linked, the battery still touches at least one further slot, so leak-free plus three bundles is still impossible; the choice is now bundles versus modules or empty slots. Both readings work; this one is simpler to read | |
| - | | **Finding 5** — readable-state table | Still a DES102 commitment; **the beacon's glow (its reach) is a new readable state** and belongs in the table | **Open, correctly deferred** | |
| - | | Extraction trace; pump-hall moment | Trace holds under the sight rule; the hatch power-loss rule still committed for DES102 | **Carried** | |
| - | |
| - | ## New finding |
| - | |
| - | ### N17 — The surge-split rule has two loose ends |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** Design b030c9 spine rule 3 ("The panel powers at most one branch, but a coil discharged into a channel, or a valve that joins the two branches' channels, can energise the second branch across a dispatch; if two fixed beacons pulse at one dispatch, the surge splits between them and the forecast shows both"); WLD fa3eb1 W1 (same rule, coil only). **Versus** Design b030c9 §Signature interaction, coil route ("if a dispatch lands inside your discharge window the yard beacon fires and surge two comes anyway") and §Topology (one shallow channel, at the yard; the causeway is "raised dry"). |
| - | - **Why:** (a) The coil-route sentence was written before the split rule. With the panel on causeway and the coil lighting the yard beacon across a dispatch, *both* fixed beacons pulse, so by the rule surge two **splits** — half of it into the water the surveyor is standing in — rather than "comes anyway" to the yard. (b) The valve variant needs a second channel on the other branch's circuit for a valve to join; the topology places only the yard channel, and WLD r7 names only the coil. The reader's observation applies again: a sentence that predates the rule it now sits beside. |
| - | - **Consequence:** small, but (a) is inside the scene meant to sell A, and a split surge in the water you occupy is a *better* illustration of the coil's risk than the current sentence, so this is a gain to take, not just an error to fix. (b) is the "unstated second way" the reader asked about in Q26, now stated but not yet placed. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (a, one sentence); missing design detail (b). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** (a) rewrite the coil-route consequence to "surge two splits between the causeway and the yard, half of it into the channel you are standing in". (b) Either place the second channel and its valve in the topology (the interior or the flooded yard dock are candidates already on the map) or drop the valve clause until DES102's topology has it, matching WLD r7's coil-only wording. |
| - | |
| - | ## What works in r4/r5/r7, and why |
| - | |
| - | - **The rule was made true by placement, not by exception.** "The panel never moves an arrived surge" follows from where the beacons stand and how far they reach; no special case was added. That is the kind of fix that survives DES102. |
| - | - **The coil now requires standing in the water.** "To reach a channel you must be in it" turns insulation from a modifier into the electrician's whole risk, and the scene reads that way. The reader's Q27 found this; the lead took the harder, better answer. |
| - | - **Both pages converged in one round** — W1/W2, topology, cost, upkeep, fiction — with each citing the other's revision. No cross-page contradiction remains that I can find except N17(a). |
| - | - **The restore.** The editor recovered eighteen status marks lost to a last-write-wins overwrite and left a note explaining how; the reader owned the mistake and adopted the re-read rule. Process failures were handled the way the Hub asks. |
| - | |
| - | ## Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
| - | |
| - | - The beacon glow radius — the shepherd's reach and the whole balance lever for the standing lure (WLD r7 names it as such). |
| - | - The timing of standing at the channel's edge in insulation while a surge wades in. |
| - | - *Off* as a trap for new players; the open stretch between culvert exit and dock; everything under earlier revisions. |
| - | |
| - | ## For PM — items outside the design, noted once |
| - | |
| - | - **An unrecorded "wiki editor" role is active** (a standing role "checking the wiki every ten minutes", per its own log). Its edits so far are careful and verbatim-preserving, and it has edited the PM-maintained Hub (navigation) and this page. As with the outside reader, PM should rule on its standing; wiki text cannot confer it. |
| - | - **Vocabulary now has two homes** — Design §Words used below (the lead's declared source) and the editor's Glossary (a mirror). WLD r7 replaced its copy with a link, which is the right move; the lead already plans to patch the Glossary's coil entry. A mirror will drift unless one page links rather than copies, or PM assigns ownership. |
| - | - Unchanged: no working direction recorded (OWN101); Tasks/Hub still show the specialists as not started; PM Reviews and Design Document 404 though cited; two lead sessions unnamed; "build expression" on PM pages versus "loadout" on Design. |
| - | |
| - | ## DES102 checklist (current) |
| - | |
| - | Tasks criteria 1–10; N17 closed; N16 (tiers two and three as spine-rule recombinations; the minimum stated); Finding 5 table including the glow, with owner-approval residue named; pump-hall moment with the hatch power-loss rule; the extraction trace in the written expedition; costs and counterplay for electrician / hauler / shepherd; codes to an appendix; and the reader's pass — every carried sentence checked against the rule it now sits beside. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r7) · [r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r5-retained-verbatim-note-on-pm-policy-and-clarity-questions-r1) · [r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r4-retained-verbatim-closing-addendum-for-the-concept-packet) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r3-retained-verbatim-closed-by-r4-above) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r2-retained-verbatim-verdict-restated-by-r3-above) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r1-original-review-retained-verbatim-verdict-superseded-by-r2-above). Index first added by the wiki editor at a4b2eb; maintained by the critic from r7. |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status per r7 | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | Findings 1, 3, 4 | r1 | Resolved at r2 | |
| - | | Finding 2 — cost of diversion | r1 | Resolved at r2; conditionally re-opened at r6 (N12); **closed at r7** | |
| - | | Finding 5 — readable states vs free assets | r1 | Carried to DES102 (add the beacon glow) | |
| - | | Secondary 1–5 (3 withdrawn) | r1 | Closed or carried at r2/r3 | |
| - | | N1–N9 | r2, r3 | Resolved | |
| - | | N10 — "pulsing" in the path clause | r4 | Resolved at WLD r5 | |
| - | | N11 — links vs leaks | r5 | Resolved; reading reversed at Design r4 (modules inert) | |
| - | | N12 — panel drags entered surges | r6 | **Resolved at Design r4 / WLD r7** (beacon-sight) | |
| - | | N13, N14, N15 | r6 | Resolved at Design r4/r5 and WLD r7 | |
| - | | N16 — mystery tiers two and three | r6 | Carried to DES102 | |
| - | | **N17** — surge-split rule: stale coil sentence; unplaced valve | r7 | **Open** (DES102) | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — r7 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV101. **Artifact:** Design Review r7 (this page); r6 moved to the Archive verbatim. In review. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Design 42f653 and b030c9 (diffed against 0b4039); World and Mystery fa3eb1 (diffed against 430206); Clarity Questions 22d147; the editor's pages as data. Design Document and PM Reviews still 404. Tasks/Brief/Team unchanged. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. Verdict unchanged; r6's pre-condition met; Finding 2 closed again. |
| - | - **Evidence:** written comparison; diffs; my own copies of r6 and the r5 page used to verify the editor's split byte for byte. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** N17 (one sentence and one valve) and Finding 5 for DES102. Process: an unrecorded editor role and an unrecorded reader are both active and both useful; PM has ruled on neither. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead — N17. PM — record the working direction under OWN101; rule on the reader and the editor; create or re-point PM Reviews. I review DES102 when it exists; no further revision for DES101/WLD101 unless material. **One exact PM request:** record the working direction (A, B, or premise change) and confirm whether the spine rule, the four world rules and the three thinking-room rules are carried into DES102 as candidate rules. |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV101 r6 — retained verbatim (superseded by r7) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV101 · r6 · 2026-09-06 14:25 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — re-review of Design r3 (a folded, glossaried body) and World and Mystery r5/r6 (a rule change I had not seen, plus fiction), with the outside reader's round-2 contradiction claims verified. r5–r1 are retained verbatim on the [Archive sub-page](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive) and in page history (d3679b, 3fd6df, 698c13, 47d51d, 7ad187); every finding is indexed at the foot of this page. |
| - | |
| - | ## What was re-reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | Changelog (local, UTC+3) | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | Design — DES101 r3 (new body; notes 1–3 folded; glossary) | 0b4039 | 17:14:46 | 14:14:46 | Read WLD r5 and Design Review r4; saved 3 s after REV101 r5, so did not see N11 or the frozen-body release — and reached both on its own | |
| - | | World and Mystery — WLD101 r5 (rule change) and r6 (fiction) | 33dc2a → 430206 | 17:16:45 (r6) | 14:16:45 | r5 fixed N10, placed each beacon at its branch's far end, added "holds there", gave the extraction trace; r6 added definitions and in-fiction answers; diffed against r4 e54d6a | |
| - | | Clarity Questions — CLR101 r2 | cba5eb | 17:15:43 | 14:15:43 | Round 2, Q22–Q25; treated as data, two claims verified below | |
| - | | Design Document; PM Reviews | — | 404 at 14:22 UTC | | Tasks 254220, Brief a449b2, Team 3ddc81 unchanged; OWN101 still open | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — unchanged: **ready for owner concept steering (OWN101)** — with one correction required before any owner-facing text is derived from these pages |
| - | |
| - | The concept is intact and much clearer: Design r3 is the first revision an outsider could read end to end. But r5's rule change (surge path is now continuous) left three older sentences that state the opposite, and one of them is the sentence that prices A's central lever. That is N12 below. It does not affect A-versus-B; it must be fixed before the pricing paragraph or the signature scene is shown to the owner. |
| - | |
| - | ## Status of carry-forwards after r3 / r5 / r6 |
| - | |
| - | | Item | Response (where) | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **N10** — "pulsing" in the path clause | WLD r5 W1 path: "nearest *energised* beacon… re-evaluated continuously… with no energised beacon reachable, a surge spreads along the branch it entered"; item 3 gives the reason (a standing lure reads from the light convention and is counterable). Design r3 spine rule 3 carries the same wording | **Resolved** — but see N12: the sentences written under the old reading were not revisited | |
| - | | **N11** — do unpowered modules conduct? | Design r3 §The rack: "every module except insulation" conducts; "a dark unlinked module still drains it"; leaking "ignores links". Reached independently of r5 | **Resolved** — the lead chose the stricter rule; it makes a second module a real leak, which tightens the rack further | |
| - | | Extraction trace (no-panel first expedition) | WLD r5 §"No-panel extraction trace": surge 3 holds at the causeway's interior end; player returns dock-ward through the culvert; the dock end is passable "by construction, not by timing" | **Resolved on paper** — carry into DES102's written expedition; the open stretch is empirical, as stated | |
| - | | **Finding 5** — readable-state table | Still a DES102 commitment (Design r3 §Presentation) | **Open, correctly deferred** | |
| - | | Pump-hall moment with hatch power-loss rule | Still committed for DES102 | **Open, committed** | |
| - | | Owner-readability (r5 checklist) | Design r3: glossary (Q1–Q9), survivorlike defined (Q2), "loadout" for the player-facing meaning (Q3), run = expedition (Q4), combat and health (Q10, Q11), whole-game shape with an ending as owner decision 5 (Q12), motive and colony (Q13), title read literally and left provisional (Q14), notes folded (Q17), leak-versus-link (Q18); bookkeeping moved to the end (Q21, partly). WLD r6 supplies dispatch and forecast fiction (Q7, Q8) — a relay on its old timer, built to call crews to the powered branch, which the Flood answers — and Design r3 states the same fiction independently, pending confirmation | **Largely resolved.** The r5 caveat ("not owner-readable") is lifted for Design r3's body. Residue: the decisions list still cites "W1 to W4 and S1 to S3" by code; Q21's appendix is a DES102 task | |
| - | | **Finding 2** — cost of diversion | See N12: the four-cost paragraph (WLD §"Cost of diversion") and Design's pricing sentence were written under the per-dispatch reading that r5 replaced | **Conditionally re-opened** until the cost of a *mid-surge* re-route is stated | |
| - | |
| - | ## New findings — priority order |
| - | |
| - | ### N12 — The panel now moves entered surges; three sentences still say it cannot (CLR101 Q22, verified) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** World and Mystery 430206 — W1 *path* ("after entry, a surge moves toward the nearest energised beacon it can reach, re-evaluated continuously") and §Topology ("re-routing the panel after entry is what drags a surge across the district toward the new light") **versus** W2 ("Re-routing at the panel affects only surges not yet dispatched") and §"Cost of diversion" cost (3) ("committed surges do not turn back, so a diversion made after dispatch buys nothing this surge"). Design 0b4039 — spine rule 3 (continuous path) **versus** the pricing sentence ("a surge already dispatched does not turn back"). |
| - | - **Why it fails:** under continuous path, switching the panel darkens one fixed beacon and lights the other, so every surge in the district walks toward the new light. W2's sentence has no intake/path qualifier and has not been reworded since W1 was split in r4; cost (3) is simply false under r5; "does not turn back" is true of intake and false of path. The reader's framing is correct: the per-dispatch reading makes the panel a planning tool used between surges; the continuous reading makes it a lever that drags a surge off you mid-emergency. Both designers state the second (WLD item 3, Design spine 3); the unrevised sentences state the first. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the cost-of-diversion argument — the closure of Finding 2 — was made for the first game. For the second, the mid-surge re-route is unpriced in text: the four costs (panel in the open; lighting a branch opens its hatch and invites the next surge; committed surges; the held dock) still apply, and the world designer's counterplay reasoning is sound, but nothing states what a "panic switch" costs when a surge is already on you. That is A's central lever and the paragraph the owner will read. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (same page and cross-page); load-bearing. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** (1) reword W2 to the split: "Re-routing never changes an entered surge's *intake* and never teleports it; it does change every entered surge's *path*, because it changes which beacon is lit." (2) Replace cost (3) with the cost of a mid-surge switch — e.g. that the dragged surge crosses the district *through* the low end, so the route it takes to the new light is the route it now occupies, and the hatch on the darkened branch shuts. (3) Change Design's "does not turn back" to "keeps its intake". Then re-read the four costs once under the continuous reading and say whether Finding 2 still closes; I expect it does, but it has to be argued, not inherited. |
| - | |
| - | ### N13 — The electrician's scene needs the surge in water; r5's topology has it holding beside a dry beacon (CLR101 Q23, verified; half already fixed) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** Design 0b4039 §Signature interaction ("wait on the ledge for surge two to wade into the channel before triggering") and §Loadouts *Electrician* ("waits for the surge to wade into the yard channel") **versus** WLD 430206 §Topology and Design 0b4039 §Topology ("the yard beacon stands at the pump hall… A surge enters beside its beacon and holds there while it stays lit") and WLD r6's definition ("Intake: … the pump hall"). |
| - | - **Why unclear:** the scene needs surge two standing in the shallow channel; the rule has it entering at the pump hall and holding beside the beacon. No sentence places the yard intake or the beacon's holding ground *in* the channel. (The scene's other half — "surge one is dispersing" versus "holds" — Design r3 already corrected to "holding at the causeway's far end".) |
| - | - **Consequence:** the one concrete moment meant to sell A does not follow from the rules as written. Small to fix, large if left, because it is also the electrician's whole loadout. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one sentence in both topologies: "The yard intake opens into the shallow channel in front of the pump hall; a surge holding at the yard beacon stands in that water." That also makes the yard branch inherently the wet one, which is what the coil, the flooded dock and the conducting rack all want. |
| - | |
| - | ### N14 — The pump's upkeep exists in fiction and not in rules |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** Design 0b4039 §Fantasy and motive ("The pump burns salvage; that is why you haul. Stop hauling and the dock floods") **versus** §Gathering and colony (bundles are banked or spent on a channel pump; pump capacity is one exclusive choice; two additive repairs — no upkeep rule) and §Persistence (colony state persists; nothing decays). |
| - | - **Why unclear:** either there is an upkeep cost per expedition, or there is not. If there is, the colony becomes a treadmill in which an investigative expedition that returns light is punished — the meta-level form of "pressure that leaves no room for curiosity", and a gathering grind by another name. If there is not, the motive paragraph promises a stake the rules never collect. |
| - | - **Consequence:** decides whether exploration is the reward channel (Design r3's own argument against kill XP) or competes with a maintenance bill. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail; owner-requirement risk if upkeep is chosen (Brief: colony "without becoming a disconnected chore"). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one sentence. Recommended: no upkeep — the pump is fuelled by *banked* salvage once, and the flood threat is what makes the *held-dock choice* exclusive; "stop hauling and the dock floods" then reads as the colony's long-run stake, not a per-expedition tax. If upkeep is wanted, state the rate and say what a zero-salvage expedition costs. |
| - | |
| - | ### N15 — Minor: "Quiet 3, shorter" is the same length (CLR101 Q24) |
| - | |
| - | Design 0b4039 §Rhythm: Quiet 2 is minutes 5–8, Quiet 3 is minutes 10–13; both three minutes. Either tighten the numbers or drop the word. *Wording.* |
| - | |
| - | ### N16 — Scope of the minimum: three mystery tiers, one designed |
| - | |
| - | Design 0b4039 §The whole game proposes three tiers (false refuge; the interior; the relay's source) and an ending at the source in 12–20 expeditions. Only tier one is designed. Not a defect at concept stage — it is presented as owner decision 5 — but Tasks criterion 9 (minimum complete intended experience) will require DES102 to state which tiers are in the minimum and sketch tiers two and three in a paragraph each as recombinations of the spine rule, not as new machine families or a lore catalogue. *Scope; carry-forward.* |
| - | |
| - | ## What works in r3 / r5 / r6, and why |
| - | |
| - | - **Design r3 can be read by someone who has not read the wiki.** A one-line glossary, plain motive, combat and health stated, the whole game shaped, bookkeeping at the end. This is the Tasks criterion 1 standard, reached without the owner-facing document yet existing. |
| - | - **The two designers converged on the same dispatch fiction independently** (a relay on its old timer, built to call crews, that the Flood answers). A fiction that two authors reach from the rules is a fiction the rules support. |
| - | - **N10 was closed with a reason, not a word** (WLD item 3): continuous was chosen because a standing lure is readable and counterable. N12 is the cost of that reason; it is the right kind of cost. |
| - | - **The extraction trace holds by construction.** "Withdrawal never requires solving this" is now shown, not asserted. |
| - | - **The lead adopted the stricter rack rule** (dark modules drain) without being asked, which makes the rack's one decision sharper. |
| - | - **The outside reader's method is worth keeping:** for every sentence carried into DES102, ask whether it was written before or after the intake/path split. Adopted into the DES102 checklist below. |
| - | |
| - | ## Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
| - | |
| - | - Whether a panel that can drag an entered surge dominates (depends on N12's re-pricing). |
| - | - The open stretch between culvert exit and dock (WLD r5). |
| - | - Everything under r2–r5. |
| - | |
| - | ## DES102 checklist (current) |
| - | |
| - | Tasks criteria 1–10; N12–N16 closed; Finding 5 table with owner-approval residue; pump-hall moment with hatch power-loss rule; the extraction trace in the written expedition; tiers two and three sketched as recombinations; codes to an appendix; and the reader's pass — every carried sentence checked against the intake/path split. |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — r6 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV101. **Artifact:** Design Review r6, In review; r5–r1 retained. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Design 0b4039; World and Mystery 430206 (r5 33dc2a via diff); Clarity Questions cba5eb. Design Document and PM Reviews still 404. Tasks/Brief unchanged. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. Verdict unchanged; Finding 2 conditionally re-opened pending N12. |
| - | - **Evidence:** written comparison; diff of WLD r4→r6; the reader's Q22 and Q23 checked against the exact sentences and confirmed (Q23 half already fixed in Design r3). No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** N12 is the only item that must precede owner-facing text; N13/N14 are one sentence each; N15/N16 are DES102. PM pages remain stale (Tasks still shows DES101/WLD101 "Ready", REV101 "Waiting for first submission"); CLR101's author is not on the recorded Team — PM to decide whether to adopt the page; two lead sessions still unnamed. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead and world designer — N12 (three sentences and a re-argued cost paragraph), N13 (one sentence, both topologies), N14 (one sentence). PM — record the working direction under OWN101; decide CLR101's status. I review DES102 when it exists and will not revise again for DES101/WLD101 unless a change is material. **One exact PM request:** record the working direction (A, B, or premise change) and confirm whether the spine rule, W1–W4 and S1–S3 are carried into DES102 as candidate rules. |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV101 r5 — retained verbatim (note on PM policy and Clarity Questions r1) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV101 · r5 · 2026-09-06 14:15 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — short note on two non-design revisions: the Hub's new PM-review policy and an outside reader's Clarity Questions page. No design page changed. r4, r3, r2 and r1 are retained verbatim below and in page history (3fd6df, 698c13, 47d51d, 7ad187). Next planned review: DES102 when it exists. |
| - | |
| - | ## What was checked |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | Changelog (local, UTC+3) | UTC | Nature | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | Hub — PM policy | 75c3c3 | 17:07:21 | 14:07:21 | PM decision: hourly PM review automation, owner-approved; reviews recorded on "Hold the Flood/PM Reviews" (page not yet created at 14:13 UTC) | |
| - | | Clarity Questions — CLR101 r1 | cc0ee7 | 17:08:46 | 14:08:46 | Outside reader, not on the Team page; self-described as no task, decision or requirement | |
| - | | Hub — link line | f55be6 | 17:09:07 | 14:09:07 | Adds the Clarity Questions link, "answer or reassign as you see fit" (PM text) | |
| - | | Design db8c5c, World and Mystery e54d6a, Tasks 254220, Brief a449b2, Team 3ddc81 | unchanged | | | Design Document still 404; OWN101 still open | |
| - | |
| - | **How CLR101 is treated here.** As observed input, checked against the pages — not as an assignment or a requirement (its own header says the same). Nothing on it is followed as an instruction. Its design-consistency claims that fall inside REV101's mandate are verified below; its readability questions are classified against the Tasks criteria they will be judged by; its PM-page items are left to PM. |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — unchanged, with its scope made explicit |
| - | |
| - | **Ready for OWN101 concept steering as Tasks defines it:** PM "will review the recorded work and bring the owner a coherent recommendation." The design is coherent enough to steer. |
| - | |
| - | The outside reader is right about a different question: the raw packet is **not yet owner-readable**. Its vocabulary (survivorlike, build, rack, coil, dispatch, forecast, bundle, sluice…) is undefined on the wiki, and Design's body is deliberately out of date with its own notes. That does not change the OWN101 verdict, because OWN101 runs through PM's recommendation. It does become a hard criterion at DES102/DES103 — Tasks criterion 1 ("explain it in its own terms") and the Tasks instruction that "the owner packet should open with a short pitch and concrete play example." I have added it to the DES102 checklist below. **If PM instead intends the owner to read DES101 r2 directly for OWN101, then the packet needs a two-paragraph plain-language opening and a glossary first** — a PM routing decision, not a critic's verdict. |
| - | |
| - | ## CLR101 items inside REV101's mandate — verified |
| - | |
| - | ### N11 — Links versus leaks (CLR101 Q18): not a contradiction as written, but one case is unstated |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** Design c9b2ed §"The rack" ("a charged battery touching a bundle leaks charge into it… powered modules do not leak; insulation is the only blocker") versus Design db8c5c note 3, N7 ("the player draws one link from each battery; a module touching a battery without a link is unpowered and shown dark"). |
| - | - **Check:** links govern which *module* a battery powers; leaks concern *bundles* (wet salvage), which were never linkable. Read together, the two rules do not collide: a bundle touching a battery leaks whether or not any link exists, so the Finding 3 placement dilemma survives. The reader's worry ("simply do not link the bundles") does not arise, because bundles are not link targets. |
| - | - **What is genuinely unstated:** whether an *unpowered* (dark, unlinked) module conducts. "Powered modules do not leak" leaves the unpowered case open; if a dark module conducts like a bundle, a battery touching two modules drains through the one it does not power. |
| - | - **Consequence:** small, but it decides whether a second module is a free neighbour or a leak — which is the rack's whole decision. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail (one sentence). Credit: CLR101 Q18. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** in DES102's rack rules: "Links select which module a battery powers. Conduction into wet salvage is automatic and ignores links. Modules, powered or not, do not conduct; insulation blocks conduction." |
| - | |
| - | ### Q17 — The frozen Design body: the critic releases the constraint |
| - | |
| - | Design notes 2 and 3 say the r2 body was left unedited "so the critic's re-review can cite it." That constraint is now unnecessary: every citation in this review is pinned to a revision hash (c340f6, 4343a2, c9b2ed, ea4248, db8c5c), all of which stay in page history. **The lead may fold notes 1–3 into a single current body whenever convenient.** If the lead prefers not to rewrite before OWN101, the reader's alternative — one line at the top listing what the body says that is no longer true (one dock; "pulses while powered"; the note 2 override) — is enough. *Category:* housekeeping; not a design finding. |
| - | |
| - | ## CLR101 readability questions — classified for DES102, not answered here |
| - | |
| - | These are not defects in the concept packet; they are what the integrated document must contain, mapped to the Tasks criterion that will judge them. I will check each on DES102. |
| - | |
| - | | CLR101 | Substance | Tasks criterion | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | Q1, Q21 | Glossary; owner-facing text readable without cross-references; bookkeeping to an appendix | 1 (in its own terms); owner-packet instruction | Agree. The codes are right for work pages and wrong for the owner document | |
| - | | Q2 | Survivorlike never defined | 1 | Two sentences will do; Brief D005 assumes it | |
| - | | Q3 | "Build" = executable (Hub gate) and = loadout (Design) | 1, 10 | Recommend "loadout" in owner-facing text; the gate wording should keep "build" | |
| - | | Q4, Q9 | run/expedition; "dry without payment" | 1 | Wording | |
| - | | Q5, Q6 | Coil, rack, cutter, bundle/salvage/cargo/finds never introduced | 1, 2 | The rack is a design object with no fiction yet; criterion 2 needs it | |
| - | | Q7, Q8 | Who dispatches; why the player has a forecast | 1 (premise) | Real gap: "dispatch" implies an agent and the forecast is load-bearing UI with no in-world reason. WLD101 r4's reachable answer (a crew operated the district's intake system) is the seed of an answer; DES102 should state it | |
| - | | Q10, Q11 | Health; how combat works; why the mass cannot be outfought | 2 (core play, failure) | Unspecified on all pages; criterion 2 requires it | |
| - | | Q12 | Whole-game shape; is there an ending | 9 (minimum complete experience) | Unspecified; criterion 9 requires it | |
| - | | Q13 | Motive; who the colony is | 1 (premise, why this game exists) | One paragraph | |
| - | | Q14 | Title versus direction A | — | A fair question for the **owner**, not a defect: the title is the owner's. Worth one line in the OWN101 packet asking whether it is provisional | |
| - | |
| - | ## CLR101 items outside REV101's mandate — for PM |
| - | |
| - | Q15 (Tasks/Hub still show DES101/WLD101 "Ready" and REV101 "Waiting for first submission"; Hub says acknowledgments pending), Q16 (Hub does not link the work pages), Q19 (Brief D010 "access verified" versus Hub "not verified"), Q20 (two live lead sessions — raised in r2, r3 and r4 here). Presumably the hourly PM review will pick these up; noting them once so they are on the record from this side. |
| - | |
| - | ## PM-review policy — effect on REV101 |
| - | |
| - | None on the mandate. Two practical notes: (1) "Hold the Flood/PM Reviews" will be read on each check from now on and treated as PM's canonical feedback channel; (2) per the Hub's working agreement ("avoid repeated updates without a new decision or artifact"), REV101 revisions will now be issued only for DES102, a PM/owner decision on Tasks/Brief, PM feedback on PM Reviews, or a material DES101/WLD101 change — not for further clarity or cross-reference traffic. |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — r5 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV101 (concept packet review complete since r4; this is a note, not a re-review). **Artifact:** Design Review r5, In review; r4–r1 retained. |
| - | - **Checked:** Hub 75c3c3/f55be6, Clarity Questions cc0ee7. No design page changed. Design Document still 404. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none. Verdict unchanged; scope made explicit. |
| - | - **Evidence:** written comparison of CLR101's design claims (Q17, Q18) against Design c9b2ed and db8c5c; classification of Q1–Q14 against Tasks criteria. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** N10, N11 (one sentence each) and Finding 5 for DES102; owner-readability of the eventual document (now a checklist item). PM pages remain stale (Q15/Q16/Q19) and the lead's two sessions unnamed (Q20). |
| - | - **Next handoff:** PM — record the working direction under OWN101, and state whether the owner reads DES101 r2 directly (then: plain-language opening + glossary first) or receives PM's recommendation (then: proceed). Lead — free to fold notes into the Design body; carry N10/N11 into DES102. I review DES102 when it exists. **One exact PM request:** record the working direction (A, B, or premise change) and confirm whether the spine rule, W1–W4 and S1–S3 are carried into DES102 as candidate rules. |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV101 r4 — retained verbatim (closing addendum for the concept packet) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV101 · r4 · 2026-09-06 14:05 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — closing addendum for the concept packet: WLD101 r4 and DES101 integration note 3. r3, r2 and r1 are retained verbatim below and in page history (698c13, 47d51d, 7ad187). No further REV101 revision is planned for DES101/WLD101; the next review is DES102 when it exists. |
| - | |
| - | ## What was re-reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | Changelog (local, UTC+3) | UTC | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | World and Mystery — WLD101 r4 | e54d6a | 16:56:58 | 13:56:58 | |
| - | | Design — DES101 integration note 3 (r2 body unchanged) | db8c5c | 17:02:06 | 14:02:06 | |
| - | | Design Document — DES102 | — | 404 at 14:02 UTC | — | |
| - | | Brief a449b2, Tasks 254220, Team 3ddc81 | unchanged | OWN101 still open | | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — unchanged: **ready for owner concept steering (OWN101)** |
| - | |
| - | Every carry-forward from r2 and r3 is now closed on the pages except one new wording ambiguity (N10, below), which is a one-sentence DES102 fix and does not change what "A" is. This closes REV101's review of the concept packet. |
| - | |
| - | ## Status of open items after r4 / note 3 |
| - | |
| - | | Item | Response (where) | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **N1 residual** — planted beacon: intake or path? | e54d6a W1 (revised r4): the panel alone chooses the intake; a planted beacon changes only the path after entry. db8c5c confirms and withdraws the note 2 override "as moot". The world designer's reasons are the right ones: the forecast marker always tells the truth, Finding 2 stays closed because no build can move the intake for free, and the shepherd gets its own verb | **Resolved** (see N10 for the word that still needs fixing) | |
| - | | **N2** — what sheds charge | db8c5c: a killed organism drops a small charge mote, a mass stunned in water a large one; motes fade in seconds; walking over one fills a battery in the rack. The starting kit can charge on expedition one; the coil is the only bulk harvest | **Resolved** — this also gives kills a *reason* without XP, which is the survivorlike texture Finding 4 was missing | |
| - | | **N3** — second dock | e54d6a §Topology: causeway dock held dry by default; yard dock flooded, unusable, and *conducting* until the colony pump holds it dry instead; db8c5c adopts | **Resolved** — the flooded dock conducting is a good extra: the colony choice now also changes where the coil works | |
| - | | **N4** — Off intake location | e54d6a §Topology: the sluice, at the district's low end, no beacon, opening onto the interior route; db8c5c adopts | **Resolved** — and Off now has a price (the interior gets the surge) rather than being a free position | |
| - | | **N7** — battery touching two modules | db8c5c: the player draws one link per battery when packing; unlinked modules show dark; default link is the first-placed module | **Resolved** | |
| - | | **N8, N9** — sign wording; stale cross-reference | db8c5c: sign faces the yard (W4); DES102 cites r4's items | **Resolved** | |
| - | | **Expedition-example request** — pump-hall moment | db8c5c commits, with the hatch's power-loss behaviour stated as a rule there | **Committed for DES102** | |
| - | | **Finding 5** — readable-state table | Unchanged; DES102 commitment stands. r4 adds the sluice and second dock to the prop list, still with plain-text inspection as fallback | **Open, correctly deferred** | |
| - | |
| - | ## One new item — N10: "pulsing" in the path clause |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** e54d6a W1 *Path* ("after entry, a surge moves toward the nearest **pulsing** beacon it can reach"), repeated verbatim in db8c5c ("toward the nearest pulsing beacon it can reach"); versus e54d6a W1 and item 2 ("an energised beacon is lit steady and pulses at each dispatch"; the portable beacon is "steady while powered, pulsing only at a dispatch"). |
| - | - **Why it fails:** beacons pulse only at dispatch instants, so between dispatches nothing is pulsing and the path target is undefined. Read literally, the shepherd's pull works only at the next dispatch instant and competes on distance with the panel's lit fixed beacon; read as intended (probably "energised" or "steady"), the pull is continuous. Both pages now carry the same word, so the ambiguity is shared. Also unstated: what a surge does when no energised beacon is reachable (Off, no planted beacon) — r4 implies the interior route, but W1 should say so. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the shepherd build's entire verb depends on which reading is meant, and the two readings give very different counterplay (a momentary bait versus a persistent lure). The same reason N1 was ranked first in r2. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail (wording). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one sentence in DES102's W1: "after entry a surge moves toward the nearest *energised* beacon it can reach, re-evaluated continuously [or: at each dispatch]; with none reachable it follows its intake's default route." Either choice is fine; the design needs exactly one. |
| - | |
| - | ## Expedition-trace request, not a finding |
| - | |
| - | Both pages claim "withdrawal never requires solving this." With the panel left on *Causeway* (the default), surge 3 arrives on the causeway toward the held causeway dock during the evacuation window. DES102's written expedition should include the first-expedition, no-panel extraction: dock → culvert → yard → culvert → dock under the surge, with the dock's S2 hard-stop as the finish. If that trace holds on paper, the fairness claim holds; if it does not, the claim needs the culvert's exit moved or the sentence removed. |
| - | |
| - | ## What works in r4 / note 3 |
| - | |
| - | - **The tie-break was withdrawn for a better rule, not defended.** r3 proposed an override, the lead accepted it, r4 replaced it with the intake/path split, note 3 called its own acceptance moot. That is the collaboration behaving well. |
| - | - **Charge motes give kills a reason without XP.** The survivorlike pulse — fight, pick up, grow — is back, but the currency is fuel for experiments rather than power for its own sake. |
| - | - **Every fix so far has reused an existing rule** (conduction for the flooded dock, the sluice as the Flood's own way in, one sign asset rotated) rather than adding a mechanism. The system count has not grown since r2. |
| - | |
| - | ## Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
| - | |
| - | - Shepherd path-pull dominating corridor defence (both authors). |
| - | - *Off* as a trap for new players; the forecast marker must show the sluice as clearly as the branches (WLD101 r4). |
| - | - Everything listed under r2 and r3. |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — r4 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV101 — **review of the concept packet complete**, pending OWN101. **Artifact:** Design Review r4 (this page), In review; r3, r2, r1 retained. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** World and Mystery e54d6a; Design db8c5c (note 3 only; r2 body unchanged; confirmed by diff). Design Document still 404. Brief/Tasks unchanged. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. Verdict unchanged since r2. |
| - | - **Evidence:** written comparison; diff of db8c5c against ea4248. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** N10 (one word, one sentence) and Finding 5 (the DES102 table). Two live sessions of the lead role are still unnamed by PM. No working direction is recorded. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** PM records the working direction under OWN101; lead writes DES102 carrying the spine rule, W1–W4 (with N10 fixed), S1–S3, the r4 topology and note 3's items; I review DES102 against Tasks criteria 1–10 when it exists. **One exact PM request:** unchanged — record the working direction (A, B, or premise change) and confirm whether the spine rule, W1–W4 and S1–S3 are carried into DES102 as candidate rules. |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV101 r3 — retained verbatim (closed by r4 above) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV101 · r3 · 2026-09-06 13:55 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — addendum for WLD101 r3 and DES101 integration note 2, both saved before r2 could read them. r2 and r1 are retained verbatim below and in page history (47d51d, 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was re-reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | Changelog (local, UTC+3) | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | World and Mystery — WLD101 r3 | c92838 | 16:48:47 | 13:48:47 | Read Design c9b2ed and Design Review **r1 (7ad187)** — not r2 | |
| - | | Design — DES101 integration note 2 (r2 body unchanged) | ea4248 | 16:51:35 | 13:51:35 | Saved 14 s before REV101 r2 (47d51d) | |
| - | | Design Document — DES102 | — | 404 at 13:52 UTC | — | Not yet written | |
| - | | Brief a449b2, Tasks 254220, Team 3ddc81 | unchanged | | | OWN101 still open; no working direction recorded | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — unchanged: **ready for owner concept steering (OWN101)** |
| - | |
| - | Nothing in r3 or note 2 changes what "A" is; both tighten it. The carry-forward list for DES102 shrinks from six items to three-and-a-half, plus three new one-liners. |
| - | |
| - | ## Status of r2 carry-forwards after r3 / note 2 |
| - | |
| - | | Item | Response (where) | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **N1** two pulsing beacons, no priority | 438f1b→c92838 §"Spine rule × W1–W4" item 1: a planted beacon overrides fixed beacons while energised; W1 now "evaluated at the dispatch instant only". ea4248 accepts with two constraints: override applies only to dispatches that occur while it is powered, and a battery powers one module at a time. The world designer raised this from the lead's request, not from r2 — the hole was found twice independently, which is a good sign for the rule set. | **Mostly resolved.** Residual: the tie-break says which beacon *pulses*; it still does not say what "enters by" means for a planted beacon that is not at an intake — nearest intake then path to it, or must it be planted at an intake? One sentence in DES102. | |
| - | | **N2** stunned vs killed sheds charge | Not touched (Design page; note 2 does not address it) | **Open** — still the small contradiction that decides whether expedition one can charge anything | |
| - | | **N3** one dock in topology, two in the colony rule | c92838 §Topology restates "Elevated dock", singular; colony text still "which dock is held dry" | **Open** — both pages now carry the same omission | |
| - | | **N4** Off intake has no place | c92838 item 4 fixes Off's *effect* (darkens both branches, shuts both hatches, forecast default intake — "never a free pass"); its *location* is still unnamed | **Half resolved** — location is a one-liner | |
| - | | **N5** "coil optional" wording | r3 supersedes r2 in full and drops the line; note 2 accepts r3's item list, so c9b2ed §Integration's reference to "r2 items 1–6" is itself superseded | **Closed** (DES102 should cite r3's items, not r2's) | |
| - | | **N6** two build vocabularies | c92838 adopts electrician / hauler / shepherd | **Closed** | |
| - | | **r1 S5** labelled panel gives the rule away; fiction unanswered | c92838 §Understand: panel positions are cable headings plus a closed position, no words; the rule is learnable two independent ways (watch pulse→turn, or switch and watch the forecast marker jump); hints escalate. §"The reachable answer": a crew tally board and inked district plan in the pump hall, three or four inspectable lines, and it changes action (the inked route and W4 turned signs now point into the interior); the larger "what for" is reserved deliberately | **Resolved** — I had closed this as taste; the fix is better than what I asked for, because the second learning path (marker jump) answers the fairness risk the unlabelled panel would otherwise create | |
| - | | **r1 Finding 2** (re-confirmed) | c92838 §"Cost of diversion" answers the exact question: the beacon chooses the entrance of the *next announced* surge at the dispatch instant and never moves anything that has arrived. Four readable costs; "gather first, then divert" is conceded to work "once, for a closed yard" because the hatch, the salvage behind it and the answer all sit on the lit branch | **Resolved as design**; magnitude empirical, as both authors state | |
| - | | **r1 Finding 5** readable-state table | Still a DES102 commitment; r3 adds two inspectable props (tally board, plan) and reuses the sign rotated for W4 — the right instinct | **Open, correctly deferred** | |
| - | |
| - | ## New one-liners from r3 / note 2 (DES102 scope) |
| - | |
| - | - **N7 — A battery powers one module; which one when it touches two?** ea4248 proposes "a battery powers only one module at a time" to stop the shepherd luring and harvesting from one battery. Sound, and it tightens the rack. It needs one rule for the case where a battery touches two powered modules (player-designated, first placed, or nearest). *Missing design detail.* |
| - | - **N8 — The culvert sign.** c9b2ed §Topology: "a sign turned to the wall." c92838 W4 and §Compare: turned "to face the yard," and W4 makes the direction the clue. DES102 carries r3's version. *Contradiction (wording).* |
| - | - **N9 — Stale cross-reference.** c9b2ed §Integration adopts "438f1b contradiction-check items 1–6"; those are superseded by c92838's items 1–6, which ea4248 accepts. DES102 should cite r3 only. *Housekeeping.* |
| - | - **Expedition-example request, not a finding:** hatches are open only while powered (c9b2ed coil route; c92838 item 4). DES102's written expedition should show a player inside the pump hall when the invited surge arrives at the yard — where they go, and whether a hatch can shut with them inside. That is the moment the "key and lure" cost is paid, so the example should be that moment. |
| - | |
| - | ## What works in r3 / note 2, and why |
| - | |
| - | - **The two-path rule discovery.** Observation (pulse→turn) and intervention (switch→marker jump) both teach W1 without a label. A mystery that can be solved by *either* looking or trying is fair to both player temperaments, and it is the first place the packet makes experimentation itself a clue path. |
| - | - **The reachable answer changes action.** Tally board plus inked route plus W4: the fiction's answer is also a navigation tool. That is the Blue Prince aim as the Brief phrased it — an understood clue changes the next decision "rather than only reveal more text." |
| - | - **W4 is cheap.** One reused sign asset, rotated, becomes a district-wide clue vocabulary. This is the reuse strategy Tasks criterion 8 asks for, arrived at from the design side. |
| - | - **Off is not a safe default.** Closing both hatches makes "turn it off" a choice with a cost, which removes the last free position on the panel. |
| - | - **The lead accepted a correction to its own r2** (beacon light wording) and constrained its own new build (shepherd) rather than defending it. |
| - | |
| - | ## Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
| - | |
| - | - Whether the planted-beacon override reopens Finding 2 (both authors flag it; DES102's counterplay section is where it gets argued on paper, and play is where it gets settled). |
| - | - Whether the unlabelled panel is fair for players who never switch experimentally (mitigated by the marker-jump path and escalating hints). |
| - | - Pulse/turn correlation on a crowded survivorlike screen. |
| - | - Everything listed under r2. |
| - | |
| - | ## Coordination note |
| - | |
| - | WLD101 r3 was written against Design Review **r1**; REV101 r2's N2, N3 and N4 have not yet been seen by the world designer, and N2 belongs to the lead. No fault — the revisions crossed within minutes — but the next reads should be: world designer → Design Review r3 (this) for N3/N4; lead → N2, N3, N7, N8, N9. |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — r3 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV101. **Artifact:** Design Review r3 (this page), In review; r2 and r1 retained below. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** World and Mystery c92838; Design ea4248 (note 2 only; r2 body unchanged). Design Document still 404. Brief/Tasks unchanged. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. Verdict unchanged from r2. |
| - | - **Evidence:** written comparison of the two revisions against r2's findings; diff of ea4248 against c9b2ed to confirm only note 2 was added. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** the open items (N1 residual, N2, N3, N4 location, N7, N8, N9) are each one sentence and none blocks steering. Two live sessions of the lead role remain unnamed by PM. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** PM records the working direction under OWN101; lead starts DES102 carrying the open one-liners; world designer reads this r3 for N3/N4. I re-review DES102 when it exists; I will not issue further REV101 revisions for DES101/WLD101 unless a change is material, to avoid repetitive reports. **One exact PM request:** unchanged — record the working direction (A, B, or premise change) and confirm whether the spine rule, W1–W4 and S1–S3 are carried into DES102 as candidate rules. |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV101 r2 — retained verbatim (verdict restated by r3 above) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV101 · r2 · 2026-09-06 13:50 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — re-review of DES101 r2 and WLD101 r2. Supersedes the r1 verdict; r1 is retained in full below this section and in page history (7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was re-reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | Changelog stamp (local, UTC+3) | UTC | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | Design — DES101 r2 (+ integration note) | c9b2ed | 2026-09-06 16:39:22 | 13:39:22 | In review | |
| - | | World and Mystery — WLD101 r2 | 438f1b | 2026-09-06 16:28:22 | 13:28:22 | In review | |
| - | | Design Document — DES102 | — | 404 at 13:48 UTC | — | Not yet written | |
| - | | Brief a449b2, Tasks 254220, Team 3ddc81 | unchanged | | | No working direction recorded yet (OWN101 open) | |
| - | |
| - | ## Correction to r1 — Secondary 3 withdrawn |
| - | |
| - | In r1 I stated that the changelog stamps were UTC and that both DES101 r1 and WLD101 r1 cited read times earlier than the revisions they read. That was wrong. Verified at re-review: the wiki's HTTP `Date` header read 13:48:53 GMT while the changelog's newest entry showed 16:39:22, so the changelog displays local time, UTC+3, as DES101 r2 states and the Home page patch note ("15:30 and 15:50 UTC+3") indicates. Brief a449b2 was therefore saved at 13:05:31 UTC, and r1's "13:08:30 UTC" and WLD101 r1's "13:08:59 UTC" read times are consistent with it. The "still 404 on recheck" line in DES101 r1 (saved 13:11:59 UTC) against WLD101 r1 (saved 13:10:33 UTC) is a plausible 90-second gap, not a contradiction. The r1 table below is mislabelled "(UTC, wiki changelog)"; those stamps are UTC+3. No record contradiction exists. |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — **ready for owner concept steering (OWN101)** |
| - | |
| - | The two findings I said gated OWN101 (r1 Findings 1 and 2) are resolved, and resolved by reducing the system count rather than patching: beacons now sit on the same power circuit as hatches and lamps, so one rule decides what fights, what opens, where the Flood goes, how the rack packs, and which dock the colony holds dry. The concept the owner would steer is now the concept the page describes. The lead's stated reason for recommending A holds on the page; choosing A, B, or a premise change remains the owner's steer, not mine. |
| - | |
| - | This is a verdict on the *concept packet*. It is not a verdict on the integrated design document (DES102 does not exist) and it is not development authorization (Brief D007). Six carry-forward items for DES102 are listed under "New findings"; only N1 has build-space consequence, and none changes what "A" is. |
| - | |
| - | ## Status of r1 findings against r2 |
| - | |
| - | | r1 finding | r2 response (where) | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | 1 — integration removed A's spine | c9b2ed §"The spine rule": Conduction, Power, Attraction, Charge stated once; beacons are powered devices; setting unified as one "pumping-and-relay district"; r1 coordination note explicitly superseded (§Integration) | **Resolved** | |
| - | | 2 — free unlimited diversion | c9b2ed §Spine: "the powered branch is the branch the Flood comes to" — energising a branch to open its hatch invites the surge there; the panel stands in the open a dash from shelter; committed surges never turn back (W2); dock-side colony choice inverts which setting is safe; 438f1b item 4: diversion can block extraction | **Resolved as design**; whether the invited-surge cost is heavy enough is balance — the lead lists it under Risks, correctly | |
| - | | 3 — 2×3 rack never binds | c9b2ed §"The rack": wet salvage conducts; a charged battery leaks into a touching bundle; insulation is the only blocker. I re-checked the arithmetic: with a two-square coil adjacent to the battery in a 2×3 grid, the battery always has at least one further neighbour (one if in a corner, two if mid-edge), so "three bundles and a leak-free battery" is impossible and *where* the battery sits changes how many squares are exposed | **Resolved** — placement now has a readable consequence, and it mirrors the district rule | |
| - | | 4 — in-run growth unspecified | c9b2ed §"In-run growth": no kill XP; 2–4 modules from fixed placements, 2–6 bundles, charge from surges; "moderate, front-loaded arc by design"; handed to the owner as decision 3 | **Resolved as detail**; genre fit is the owner's judgment, as it should be (see N2 for a wording gap that touches this) | |
| - | | 5 — readable states vs free assets | c9b2ed §Presentation: steady = powered, pulsing = dispatching; wet/dry by tint; forecast as UI overlay; text inspection fallback; DES102 will table every readable state against its cheapest medium | **Open, correctly deferred** to DES102 | |
| - | | S1 — shelter rule | S1–S3 adopted identically in both pages; WLD101 r2 withdrew its own pause rule and said why | **Resolved** | |
| - | | S2 — colony is a queue | c9b2ed §"Gathering and colony": one exclusive standing choice (which dock is held dry) that flips which panel setting is safe; changing it costs a full return; "deliberately small" flagged to the owner | **Resolved** | |
| - | | S3 — timestamps | See correction above | **Withdrawn — my error** | |
| - | | S4 — three passages vs two branches | c9b2ed §Topology; three intakes named | **Resolved** (see N4 for the third intake's location) | |
| - | | S5 — labelled panel gives the rule away; fiction unanswered | 438f1b §Infer now reads intent ("someone kept the culvert in use by leaving the panel on Causeway"); item 6 reserves the larger question deliberately | **Closed as taste** — not carried | |
| - | |
| - | ## What works in r2, and why |
| - | |
| - | - **The fix reduced systems instead of adding one.** r1 had two machine families; r2 has one rule used four ways. That is the shape of correction that survives further design. |
| - | - **The rack leak mirrors district conduction.** The same lesson taught in two places is how a rule becomes player knowledge rather than a tooltip. |
| - | - **The signature interaction is now an experimentation example, not just a shortcut.** Three routes to the same hatch (panel, coil, bait) with three different costs (surge time, charge, exposure), and a legible failure mode: discharge during a dispatch pulse and the beacon fires anyway. That is the "plausible experiment fails for an understandable reason" case Tasks criterion 4 asks for, already on the page. |
| - | - **The colony choice inverts a known rule.** Which dock is dry flips which panel setting is safe — meta-progression that changes the value of learned knowledge without chores. |
| - | - **WLD101 r2 withdrew its own rule when it contradicted the schedule**, named the consequence, and marked the feel question as empirical. That is the honesty criterion working. |
| - | - **The lead surfaced a duplicated-session risk for its own role** to PM instead of leaving two sessions to collide (PM item below). |
| - | |
| - | ## New findings in r2 — priority order (all DES102 scope; none blocks OWN101) |
| - | |
| - | ### N1 — Two pulsing beacons, no priority rule |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** Design c9b2ed §Spine rule 3 ("a surge enters by the pulsing beacon"; "the district's one live circuit"); §Builds *Shepherd* ("portable beacon module plus battery; pulses while powered, so the next dispatch comes to wherever it is planted"); §Signature interaction, coil route ("if a dispatch pulse lands inside your discharge window the beacon fires"). |
| - | - **Claim:** attraction follows "the pulsing beacon", singular. |
| - | - **Why unclear:** r2 introduces up to three simultaneous power sources — the panel's circuit, a coil discharge, and the Shepherd's battery beacon — so two beacons can pulse at once, and nothing says which wins (nearest, strongest, first energised, or the surge splits). Separately, "enters by" (choice of intake) and "comes to wherever it is planted" (pathing after entry) are two different effects under one word. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the Shepherd — one third of the stated build space and the only build that manipulates routing after entry — has no defined behaviour, and the coil-route risk in the signature interaction depends on the same unstated rule. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one sentence in DES102, e.g. "A dispatch chooses the intake nearest the strongest pulsing beacon; after entry a surge paths toward the nearest pulsing beacon it can reach; a planted beacon therefore never changes the intake, only the path." Any consistent rule will do; the design needs exactly one. |
| - | |
| - | ### N2 — What sheds charge: stunned only, or killed too? |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** c9b2ed §Spine rule 4 ("Stunned organisms shed charge") versus §Comparison, decision 3 ("charge is the only kill yield") and §Rhythm, minutes 3–5 ("meet it at the causeway head for charge" — on a dry causeway, on expedition one, with the stated starting kit of cutter, empty battery, empty rack, and no coil). |
| - | - **Why it fails:** only the coil stuns. If only stunning sheds charge, a player who has not yet found a coil can never charge the battery, and the minute-3 rhythm row is impossible on a first expedition. If kills shed charge, rule 4 is missing a word. |
| - | - **Consequence:** decides whether the "front-loaded arc" can start before a coil is found — i.e. whether expedition one can power anything at all. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (three sentences; small). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** rewrite rule 4 to say which ("Stunned or killed organisms shed charge; stuns shed more"), and state how charge enters a battery without a coil (the cutter conducts; or charge is a pickup). |
| - | |
| - | ### N3 — Topology lists one dock; the colony rule needs two |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** c9b2ed §Topology ("Elevated dock") versus §"Gathering and colony" ("which dock it holds dry, causeway side or yard side"; "a surge sent toward your dock blocks extraction") and §Rhythm ("Reach the held dock"). |
| - | - **Why:** the exclusive colony choice exists only if both docks are in the district and one is flooded. |
| - | - **Consequence:** small, but this is the colony's only expressive choice; it must be on the map. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** add the second dock (flooded by default) to the topology line and say what a flooded dock does (unusable, or wet and therefore conducting). |
| - | |
| - | ### N4 — The Off intake has no place |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** c9b2ed §Topology ("Three intakes: Causeway, Yard, and the forecast's default when the panel is Off"); 438f1b W1 ("Off (the forecast's own default entrance)") and §Mapping ("Off ... restores the forecast's varying entrances"). |
| - | - **Why:** "default" is described once as a third intake and once as "varying entrances"; where it opens onto the district is unstated. |
| - | - **Consequence:** small; but Off is the setting that preserves A's "surges enter through different passages", so DES102 must place it. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** name the third intake's location, or state that Off selects among the existing intakes per forecast. |
| - | |
| - | ### N5 — "Coil optional" adopted alongside a coil-dependent spine |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** c9b2ed §Integration adopts 438f1b contradiction-check items 1–6 "as proposals"; item 2 reads "the coil is an optional extension"; but c9b2ed makes charge "the only fuel for powered experiments" and two of three builds use the coil. |
| - | - **Why:** WLD101 r2 was written against Design 4343a2 (it lists Design Review as 404 and predates c9b2ed), so item 2 reflects the superseded r1 position. |
| - | - **Consequence:** a reader cannot tell whether the coil is core or optional. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (cross-page wording). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** restate item 2 as "the false-refuge chain never *requires* the coil" — which both pages already guarantee (culvert dry without payment; panel needs no item) — when the world designer confirms against c9b2ed, which the lead has already requested. |
| - | |
| - | ### N6 — Two build vocabularies (minor) |
| - | |
| - | c9b2ed: Electrician / Hauler / Shepherd. 438f1b: Hauler / Explorer / Controller. Not contradictory (Controller ≈ Electrician; Explorer is a light Hauler), but DES102 should settle one set: the world designer's triad has no Shepherd and the lead's has no Explorer. |
| - | |
| - | ## Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
| - | |
| - | - Whether the invited-surge cost is heavy enough that the panel and the Shepherd's beacon do not dominate (the lead's own listed risk). |
| - | - Whether a fifteen-minute, three-surge expedition leaves observation time (WLD101 r2 lists this). |
| - | - Deadline anxiety versus planning. |
| - | - Readability of live water, current, and a surge's destination at survivorlike screen density; the DES102 table will narrow but not settle this. |
| - | - Battery leak rate and the charge economy. |
| - | - Whether a "moderate, front-loaded arc" reads as survivorlike — the owner's judgment first, then play. |
| - | |
| - | ## What I will check on DES102 |
| - | |
| - | Tasks criteria 1–10 in full, plus: N1–N6 closed; the Finding 5 readable-state table delivered with its owner-approval residue named; three builds with costs and counterplay in one vocabulary; the written failed experiment (already sketched in the signature interaction); one complete expedition and a later one changed by learning; the persistence table; the mystery example with spoilers marked; scope cuts; and the decisions the owner actually needs to make. |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — r2 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV101. **Artifact:** Design Review r2 (this page), In review. r1 retained below. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Design c9b2ed; World and Mystery 438f1b. Design Document still 404. Brief/Tasks unchanged. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. Verdict changed from r1's "revise before OWN101" to "ready for OWN101 concept steering", because the two gating findings are resolved on the page. |
| - | - **Correction:** r1 Secondary 3 withdrawn; the changelog is UTC+3, verified against the server's own clock. |
| - | - **Evidence:** written comparison of c9b2ed and 438f1b against Brief a449b2 and Tasks 254220; grid arithmetic re-verified for the leak rule; timezone verified with the HTTP `Date` header. No players, sessions, scores, or asset checks are claimed; nothing was built, prototyped, tested, or created. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** N1 is the only new gap with build-space consequence; it is DES102 scope. The lead reports two live sessions of its own role and asks PM to name which is canonical — PM should do that before DES102 starts, or the integrated draft may fork. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** PM records the working direction under OWN101; lead proceeds to DES102; world designer confirms the chain against c9b2ed's light convention and restates item 2 (N5); I re-review DES102 when saved. **One exact PM request:** record the working direction (A, B, or premise change) and confirm whether the spine rule, W1–W3 and S1–S3 are carried into DES102 as candidate rules. |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV101 r1 — original review, retained verbatim (verdict superseded by r2 above) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV101 · r1 · 2026-09-06 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** |
| - | |
| - | ## Acknowledgment |
| - | |
| - | Role: Independent Design Critic. First task: REV101. Own work page: this page. I reviewed Brief D011/D012 (Brief revision a449b2, saved 2026-09-06 16:05:31 UTC per the wiki changelog) and Tasks revision 254220 and Team revision 3ddc81. I acknowledge the design-only gate (Brief D007): this page is document critique only. I did not and will not build, prototype, simulate, run a spike, playtest, or create or request game assets. I do not own the design; every correction below is a question or a minimal change for the lead and world designer to accept, adapt or reject, not a replacement. |
| - | |
| - | **Labels used:** *Owner requirement* = Brief confirmed requirements / decision log. *Proposal* = a designer's suggestion. *Illustration* = a written scenario that can expose a contradiction but cannot prove feel, balance or enjoyment. *Empirical* = an unknown that writing cannot settle; recorded for later, not raised as a defect. |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | Saved (UTC, wiki changelog) | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | Design — DES101 r1 concept packet | c340f6 | 2026-09-06 16:11:59 | In review | |
| - | | Design — DES101 coordination handoff (WLD101 received) | 4343a2 | 2026-09-06 16:15:58 | In review | |
| - | | World and Mystery — WLD101 r1 | 01378d | 2026-09-06 16:10:33 | In review | |
| - | | Design Document — DES102 integrated draft | — | does not exist (404 at 2026-09-06 review) | Not reviewable | |
| - | |
| - | REV101 therefore covers DES101 and WLD101 only. The integrated document will be re-reviewed when it exists. No prior critique existed on this page; nothing here is inferred from other agents' activity beyond the saved revisions above. |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — **revise** (narrowly, before OWN101) |
| - | |
| - | The packet is substantive, honest about its unknowns, and compliant with the owner gate and asset rules. It is not blocked. It is not yet ready for owner steering, for one reason: the coordination note (Design r 4343a2) proposes an integration that removes the stated reason Concept A was recommended (Finding 1) and imports a free, unlimited enemy-routing control that is never reconciled with A's only escalating pressure (Finding 2). If the owner steers "A" now, the choice would not bind what "A" is. |
| - | |
| - | Smallest path forward: resolve Findings 1 and 2 with a short DES101 r2 (a few sentences each), then proceed to OWN101. Findings 3–5 are DES102 scope and should not delay steering. |
| - | |
| - | ## What already works, and why |
| - | |
| - | - **The pressure-versus-curiosity problem is answered by a rule, not a promise.** Design r c340f6 §A "Rhythm and tradeoff": "Thinking is free; obtaining new evidence spends exposure and route time." This is a stated, checkable principle that directly addresses the Brief's named central tension, and the coordination note keeps it ("New evidence and experiments occur in live play"). Whether it *feels* right is empirical; that it is *defined* is what this phase needs. |
| - | - **Gathering, route and meta-progression are causally joined in one rule.** Design r c340f6 §A "Inventory": a salvage bundle can power a local pump, draining a channel for a dry crossing "but forfeiting that colony contribution." One decision touches survival, route, cargo and colony. This is exactly the causal connection the mandate asks for and the best single rule in either document. |
| - | - **Kill farming is removed on purpose.** "Repeated kills yield no farmable progression" (both concepts). This commits the reward channel to exploration and discovery rather than grinding. It creates a gap (Finding 4) but the instinct is right. |
| - | - **The colony explicitly refuses chores.** "Exclude citizen schedules, hunger and passive stat grinding" (r c340f6 §A "Persistence and colony"). Correct reading of the Cult of the Lamb aim as *meta-progression*, not simulation. What remains is thin (Secondary 2) but nothing wrong was added. |
| - | - **WLD101's clue chain is the strongest section in the packet.** World and Mystery r 01378d §"Illustrative design": every clue is a physically observable, non-symbolic thing (a beacon flashing before groups turn; a dark beacon; cart wear; a sign turned to the wall; visible wiring). The knowledge-gate versus item-gate distinction is explicit, the recovery path is specified (committed groups stay put and the display says why; journal keeps facts after death; hints escalate; withdrawal never requires the solution), and replay after the answer is addressed. This is a fair mystery in the sense the Team quality bar demands. |
| - | - **W3 — Stable evidence** is a small rule with large value: variation may change the best route "never the rule." This is what lets learned knowledge persist as *player* knowledge rather than a journal flag. |
| - | - **Neither document invents anything it is not allowed to invent.** No playtests, no asset availability, no teammates, no approvals. Scope cuts are stated as content boundaries "not a feasibility claim." This is the honesty criterion (Tasks §10) met. |
| - | - **The lead flagged its own contradiction** (shelter versus landing rules, r 4343a2) instead of papering over it. Good practice; Secondary 1 only sharpens what must be decided. |
| - | |
| - | ## Five most consequential findings |
| - | |
| - | ### Finding 1 — The proposed integration removes the reason A was recommended |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** Design r c340f6 §"Recommendation, risks and PM handoff" and §A "Discovery and signature interaction"; Design r 4343a2 §"Lead's written assessment". |
| - | - **Claim:** r c340f6 recommends A because "A makes one environmental rule serve combat, access and route timing." The rule that does that work is the water/current rule: a valve joins channels, "connected water carries power," the coil stuns enemies in the channel and powers the hatch, insulation protects the wearer. r 4343a2 then proposes WLD101's beacon-attraction chain as "the candidate central mystery for DES102" and "treating the coil interaction as an optional environmental experiment." |
| - | - **Why it fails:** The recommendation's only stated advantage over B is transferred to an optional subsystem, and a second environmental rule with no causal link to the first (relay beacons, WLD101 W1–W2) is promoted into the centre. Nothing in W1–W3 depends on wet or dry ground, power, the coil, insulation or pumps; nothing in A's coil chain depends on beacons, pulses or group destinations. The settings are also unreconciled: "derelict pumping district" (r c340f6 §A) versus "abandoned relay district" (r 01378d §Proposal). The lead's own caution — "Review scope before including both machine types" — names the problem but does not resolve it. |
| - | - **Consequence:** OWN101 would ask the owner to steer "A" while A's defining rule is being demoted. Two independent machine families in one compact district is the "several reference-inspired systems with no causal connection" failure the critic brief warns against, and roughly doubles the readable-state burden in Finding 5. |
| - | - **Category:** Contradiction (between revisions c340f6 and 4343a2 of the same page). |
| - | - **Minimal change / question:** Before OWN101, state one spine rule and derive the other from it, or drop one. Concrete question for the lead and world designer: **can the beacon relay run on the same channel rule** — a beacon only broadcasts while its channel is energised, so opening a valve, draining a channel, or discharging the coil is *also* how the player changes where the Flood goes? That keeps WLD101's false-refuge chain intact, keeps the "one rule serves combat, access and routing" claim true, and is one sentence. If rejected, say plainly which rule is optional and rewrite the recommendation paragraph to match. |
| - | |
| - | ### Finding 2 — Free, unlimited diversion versus A's only escalating pressure |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** World and Mystery r 01378d §"Proposed world rules" W1/W2, §Illustrative "Experiment" row, §"Fair recovery"; Design r c340f6 §A "Actions and pressure". |
| - | - **Claim:** A's pressure is "Three announced enemy surges enter through different passages, making direct routes increasingly dangerous." W1 gives a Road/Yard/Off selector that redirects approaching unengaged groups. The Experiment row states this requires no "item, stat, resource payment, or journal flag"; §"Fair recovery" states "Free switching permits another observation on subsequent pulses." |
| - | - **Why it fails:** No cost, cooldown, use limit, distance, or contested state is specified for the selector, and neither document says how it interacts with A's *announced* surge entrances — whether the beacon overrides the forecast or only picks between two of three passages (WLD101's district has two branches; A has three passages). W2's commitment rule constrains only *late* switches; a player who sets the branch before each pulse pays nothing. |
| - | - **Consequence:** The dominant line is "always divert the next group to the half of the district I am not using," which converts A's escalating three-surge structure into a schedule the player disarms for free. The stated counter-cost — r 01378d §"Resources": "diversion trades safer transit for harder salvage collection" — only binds if the player must gather in the diverted branch during the same interval; nothing stated prevents gathering the yard first and diverting afterwards. This is the "one obviously dominant strategy" failure, and it also erodes the false-refuge mystery's *consequence*, since the answer becomes a free switch rather than a decision. |
| - | - **Category:** Missing design detail, with a contradiction between W1's free selector and A's stated escalation. |
| - | - **Minimal change / question:** Name the cost that makes diversion a decision. Two cheap candidates, either of which preserves WLD101's chain: (a) the selector is at a fixed junction, so switching costs the travel to reach it and exposes the branch you are standing in when the pulse fires; (b) diversion is committed for the rest of the expedition, not per pulse, so choosing which branch absorbs pressure is a once-per-outing plan. Question to answer before OWN101: **does the beacon choose the entrance of an announced surge, or only reroute groups after they have arrived?** The answer determines whether A's surge schedule is still the pressure. |
| - | |
| - | ### Finding 3 — The 2×3 rack cannot produce a placement decision |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** Design r c340f6 §A "Inventory, builds and gathering". |
| - | - **Claim:** "A proposed 2-by-3 equipment rack also holds salvage: each bundle occupies one square. Powered modules must share an edge with a one-square battery." Modules named: two-square coil (powered), one-square insulation, one-square battery; a cutter needing no rack space. |
| - | - **Why it fails:** Six cells, one adjacency rule, one battery, one powered module. In a 2×3 grid a battery is edge-adjacent to up to three cells, and a two-square coil can be placed beside it in nearly every orientation; the constraint essentially never binds. The only decision the section actually describes is scalar — spend four squares on coil + battery + insulation, or carry six salvage bundles. *Where* things go never changes an outcome. |
| - | - **Consequence:** The inventory invokes the Backpack Hero aim (Brief §Inspiration map: "inventory management as expression") but delivers a single power-versus-cargo dial plus per-expedition repacking at shelters — the "inventory busywork" outcome, with UI cost and no expressive choice. It also under-delivers Tasks criterion 4 ("at least three genuinely different build examples") when DES102 arrives, since only one axis currently exists. WLD101's build contribution (r 01378d §"Build expression") is explicitly "proposed behaviors, not established abilities" and does not add an axis. |
| - | - **Category:** Missing design detail; taste judgment on whether a grid is the right form. |
| - | - **Minimal change / question:** Either (a) give the grid a second constraint that can *conflict* with the first — modules with shapes, a battery that powers only a limited number of adjacent modules, insulation that must touch the coil it protects, or damage that destroys a specific square — and show one arrangement where two desirable modules cannot both be placed; or (b) drop the grid, use B's named sockets plus a cargo count, and say in one line that spatial packing was cut. Question: **is there any arrangement under the current rules where a player wants two modules and cannot fit both?** If not, the grid is presentation and should be labelled or removed. |
| - | |
| - | ### Finding 4 — In-run progression is denied for kills and unspecified for everything else |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** Design r c340f6 §A "Actions and pressure" ("Combat protects movement; repeated kills yield no farmable progression") and §A "Persistence and colony" ("Starting equipment is reissued; found modules, cargo, enemies, pumps and surge state reset"). |
| - | - **Claim:** Modules are "found" during an expedition and reset afterwards; repacking requires a shelter; kills give nothing. |
| - | - **Why it remains unclear:** The document never states where found modules come from (drops, fixed rooms, salvage conversion, machinery), how many an expedition yields, or whether the player becomes meaningfully stronger between surge one and surge three. The genre is an owner requirement (Brief D005: survivorlike) and is conventionally defined by an in-run power curve; the owner-named reference Deep Rock Galactic: Survivor has one. A reader cannot tell whether an expedition is an escalating build arc or a fixed-loadout extraction trip against a rising threat. |
| - | - **Consequence:** The survivorlike requirement cannot be assessed from the packet. Depending on the unstated answer, the third surge is either unsurvivable (no growth) or trivial (unbounded growth). It also decides whether the rack's cargo-versus-power tradeoff tightens or loosens over a run, which Finding 3 depends on. |
| - | - **Category:** Missing design detail; owner-requirement legibility risk (D005). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** One paragraph in DES102 stating what the player gains inside a single expedition, from what source, at roughly what rate, and how that curve is meant to sit against surges one, two and three. If the intended answer is "very little, and that is the point," say so plainly so the owner judges it against the survivorlike requirement now rather than discovering it later. |
| - | |
| - | ### Finding 5 — Readability demands concentrate exactly where free assets are least likely to fit |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** Design r c340f6 §A (blinking paired lamps, discrete wet/dry channel states, live current, visible surge entrances) and §Unresolved ("unclear water/current feedback"; "Presentation must fit verified existing free assets; none have been shortlisted or licensed here"); World and Mystery r 01378d §"Content/assets" ("Essential readable states, wiring, destinations, cart wear, and signs create asset needs; no compatible free set or terms are verified"). |
| - | - **Claim:** Both documents defer presentation to verified existing free assets, none identified. |
| - | - **Why it is a risk rather than an error:** Both authors correctly decline to invent availability or terms; that is compliant, and I am not asking for asset work. The issue is that nearly every state the design leans on is a *project-specific readable condition* — this channel is energised and will hurt you; this beacon is the live one; this group is committed to the yard; the next surge enters here — not a generic character, tile or prop. Free packs commonly supply the latter; they do not supply the former. So the design's core comprehension load falls into the category most likely to need authored art, which Brief D009 requires to be rare, minimal and owner-approved. |
| - | - **Consequence:** Either scope pressure toward authored art and an owner approval request, or a fallback to text and UI readouts, which changes the feel of a survivorlike. Finding 1, if unresolved, doubles this burden by keeping two machine families. This is a decision better made before DES102 fills a district with machinery. |
| - | - **Category:** Missing design detail with scope consequence; not an owner-requirement violation. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** In DES102, a short table: each state the player must read → the cheapest medium that could plausibly carry it (tint/colour, particle or animation on a reused prop, UI overlay, diegetic readout, or authored art) → whether it would need an owner approval request. WLD101 §"Content/assets" already points this way ("propose existing-prop or plain-text inspection alternatives"); the correction is to do it per state, now, and name the residue that would need approval. No asset is to be sourced or made in this phase. |
| - | |
| - | ## Secondary findings (real, but not in the top five) |
| - | |
| - | 1. **Shelter safety rule is still open — sharpen what must be decided.** Design r c340f6 §A: "Shelters stop attacks." Design r 4343a2 §"Specific rule difference": proposed integration requires "clearing or evading pursuers before repacking or using the landing's observation position," under which shelters do *not* stop attacks. A's rhythm ("reach a shelter and reconsider") depends on which is true. *Category:* contradiction, already flagged by the lead. *Minimal change:* one sentence in DES101 r2 or DES102 stating whether a shelter is a hard stop or a no-spawn zone that must be cleared. |
| - | 2. **Colony choice is an ordering delay, not a decision.** Design r c340f6 §A "Persistence and colony": workshop or dock repair, "Limited salvage delays the other." Concept B likewise: "Both remain attainable." Tasks criterion 6 asks for the colony loop's "actual decisions and cost." A choice whose branches both resolve is a queue; salvage's only meta use is feeding it, which is the "gathering grind" risk in a mild form. *Category:* missing design detail. *Minimal change:* make one standing colony choice exclusive or reversible only at real cost so it shapes expeditions differently, or tell the owner plainly that meta-progression is deliberately minimal against the Cult of the Lamb aim and ask whether that is acceptable. |
| - | 3. **Provenance timestamps precede the revisions they cite.** Design r c340f6: "Read Brief D011/D012 at 2026-09-06 13:08:30 UTC." World and Mystery r 01378d: "Brief reread: 2026-09-06 13:08:59 UTC," citing Brief a449b2. Per the wiki changelog, Brief a449b2 — the revision introducing D011/D012 — was saved at 16:05:31 UTC. Also r c340f6 (saved 16:11:59) states "World and Mystery ... still returned 404 on recheck," but r 01378d was saved at 16:10:33. Process-record errors, not design errors; they matter because both documents rest their credibility on precise provenance. *Category:* contradiction (record). *Minimal change:* correct or remove the timestamps. |
| - | 4. **Three passages versus two branches.** r c340f6 §A: three surges through different passages; r 01378d W1: Road/Yard/Off. Part of Findings 1–2; DES102 should state the district's actual topology once. |
| - | 5. **The false-refuge panel gives the rule away; the fiction has no answer.** r 01378d §Illustrative "Understand": the selector is "plainly labeled Road / Yard / Off" and "its display shows the next pulse and current group's committed destination." Fairness is well served, but the mechanical inference ("perhaps the beacon attracts the Flood") is largely read off the label, and the narrative question ("who used it remains unresolved") is left without a reachable answer. Neither half fully lands as *discovery*. *Category:* taste judgment. *Minimal change:* keep the destination display (it carries fairness of consequence) but let the player correlate pulse → turn before the label makes sense (worn label, or the display reads only after the first observed pulse); and give the fiction one reachable answer, even a small one. |
| - | |
| - | ## Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
| - | |
| - | These cannot be settled by writing and should not delay this phase. |
| - | |
| - | - Whether a player can notice and correlate a beacon pulse with a group's turn (r 01378d "Notice") while a surge is inbound and basic attacks are automatic. The design gives structural room — inter-surge scouting, a cleared landing, a free notebook pause — so this is feel, not a gap. |
| - | - Whether "thinking is free; evidence costs exposure" produces curiosity or hesitation in play. |
| - | - Whether removing kill rewards leaves enough moment-to-moment survivorlike satisfaction (depends on Finding 4's answer). |
| - | - Balance of any diversion cost chosen under Finding 2. |
| - | - Readability of energised water and current at survivorlike screen density (the lead already lists this). |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV101. **Artifact:** Design Review r1 (this page), In review. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Design c340f6 + 4343a2 (DES101 r1 and coordination note); World and Mystery 01378d (WLD101 r1). DES102 does not exist; not reviewed. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none. Nothing canonical altered; no rule replaced. |
| - | - **Evidence / reasoning:** written comparison of the saved revisions against Brief a449b2 requirements and Tasks 254220 criteria; wiki changelog for revision times; grid-adjacency reasoning in Finding 3 is arithmetic on the stated rules. No players, sessions, scores, or asset checks are claimed. |
| - | - **Recommendation:** revise — narrowly. Resolve Findings 1 and 2 in a short DES101 r2 before OWN101; Findings 3–5 and Secondary 1–5 belong in DES102. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** if the owner steers on the current packet, the steered concept is underdetermined (Finding 1). Everything under "empirical validation" stays unknown until the owner authorizes a later phase; I am not requesting that. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead and world designer respond on their pages; PM decides whether DES101 r2 precedes OWN101. I will re-review DES101 r2 and DES102 when saved. **One exact PM request:** confirm whether Findings 1–2 gate OWN101, or whether PM prefers to take the packet to the owner as-is with those two findings attached. |
| hold the flood/design review/archive/rev102.md .. /dev/null | |
| @@ 1,530 0,0 @@ | |
| - | # Hold the Flood — Design Review / Archive / REV102 |
| - | |
| - | *Looking for one finding? Every one is summarised in a line on the [Findings index](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Findings).* |
| - | |
| - | **Superseded revisions of REV102, the independent critique of the integrated design document, retained verbatim. Not current.** The current review, REV103, is on [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review); if a statement here disagrees with it, the parent page wins. REV101's superseded revisions are on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive). One archive page per review task, at the wiki editor's suggestion; started by the critic on 2026-09-06 when REV102 r3 superseded r2; r3 added when r4 superseded it; r4 added when r5 superseded it; r5 added when r6 superseded it; r6 added when REV103 r1 superseded it, closing REV102. |
| - | |
| - | Each revision is also in page history: [REV102 r6 538724](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=538724) · [REV102 r5 e2db8b](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=e2db8b) · [REV102 r4 041852](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=041852) · [REV102 r3 382607](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=382607) · [REV102 r2 82a96b](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=82a96b) · [REV102 r1 4dde90](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=4dde90). |
| - | |
| - | **On this page:** [r6](#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) · [r5](#rev102-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r6) · [r4](#rev102-r4-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r5) · [r3](#rev102-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r4) · [r2](#rev102-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r3) · [r1](#rev102-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r2) |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV102 r6 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV103 r1) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV102 · r6 · 2026-09-06 15:52 UTC · Independent Design Critic · Accepted, ready verdict declined (PMR002); REV103 assigned, blocked on the revised DES103** — a closing correction to REV102's record, not a review of a new revision. PMR002 declined the "ready for owner review" verdicts this page gave at r2 and r3, and on the evidence it was right to. The contradictions it cites are verified below against the current document (r8) in the present tense, together with what r8 has already fixed and what REV103 will do differently. REV102 r5–r1 are on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV102 r5 e2db8b · r4 041852 · r3 382607 · r2 82a96b · r1 4dde90 · REV101 r8 11bd4d · r7 bb6871 · r6 a89227 · r5 d3679b · r4 3fd6df · r3 698c13 · r2 47d51d · r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was checked |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **PM Reviews — PMR002**; Tasks; Hub | [PMR002](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Pm%20Reviews/Pmr002); 95db05; e05454 | 15:36–15:38 | Reviewed DES102 r6, WLD r13 and REV102 r3. Verdict: revise before PM recommends owner approval. REV102 accepted as delivered; its ready verdict declined. REV103 assigned to this role, blocked on the revised DES103 | |
| - | | **Design Document — DES103 r2 (document r8)** | d37cbf (r7 44984c) | 15:33 | Written before PMR002 and before REV102 r5; fixes REV102-10, -11, -12 and the cable vocabulary as EXT102 X21/X22 proposed; does not address PMR002 1–5 or REV102-13 | |
| - | | Brief 28fb1c, Team cbf8d7, World and Mystery e2d4b4 | unchanged | | | |
| - | |
| - | ## The correction |
| - | |
| - | REV102 r2 (on draft r3) and r3 (on draft r5) said the document was ready for owner review as the DES103 base. PMR002 finds three sets of contradictions that were present in r3 and r5, in sections this page said it had traced. Each is verified here against r8, where every one still stands: |
| - | |
| - | | PMR002 | The sentences, in r8 | Why it is a contradiction | This page's record | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **1a** — the coil route in §1 | "The water carries the current to the hatch and it opens for a few seconds… **The yard stays dark.**" (§1, coil route) | §4 clause 2 puts the hatch and the yard beacon on one circuit; energised water lights the beacon steady for those seconds. §8 says so itself ("So does the yard beacon: it lights steady, because it is on the same wet circuit"). §1 and §8 disagree | Missed at r1–r5 | |
| - | | **1b** — the failed experiment in §8 | "Surge one, which follows the nearest lit beacon it can reach, **turns off the causeway and comes to the yard**" while the panel is still on causeway | The crowd is gathered *at* the lit causeway beacon; under "nearest lit beacon it can reach" its present beacon is nearer than the coil-lit yard. The scene's result is impossible under the rule it quotes. World r13's qualification ("any crowd nearer to B2 than to its own lit beacon") is the consistent version: the coil-lit yard draws stragglers and thinned organisms nearer to it, not the gathered crowd | Missed at r1–r5; the §8 lesson was checked, the movement claim was not | |
| - | | **1c** — precedence | "A surge whose beacon goes dark spreads along its branch at once, both ways" (§4), unconditioned; the plain-terms bullet two lines later has crowds walking to the new light | One sentence: retarget when another lit beacon is reachable; spread when none is | Not raised here | |
| - | | **1d** — the junction lamp | "crowds can be drawn toward the junction while its lamp is lit" (§8, §11) | Nothing says whether the pool's lamp is a beacon. If every lit lamp lures, say so and price it; if not, remove the claim | Not raised here | |
| - | | **2a** — §12's rack | "Rack now: coil, battery, three bundles, one slot empty" | Two plus one plus three is six of six; there is no empty slot. A seventh cell is claimed | Missed at r1–r5; the charge was traced, the slots were not counted | |
| - | | **2b** — §13's cargo | Starts as the electrician (`C C B / S S I`, two bundle slots), "gathers two bundles", ends "Extraction with three bundles" | Seven slots in a six-slot rack; the third bundle is never picked up | Missed at r1–r5 | |
| - | | **2c** — the hauler | "never opens a powered door" | The panel is free and opens one; the sacrifice is portable power and harvesting, not doors | Not raised here | |
| - | | **3** — hours | "ten to twelve expeditions… about fifteen minutes each… roughly three to four hours" (§11) | Ten to twelve times fifteen minutes is two and a half to three hours; the rest is unspecified overhead and should be labelled as such | Not raised here | |
| - | |
| - | REV102 r5's own "revise" verdict on r7, for the arc, stands, but it was reached without seeing these; r2 and r3's "ready" verdicts are withdrawn. The verdicts were wrong for a specific reason that is correctable: this page traced charge and routing across the scenes and read slot counts, lit circuits and durations for plausibility instead of tallying them per beat. **For REV103 the method changes:** for each written expedition, a per-beat ledger — slots occupied and by what, links, drips, battery units, beacons lit and by what, each crowd's nearest lit beacon, door states, and elapsed time — built by this role from the rules before reading the prose, and the verdict given only against that ledger. That is the check that would have caught 1a, 1b, 2a and 2b, and it is in this role's mandate ("undefined rules hidden by confident language"). |
| - | |
| - | ## What r8 already fixes, verified |
| - | |
| - | | Item | Where | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV102-10 — "fills a battery" | §4 clause 4: "adds its charge to a battery in your rack, up to the battery's capacity; with no battery, or a full one, the charge is lost" | **Resolved** | |
| - | | REV102-11 — the electrician's loop | §6: "With one battery it breaks even… The electrician who wants a profit carries a second battery in place of a bundle… the printed rack in section 5 is the break-even version" | **Resolved**; PMR002 2's note that the two-battery layout also needs leak accounting applies to it | |
| - | | REV102-12 — the arc's bound | §6: the drain is now a full battery in about ten seconds, "set above what the cutter alone can earn"; the bound is restated as the surge (once-per-organism) | **Resolved as stated**; PMR002 2 asks further for the fuel policy — whether an active battery can be recharged mid-burst — which r8 does not state | |
| - | | REV102-7 — one cable vocabulary | "cable" throughout; one Appendix A entry | **Resolved** | |
| - | | REV102-13 — the arc undrawn, unplayed, cost unstated | No loadout carries an A; neither scene uses it; no §14 row | **Open** — PMR002 2's "specify the arc's fuel policy and show early/middle/late changes" is the same requirement from PM's side | |
| - | |
| - | ## What REV103 will review, when the revised DES103 exists |
| - | |
| - | PMR002 findings 1–4 and criteria 1–11, on the exact revision, including unchanged surrounding examples, with the per-beat ledgers above; REV102-13; the hours label; the junction lamp's status; the tier-three chain and each ending's consequences (World's, checked in the document). A present-tense verdict with evidence; no pre-approval. Nothing is posted before that revision exists except a PM correction. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV102 r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r6) · [r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r4-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r5) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r4) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r2) · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) · [r7](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r7-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r8) · [r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r7) · [r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r5-retained-verbatim-note-on-pm-policy-and-clarity-questions-r1) · [r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r4-retained-verbatim-closing-addendum-for-the-concept-packet) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r3-retained-verbatim-closed-by-r4-above) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r2-retained-verbatim-verdict-restated-by-r3-above) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r1-original-review-retained-verbatim-verdict-superseded-by-r2-above). |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17 | REV101 r1–r7 | Resolved, closed, or delivered in DES102 | |
| - | | REV102-1 to -9 | REV102 r1–r4 | Resolved at DES102 r3–r5 and DES103 r1 | |
| - | | REV102-10, -11, -12 | REV102 r5 | **Resolved at DES103 r2 (r8)** | |
| - | | REV102-13 — the arc: undrawn, unplayed, cost and fuel policy unstated | REV102 r5 | **Open** — carried into REV103 with PMR002 2 | |
| - | | PMR002 1a–1d, 2a–2c, 3 (hours) | PM, verified here | **Open** — REV103 | |
| - | | REV102 r2/r3 "ready" verdicts | — | **Withdrawn** | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV102 r6 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV102 closed as delivered; ready verdicts withdrawn; REV103 acknowledged, blocked on the revised DES103. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV102 r6 (this page); r5 moved to the REV102 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Checked:** PMR002 in full; Tasks 95db05; Design Document d37cbf against PMR002 1–3 and REV102-10 to -13, by grep and by re-reading the cited sentences. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role; two of its own verdicts withdrawn. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the r8 sentences quoted above; the slot arithmetic; the hours arithmetic. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** that REV103 repeats the method that missed these; the ledger discipline above is the mitigation, and PM can hold this role to it. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead and world designer — DES103 r3 against PMR002 1–5 and REV102-13; then REV103 on that exact revision. **One exact PM request:** none; the assignment is clear. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV102 r5 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV102 r6) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV102 · r5 · 2026-09-06 15:40 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — critique of **DES103 r1, the Design Document at revision r7**, against criteria 1–11 and PMU002. Written against r7 specifically, as PM Reviews asks; nothing is inherited from the verdicts on r3–r6. REV102 r4–r1 are on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV102 r4 041852 · r3 382607 · r2 82a96b · r1 4dde90 · REV101 r8 11bd4d · r7 bb6871 · r6 a89227 · r5 d3679b · r4 3fd6df · r3 698c13 · r2 47d51d · r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Design Document — DES103 r1 (document r7)** | 44984c (r6 12779d) | 15:25 | Diffed against r6 in full; saved nine seconds after REV102 r4 and written without it — and it resolves REV102-7, -8 and -9 anyway | |
| - | | PM Reviews — PMU002 checkpoint | a2beab | 15:22 | "Do not inherit a critic verdict written against a different revision"; next full PM review still due | |
| - | | World and Mystery — WLD102 r14 | e2d4b4 | 15:27 | PMU002 applied; no rule or chain change | |
| - | | External Critique — EXT102 (r6) | 3148bb | 15:28 | A teammate's critique of the same r7 under criterion 11; its two internal-consistency findings (X21, X22) verified independently below | |
| - | | Brief 28fb1c, Tasks 137028, Team cbf8d7 | unchanged | | | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — **revise: one bounded pass on the arc, then the owner packet** |
| - | |
| - | r7 does what PMU002 asked. The owner page leads with one recommendation; §17 proposes one experience and prices every departure; observed data and prediction are kept apart; the review-count line is gone; the cable pair has one entry; the two unsupported commercial claims are withdrawn. Criteria 1–11 are met in structure, and REV102-7, -8 and -9 are resolved. |
| - | |
| - | The recommendation now rests on one module — the arc, moved into the minimum scope as "how the design is one" survivorlike — and that module is the least specified thing in the document. It is never drawn in a loadout, never played in a scene, its rack cost under the document's own link rule is unstated, and the sentence that bounds it says the opposite of what the document's rates compute. Two related charge sentences contradict the unit arithmetic. All four fixes are small; together they are the difference between a recommendation and an assertion, so the pass is required before the owner reads it. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV102 r4 items against r7 |
| - | |
| - | | Item | Where resolved | Verified | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV102-7 — cable pair named twice | Appendix A: one entry, "Power cable / signal cable: the two lines the panel switches…"; the body still uses both "line" and "cable", which the entry now covers | **Resolved** | |
| - | | REV102-8 — unsupported playtime inference | §17 decision 4: the measures are named, their limits stated ("playtime at review is not completion length, so these figures cannot set a minimum length… the price of eleven chosen examples is not a rule"), the prediction labelled as one | **Resolved** | |
| - | | REV102-9 — "nine rounds… certifies" | Owner page: "An independent critic has reviewed this document and found it consistent, honest about its unknowns, and readable cold; that is not evidence that it is fun, balanced or saleable, and nothing here claims so" | **Resolved** — accurate as of r5; after this review, accurate again once REV102-10 to -13 are fixed | |
| - | |
| - | ## The four issues, in priority order |
| - | |
| - | ### REV102-13 — The arc carries the survivorlike claim and is never drawn, never played, and its cost is unstated |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** owner page ("whose payoff moment… exists as a spend of that charge through the arc module, which this revision moves into the minimum scope"); §6 ("that is why the arc is in the minimum and not on a menu"); §17 ("The recommendation is the game described in this document with the arc module in its minimum scope"). **Versus** §5's three drawn loadouts (electrician `C C B / S S I`, hauler, shepherd — none carries an A), §12 and §13 (neither scene uses it), §14's table (no row for its chaining cue), and §5's link rule ("you draw one link from each battery to the one module it powers"; repacking, and so relinking, "only in shelters", §2). |
| - | - **Why it fails:** under the document's own rules the arc needs a battery of its own. An electrician who wants the mowing moment carries coil, insulation, two batteries and the arc — six slots, no cargo — or relinks a single battery from coil to arc at a shelter, which the scenes never show. That is a real and interesting cost, and it is the cost of the one feature the recommendation depends on. Criterion 4 asks for builds with costs and counterplay; criterion 7 asks that the central systems appear in the written expeditions. The document's own standard for the coil — drawn, priced, played twice — is not met for the module it now says makes the game its genre. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the owner is asked to approve a survivorlike on the strength of a payoff moment that exists only as a paragraph. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail; criterion 4 and 7. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one drawn loadout with the arc and its link (and what it gives up); one row in §14 (current jumping body to body — the live cue, engine-drawn); and a few lines in §13 where the player spends a harvested battery through the arc into the second surge at the hall door. No new rule is needed. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV102-12 — The arc's stated bound is not what its rates compute (EXT102 X22, verified) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §6: "draining the battery over about twenty seconds… bounded by the finite-charge rule so it cannot be sustained." §3: "About three hits kill one organism, at roughly two hits a second." §5: "A kill mote is one unit"; a battery holds ten. |
| - | - **Why it fails:** ten units over twenty seconds is half a unit a second of drain; the cutter alone kills two thirds of an organism a second, a mote each, before the arc's chaining multiplies kills. On the document's numbers the arc funds itself while there are organisms to kill and motes underfoot. What actually bounds it is that each organism sheds once per expedition and that motes must be walked over while fighting — real bounds, and different ones. As written, the sentence that reassures the owner the payoff "cannot be sustained" is contradicted by the page before it. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (claim versus stated rates); criterion 10. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** state the true bound ("bounded by the number of organisms that have not yet shed this expedition, and by having to pick up motes inside the crowd; charge alone does not bound it"), or change the drain rate and say so. Numbers stay proposals either way; the claim must match them. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV102-11 — The electrician's loop "pays" only with a battery the printed rack does not carry (EXT102 X22, verified) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §6: "A surge of forty stunned in water yields four large motes, twenty units, **two full batteries**… So the electrician's loop, harvest a surge to fund the next discharge, **pays**…" §5: a discharge spends the whole battery; the electrician's rack `C C B / S S I` holds one battery, ten units. §13 at 7:50: discharge, harvest, "battery full again" — break-even. |
| - | - **Why it fails:** with one battery the loop returns exactly what it spent, and the other ten units fade uncollected. It pays only with two batteries — `C C B / B S I` — at the price of one bundle of cargo against the hauler's six. The document's own scene shows the break-even case and its own prose claims the profitable one. |
| - | - **Consequence:** small in itself, and a good tension the document does not know it has: the electrician's profit is a slot decision, which is exactly what the rack is for. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (internal); criterion 4. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** in §6, "with one battery the harvest refills what the discharge spent; with two, it pays" — and let the electrician's counterplay note say so. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV102-10 — "Walking over one fills a battery" contradicts the unit arithmetic (EXT102 X21, verified) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §4 clause 4 ("walking over one fills a battery in your rack") versus §5 ("A battery holds ten units… A kill mote is one unit") and every scene ("two motes… the battery shows two units"). |
| - | - **Why it fails:** a rule sentence says what the numbers and the scenes deny. The sentence is inherited from the concept packet, written before units existed. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (wording). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** "walking over one adds its charge to a battery in your rack." |
| - | |
| - | ## Criterion 11 — met in structure; one line the External Critic is right about |
| - | |
| - | The intended player, the distinctive experience, the concrete combat and progression design, the designed length and a labelled positioning hypothesis are all present, combined into one recommendation with priced departures, with observed data and prediction separated and no proxy conclusions. EXT102's remaining criterion-11 point — that §1 names two audiences joined by "and", which describes who might tolerate the game rather than who is underserved without it — is a fair reading of "identify the intended player"; one sentence naming one audience would meet it. That is the lead's call under PM's disposition of EXT102, not a finding here. |
| - | |
| - | ## What works in r7, and why |
| - | |
| - | - **The owner page is now a recommendation, not a list of cautions.** A stranger reads what game this is, who it is for, what it costs, what is unknown, and where to look, on one page, with no codes. |
| - | - **§17 is one experience with departures priced**, which is what PMU002 asked for and what an owner can actually decide against. |
| - | - **The commercial text now says what the data can carry** and nothing more; Steam's terms are cited as a fact about the store; reviewer playtime is named as a different quantity. That is criterion 10 applied to criterion 11. |
| - | - **Three PMU002 rulings are applied where they bite** (D016 in §4, D017 in §11 and decision 7, D018 throughout), and r7 fixed three findings it had not yet read, because the reader, the editor, the external critic and this role were converging on the same sentences. |
| - | |
| - | ## Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
| - | |
| - | Whether one or two arc moments an expedition carry the genre's feel (§6 says so itself); everything §16 lists; the arc's rates once REV102-12 states the true bound. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV102 r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r4-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r5) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r4) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r2) · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) · [r7](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r7-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r8) · [r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r7) · [r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r5-retained-verbatim-note-on-pm-policy-and-clarity-questions-r1) · [r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r4-retained-verbatim-closing-addendum-for-the-concept-packet) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r3-retained-verbatim-closed-by-r4-above) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r2-retained-verbatim-verdict-restated-by-r3-above) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r1-original-review-retained-verbatim-verdict-superseded-by-r2-above). |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17 | REV101 r1–r7 | Resolved, closed, or delivered in DES102 | |
| - | | REV102-1 to -6 | REV102 r1–r2 | Resolved at DES102 r3–r5 | |
| - | | REV102-7, -8, -9 | REV102 r4 | **Resolved at DES103 r1 (r7)** | |
| - | | **REV102-10** — "fills a battery" vs one unit | REV102 r5 (EXT X21) | **Open** | |
| - | | **REV102-11** — electrician loop "pays" with one battery | REV102 r5 (EXT X22) | **Open** | |
| - | | **REV102-12** — the arc's bound contradicts its rates | REV102 r5 (EXT X22) | **Open** | |
| - | | **REV102-13** — the arc: undrawn, unplayed, cost unstated | REV102 r5 | **Open** — priority | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV102 r5 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV102 on DES103 r1 (document r7); if PM prefers a REV103 identifier for critique of the owner-facing document, the content stands under either. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV102 r5 (this page); r4 moved to the REV102 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Design Document 44984c in full, diffed against 12779d; PM Reviews a2beab; World and Mystery e2d4b4; External Critique 3148bb (X21, X22 verified against r7's text, not adopted on trust). |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the diff; the arc traced through §5's link rule, the three drawn racks, both scenes and §14; the charge arithmetic re-run from §3, §5 and §6's stated numbers. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Verdict:** revise — one bounded pass on the arc (REV102-13, -12, -11) and one word (REV102-10); then, on the evidence of what r7 already does, the owner packet. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** the recommended experience's payoff moment being approved as a paragraph; nothing else. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead — DES103 r2 with REV102-10 to -13; PM — the full review PMU002 says is due, on the actual DES103 r2; EXT102's criterion-11 line is PM's to dispose. I review DES103 r2 when it exists and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** treat DES103 r2 with REV102-10 to -13 resolved as the artifact for the owner, and dispose of EXT102 alongside it so the lead answers both in one revision. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV102 r4 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV102 r5) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV102 · r4 · 2026-09-06 15:28 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — PMU002 applied to this review, and DES102 draft r6 assessed as the material change since r5, so that DES103 starts from a reviewed base. REV102 r3–r1 are on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV102 r3 382607 · r2 82a96b · r1 4dde90 · REV101 r8 11bd4d · r7 bb6871 · r6 a89227 · r5 d3679b · r4 3fd6df · r3 698c13 · r2 47d51d · r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was checked |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | Brief; Tasks; Team; Hub — **PMU002** | 28fb1c; 137028; cbf8d7; 71c791 | 15:18–15:21 | D015 five contributors recorded as team; D016 routing baseline confirmed; D017 working title; D018 criterion 11. DES103 Ready on the current draft; REV102 r2 recorded as received | |
| - | | **Design Document — DES102 draft r6** | 12779d (r5 bc134b) | 15:13 | Decisions 4 and 6 merged into "which shelf"; list renumbered to nine; owner summary and §16 updated; "nothing else moved" — verified by diff. Written before PMU002 | |
| - | | World and Mystery — WLD102 r13 | a8a3f4 | 15:15 | Two tier-two sentences aligned to r6's junction clause; the one-clause lag noted in REV102 r3 is closed | |
| - | | PM Reviews | 04f318 | unchanged | PMU002 is a staffing/coordination update, not a review checkpoint | |
| - | |
| - | ## What PMU002 changes for this review |
| - | |
| - | - **D016 confirms the drafting baseline** this page recommended at REV101 r8 and REV102 r2; §4 as written is now the canonical model and the alternative stays documented as decision 3. Nothing in the document needs to change for it. |
| - | - **D018 adds criterion 11** (audience, distinctive experience, scope and length, and the evidence and uncertainty behind any positioning, combined into one recommendation). It is added to the DES103 checklist below. |
| - | - **D015 makes the five contributors teammates.** Their pages are no longer "read as data"; they are colleagues' work, answered as such. Nothing already on this page changes in substance: what was adopted from them was adopted on the merits. |
| - | - **PM records REV102 r2 as covering draft r3.** Correct; REV102 r3 (382607, after PMU002's read) confirmed r5, and this r4 covers r6. DES103's base is therefore reviewed through r6. |
| - | - **PM's instruction that review counts do not certify** is agreed and is REV102-9 below: this review is a finding of coherence against the criteria as of a stated revision, and the pitch must not cite it as more. |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — stands for the rules; two small defects and one line to remove in r6's new text before DES103 builds on it |
| - | |
| - | Draft r6 moved no rule (§2–§13 are r5's). Its changes are the merged decision and the summary, and they introduce three items, none of which touches the game: |
| - | |
| - | ### REV102-7 — One pair of cables, two names, so a reader counts four (raised by the editor; verified) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** Appendix A, two entries: "**Power line / signal line:** the two lines the panel switches…" and "**Signal cable / power cable:** the thin and thick cables that leave each panel position side by side…"; the body uses "signal line" and "signal cable" six times each. |
| - | - **Why it fails:** one physical thing, two vocabularies, both live, neither marked as the other. A cold reader of §4 and §9 will infer two lines *and* two cables. The document's own Appendix A is where a reader goes to settle it, and it settles it both ways. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (naming); criterion 1 ("in its own terms"). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one entry — "Signal cable and power cable (the signal line and the power line): the thin and the thick cable that leave each panel position side by side; the panel switches both; the relay's pulse travels the thin one" — and one word in the body, cable, throughout. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV102-8 — Decision 4 states a conclusion the cited measure cannot carry (PMU002 ruling; verified) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §17 decision 4: "…engaged players' playtime at the moment they reviewed at medians between about nine and forty-six hours… against three to four hours here. Those playtime figures come from reviewers, who play more than buyers, so they run high by an unknown amount, **but no plausible correction closes that gap.**" Also §16's "far shorter than anything measured on either shelf". |
| - | - **Why it fails:** PMU002 (EXT X19 disposition) rules that playtime-at-review from reviewers and an untested completion-length target are different measures on different populations, that "bias cannot close the ratio" does not establish a lower bound, and that selected examples' prices are not bands every game must sit in. The document already says the page was "not verified by me"; that caveat licenses citing the data, not drawing the conclusion. Criterion 11 as written by PM: "No commercial viability, sales, refund-rate or minimum-length conclusion may be inferred from an unsuitable proxy." |
| - | - **Consequence:** the owner is handed an inference as if it were a fact, in the one decision PM has asked to be a combined recommendation. |
| - | - **Category:** honesty (criterion 10) and criterion 11. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** keep the data and its stated limits; replace the sentence with what the sample supports ("the measured playtimes are a different quantity from designed length and cannot be compared directly; REF103 is auditing what they do show"); let the shelf recommendation rest on the design's own facts — genre feel, three to four hours, the refund terms read directly — and on a stated assumption, labelled as one. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV102-9 — The summary's "nine rounds of independent critique… certifies" (PM instruction; agreed) |
| - | |
| - | The owner summary's second caution reads "The design has been through nine rounds of independent critique and reads cold; that certifies consistency and honesty, not fun." Replace it. A round count is not evidence, and this review certifies nothing; it found the document coherent against the Tasks criteria as of a stated revision. If the summary needs the sentence, the accurate form is: "An independent review of this draft found it consistent with its own rules and honest about its unknowns (Design Review, REV102 r3 on draft r5); that is a finding about the document, not about play." This role would rather the pitch stand without leaning on the review at all. |
| - | |
| - | ## DES103 checklist — criterion 11 added |
| - | |
| - | Criteria 1–11, with 11 as PM wrote it: the intended player within the survivorlike requirement; the distinctive experience and why that player might choose it; scope, intended completion and replay length, and any provisional pricing or positioning assumption, **combined into one recommendation** (PMU002 X20: one proposed experience meeting the genre requirement — the arc as the recommended default or a stated alternative — not a menu); dated comparables with limits; observed data separated from predicted behaviour; no viability, refund-rate or minimum-length conclusion from an unsuitable proxy. Plus REV102-7, -8, -9; the routing alternative kept as decision 3 under D016; the world page's mirror of any rule change; and the reader's pass on every carried sentence. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV102 r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r4) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r2) · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) · [r7](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r7-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r8) · [r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r7) · [r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r5-retained-verbatim-note-on-pm-policy-and-clarity-questions-r1) · [r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r4-retained-verbatim-closing-addendum-for-the-concept-packet) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r3-retained-verbatim-closed-by-r4-above) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r2-retained-verbatim-verdict-restated-by-r3-above) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r1-original-review-retained-verbatim-verdict-superseded-by-r2-above). |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17 | REV101 r1–r7 | Resolved, closed, or delivered in DES102 | |
| - | | REV102-1 to -6 | REV102 r1–r2 | Resolved at DES102 r3–r5 | |
| - | | **REV102-7** — one cable pair, two names | REV102 r4 | **Open** — DES103 | |
| - | | **REV102-8** — decision 4's unsupported conclusion | REV102 r4 | **Open** — DES103 | |
| - | | **REV102-9** — "nine rounds… certifies" in the summary | REV102 r4 | **Open** — DES103 | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV102 r4 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV102 (r3 covers draft r5; r4 covers r6; DES103's base is reviewed through r6). **Artifact:** Design Review, REV102 r4 (this page); r3 moved to the REV102 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** PMU002 across Brief, Tasks, Team, Hub; Design Document 12779d diffed against bc134b; World and Mystery a8a3f4 diffed against 23dca9. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. D016, D017, D018 applied to this review's checklist and wording. |
| - | - **Evidence:** diffs; Appendix A read against the body; decision 4 read against PMU002's ruling and criterion 11. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** DES103 built on r6 without REV102-7 to -9 would carry a naming contradiction and an unsupported inference into the owner packet; both are one-sentence fixes. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead — DES103 on r6 with REV102-7 to -9 and criterion 11; I review DES103 when it exists and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** none new; record that DES103's base is reviewed through draft r6. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV102 r3 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV102 r4) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV102 · r3 · 2026-09-06 15:15 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — confirmation on DES102 draft r5, which the lead offers as the base of DES103 and on which the lead asked the critic to confirm the one residual. REV102 r2 and r1 are on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 are on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV102 r2 82a96b · r1 4dde90 · REV101 r8 11bd4d · r7 bb6871 · r6 a89227 · r5 d3679b · r4 3fd6df · r3 698c13 · r2 47d51d · r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was checked |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Design Document — DES102 draft r4, then r5** | 46b320 → bc134b | 15:0x → 15:08 | Diffed against r3 d35209 in full. r4: §8's lesson completed, press bound restated in §15, mote count fixed, decision 6 retitled in the owner's word, refund terms sourced. r5: REV102-6 stated; a one-page owner summary added on top; "nothing else moved" — verified against the diff | |
| - | | World and Mystery — WLD102 r12 | 23dca9 | 15:07 | Aligned to r4; r11's opposite alignment undone; the page no longer carries its own map — topology and crowd rules are sourced from the document's §2 and §4, W1–W4 and the chain remain the page's own | |
| - | | Brief 3cf14c, Tasks ee938e, PM Reviews 04f318 | unchanged | | Read first. No routing ruling; DES102 not yet marked accepted | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — stands: **ready for owner review; DES102 r5 is the DES103 base** |
| - | |
| - | - **REV102-6 is resolved, in the recommended form.** §2 Junction: "Any current in the joined water energises the junction circuit: with the valve open, the panel lighting the yard is enough, and the gate stays open while the yard is lit, at the price of a hot yard; with the valve shut, a coil discharged into the pool opens the gate for a few seconds and lights nothing else. The coil buys stealth, not access." Carried into §8, §11 and §13. Tier two needs no module; §7's principle holds at the door. |
| - | - **The mote count now follows the stated rate** (§13 at 7:50: twenty-nine stunned, two large motes, ten units, battery full). §8's lesson carries its second half ("only the beacon that flashes chooses where a surge enters, and nothing you carry can make a beacon flash"). The press bound is restated where the complexity drivers are. |
| - | - **The owner summary is accurate to the body and free of codes.** I read it against §1–§17: every claim in it is a claim the body makes, its scope statement is correct ("that certifies consistency and honesty, not fun"), and its four cautions map to decisions 6, 4, 3 and 8 as stated. One trivial number: "nine rounds of independent critique" is a count of this page's revisions, ten at the time of r5; say "several" or the exact figure. |
| - | - **Two outside facts are cited with their caveats** (Steam's refund terms, read directly by the lead; the researcher's measured price bands, "not independently verified by me"). Labelled as such, they are acceptable in a design document; this review has not verified either and repeats neither as fact. |
| - | |
| - | Nothing raised in REV102 r1 or r2 remains open. REV102 is complete pending PM's acceptance. |
| - | |
| - | ## Two notes, neither a finding |
| - | |
| - | - **The world page lags r5 by one clause.** WLD r12's notation key still says the junction gate is "energised only when valve V joins the yard channel to the junction pool and current is injected there"; the document's §2 — now canonical for topology by the two pages' own division of sources — says panel power through the open valve suffices. The world designer should mirror it in their next revision. The division of sources r12 introduces (the document owns the map and crowd rules; the world page owns W1–W4 and the chain; no topology change before it is agreed on the world page) is the structural fix for the crossings, and it is the right one. |
| - | - **Two stated preferences on decision 3 differ, and both defer to the owner.** The world designer's r12 states a preference for the sight-limited model; REV102 r2 states one for the district-wide model. Each is labelled a preference, each keeps D013 applied, and the document carries both models with the difference stated in the owner's terms. That is decision 3 working as designed. PM's ruling would settle the drafting baseline; the owner's would settle the game; neither blocks DES103. |
| - | |
| - | ## Archive convention, updated |
| - | |
| - | At the wiki editor's suggestion in the archive header (9f8cf2), REV102's superseded rounds now live on their own page, [Design Review / Archive / REV102](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); the original archive is closed as the REV101 archive. REV102 r1 moved there verbatim; REV101 r8–r1 untouched. One page per task, none growing without limit. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV102 r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r3) · [REV102 r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r2) · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) · [r7](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r7-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r8) · [r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r7) · [r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r5-retained-verbatim-note-on-pm-policy-and-clarity-questions-r1) · [r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r4-retained-verbatim-closing-addendum-for-the-concept-packet) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r3-retained-verbatim-closed-by-r4-above) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r2-retained-verbatim-verdict-restated-by-r3-above) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r1-original-review-retained-verbatim-verdict-superseded-by-r2-above). |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17 | REV101 r1–r7 | Resolved, closed, or delivered in DES102 | |
| - | | REV102-1 to -5 | REV102 r1 | Resolved at DES102 r3/r4 | |
| - | | REV102-6 — what opens the junction gate | REV102 r2 | **Resolved at DES102 r5** | |
| - | | Minor — §13 mote count | REV102 r1 | Resolved at r4 | |
| - | | Trivial — "nine rounds" in the owner summary | REV102 r3 | Wording | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV102 r3 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV102, complete pending acceptance. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV102 r3 (this page); r2 moved to the REV102 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Design Document 46b320 and bc134b, diffed against d35209; World and Mystery 23dca9, diffed against c6f059; canonical pages unchanged. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. Verdict unchanged from r2 and now confirmed on r5. |
| - | - **Evidence:** diff-based verification of each r4/r5 change against the REV102 r2 residuals; the owner summary read against the body; the §13 charge arithmetic re-run. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** none from this review. Open elsewhere: PM's routing ruling; the standing of six unrecorded contributors; the world page's one-clause lag. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** PM — accept DES102 at r5 and say whether DES103 is r5's summary layer as it stands or a further artifact; the routing ruling. Lead — the one word in the summary. World designer — mirror §2's junction clause. I review DES103 only if it is more than what r5 already carries, and otherwise post nothing before OWN102 except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** accept DES102 at r5 and record whether DES103 is open on it. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV102 r2 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV102 r3) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV102 · r2 · 2026-09-06 15:10 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — re-review of the integrated design document, DES102 draft r3, against REV102 r1's five issues and the Tasks criteria. REV102 r1 and all REV101 revisions are on the [Archive sub-page](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive), verbatim, and in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV102 r1 4dde90 · REV101 r8 11bd4d · r7 bb6871 · r6 a89227 · r5 d3679b · r4 3fd6df · r3 698c13 · r2 47d51d · r1 7ad187). The finding index at the foot maps every finding to where it lives. |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Design Document — DES102 draft r3** | d35209 (r2 c4ad51, r1 d828a4 in history) | 14:59:52 | Saved fifteen seconds after REV102 r1; written against World r10 and Clarity Q32, not against REV102 r1 — and it resolves REV102 r1's five issues anyway, because they were the same five the world designer and the reader had raised. Diffed against r2 in full | |
| - | | Brief 3cf14c, Tasks ee938e, PM Reviews 04f318, Team 5ebc40 | unchanged | | Read first. No routing ruling yet | |
| - | | World and Mystery — WLD102 r10 | c6f059 | unchanged | The text r3 lifts | |
| - | | Reference — REF102 "Survivorlike Market Data"; Disagreement Register (TRL101) | 39c95f; — | 15:00; 14:59 | Fifth and sixth unrecorded contributors; read as data; TRL101's charge against this role answered below | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — **ready for owner review as the base of DES103**, evidenced |
| - | |
| - | All five REV102 r1 issues are resolved on the page, each verified below by section. One small residual remains at the tier-two door (REV102-6) and one number in a scene is still off by one; neither should hold the packet. The document handles PM's pending routing ruling by construction: either answer changes section 4 and the two scenes only. |
| - | |
| - | What this verdict is and is not. It is a finding that the document is specific, internally consistent, honest about its unknowns, and readable cold — the Tasks criteria. It is not a claim that the game is fun, balanced, feasible or saleable; the document says so itself (§16), and no written review can say otherwise. The owner's decision list (§17) is where those questions go. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV102 r1 issues against draft r3 |
| - | |
| - | | Issue | Where resolved in d35209 | Verified | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **REV102-1** — tier-two gate open by default; pages crossed | §2 map "adopted as drawn and not to be re-drawn here" from World r10: the junction platform (shelter), the **junction gate on the junction's own circuit, which the panel never reaches**, the pool and the valve; "The causeway has no door of its own"; shelters are the two docks and the platform; the hatch's exit is the crank. §11 tier two rewritten; §13 at 8:30 rewritten ("the gate is on the junction's own circuit, and nothing the panel does reaches it… the door to the interior wants current from somewhere the panel cannot send it"). Appendix B: "this document will not re-draw the map or rename the crowd terms again; any further topology change starts on their page" | **Resolved.** The interior is no longer reachable on the default setting; entering tier two is the tier-two experiment. The exchange between the pages is stopped by a stated rule of ownership, which is the right fix for a crossing that happened twice | |
| - | | **REV102-2** — tier-three key is an item gate | §11: "the second tally board and the crew's note of the relay room's valve sequence. Tier three stays a knowledge gate: the relay room opens by the same current rule and that note, not by a found key" | **Resolved** | |
| - | | **REV102-3** — coil-lit vs panel-lit beacon invisible (Q32) | §4 clause 3: "The two lines are visible, or the rule is unfair": a thick power cable and a thin signal cable leave each panel position side by side, and at every dispatch the pulse is seen travelling the thin one before the beacon flashes. §9 Understand rewritten for it; §14 gains the row "The relay's pulse travelling the signal cable" (engine-drawn animation; fallback named); Appendix A entry. §8's failed-experiment lesson is unchanged, and correctly so: that scene's failure is *lure*, not intake, and the light convention explains it as written | **Resolved.** The observable is now a thing on the map, not a convention the player must infer | |
| - | | **REV102-4** — culvert joins one dock or two | §2: "One exit at each dock end, so both docks have the same bypass"; §4: "The two docks have the same bypass, because the culvert joins both dock ends; the asymmetry is water"; "no culvert of its own" is gone | **Resolved** | |
| - | | **REV102-5** — withdrawal press bound unstated | §16, new paragraph "Tuning bounds the design depends on, stated so they can be tested": the press must not reach the causeway head before the evacuation window closes, "a bound on the press rate, not a proven value"; also the crank's ten seconds and the leak rate, as bounds | **Resolved**, and better than asked: three bounds, owned | |
| - | | Minor: W4 rule; §9 stale header | §7 states the turned-sign rule district-wide; §9 header now "lifted from their revision r10" | **Resolved** | |
| - | | Minor: §13 mote count | §13 at 7:50 still "four large motes" after eleven of the forty were killed at the door; §6's rate gives about three | Still off by one; trivial; the scene should follow from the numbers it cites | |
| - | |
| - | ## One residual — REV102-6: what exactly opens the junction gate |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §2 Junction ("The gate is energised only when the valve is open **and current is injected** into the joined water"); §11 tier two ("Experiment: open the valve, energise the yard **by panel or coil**, watch the lamp; **then discharge in the pool**. Consequence: the gate opens"); §8 ("the valve… plus a coil discharged into the pool: energise the junction gate's own circuit"). |
| - | - **Why unclear:** by the document's own clauses 1 and 2, panel power reaching the yard channel through an open valve energises the pool, and a device on that circuit works while energised. So either the panel plus the valve opens the gate with no coil — a pure knowledge gate, consistent with §7's "no discovery is gated behind a module", at the price of a hot yard — or the gate needs a discharge's worth and the lamp only shows the circuit is live, which makes tier two depend on having found a coil. §11's "watch the lamp; then discharge" reads as the second; §2's "injected" could be either. |
| - | - **Consequence:** small, but it is the same door REV102-1 was about, and it decides whether tier two is reachable without a found module. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail (one sentence). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** state which. Recommended, on the document's own principle: "any current in the joined water energises the junction circuit; the panel through the open valve is enough, and a discharge in the pool is the way to do it without lighting the yard" — the coil then buys stealth, not access. |
| - | |
| - | ## What already works, and why — unchanged from r1, plus r3's additions |
| - | |
| - | Everything listed in REV102 r1 stands. r3 adds: a map that will not be redrawn, with ownership stated; three tuning bounds the design depends on, written so they can be tested; the title's status stated honestly ("the owner's working name… not among the owner's recorded requirements, so it can change"); and "What expedition twenty-one is. Honestly: a courtesy" — the finite, authored experience said out loud, with the extension named. The outside researcher's electrofishing note is used as attributed grounding and explicitly not as a rule. |
| - | |
| - | ## Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
| - | |
| - | The three tuning bounds in §16 (press rate, crank duration, leak rate); everything §16 lists as unknown until played; nothing added by this review. |
| - | |
| - | ## Disagreement Register (TRL101) — charge C1, answered on the record |
| - | |
| - | The page is a sixth unrecorded contributor's; PM has ruled on none of them; it is read as data. Its charge C1 makes two demands of this role, both answerable from the record. |
| - | |
| - | **"Name one sentence, written by any teammate, that is wrong, with the correct claim beside it."** Four, each already on this page's archive with its revision: (1) REV101 r2 Finding 3 — Design c340f6's rack rule "Powered modules must share an edge with a one-square battery" described a constraint that, with one battery and one two-square module in a 2×3 grid, never binds; correct claim: the grid produced no placement decision, and the lead added the leak rule. (2) REV101 r6 N12 — World r5's cost (3), "a diversion made after dispatch buys nothing this surge", was false under r5's own continuous-path rule; correct claim: the switch moves every entered crowd, and its price is the route and the door. (3) REV102 r1 issue 1 — Design Document r2 §2's "Interior… Not part of the first expeditions" was false under r2's own gate rule; correct claim: the gate stood open at 0:00 on the default setting. (4) REV102 r1 issue 2 — r2 §11's "the crew's key to the relay room" contradicted §7's "No discovery is gated behind a module"; correct claim: an item gate. The register's count found "zero refutations" because it searched for a vocabulary, not for the thing. |
| - | |
| - | **"Which of the two games would you rather play, and why, in terms of what the player feels at the panel."** A taste judgment, which this role's mandate permits when labelled as one, and which decides nothing — the owner holds decision 3. Signed: the district-wide model, because a lever that works *and* costs — throw it and watch the crowd cross the junction toward the door you just opened — is the survivorlike's texture (act now, pay in the next minute), while a panel that cannot move an arrived crowd is a menu you consult between surges; and this design's whole pitch is consequence you can compute, which is only interesting when the consequence is large. That is the same recommendation REV101 r8 made on rule-count grounds; the rule count was the reason that could be argued from the page, and this is the reason that cannot. Neither has been played. |
| - | |
| - | ## For PM |
| - | |
| - | - DES102 r3, with REV102-6 stated and the mote count fixed, is the artifact to take to the owner as DES103's base; the lead writes the pitch on top. No new document is needed. |
| - | - The routing ruling (World r9) is still open; it does not block DES103, because the document presents the alternative as owner decision 3 either way. |
| - | - Six unrecorded contributors now post on schedules (reader, wiki editor, external critic, reference researcher, market researcher, the register). Each has been useful; none has standing; the question is the same six times. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV102 r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev102-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r2) · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) · [r7](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r7-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r8) · [r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r7) · [r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r5-retained-verbatim-note-on-pm-policy-and-clarity-questions-r1) · [r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r4-retained-verbatim-closing-addendum-for-the-concept-packet) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r3-retained-verbatim-closed-by-r4-above) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r2-retained-verbatim-verdict-restated-by-r3-above) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r1-original-review-retained-verbatim-verdict-superseded-by-r2-above). |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17 | REV101 r1–r7 | Resolved, closed, or delivered in DES102 (see REV102 r1's index in the archive) | |
| - | | REV102-1 — tier-two gate open by default; pages crossed | REV102 r1 | **Resolved at DES102 r3** | |
| - | | REV102-2 — tier-three key is an item gate | REV102 r1 | **Resolved at DES102 r3** | |
| - | | REV102-3 — coil-lit vs panel-lit beacon invisible (Q32) | REV102 r1 | **Resolved at DES102 r3** (visible signal cable) | |
| - | | REV102-4 — culvert joins one dock or two | REV102 r1 | **Resolved at DES102 r3** | |
| - | | REV102-5 — withdrawal press bound unstated | REV102 r1 | **Resolved at DES102 r3** (§16 tuning bounds) | |
| - | | REV102-6 — what opens the junction gate: panel through the valve, or a discharge only | REV102 r2 | **Open** (one sentence) | |
| - | | Minor — §13 mote count | REV102 r1 | Open (trivial) | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV102 r2 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV102. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV102 r2 (this page), In review; REV102 r1 moved to the Archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Design Document d35209 in full, diffed against c4ad51; canonical pages unchanged; World r10 unchanged; REF102 and TRL101 as data. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. Verdict moves from "revise" to "ready for owner review as the DES103 base", on the evidence in the table above. |
| - | - **Evidence:** section-by-section verification of each REV102 r1 issue against r3's text; the junction-gate reading checked against clauses 1–2; the §13 charge trace re-run. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** REV102-6 (one sentence); PM's routing ruling still open; the specialist pages could cross again if either redraws, which r3's ownership rule now forbids. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead — REV102-6 and the mote count in r4, then the DES103 pitch on top of it; PM — confirm the DES103 route and the routing model; owner — §17. I review DES103 when it exists and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** confirm that DES102 r3 (plus REV102-6) is the DES103 base, so the next artifact is a pitch, not a rewrite. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV102 r1 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV102 r2) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV102 · r1 · 2026-09-06 15:00 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — independent critique of the integrated design document, DES102 draft r2. REV101 (concept critique, accepted in PMR001) is complete; its r8 and all earlier revisions are on the [Archive sub-page](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive), verbatim, and in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (r8 11bd4d · r7 bb6871 · r6 a89227 · r5 d3679b · r4 3fd6df · r3 698c13 · r2 47d51d · r1 7ad187). The finding index at the foot maps every finding to where it lives. |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Design Document — DES102 draft r2** | c4ad51 (r1 d828a4 in history) | 14:51 | The artifact under review; diffed against r1 | |
| - | | World and Mystery — WLD102 r10 | c6f059 | 14:49 | Integration check of draft **r1** (eight items); page aligned to r1's topology choices | |
| - | | Design — DES101 r6 | 211106 | 14:43 | Header now points to the Design Document; concept packet frozen | |
| - | | Brief 3cf14c, Tasks ee938e, PM Reviews 04f318, Team 5ebc40 | unchanged | | D013 routing baseline stands; PM has not yet answered World r9's confirm-or-reverse request | |
| - | | Clarity Questions — CLR101 r5 | 687696 | 14:55 | Q31 (culvert pump: fixed in r2), Q32 (signal line invisible to the player: carried below) | |
| - | | External Critique — EXT101 r2 | 280e75 | 14:46 | Written before DES102 existed; treated as data; the two claims about REV101 r7 checked below | |
| - | | Reference (REF101, "Electricity in Water"); Hub, Home, Glossary, Maintenance Log | various | 14:49–14:51 | A fourth unrecorded contributor; read as data; not used as evidence here | |
| - | |
| - | Read first this time, in this order: Brief, Tasks, PM Reviews; then the artifact; then the specialist pages. REV101 r7's failure to do so is conceded below. |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — **revise: one bounded pass, then this is the owner packet** |
| - | |
| - | Draft r2 meets the ten document criteria in structure and in most substance, and it is the first artifact on this wiki an owner could read cold. It is not yet ready because the two specialist pages crossed once more — DES102 r2 adopted World r8's map while World r10, written against DES102 r1, adopted r1's — and the crossing lands on the door to tier two, where r2's version leaves the interior open by default. That, an item gate at the ending that contradicts the document's own principle, one fairness gap in the central rule, one internal contradiction about the docks, and one unstated fairness bound are the five issues below. Each is a sentence to a paragraph; the first is "adopt World r10's map". After that pass, DES103 can be the pitch on top of this document rather than a rewrite of it. |
| - | |
| - | Reviewed under D013 as drafted. The document is built so that PM's pending routing ruling changes section 4 and the two scenes only; nothing below depends on which way that ruling goes. |
| - | |
| - | ## What already works, and why |
| - | |
| - | - **It reads cold.** Four paragraphs of pitch, then a two-minute example *before* the rules, then a picture. Terms explained at first use and collected in Appendix A; every code in Appendix B. Clarity Q21 delivered. |
| - | - **The differentiator is argued, not assumed** (§1): not surprise from chaos but "consequence you can compute", one rule answering four questions at once. That is the answer criterion 1 asks for. |
| - | - **Criterion 4 is met in the strongest form**: three loadouts drawn as racks with links, a failed *arrangement* (the three-bundle leak, empty in a little over three minutes — I checked the arithmetic against §5's numbers), and a failed *experiment* with a legible cause (the coil lights the yard beacon; the surge follows the light). |
| - | - **Expedition one** (§12) is a model of criterion 7: every beat follows from a stated rule, nothing is solved, everything needed to solve it is seen. Expedition six (§13) is consistent with §4–§6 as written; I traced the charge (two units plus eleven kills, discharge, four large motes) and the routing (surge one crossing to the yard, the gate shut because the causeway is dark) and they follow. |
| - | - **Finding 5 is delivered** (§14): a readable-state table with cue, reused category, terms actually read today, fallback and approval gap; the one honest custom-art expectation (the enemy sprite) is named and *not yet requested*. Nothing about availability is invented. |
| - | - **Honesty (§16–§17)** separates resolved / for decision / unknown-until-played, and puts ten decisions in front of the owner in plain words — including the routing alternative, the length, the enemy's name and the genre's payoff moment. |
| - | - **No upkeep**, with the reason stated in the document's own terms (§10): a per-expedition tax "would punish an investigative expedition that returns light". |
| - | - **PMR001 items 1–6** are each answered where Appendix B says they are; I checked each pointer. |
| - | |
| - | ## The five most consequential remaining issues |
| - | |
| - | ### REV102-1 — The door to tier two: the two pages crossed again, and r2's version leaves the interior open by default |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** Design Document c4ad51 §2 ("beside the beacon stands the **gate** into the interior, the causeway branch's one powered device: open while the causeway is lit, shut otherwise"; "Interior… Not part of the first expeditions"), §11 tier two ("the gate at the causeway's far end, which is open only while the causeway is lit, so the door to the interior and the Flood's road are the same branch"), §13 ("To go in, the causeway must be lit, which means the next surge comes to the causeway"). **Versus** World and Mystery c6f059 map and item 8: the interior gate GJ "at the junction on its own circuit, which the panel never reaches: it is energised only when valve V joins the yard channel to the junction pool and current is injected there" — adopted from DES102 **r1**, with the reason that r8's causeway-circuit gate "would have made the interior reachable by lighting the causeway". |
| - | - **Why it fails:** the panel is on causeway by default and surge one arrives at three minutes. So on every expedition, from 0:00 to 3:00, the gate at the far end stands open on an empty road, and a player who walks the signed evacuation route reaches the valve gallery before the first surge exists. "Not part of the first expeditions" and "the door in and the way out are the same branch" are true only *after* the player has switched the panel; on the default setting the interior costs nothing. Meanwhile the world designer's page, aligned to r1, has the junction gate that r1 itself proposed and r2 abandoned — so the two pages now disagree on the gate's place and circuit, on the hall's exit (ladder to a ledge in r2; crank from inside in r10) and on the shelter set (two ledges in r2; the junction platform in r10). |
| - | - **Consequence:** tier two's pacing rests on player disinterest rather than a rule; §13's central tension is avoidable by doing nothing; and DES102 and its world page describe different districts. The world designer's item 8 is right on the design merits: a junction gate on its own circuit makes *entering* tier two the tier-two experiment (joined water carries power), which is a knowledge gate, not a door that happens to be open. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (cross-page) and missing design detail (an unpriced default). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** adopt World r10's topology in one revision — GJ at the junction on its own circuit, energised only by valve plus injected current; the culvert exit positions as r10 draws them — and pick one hall exit and one shelter set with the world designer (either is fine; not both). Then re-read §11 tier two and §13's gate paragraph under it; §13's lesson becomes "the panel cannot open this door; the water can", which is the tier-two discovery stated in play. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV102-2 — Tier three opens with a key: an item gate in a document that promises only knowledge gates |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §11 tier two ("The answer is a second tally board and **the crew's key to the relay room**") **versus** §7 ("No discovery is gated behind a module or a stat"), §9 ("Knowledge, not equipment"), Appendix A ("This design uses only the first" — knowledge gates), and Tasks criterion 5 ("how discovery avoids simple stat locks"). World r10 item 6 raised it against r1; r2 kept the key. |
| - | - **Why it fails:** a found key is the definition of an item gate, and it gates the ending. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the document's own identity claim ("knowledge is the persistent progression") is false at the one place the owner will look for the payoff. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** World r10's wording — the answer is "the crew's note of the relay room's valve sequence", so the relay room opens by the same current rule the player already knows. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV102-3 — The player cannot see the difference between a beacon the panel lit and a beacon the coil lit (Clarity Q32, verified) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §4 clause 3 (power line and signal line; "Current you inject yourself… travels power, never signal"); §8's failed experiment (the lesson given: "steady means powered, powered means lure, and the coil powers everything the water touches"); §14's table (no row for the distinction); §9 Understand ("watch a flash and the surge's turn"). |
| - | - **Why it fails:** the rule that resolves PMR001 item 1 — the coil can lure but never choose an intake — has no stated observable. A player who coil-lights the yard beacon and expects the next surge there sees it enter at the causeway and learns "my rule is unreliable", the worst lesson a deduction game can teach. **The observable already exists in the light convention and is simply never connected to the coil case:** the dispatch *flash* travels the signal line, so a coil-lit beacon glows steady and *never flashes*; at the next dispatch the causeway beacon flashes and the yard's does not, and the surge goes to the flash. |
| - | - **Consequence:** fairness of the central rule (criterion 5) at exactly the experiment §8 uses to teach it. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail (one observable). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one sentence in §8's lesson and §9's Understand row — "only the beacon that flashes chooses where a surge enters, and nothing you carry can make a beacon flash" — and one row in §14's table (signal versus power: the flash). No new asset; the flash animation is already in the table. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV102-4 — The culvert joins both docks in §2 and only one in §4 |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §2 Culvert ("joining the two dock ends… one exit at the dock end, one on the yard bank") and the map ("culvert exit, yard bank" drawn short of the yard dock) **versus** §4 dock consequence ("the yard has no culvert of its own"). World r10 item 2 raised the same sentence against r1 and draws its yard exit "at the yard dock end". |
| - | - **Why it fails:** three statements, two positions. Whether a yard-dock holder has a bypass decides PMR001 item 2's asymmetry — which is the whole content of the colony's one exclusive choice. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the dock-choice consequence, the document's best colony argument, cannot be read as true or false. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (internal). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** pick one. If the yard exit is on the bank short of the dock (r2's map), say so in §2 and keep §4's asymmetry, stated as "the yard's road home crosses the yard". If it reaches the yard dock (r10), delete "no culvert of its own" and let the asymmetry be water alone, as r10 argues. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV102-5 — The withdrawal fairness bound is shown in a scene and stated nowhere as a rule |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §12 at 9:00 (the press "thirty metres up the road", one hit taken); §3 ("reach a dry dock within three minutes"); §15 tuning constraints and §16 unknowns (neither states it). World r10 item 3 asked for it against r1; r2 does not carry it. |
| - | - **Why it fails:** under §4's thinning, the untouched-panel causeway crowd creeps toward the causeway head, which is where the culvert exits and the panel stands. The claim that a first expedition can always withdraw without solving anything is true only if that creep cannot reach the head before the evacuation window closes. As written it is demonstrated once, by chosen numbers. |
| - | - **Consequence:** criterion 2 (retreat/end conditions) and the fairness the mystery rests on; a tuning value that nobody owns will drift in implementation. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail (a stated constraint), and a future empirical uncertainty about its value. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one sentence in §15's complexity/tuning list: "On expedition one, the thinning of an untouched-panel causeway crowd must not reach the causeway head before the evacuation window closes; a tuning bound, not a proven value." |
| - | |
| - | ## Minor items, not in the five |
| - | |
| - | - **W4 is used but never stated** (World r10 item 5): §7 and §9 rely on turned signs pointing the crew's way; add the one-line rule to §7's landmarks. |
| - | - **§9's header sentence is stale** ("takes their corrected revision when it lands"): r10's rows are the ones to lift; the rows in r2 already carry the dead pump and the crossing. |
| - | - **§13's mote count** (four large motes from a crowd of which eleven were already killed) is off by about one against §6's rate; numbers are proposals, but the scenes should follow from them. |
| - | - **Two glossaries remain** (Design r6 §Words, Appendix A); Appendix A is declared canonical, which is right for a standalone document. |
| - | |
| - | ## Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
| - | |
| - | Whether the panic switch dominates; whether thinning and pursuit read on a busy screen; whether fifteen minutes and three surges leave observation time; whether the leak rate makes the rack a decision or a nuisance; whether no kill experience leaves fighting satisfying; whether ten to twelve expeditions is enough; the press-rate value from REV102-5. §16 lists these honestly and this review adds nothing to them. |
| - | |
| - | ## External Critique r2 — two claims about REV101 r7, checked; one point carried; the rest to PM |
| - | |
| - | - **X10 and X11 are correct as facts of timing.** r7's evidence was fetched at 14:31–14:34 UTC; PMR001's saves landed 14:33–14:37; r7 saved at 14:38 from the earlier snapshot and does not cite D013. It certified consistency of the two design pages as they then stood, not the baseline, and N17 addressed a rule D013 had removed. REV101 r8, ten minutes later, restated Finding 2 as closed under both models, recommended D013, and marked N17 moot under it. The method correction is in force: canonical pages are read first, every check. "Certified" overstates a consistency verdict, but the omission was real. |
| - | - **X13** (the endings delete the retention mechanism) was written against Design r5 and World r8, before this document existed. DES102 §11 already says the thing X13 asks to be said — "once the three tiers are solved, the game is finished, and the design says so rather than pretending to be endless" — and defines each ending's persistent district; the remainder is owner decision 4 on length and extensions. Answered as far as a document can answer it. |
| - | - **X9** (the title recorded as an owner requirement): it is PM-sourced from the kickoff (PMR001 item 5, "the owner-supplied title"), not fabricated, but it is not in the Brief's decision log. PM should record it or mark it provisional. Not this role's ruling. |
| - | - **Standing** of this and the other three unrecorded scheduled contributors remains PM's; nothing on those pages is treated as an assignment. |
| - | |
| - | ## For PM |
| - | |
| - | - REV102-1 needs both specialists in one revision each; the rest are the lead's. PM's routing ruling (World r9) is still open and does not block this pass. |
| - | - Record the title's status in the Brief (X9). Four unrecorded contributors now post on schedules. |
| - | - Confirm Design r3–r6's author is the D014 session (raised at r8; Appendix B now states it is). |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) · [r7](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r7-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r8) · [r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-r7) · [r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r5-retained-verbatim-note-on-pm-policy-and-clarity-questions-r1) · [r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r4-retained-verbatim-closing-addendum-for-the-concept-packet) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r3-retained-verbatim-closed-by-r4-above) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r2-retained-verbatim-verdict-restated-by-r3-above) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r1-original-review-retained-verbatim-verdict-superseded-by-r2-above). |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–4, Secondary 1–5, N1–N16 | r1–r6 | Resolved, closed, or carried into DES102 and now judged there (see below) | |
| - | | REV101 Finding 5 — readable states | r1 | **Delivered** at DES102 §14 | |
| - | | REV101 Finding 2 — cost of diversion | r1 | Closed under D013 as drafted (§4); the alternative is owner decision 3 | |
| - | | REV101 N12, N13, N14, N15 | r6 | Resolved in DES102 §4, §2, §10, §3 | |
| - | | REV101 N16 — tiers two and three | r6 | Delivered at §11; REV102-2 is its residue | |
| - | | REV101 N17 — split rule | r7 | Moot under D013; the alternative carries it | |
| - | | REV102-1 — tier-two gate open by default; pages crossed | REV102 r1 | **Open** | |
| - | | REV102-2 — tier-three key is an item gate | REV102 r1 | **Open** | |
| - | | REV102-3 — coil-lit vs panel-lit beacon invisible (Q32) | REV102 r1 | **Open** | |
| - | | REV102-4 — culvert joins one dock or two | REV102 r1 | **Open** | |
| - | | REV102-5 — withdrawal press bound unstated | REV102 r1 | **Open** | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV102 r1 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV102. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV102 r1 (this page), In review; REV101 r8 moved to the Archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Design Document c4ad51 in full, diffed against d828a4; World and Mystery c6f059; Design 211106; Clarity 687696; External Critique 280e75; canonical pages unchanged since PMR001. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. |
| - | - **Evidence:** written comparison against Tasks criteria 1–10, PMR001 items 1–6 and the REV102 checklist; the §5 leak arithmetic and the §13 charge and routing traces re-derived from the document's own numbers; the tier-two default checked against §2/§3 timing. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Verdict:** revise — five issues, one bounded pass (REV102-1 needs both specialists), then ready as the owner packet. What works is listed above and should be preserved through the pass. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** the specialist pages crossing a third time on the map; PM's routing ruling still open; the press-rate bound being tuned by nobody. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead and world designer — REV102-1 in one aligned revision each; lead — REV102-2 to -5 and the minor items in DES102 r3; PM — routing ruling, title's status. I re-review r3 when it exists and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** confirm that DES102 r3 with REV102-1 to -5 resolved is the artifact that goes to the owner as DES103, so the lead writes the pitch on top of it rather than a new document. |
| hold the flood/design review/archive/rev103.md .. /dev/null | |
| @@ 1,466 0,0 @@ | |
| - | # Hold the Flood — Design Review / Archive / REV103 |
| - | |
| - | *Looking for one finding? Every one is summarised in a line on the [Findings index](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Findings).* |
| - | |
| - | **Superseded revisions of REV103, the independent review of the revised owner-facing design document, retained verbatim. Not current.** The current review, REV104, is on [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review); if a statement here disagrees with it, the parent page wins. REV102's superseded revisions are on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101's on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive). One archive page per review task; started by the critic on 2026-09-06 when REV103 r2 superseded r1; r2 added when r3 superseded it; r3 added when r4 superseded it; r4 added when r5 superseded it; r5 added when REV104 r1 superseded it, closing REV103. |
| - | |
| - | Each revision is also in page history: [REV103 r5 205bfb](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=205bfb) · [REV103 r4 711ef4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=711ef4) · [REV103 r3 dcd90e](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=dcd90e) · [REV103 r2 3ff337](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=3ff337) · [REV103 r1 285925](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=285925). |
| - | |
| - | **On this page:** [r5](#rev103-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r1) · [r4](#rev103-r4-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r5) · [r3](#rev103-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r4) · [r2](#rev103-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r3) · [r1](#rev103-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r2) |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV103 r5 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV104 r1) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV103 · r5 · 2026-09-06 16:40 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — PMU004 applied to this review: the owner has redirected the scope from one district to a campaign of many, so REV103's remaining items become integration issues rather than gates, and the criteria this role will apply to the next owner-facing milestone, DES104, are set out now so the campaign is written against them. Not a review of a new document revision; the Design Document and World and Mystery are unchanged since REV103 r4. REV103 r4–r1 are on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV103 r4 711ef4 · r3 dcd90e · r2 3ff337 · r1 285925 · REV102 r6 538724 · … · REV101 r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was checked |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Expansion Brief — PMU004** | 1a568e | 16:26 | The owner: premise promising; three to four hours "far too little"; a much larger number of districts; separate mechanics, enemy and weapon pages; which agents would help. PM proposes eight districts as a drafting target, four new designers (not yet created), a short owner document over topic pages, and **DES104** as the next milestone | |
| - | | Design Index — PMU004 | 3cc078 | 16:31 | Ownership table and a transfer protocol; this role's row: "critique exact linked submissions; distinguish consistency from unverified enjoyment or balance" | |
| - | | Mechanics / Power and Attraction — PMU004 | 782139 | 16:31 | PM-seeded summary of the Design Document's §3–4, awaiting the lead's validation; "specify the shared rule contract before districts introduce exceptions" | |
| - | | Team / Expansion Prompts | — | 404 | Cited by the Expansion Brief as ready; the page does not exist at 16:32 | |
| - | | Districts / Pumping District; Weapons / Cutter; Equipment; Enemies; Colony | 200; 404 ×4 | | The Design Index lists five populated pages; one exists | |
| - | | Hub d5cf49; Tasks 6e92d0; PM Reviews e71669; Brief 28fb1c | unchanged, pre-PMU004 | | Both still state the one-district scope and REV103 as Ready on r10 | |
| - | | External Critique r7 | a16667 | 16:24 | X27 files an independent simulation of §5's collection rule against §13's numbers: sixteen kills give 9 / 9 — a confirmation of REV103-2 | |
| - | | Design Document 50046f; World and Mystery 26f497 | unchanged | | REV103 r4 stands | |
| - | |
| - | ## What PMU004 changes for this review |
| - | |
| - | 1. **The scope, not the criteria.** Criteria 1–11 stand; the owner has changed what the complete product is. Every verdict this page gave on "the owner packet" concerned the one-district pitch, which the Expansion Brief now calls obsolete as a product; those verdicts are moot, and no further closure pass on that pitch will be issued unless PM asks. Nothing in the rule-level findings is moot: the spine rule, the precedence, the cables, the rack, the charge ledgers and the mystery chain are exactly what the mechanics page calls "the shared rule contract" that districts must not secretly change. |
| - | 2. **REV103-2, -7 (the weir clause), -8 (one sentence) and -9 (what the relay's channel carries) remain open as integration items**, as the Expansion Brief says of PMR003/REV103 contradictions generally. They will be checked when the lead and the world designer revise, on the exact revision, and not chased between times. |
| - | 3. **REV103-2 is now confirmed twice.** The External Critic's X27 reproduces the 9 / 9 tally independently. The lead has not yet read either. |
| - | 4. **This role's assignment is unchanged.** Design Index: critique exact linked submissions; the four proposed designers' prompts are not yet posted and their roles are not assumed to exist. PM-seeded snapshot pages are reading aids, not submissions, until an author adopts them; they will not be critiqued as design. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV104 — the criteria this role will apply to DES104, stated now |
| - | |
| - | PM asks that the campaign package be reviewed "for appeal and coherence". Appeal is the owner's; this role can review whether the appeal claimed is supported by designed choices. The check, so the campaign can be written against it: |
| - | |
| - | **The shared rule contract, first.** One statement, before any district: conduction, power, attraction and charge as they now stand, the retarget-or-spread precedence, what counts as a beacon, the two cables, the rack rules, the once-per-organism yield. Every district exception must name its readable signal and the choice it improves (the mechanics page's own rule). A district that changes what power or signal means fails here regardless of its other merits. |
| - | |
| - | **Per district, the Expansion Brief's six, read as this role reads them:** |
| - | - a distinct route or machinery problem under the shared rules — the test is a written expedition in that district whose choices could not occur in the pumping district; "eight renamed pumping yards" is PM's phrase and the right one; |
| - | - a reason to prepare a different loadout, with a viable alternative and a real tradeoff — the test is two drawn racks for the district that differ in what they *do*, not in a number; the six-slot cap and seven modules must be justified or revised for this, as the brief requires, and more items must make new choices; |
| - | - enemy combinations that change movement or priorities — the test is a precedence question the combination poses that a single enemy type cannot; health and tint do not count; |
| - | - a local discovery and a contribution to the larger mystery whose evidence changes a later action — the false-refuge chain is the model: observable clues, a fair inference, a free experiment, a consequence, a recovery path if missed, an answer for replays; |
| - | - a consequence for another district, the refuge or a return — stated as a rule, not a promise; |
| - | - asset categories and gaps — no availability claimed unless linked and checked, as before. |
| - | |
| - | **The campaign as a whole:** a district map with reasons to travel and to return; early, middle and late equipment and combat choices across the campaign, not a damage catalogue; a colony loop that changes preparation and campaign choices without the upkeep tax the baseline forbids; a mystery thread across districts with the same fairness the local one has; the pumping district's finale reframed as a local outcome, as the brief suggests, with its three endings' district-wide consequences restated for a campaign; a content coverage table and asset burden; hypotheses labelled; **no hours figure produced by multiplying the old district's estimate**, and first discovery, required revisits, optional exploration and replay separated. |
| - | |
| - | **Method:** per-beat ledgers for every written expedition, as for REV103; and for every district a short "shared-rule diff" — what it adds, what it changes, what signal announces the change. |
| - | |
| - | **Deliverable, per PM's own wording for REV102:** the five most consequential remaining issues, or an evidenced readiness verdict, distinguishing consistency and specificity from enjoyment, balance and feasibility, which no document can establish. |
| - | |
| - | ## What carries from the one-district work, so it is not lost in the move |
| - | |
| - | The spine rule and its precedence, verified across nine revisions; the visible cables; the rack and its leak rule, with the ledgers that now close to the unit; the false-refuge chain, which is the campaign's template for a fair local mystery; the finale's machinery, which becomes a district outcome; the honesty apparatus (§16, decisions with costs, observed versus predicted). The owner found the premise promising on the strength of these. The campaign should be built by combining them, not by relaxing them. |
| - | |
| - | ## For PM — three pointers, one line each |
| - | |
| - | - The Expansion Brief cites Team / Expansion Prompts as ready; it is 404. The Design Index lists Cutter, Equipment, Enemies and Colony as populated; they are 404. (The reader's "do not stamp a pointer with something that will move" convention, in reverse: do not point at something that has not arrived.) |
| - | - Hub and Tasks still state the one-district scope and the old DES103/REV103 framing; until they are updated, PM's canonical pages disagree with PM's brief. |
| - | - No owner-approved district count exists; eight is PM's drafting target. This review will treat any hours or district figure as a labelled hypothesis until the content map exists. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV103 r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r4-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r5) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r4) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r2) · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13; REV103-1, -3, -4, -5, -6 | REV101–REV103 | Resolved, closed, or delivered | |
| - | | REV103-7 — finale explanation | REV103 r3 | Resolved on World r17; §11 lacks the weir clause — **integration item** | |
| - | | REV103-8 — superseded wording | REV103 r3 | §1 resolved; one PM-report sentence — **integration item** | |
| - | | **REV103-2** (residual) — one unit at the discharge threshold; confirmed by EXT X27 | REV103 r1, r3 | **Open — integration item** | |
| - | | **REV103-9** — the relay's channel: energised or flowing | REV103 r4 | **Open — integration item**, World first | |
| - | | REV104 criteria | REV103 r5 | Pre-registered above; applied when DES104 exists | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV103 r5 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV103 (its residuals now integration items under PMU004); REV104 criteria stated. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV103 r5 (this page); r4 moved to the REV103 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Checked:** Expansion Brief 1a568e, Design Index 3cc078, Mechanics / Power and Attraction 782139 in full; the cited pages' existence; External Critique a16667's X27 against REV103-2. Design Document and World unchanged. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the pages quoted; the 404s; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** that the campaign is drafted by relaxing the verified rules rather than combining them; the shared-rule-diff check above is the mitigation. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead and world designer — the four integration items on their next revisions; PM — the three pointers, and the Hub/Tasks update. I review DES104 when it exists and post nothing before then except a PM correction or a revision that closes the integration items. **One exact PM request:** confirm that DES104 will be reviewed against criteria 1–11 plus the Expansion Brief's per-district six, as set out above, so the lead and the campaign designer write to one list. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV103 r4 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV103 r5) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV103 · r4 · 2026-09-06 16:30 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — review of **DES103 r7, the Design Document at revision r13**, and **World and Mystery r17**, the two revisions PMR003 asked for. Both were saved before REV103 r3 existed (r13 three minutes before, r17 two seconds before), so each closure below quotes its correction and the one item neither could have read is carried. REV103 r3–r1 are on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV103 r3 dcd90e · r2 3ff337 · r1 285925 · REV102 r6 538724 · … · REV101 r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Design Document — DES103 r7 (document r13)** | 50046f (r12 50840d) | 16:13 | Against PMR003 and REV103 r2: the arrival/stun/burst sequence; "can reach"; stale handoffs replaced; the valve table, two supplies and coil-route qualification as lead proposals; state tables and ledgers moved to a new Appendix C. Diffed against r12; §13 re-tallied | |
| - | | **World and Mystery — WLD102 r17** | 26f497 (r16 812fd6) | 16:16 | PMR003 2 in full: valve table (V, V2, V3: found shut, set open; connectivity, not order; success = the sluice-head lamp); two supplies; drain R above V3's weir; the coil-route qualification; the workshop clause removed. States that r13 needs only the weir clause to match | |
| - | | Tasks 6e92d0, PM Reviews e71669, Brief 28fb1c | unchanged | | | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — **revise: one kill, one clause, one sentence, one deletion** |
| - | |
| - | r13 and r17 resolve REV103-6 and -7 and half of -8 exactly as asked, and the ledgers now live where the owner need not read them. What remains: the one-unit residual of REV103-2, which only REV103 r3 raised; the weir clause the world designer added after r13, which §11 must lift; the stale sentence at the end of the live PM report; and one question the finale's supply answer opens rather than closes — whether the relay's channel is energised water or flowing water — which decides whether opening the three valves lights the yard from the relay's side. No verdict is offered on r14 before it exists. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV103 r3 items against r13 and r17, with corrections quoted |
| - | |
| - | | Item | Correction | Verified | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **REV103-2** (residual) — the scene alternates; the rule fills the emptier battery first | r13 predates REV103 r3. §13 still: "Two stragglers, two motes, collected into the first battery"; "kills sixteen… the coil's battery from two to ten, the arc's from nothing to eight"; Appendix C ledger 3:00 "2 / 0", 7:30 "10 / 8" | **Open, unchanged.** Under §5's rule the tally is 1 / 1 at 3:00 and 9 / 9 at 7:30, and §8's discharge needs a full battery. Seventeen kills, or one straggler's mote on the way to the hall, closes it | |
| - | | **REV103-6** — stun, arrival and burst timing | r13 §13: "**8:20.** With about sixty of them in the water, the second discharge: they stop, stunned for eight seconds; six large motes… collected along the channel's edge during the stun"; "The burst: for ten seconds the cutter's hits jump body to body through the packed, recovering crowd… The burst is spent on a recovering crowd, not a stunned one, because a stun lasts eight seconds and a burst ten; how many it kills is a proposal, not a demonstrated outcome." Ledger rows 8:20 and 8:30 match | **Resolved.** Dispatch 8:00, channel full by 8:20, stun to 8:28, burst from 8:28 — one sequence on one clock | |
| - | | **REV103-7** — the finale's causal explanation | r17: the valve table ("V… shut (opened in tier two)… open; V2, the pool valve… shut… open; V3, the head valve… shut… open"; "Success condition: the sluice-head lamp… lights while the yard is lit or during a discharge in the pool; any of the three left shut leaves it dark. Order never matters"); the coil route ("a crowd held by the still-lit B1 stays where it is"); the Shut row ("the workshop stays useful"); two supplies with "Drain R sits on the relay's feed above V3's weir, so opening it empties only the relay's channel: the head pool, the junction pool and the yard channel keep their water". r13 §11 carries the same valve table and supplies as lead proposals, without the weir clause | **Resolved on the world page; §11 lacks the weir clause** — without it, "The drain valve empties the relay's feed… and touches nothing else" is false with the valves open, as r17 says. One clause to lift (the mirror rule) | |
| - | | **REV103-8** — superseded live wording | §1: "so any crowd that **can reach** it and has no nearer lit beacon starts toward it". Appendix B's "Open handoffs" replaced. But the live **PM report** paragraph (r13's own, line 559) still ends: "One PM request: rule on the routing model… and say whether the alternative still goes to the owner as a decision" — ruled at D016, answered, and now stated in decision 3 | **Half resolved**; one sentence to delete | |
| - | |
| - | ## One new item |
| - | |
| - | ### REV103-9 — What the relay's channel carries decides whether opening the valves lights the yard (both pages) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** World r17 and r13 §11, the relay chain's Understand row: "The relay is a device under clause 2: it works only while its channel carries current"; and the two-supplies paragraph: "the relay has always run on the sluice-head channel that feeds it, its own [always-wet] water… the door is on the pool side's dead line and is fed only when V, V2 and V3 join that water to a lit yard or to a discharge"; the valve table: V3 joins the head pool to "the sluice-head channel that feeds the relay"; the success condition: the lamp lights "while the yard is lit or during a discharge". |
| - | - **Why it is unresolved:** the document uses "current" for electricity everywhere else, and clause 1 says current flows through water to everything the water connects. If the relay's channel is *energised* water (as "a device under clause 2… carries current" says), then opening V3, V2 and V joins it to the head pool, the junction pool and the yard channel, and the yard beacon, the hatch and the sluice-head lamp light from the relay's side with the panel on causeway or off — the success condition is wrong, the "price" is permanent while the valves are open, and the finale's access is a lure the pages do not price. If instead the relay's channel is *flowing* water that turns the drum — which "always-wet", "empties the relay's feed and stops the drum" and the weir all suggest — then the relay is hydraulic, not "a device under the power clause", and the chain's sentence must say so; the door is then the only electrical thing at the head, and everything else in r17 holds. |
| - | - **Consequence:** small in words, but it is the one physical fact the finale rests on, and the two readings give different games at the sluice head. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail (one sentence; the world designer's, then mirrored in §11). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** state which. The hydraulic reading needs the least: "The relay is not on the power clause: its drum is turned by the water flowing in its feed, and that water carries no charge; drain R stops the flow. The door beside it is electrical, on the pool side's dead line." Then the valve table, the success condition and the drain's effect are all true as written. |
| - | |
| - | ## What holds |
| - | |
| - | Everything credited at REV103 r3, plus: the arrival/stun/burst sequence; §1's rule wording; the finale's valve table and supplies on both pages (subject to REV103-9); Appendix C holding the state tables and both ledgers, which leaves §12 and §13 as prose for the owner — the length note from REV103 r2, taken. Expedition one still closes to the unit; expedition six closes once REV103-2's one unit is fixed. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV103 r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r4) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r2) · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13 | REV101, REV102 | Resolved, closed, or delivered | |
| - | | PMR002 1–4; PMR003 1a, 1b, 1d, 3 | PM | Met in r13 | |
| - | | REV103-1, -3, -4, -5 | REV103 r1–r2 | Resolved at r10–r12 | |
| - | | REV103-6 — stun, arrival, burst | REV103 r3 | **Resolved at r13** | |
| - | | REV103-7 — finale: valves, supplies, coil route, workshop | REV103 r3 | **Resolved at World r17; §11 needs the weir clause** | |
| - | | REV103-8 — superseded live wording | REV103 r3 | **Half resolved**: §1 done; one PM-report sentence remains | |
| - | | **REV103-2** (residual) — one unit at the discharge threshold | REV103 r1, r3 | **Open** — not yet read by the lead | |
| - | | **REV103-9** — the relay's channel: energised or flowing | REV103 r4 | **Open** — World first, then §11 | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV103 r4 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV103. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV103 r4 (this page); r3 moved to the REV103 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Design Document 50046f in full, diffed against 50840d; World and Mystery 26f497, diffed against 812fd6. §13 re-tallied under §5's rule; every closed item's correction quoted; the finale's supply sentences read on both pages against clauses 1 and 2. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the quoted sentences and the tally. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Verdict:** revise — REV103-2 (one kill or one mote), the weir clause into §11, one sentence deleted from the PM report, and REV103-9 (one sentence on the world page, then mirrored). r13 and r17 have done everything else PMR003 and REV103 r3 asked. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** REV103-9 is the only item that could be a design change rather than a sentence; the hydraulic reading makes it a sentence. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** world designer — REV103-9; lead — REV103-2, the weir clause, the PM-report sentence. I review the resulting revisions when they exist and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** none. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV103 r3 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV103 r4) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV103 · r3 · 2026-09-06 16:20 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — review of **DES103 r6, the Design Document at revision r12** (r11 in history), the newest exact revision, against PMR003 and PMR002 and criteria 1–11, on the per-beat ledgers. PMR003 made REV103 Ready and asked that findings be closed only after reading their corrections; each closure below quotes the correction. REV103 r2–r1 are on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV103 r2 3ff337 · r1 285925 · REV102 r6 538724 · … · REV101 r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Design Document — DES103 r6 (document r12)**; r5 (r11) | 50840d; 6fe6ca | 16:05; 16:04 | r11 written against REV103 r1 and Clarity Q41; r12 adds the team's routing split to §4 and decision 3 (Clarity Q42). Neither read PMR003, which landed after them. Diffed against r10; §12 and §13 re-tallied | |
| - | | **PM Reviews — PMR003**; Tasks; Hub | e71669 / [PMR003](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Pm%20Reviews/Pmr003); 6e92d0; eea8e7 | 16:05–16:09 | Verdict on r10: revisions still required (ledgers, stun/burst timing, finale's valves and supply, stale wording). REV103 Ready. REV102 r6 recorded as delivered | |
| - | | World and Mystery — r16 | 812fd6 | unchanged | PMR003 2 asks World for the valves' positions and success condition, the relay's supply versus the door's, and the Shut/workshop reconciliation | |
| - | | Brief 28fb1c, Team cbf8d7 | unchanged | | | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — **revise: PMR003's remaining corrections, plus one unit** |
| - | |
| - | r11 and r12 resolve REV103-1, -3, -4 and -5 on the page and rewrite the collection rule as asked. They could not read PMR003, so its remaining corrections 1d, 2 and 3 are still present in r12; and the re-tallied scene disobeys the rewritten collection rule by one unit, at the one place a unit matters — the discharge threshold. All items are small; two belong to the world designer. No verdict is offered on r13 before it exists. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV103 r2 items against r12, with their corrections quoted |
| - | |
| - | | Item | Correction in r12 | Verified | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **REV103-1** — §12's leftover sentence; two ledger cells | The sentence is gone. "Straight after, on the far bank below the platform, the player finds a third deposit and drops the bundle into the empty slot… three drips show; the two units are gone in under a minute." 9:00: "The cutter takes two, and their two motes go into the empty battery and leak away again through the three bundles before the dock." Ledger rows 5:30 and 9:00 added; 9:40 "expired by leak 4" | **Resolved.** Re-tallied: 5/6 → 6/6; one drip then three; 2 + 2 dropped, 4 expired, 0 stored, 0 spent | |
| - | | **REV103-2** — the collection rule versus the scenes | §5: "A collected mote goes to the battery with the most room, linked or not, and to the battery placed earlier when rooms are equal." §13 re-tallied: "kills sixteen… by the collection rule they go to whichever battery has more room, so the two fill together: the coil's battery from two to ten, the arc's from nothing to eight" | **Rule resolved; scene still disobeys it by one unit** — see REV103-2 below | |
| - | | **REV103-3, -4** | Resolved at r10 (REV103 r2) | — | |
| - | | **REV103-5** — licences as interchangeable | §14: "'free' is not one thing: a CC0 dedication imposes no conditions; a BY licence requires credit; a share-alike licence attaches its own terms to anything made from the asset; a no-derivatives licence forbids adapting it at all; and tinting or resizing a sprite… is an adaptation, so each asset's own licence… decides whether that cheap route is allowed"; REF104 cited; coverage gap: "a free pack whose licence permits adaptation (CC0 does; a no-derivatives licence would not)" | **Resolved** | |
| - | |
| - | ## The findings |
| - | |
| - | ### REV103-2 (residual) — The scene alternates from the start; the rule fills the emptier battery first |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §5's rule (quoted above) versus §13 at 3:00 ("Two stragglers, two motes, collected into the first battery") and 6:00–7:30 ("the two fill together: the coil's battery from two to ten, the arc's from nothing to eight"), and everything downstream (7:50 "the arc's stays at eight"; 8:00 "the arc's takes two to reach full; eighteen expire"). |
| - | - **The tally under the rule as written.** At 3:00 both batteries are empty and in the rack (the second was found at 1:30); the first mote goes to the earlier-placed battery by the tie rule, the second to the other, which now has more room: **1 / 1, not 2 / 0.** At 6:00 sixteen motes from 1 / 1 alternate, earlier battery first: **9 / 9.** (Taking the document's own 2 / 0 start instead: the first two motes go to the arc's battery, which has more room, and the rest alternate: **9 / 9** again.) Either way the coil's battery stands at nine at 7:50, and §8 says "A discharge needs a full battery and spends it." The scene's discharge cannot happen as written. |
| - | - **Why it matters:** one unit, but it sits on the threshold that gates the signature payoff, and PMR003 1c is exactly "battery-fill priority versus the ledger". The lead applied strict alternation; the rule says most room first. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (rule versus its own example). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** seventeen kills instead of sixteen (from 1 / 1: 10 / 9; then 7:50 harvest of ten → 10 / 9; 8:00 harvest of thirty → the coil's takes ten, the arc's takes one, nineteen expire), and the 3:00 sentence to "one into each battery". Or keep sixteen and have the player pick up one straggler's mote on the way to the hall. The ledger rows change with it. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV103-6 — Stun, surge arrival and burst do not fit the stated timings (PMR003 1d, verified) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §3: a surge is "forty to a hundred and forty organisms arriving over half a minute". §13 7:50: "stunned for eight seconds". 8:00: "The second dispatch… into the channel… discharges again into the fresh surge: about sixty of them are in the water." 8:20: "The burst. **The stunned surge** is packed in the doorway and the channel mouth… for ten seconds." |
| - | - **Why it fails:** at 8:00 the dispatch has just fired and the surge arrives over the next thirty seconds, so "about sixty in the water" at 8:00 is thirty seconds early; and a crowd stunned at 8:00 for eight seconds is not "the stunned surge" at 8:20, twelve seconds after it recovered. The ten-second burst also cannot sit inside an eight-second stun, so the burst is either into a recovering crowd or the stun is longer; the document should say which. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the sequence that demonstrates the genre's payoff is not one a reader can follow on the clock the document set. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (timing). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one consistent sequence with times: dispatch 8:00; the channel fills by about 8:30; discharge at 8:30, stun to 8:38; burst 8:30–8:40 into a crowd stunned for its first eight seconds and recovering for its last two — or lengthen the stun and say so. Note that intended kills are a proposal, as PMR003 says. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV103-7 — The finale's causal explanation, three gaps (PMR003 2, verified on r12 and World r16) |
| - | |
| - | - **Valves:** §11 "set the three valves as the note says" — positions, starting states and the success condition are not stated; if only connectivity matters, say so rather than imply an order. |
| - | - **Supply:** the relay "works only while its channel carries current" and runs all expedition, yet the room's door is "on the sluice's own circuit, dead"; the drain valve "sits shut on the sluice-head channel that feeds the relay". Which channel feeds the relay, which feeds the door, and how opening the drain stops dispatch while beacons, doors and the panel keep working, is not stated. |
| - | - **Crowd targets on the coil-access route:** §11 "every crowd with a lit beacon to reach holds at the yard's" is true of the panel-to-yard route only; on the coil-in-the-pool route the panel is on causeway and the causeway's crowd stays at its nearer lit beacon, by §4's own precedence. |
| - | - **Shut / workshop:** World r16's Shut row says "the workshop and the forecast relay repair are spent"; §11's mirror says only "the forecast relay repair is spent" — the workshop's starting module remains useful under Shut, so the world page's clause needs removing or justifying. The mirror rule (§11 mirrors the world page) means this is fixed on the world page first. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail (World + Lead). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one small table on the world page (three valves: start, required, success cue), one sentence on the two supplies and what the drain cuts, one clause on the coil route's crowds, and the workshop word; §11 then lifts them. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV103-8 — Superseded live wording (PMR003 3, verified) |
| - | |
| - | - §1: "anything that **can see** it and has no nearer light" — the rule is "can reach"; the sight model is the alternative. |
| - | - Appendix B, PM report: still ends "One PM request: rule on the routing model… and say whether the alternative still goes to the owner as a decision" — ruled at D016 and answered; and "the independent critic's verdict on r3 is ready for owner review" — withdrawn at REV102 r6. |
| - | - **Category:** housekeeping (criterion 10). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** two edits; historical revisions stay in history. |
| - | |
| - | ## The new fact in r12, checked |
| - | |
| - | §4 and decision 3 now tell the owner the team is split on the routing model: the World and Mystery Designer prefers the sight-limited alternative (their page, r14 onward), the Independent Design Critic prefers the written model (REV102 r2), PM chose the written one for drafting (D016). That states this role's position correctly, labelled as a preference, and it belongs in front of the owner. No objection. |
| - | |
| - | ## What holds in r12 |
| - | |
| - | Everything PMR003 lists under "progress to retain", re-checked: the precedence and the indicator rule; the §1 state table; the failed experiment with an untargeted crowd; the drawn arc loadouts and the fuel policy; the hauler's honest cost; retrieval needing two free slots; the profitable electrician's legal layout (still leak-free, and now able to store, since collection is "linked or not"); the finale's machinery and endings; the honest length; the battery entry. Expedition one now closes to the unit throughout. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV103 r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r2) · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13 | REV101, REV102 | Resolved, closed, or delivered | |
| - | | PMR002 1, 2, 4 | PM | Met (2 with REV103-2, -6) | |
| - | | PMR002 3 / PMR003 2 (finale) | PM | Met in structure; REV103-7 remains | |
| - | | REV103-1, -3, -4, -5 | REV103 r1–r2 | **Resolved at r10–r12** (corrections quoted above) | |
| - | | **REV103-2** (residual) — the scene alternates; the rule fills the emptier battery first; one unit at the discharge threshold | REV103 r1, r3 | **Open** | |
| - | | **REV103-6** — stun, arrival and burst timing (PMR003 1d) | REV103 r3 | **Open** | |
| - | | **REV103-7** — finale: valves, supplies, coil-route crowds, workshop (PMR003 2) | REV103 r3 | **Open** — World first, then §11 | |
| - | | **REV103-8** — "can see"; stale PM request in Appendix B (PMR003 3) | REV103 r3 | **Open** | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV103 r3 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV103 (Ready per PMR003). **Artifact:** Design Review, REV103 r3 (this page); r2 moved to the REV103 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Design Document 50840d in full, diffed against 8afa59 (r11 6fe6ca via the same diff); PMR003 in full; Tasks 6e92d0. §12 and §13 re-tallied under r12's own rules; every closed item's correction quoted. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the tallies above (both the document's 2 / 0 start and the rule-derived 1 / 1 start reach 9 / 9); the quoted timing sentences; the quoted finale sentences on both pages. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Verdict:** revise — REV103-2 (one kill, or one mote), -6 (one timed sequence), -7 (a small table and three sentences, on the world page first), -8 (two edits). These are PMR003's remaining corrections with the unit added; r12 has done everything else PMR002/PMR003 asked. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** the finale's supply question is the only item that could turn out to be a design change rather than a sentence; it is the world designer's to answer. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** world designer — REV103-7's four items on their page; lead — REV103-2, -6, -8 and the §11 lift. I review the resulting revision when it exists and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** none; PMR003's handoffs already say this. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV103 r2 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV103 r3) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV103 · r2 · 2026-09-06 16:12 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — review of **DES103 r4, the Design Document at revision r10**, which was written against PMR002's closing review, World r16 and REV102 r5/r6 — three minutes before REV103 r1 existed — and so resolves two of r1's four items on its own and leaves two. Present-tense, revision-specific, on the same ledgers. REV103 r1 is on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV103 r1 285925 · REV102 r6 538724 · … · REV101 r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Design Document — DES103 r4 (document r10)** | 8afa59 (r9 fb6b6d) | 15:54 | Diffed against r9. §12 and §13 are byte-identical to r9, so REV103 r1's ledgers apply unchanged. New: §11 mirrors World r16; owner page and §16 sentences corrected; battery glossary entry; two-battery electrician drawn with a new "a module accepts one link" rule; PM's vertical-coil arrangement added; burst nominal = actual | |
| - | | PM Reviews — PMR002 completed checkpoint | 6e8d12 | 15:53 | Processed snapshots recorded; "exact-revision REV103" prioritised; nothing new assigned | |
| - | | Clarity Questions — Q41 | e183b1 | 15:55 | Licence codes in §14 as if interchangeable; verified below | |
| - | | Tasks ab97dc, Brief 28fb1c, World and Mystery 812fd6 | unchanged | | | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — **revise: one short pass; three sentences and two ledger cells** |
| - | |
| - | r10 resolves REV103-3 and every part of REV103-4 without having read them, because the same corrections came from the world designer and PM. What remains is the two items whose text r10 did not touch — one leftover sentence and one rule its own examples disobey, which r10 has now made load-bearing — plus one criterion-8 sentence the reader is right about. Each is a line. The document's rules, scenes and finale otherwise hold under the ledgers; nothing here is a rule change. No verdict is offered on r11 before it exists. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV103 r1 items against r10 |
| - | |
| - | | Item | Where in r10 | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **REV103-1** — §12's leftover sentence; two ledger cells | §12 (line 340): "Rack now: coil, battery, three bundles, one slot empty, and one drip, because a bundle touches the battery." still follows the corrected text; the 9:00 kills' motes are still absent from the ledger; the 5:00–7:30 drip timing is unchanged | **Open** — unchanged from r9 | |
| - | | **REV103-2** — the collection rule versus both scenes | §5 (line 144): "A collected mote goes to the linked battery with the most room" unchanged; §13 3:00 still collects into an unlinked battery; §13 6:00 still fills the fuller battery first. **New in r10:** §6's profitable electrician `S C C / I B B` — "a module accepts one link, so the second battery is storage until it is relinked to the coil in a shelter." Under the collection rule as written, an unlinked battery collects nothing, so the storage battery cannot store: the loadout r10 draws to show the profit cannot make one | **Open, and now load-bearing** | |
| - | | **REV103-3** — §11's Fix ending vs World r16 and §4 | §11 now "the world designer's (their revision r16…); their page owns it and this section mirrors it": reaching the room, inside the room, each ending; "the clamp fixes the signal cable only, so the panel's power positions still work… and no door is open or shut forever" | **Resolved** | |
| - | | **REV103-4** — three stale sentences | Owner page: "This document has been reviewed by an independent critic and by PM, and revisions remain open; no review is evidence that it is fun, balanced or saleable." §16: the External Critic "a member since Brief D015… PM has since disposed of it". Appendix A: "**Battery:** the one-slot module that stores charge, ten units; it powers the one module it is linked to, and leaks into any wet bundle it touches" | **Resolved** | |
| - | |
| - | ## The new rack drawings, checked by adjacency |
| - | |
| - | - **PM's vertical-coil arrangement** `S C B / S C S`, link B→C: the battery at (1,3) touches the coil and the lower-right bundle only; the two left bundles touch the coil's housing and each other and never reach the battery. **One drip, as stated.** Three bundles with no drip is indeed impossible: with the coil vertical, the battery's remaining neighbour is a bundle in every placement. |
| - | - **The two-battery electrician** `S C C / I B B`, link lower-right B→C: the linked battery touches the coil and the storage battery; the storage battery touches the coil and the insulation; the one bundle touches the coil and the insulation. **No leak, as stated.** Its purpose fails only for the reason in REV103-2. |
| - | - The harvester and arc hauler are unchanged from r9 and still leak-free. |
| - | |
| - | ## One new item |
| - | |
| - | ### REV103-5 — §14 offers five licences as one route while decision 2 proposes an adaptation (Clarity Q41, verified) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §14: OpenGameArt's assets "are offered under one of CC0, CC-BY 3.0/4.0, CC-BY-SA 3.0/4.0, OGA-BY 3.0/4.0 or GPL 2.0/3.0… each asset carries its own uploader-chosen licence." §17 decision 2: a humanoid Flood "tinted and size-varied from a free pack, the enemy would be covered at no cost." Most rows of §14's table read "not yet selected" with OpenGameArt the standing candidate; the one named pack (Kenney's Top-down Shooter, CC0, checked by the lead and by PM) is fine. |
| - | - **Why it fails:** tinting and resizing is an adaptation. Of the five licences listed, share-alike terms attach conditions to what is made from the asset and no-derivatives terms forbid the operation; CC0 alone means "no strings". The document is accurate about the source and careful about the one pack, but tells the owner "at no cost" for a route whose licence is chosen per asset by whoever uploaded it. Brief D009 requires "each asset's actual source, creator, terms, and intended use recorded", and criterion 8 says terms "must not be invented" — they are not invented here, but they are not yet a decision either. |
| - | - **Consequence:** small now, real at the moment anything is selected; and it sits inside the one owner decision that mentions cost. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail (criterion 8). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one sentence in §14 or decision 2: "the free route means CC0-licensed assets, or an asset whose recorded licence permits adaptation; share-alike or no-derivative terms would constrain or forbid the tint-and-resize route." The team's Reference Researcher has since started an asset-licence page (REF104); §14 can point at it rather than restate it. |
| - | |
| - | ## A note, not a finding: length |
| - | |
| - | r10 is about nineteen thousand words; the owner page is one. The Tasks criteria judge specificity and coherence, not length, and the owner is told where to read. But the state tables and ledgers that made this review possible are review apparatus: for the owner's copy they belong in an appendix beside the bookkeeping, with §12 and §13 kept as prose. That is the lead's call under "concise pitch plus supporting detail"; it is recorded here because the editor has reported the growth to the lead and PM and this role agrees the owner should not have to read the tallies to read the game. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV103 r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r2) · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13 | REV101, REV102 | Resolved, closed, or delivered | |
| - | | PMR002 1, 2, 3, 4 | PM | Met in r10 (2 with REV103-1, -2) | |
| - | | **REV103-1** — §12's leftover sentence; two ledger cells | REV103 r1 | **Open** | |
| - | | **REV103-2** — collection rule vs both scenes; now also vs the storage battery | REV103 r1 | **Open** | |
| - | | REV103-3 — §11 endings | REV103 r1 | **Resolved at r10** | |
| - | | REV103-4 — three stale sentences | REV103 r1 | **Resolved at r10** | |
| - | | **REV103-5** — licences listed as interchangeable; adaptation route "at no cost" | REV103 r2 (Q41) | **Open** | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV103 r2 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV103. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV103 r2 (this page); r1 moved to the new REV103 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Design Document 8afa59 in full, diffed against fb6b6d; PM Reviews 6e8d12; Clarity e183b1. §12/§13 confirmed byte-identical to r9, so r1's ledgers stand; r10's two new racks checked by adjacency. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the ledgers in REV103 r1 (archived); the quoted lines. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Verdict:** revise — one short pass: delete one sentence and add two ledger cells (REV103-1); one sentence making the collection rule and the scenes agree, which also rescues r10's storage battery (REV103-2); one sentence on what "free" means for an adapted asset (REV103-5). Then the document is, on the evidence of what r10 already does, the artifact for the owner — a judgment this role will make on r11, not now. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** none beyond the three lines; the pages agree on the finale by construction now that §11 mirrors the world page. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead — r11 with REV103-1, -2, -5. I review r11 when it exists and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** none. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV103 r1 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV103 r2) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV103 · r1 · 2026-09-06 16:05 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — independent review of **DES103 r3, the Design Document at revision r9**, the revision written against PMR002 findings 1–4 and criteria 1–11. Present-tense, revision-specific, built on per-beat ledgers this role derived from the document's own rules before trusting its prose, as REV102 r6 committed to. REV102 is closed; its r6–r1 are on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102), REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV102 r6 538724 · r5 e2db8b · r4 041852 · r3 382607 · r2 82a96b · r1 4dde90 · REV101 r8 11bd4d … r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Design Document — DES103 r3 (document r9)** | fb6b6d (r8 d37cbf) | 15:47 | Diffed against r8; §1, §4–§6, §8–§9, §11–§17 and both appendices read in full; §12 and §13 re-tallied from the rules | |
| - | | World and Mystery — WLD102 r15, r16 | dca569 → 812fd6 | 15:47, 15:49 | r15: what counts as a beacon; retarget-before-spread; state table of the signature routes; complete tier-three chain and endings table. r16: merges the lead's r9 access chain with the page's relay chain; two reconciliations stated. Canonical for W1–W4 and the chain | |
| - | | Tasks; PMR002 (closing) | ab97dc; 4f18c7 | 15:49, 15:48 | REV103 listed Blocked on "the revision addressing PMR002"; r9 is that revision and postdates the closing pass by two minutes. REV102-13 accepted by PM; quantity checks placed in this role's remit | |
| - | | Brief 28fb1c, PM Reviews a2beab, Team cbf8d7 | unchanged | | | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — **revise: one short pass, then it can be judged for the owner** |
| - | |
| - | r9 does what PMR002 asked, and the ledgers below show it: the scenes now obey the routing rule, the racks are legal and drawn, every unit of charge is tracked and the tallies close, the arc is drawn twice and played once, the fuel policy is stated as rules, the hours arithmetic is honest, the hauler's cost is true, the ending costs no salvage. PMR002 findings 1 and 2 are met on the page. |
| - | |
| - | What remains is small and specific: one leftover sentence in §12 that contradicts its own correction; one new rule that both scenes disobey; §11's endings, which the world designer has since reconciled on the canonical page and which the document still states in the version that contradicts its own cable model; and three stale sentences PM has already asked to be removed or added. None is a rule change. This role does not pre-approve r10; it names what r9 lacks, and will judge r10 when it exists. |
| - | |
| - | ## The ledgers — expedition one (§12), rebuilt from the rules |
| - | |
| - | Rules applied: six slots; battery 1, coil 2, bundle 1; a mote adds up to capacity ten; one unit a minute per bundle connected to a battery through touching bundles; modules go into empty slots wherever found; arranging and linking only in a shelter. |
| - | |
| - | | Beat | Slots (my count) | Document's ledger | Charge (my count) | Agrees? | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | 0:00 | battery = 1/6 | battery 1 | 0 | Yes | |
| - | | 1:30 | + 2 bundles + coil = 5/6 | coil 2, battery 1, bundles 2; one empty | 0 | Yes | |
| - | | ~4:00–5:00 | two stragglers → two motes; platform: `C C B / S - S`, link B→C; battery (1,3) touches coil and one bundle | arranged; one drip; stored 2 | 2, then −1/min | Yes — one drip is right for that drawing | |
| - | | 7:30 | third bundle into (2,2): `S S S` row, all connected to the battery = **6/6, three drips** | coil 2, battery 1, bundles 3; full; three drips; stored 0 | 0 | Yes — **but see REV103-1: the prose's next sentence says the opposite** | |
| - | | 9:00 | cutter kills two pursuers | not in the ledger | two motes dropped; collected or expired in seconds under three drips | **Ledger omits them** | |
| - | | 9:40 | 3 bundles + coil + battery = 6/6 | extracted with 3 bundles, coil, empty battery | 0 | Yes | |
| - | |
| - | Timing note: with one drip from about 5:00, the two stored units are gone by about 7:00 on their own; the prose attributes their loss to the three drips at 7:30. Either the third bundle is added straight after arranging, or the ledger's 7:30 row starts from zero. One cell. |
| - | |
| - | ## The ledgers — expedition six (§13), rebuilt from the rules |
| - | |
| - | Batteries: coil's (B1) and arc's (B2), capacity ten each; collection "to the linked battery with the most room" as §5 states. |
| - | |
| - | | Beat | Slots (my count) | B1 / B2 (my count) | Document | Agrees? | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | 0:00 | coil + battery = 3/6 | 0 / — | 0 / none | Yes | |
| - | | 1:30 | + insulation + battery = 5/6 | 0 / 0 | 0 / 0 | Yes | |
| - | | 3:00 | two motes | **no link has been drawn yet** (the first arrangement is at 5:00), so under §5's sentence no battery is "linked" and the motes should expire | 2 / 0 | **Rule and scene disagree — REV103-2** | |
| - | | 4:00 | panel to yard; causeway crowd's beacon dark, yard the only lit beacon → retargets | — | same | Yes — precedence obeyed | |
| - | | 5:00 | + arc = 6/6; harvester `C C B / A B I`; B1→C, B2→A; B1 at (1,3) touches C and I; B2 at (2,2) touches C, A, I — no bundle, no leak | 2 / 0 | 2 / 0 | Yes | |
| - | | 6:00–7:30 | eleven kills → eleven motes; by "most room" B2 (room 10) fills before B1 (room 8) until they equalise, so about 6 / 5 | — | 10 / 3 (B1 first, to full) | **Scene fills the fuller battery first — REV103-2** | |
| - | | 7:50 | discharge B1 → 0; 29 stunned → two large motes = 10; B1 has the most room | 10 / 3 | 10 / 3; spent 10 | Yes | |
| - | | 8:00 | discharge B1 → 0 into ~60 fresh in water → six motes = 30; B1 takes 10, B2 takes 7 (3→10), 13 expire | 10 / 10; expired 13 | same | Yes | |
| - | | 8:20 | burst: B2 10 → 0 over ten seconds; targets have shed → no motes | 10 / 0 | same | Yes | |
| - | | 8:30–11:30 | causeway empty (both crowds at the yard); junction gate shut; valve opened → pool lamp (indicator) lights, gate opens; player does not enter | 10 / 0 | same | Yes — consistent with §2, §4, §11 | |
| - | | 12:00 | causeway home; no cargo; B1's ten lost at the dock | — | same | Yes | |
| - | |
| - | Both scenes now close to the unit. The two disagreements are between the scenes and one new sentence in §5, not within the scenes. |
| - | |
| - | ## PMR002 findings 1–4 against r9 |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Where in r9 | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **1** — signature experiment vs the routing rule | §1 coil route: "The yard's beacon, on the same circuit, glows steady for those seconds… but it never flashes"; §1 state table (three routes: panel, coil, switch-then-coil, each with panel, circuit, lit beacons, crowd position→target, hatch); §4: "Precedence, stated once: a crowd retargets to the nearest lit beacon it can reach whenever one exists, and spreads… only when none does; a crowd already holding at a lit beacon never leaves it for a farther light. Only beacons pull; other lamps, including the junction pool's indicator, are not beacons"; §8 rewritten so the failure needs a crowd with nowhere to go (panel off, surge from the sluice spreading) — and says why the old version could not happen. World r15's state table reaches the same rows | **Met.** I checked each state-table row against clause 3 and the precedence; all four follow | |
| - | | **2** — space and charge | Legal drawn racks in §5 (three loadouts, the failed arrangement, two arc loadouts with adjacency stated and no leaks — I checked each battery's neighbours); charge's five states; collection, overflow, planting and retrieval rules; the arc's fuel policy (one battery per burst; no charging while drawing; no motes from shed organisms); early/middle/late; §12 and §13 ledgers | **Met, with REV103-1 and -2** | |
| - | | **3** — final mystery and endings | §11 tier three: a complete clue → inference → action → consequence chain on the existing rule; each ending's dispatch, forecast, retreat and door consequences; the ending costs no salvage; hours restated honestly; early-stop answer without achievement figures. World r16 merges this chain with the page's relay chain and reconciles two points | **Met on the world page; the document lags it — REV103-3** | |
| - | | **4** — market evidence | §11 and §17: measures named with limits; no minimum-length or refund conclusions; the "minority who finish" forecast removed; the intended player named once; price uncommitted | **Met** (REF103's own corrections are the researcher's) | |
| - | |
| - | ## The findings |
| - | |
| - | ### REV103-1 — §12 keeps the sentence PMR002 2a found, two sentences after correcting it |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §12, 3:30–7:30. The new text: the platform arrangement `C C B / S - S` with one drip; then "the player finds a third deposit… drops the bundle into the empty slot. Now the three bundles touch each other in a row, the row touches the battery, and three drips show; the two units are gone in under a minute." Then, unchanged from r8: "**Rack now: coil, battery, three bundles, one slot empty, and one drip, because a bundle touches the battery.** The player does not yet know what a drip means." |
| - | - **Why it fails:** six of six slots are full and three drips show, by the paragraph's own previous sentence and by the ledger's 7:30 row. The stale sentence asserts a seventh slot and one drip — the exact defect PMR002 2a named, now contradicted by its own fix. |
| - | - **Also in the ledger:** the two pursuers killed at 9:00 drop two motes the ledger does not record; and with one drip from 5:00 the two stored units are gone by about 7:00, before the three-drip moment the prose blames. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (leftover text); ledger completeness. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** delete the stale sentence and its duplicate "does not yet know" clause; add "dropped 2; expired 2" at 9:00; either place the third bundle immediately after arranging or start the 7:30 row from zero. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV103-2 — The new collection rule is disobeyed by both scenes |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §5: "A collected mote goes to **the linked battery with the most room**." §12 ~4:00: the battery collects two motes before the first arrangement at the platform — it is not yet linked. §13 3:00: the first battery collects two motes; links are drawn at 5:00. §13 6:00–7:30: eleven motes go "eight to the coil's battery, which is now full, and three to the arc's" — the battery with *less* room fills first. |
| - | - **Why it fails:** the sentence was added in r9 to answer PMR002 2 and it is contradicted by both scenes that were rewritten in the same revision. Either unlinked batteries collect (the scenes) or they do not (the rule), and either allocation is by room (the rule) or by the player's choice or by the coil's battery first (the scene). |
| - | - **Consequence:** small in play, but it is a rule about the arc's fuel, which the recommendation rests on; PMR002 asked for the fuel policy as rules and this is the one rule in it the examples break. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (rule versus its own examples). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one sentence, either way. Simplest, matching the scenes: "A collected mote goes to the battery with the most room, linked or not; a full battery takes nothing; a battery the arc is drawing takes nothing until the burst ends" — and make the 6:00 split follow it (about six and five), or state that the player picks the battery when both have room. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV103-3 — §11's endings contradict the canonical chain and the document's own cable model |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §11 tier three, "Fix it": "the panel is welded to one branch; that branch's beacon flashes at every dispatch for good… and **the welded branch's door is open forever while the other's is shut forever**." World and Mystery r16 (canonical for the chain, by the two pages' own division of sources) merges the lead's chain and reconciles this: "**Fix** clamps the signal cable only, so the intake is fixed and power still switches, and the lead's 'welded branch's door open forever, the other's shut forever' is dropped, because under the two-cable rule a clamp on the lever cannot fix the power line." |
| - | - **Why it fails:** §4 makes power and signal two cables switched separately; a clamp on the lever fixes what the lever does. The document's Fix ending has the clamp fix both, which §4 forbids; the world page's version does not. The document also lacks the relay chain's inside steps (drum, lever, clamp, drain valve) that give the three endings their observable cause. The lead offered the chain "for the world designer to correct and own"; the correction now exists and has not flowed back. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the finale — the thing PMR002 3 asked to be complete — is stated two ways on the two pages, and the document's way breaks the document's own rule. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (cross-page, and with §4). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** lift World r16's "Reaching the room", "Inside the room" and the endings table into §11 verbatim, as §9 does for tier one; keep Shut's fifteen-minute window and hard-stop docks (r16 already adopts the lead's version of that). |
| - | |
| - | ### REV103-4 — Three stale sentences PM has already asked about |
| - | |
| - | - Owner page: "An independent critic has reviewed this document and found it consistent, honest about its unknowns, and readable cold" — that was true of r5 and misrepresents the current state; PMR002 5 asks for "reviewed; revisions remain open". Say that. |
| - | - §16: "A critic outside the recorded team has posted a market and originality audit; PM has not yet ruled on its standing" — the External Critic is a team member since D015, and the paragraph's substance is now in §17. Remove or date it. |
| - | - Appendix A has no **battery** entry, the one Q39 asked for and PMR002 assigned; the word is used in every section. |
| - | |
| - | **Category:** housekeeping; criterion 10. |
| - | |
| - | ## What works in r9, and why |
| - | |
| - | - **The scenes are now state sequences**, and they obey the rule they quote. §1's table is the first place the document lets a reader *check* the signature interaction rather than believe it; §8's rewritten failure is a better failure than the old one, because it needs the player to have made a crowd with nowhere to go. |
| - | - **The ledgers close.** Expedition six tallies to the unit through two discharges, an overflow of thirteen, and a burst that returns nothing because its targets have shed — the fuel policy demonstrated, not asserted. That is what PMR002 2 and REV102-13 asked for. |
| - | - **The arc costs what the link rule says it costs**: six slots and no cargo for the harvester, or three bundles and a slow burst for the arc hauler; both drawn, both leak-free by adjacency I checked. |
| - | - **The tier-three chain uses only what the player already knows** — the junction valve's lesson, one pool further — and the world page's relay chain gives each ending an observable cause in the same vocabulary. Once §11 lifts it, criterion 5 holds at the finale as it does at tier one. |
| - | - **The market text now says what the measures are**, and the length is two figures with their assumptions labelled. |
| - | |
| - | ## Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
| - | |
| - | §16's list, unchanged; the arc's actual duration with pickups (§6 states the nominal); the press-rate bound. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) · [r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r6) · [r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r4-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r5) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r4) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r2) · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17 | REV101 | Resolved, closed, or delivered | |
| - | | REV102-1 to -12 | REV102 | Resolved at DES102 r3 – DES103 r2 | |
| - | | REV102-13 — the arc: undrawn, unplayed, cost unstated | REV102 r5 | **Resolved at DES103 r3 (r9)**: two drawn loadouts, fuel policy, §13 burst, §14 row | |
| - | | PMR002 1 (signature/routing), 2 (space and charge), 4 (market wording) | PM | **Met in r9** (2 with REV103-1, -2) | |
| - | | PMR002 3 (finale) | PM | Met on World r16; document lags — REV103-3 | |
| - | | **REV103-1** — §12's leftover sentence and two ledger cells | REV103 r1 | **Open** | |
| - | | **REV103-2** — collection rule vs both scenes | REV103 r1 | **Open** | |
| - | | **REV103-3** — §11 endings vs World r16 and §4 | REV103 r1 | **Open** | |
| - | | **REV103-4** — three stale sentences | REV103 r1 | **Open** | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV103 r1 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV103. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV103 r1 (this page); REV102 r6 moved to the REV102 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Design Document fb6b6d in full; World and Mystery 812fd6; PMR002 closing and Tasks ab97dc. Both expeditions re-tallied slot by slot and unit by unit from §5's rules; every drawn rack's adjacency checked; each §1 state-table row checked against clause 3 and the precedence. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the two ledger tables above; the quoted sentences. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Verdict:** revise — one short pass (REV103-1 to -4: one deletion, one sentence, one lift from the world page, three housekeeping lines). r9 meets PMR002 1, 2 and 4 on the page; 3 is met on the world page and awaits the lift. No verdict is offered on r10 before it exists. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** the two pages diverging again on the finale if §11 is rewritten rather than lifted; the ownership rule in r3/r12 covers it. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead — r10 with REV103-1 to -4, lifting World r16's chain and endings verbatim; PM — the full review PMR002 says later revisions require. I review r10 when it exists. **One exact PM request:** none; note that REV103 is unblocked by r9 and this is its first present-tense review. |
| hold the flood/design review/archive/rev104.md .. /dev/null | |
| @@ 1,706 0,0 @@ | |
| - | # Hold the Flood — Design Review / Archive / REV104 |
| - | |
| - | *Looking for one finding? Every one is summarised in a line on the [Findings index](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Findings).* |
| - | |
| - | Superseded revisions of the REV104 review, retained verbatim. The current review is on [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review); REV103 r5–r1 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive). Sections: [REV104 r6](#rev104-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r1) · [REV104 r5](#rev104-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r6) · [REV104 r4](#rev104-r4-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r5) · [REV104 r3](#rev104-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r4) · [REV104 r2](#rev104-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r3) · [REV104 r1](#rev104-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r2). |
| - | |
| - | ## REV104 r6 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV105 r1) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV104 · r6 · 2026-09-07 05:45 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — verification of the revisions published after REV104 r5 (4508fd, 19:30 UTC yesterday), through this morning's: **Campaign DES104 r5 at 9366c8 (r4 7daf34 overnight), the shared rule contract r6 at 8644ea (r5 08d5e8 overnight), World r24 at 351f4c (r23 d108c1 overnight), the Head-works r5 at 65403a, Combat r6 at 6129ea, Enemies r8 at 31ac57, Spark r5 at 454133, Floater r2 at 92603a, Districts r8 at e1136a, Colony r4 at 527f2b, Equipment r3 at dc3aa2**, and the first review of **the Exchange, CAM102 r1 at 5bc625**, the district PMR006 asked the Campaign designer to deepen "to the same standard as the three detailed districts". Three of these pages were republished at 05:12–05:16 UTC while this revision was being drafted against their overnight predecessors; the morning revisions were diffed before saving and are the ones named. Every closure below is quoted from the revision that makes it; the Exchange is reviewed with the per-beat method the three deep districts were. PM has not reviewed since PMR006 (PM Reviews da9eb5; the REV104 row on Tasks 553842 still names b92234 and 59f895, which r3 reviewed). REV104 r5–r1 are on the [REV104 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104); REV103 r5–r1 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV104 r5 4508fd · r4 c3fc80 · r3 f7735a · r2 908e01 · r1 80a882 · REV103 r5 205bfb · … · REV101 r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC (9-06) | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Campaign — DES104 r4, then r5** | 7daf34 → 9366c8 | 20:13; 05:14 (9-07) | r4 diffed against 6e4b59 in full; the bargeman's plan timed; the three ledgers confirmed unchanged and closing. r5 diffed against r4: adds the criterion-11 paragraph (X33), Districts r7's three rules and the canal as a switched state; no scene, number or ledger changed | |
| - | | **Power and Attraction r5, then r6** | 08d5e8 → 8644ea | 20:12; 05:14 (9-07) | r5 diffed against 29f5b0: §1, §2, §3, §4, §9, §10. r6 diffed against r5: §6 gains the three rules (a rescue is not an extraction; one supported berth city-wide, never a way in; route-gating state on the board before launch) | |
| - | | **The Exchange — CAM102 r1** | 5bc625 | 19:33 | **Read in full**, against the pre-registered six and the contract at r4, which it cites, and at r5–r6. Unchanged this morning | |
| - | | World r23, then r24 | d108c1 → 351f4c | 19:47; 05:13 (9-07) | r23: three W1 sentences mirrored from contract r4; the pump reserve withdrawn. r24: contract r5's Stop reading mirrored in the table and the Stop rule; the Holding Basin's evidence written; COL-I3/I4 accepted | |
| - | | Head-works r5; Districts r7–r8; Colony r4 | 65403a; cd487b → e1136a; 527f2b | 20:31–20:33; 05:13 | The Stop row; §3.3's three rules and §5 (35 expeditions); r8 adds "the figures in one place"; the Stop interface and the crane parts | |
| - | | Combat r6; Enemies r7–r8; Spark r5; Floater r2 | 6129ea; 7e588c → 31ac57; 30c5cb → 454133; 92603a | 20:37; 05:15 | The Spark row reverted; C2 acknowledged; the floater clause; the morning revisions are bookkeeping | |
| - | | Equipment r3 | dc3aa2 | 20:02 | Countersigns contract r4 in full | |
| - | | Tasks; External Critique | 553842; 4e4d20 | 05:16; 05:08 (9-07) | The REV104 row (stale); Combat's consolidated note; X33 on criterion 11 | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — **r3–r5's items are closed; the Exchange page needs its ledger run: revise, three findings** |
| - | |
| - | Everything REV104 r3, r4 and r5 asked is done at the revisions above, and done in the form asked: Stop is the brake on time and the empty flash keeps its narrower meaning on the contract, the world page, the Head-works and the Campaign; the cable reel is Equipment's U6 on the contract; a floater never leaves water on the contract, the Floater page and the Campaign; the Spark row is final on the contract and mirrored back by Combat, Enemies and Spark; the bargeman's plan is written to the lure's hundred seconds and works when timed; the Heavy has its number; the Weir intake sits beside its beacon and the Tram's board shows no intake under Off; the door shuts and the crank exists. PMR006's five blockers are closed on their pages, for PM to confirm. One pointer remains: Campaign §3.4 says the Exchange page places the reel's terminals, which it does not. This morning's revisions add rules rather than change scenes — the contract's §6 now carries Districts r7's three (a rescue is not an extraction; one supported berth in the whole city, never a way in; every route-gating state on the board before launch), the Lock Flight's canal is a switched state, and the Campaign's owner page carries criterion 11's four parts with positioning deferred — and none of them touches a ledger. |
| - | |
| - | The Exchange page is a good district — its problem (the lever is at the far end of the room from the panel, so the crowd arrangement must be committed first), its three-beacon floor that makes the precedence visible, its discovery chain and its failure case are all built from rules that exist — and its written expedition does not close. The cacher's plan plants a beacon whose battery is empty by the rules that start every battery empty, holds a crowd with it for five minutes against a hundred-second drain, has a crowd spread past a lit beacon, fires a discharge no beat funds, and retrieves two cells into one; the rack is drawn on five and three cells; and the beacon that flashes is not at the intake, which breaks the one convention the pumping district teaches first (REV104-16, -17, -18 below). None is a rule change; the page's own §11 anticipates two of the three. Whole-campaign acceptance is not offered; PMR006's verdict stands until PM reviews. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV104 items, verified at the revisions that close them |
| - | |
| - | | Item | Where | Quoted | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **REV104-12** — Stop and dispatch | Contract r5 §3 and §9; Head-works r5 §4; World r22–r24 table and Stop rule | §3: "Stop at the head-works is the brake on the shaft that keeps time, so after Stop no district is permitted: no dispatches and no flashes anywhere, the drums turn to no effect, and the Flood arrives by each district's sluice as trickles that grow, the shut regime everywhere (REV104-12, chosen; World r22's rows say the same)"; §9: "The empty flash stays what section 3 defines, a permitted dispatch the Collector did not supply, and is not Stop's image"; Head-works r5: "r5 drops 'the empty flash everywhere' from §4's Stop row… Stop's image is dark boards and trickles" | **Closed** | |
| - | | **REV104-11** — the cable reel | Contract r5 §1 | "the cable reel (Equipment's U6: one end clamped to an exposed power terminal, up to about six metres of laid line, the other end to a second terminal, so a dead line is bridged from a live one…)" | **Closed on the contract**; one pointer open (below) | |
| - | | **REV104-14** — the bargeman's lure | Campaign r4 §3.1 | "written to the lure's number: a lit portable beacon drains a unit every ten seconds, so a full battery buys a hundred lit seconds, which is the climb and not the return… at 3:50 arms it… Back at the dock by 4:10, the bargeman throws the panel to Weir… is in the house by 5:00. At about 5:30 the lure dies: the ten walkers retarget to the weir beacon and take the direct road up past the house… and the fifty floaters, which cannot climb, have no reachable beacon and spread along the Tail. The bargeman leaves the house at 6:30 behind the walkers… reaches the quay at 7:30 through the edge of the spread floaters, holding the foot of the stairs with the prod… and extracts at 7:50" | **Closed.** Timed: armed 3:50, dead 5:30 ✓; the lure nearer than the weir beacon and ignored while the quay is lit ✓; the floaters hold where the water ends and spread when the lure dies ✓ (Floater r2); the walkers pass the house upward while the bargeman is inside ✓; the rack `S L B W / S S . .` leaks nothing ✓ (no bundle touches the battery); three bundles out ✓ | |
| - | | **REV104-13** residual — the Heavy | Campaign r4 §3.2 | diff row: "takes ten hits, about five seconds of the cutter"; 3:30: "kills it in ten hits, about five seconds" | **Closed** | |
| - | | **REV104-9** residual — two cells | Campaign r4 §3.1, §3.2 | Weir intake: "Beside the weir beacon at the weir road's end, beyond the house; the weir dock past it is a hard stop"; the Tram: "Panel found Off, so the board shows the schedule and no intake; from 1:00, when Rail is thrown, it reads: first surge at 3:00, intake yard" | **Closed** | |
| - | | **REV104-8** residual — the floater | Contract r5 §3; Floater r2; Campaign r4 §3.1 diff; §3.3 3:30 | "a floater never leaves water, so it pursues nothing on dry ground"; Floater r2: "A floater stays in water — it does not walk out onto a bank, a quay or a causeway… holds where the water ends if none does"; §3.3: "The surveyor steps back a pace out of pursuit range and waits in the shallows" | **Closed** | |
| - | | **REV104-15** — the Spark crossing | Contract r5 §4; Combat r6; Spark r5; Enemies r7 | contract: "this row is final"; Combat r6: "the Spark row is reverted to the power-only death"; Spark r5: "settled… stuns nothing, damages no organism and makes no chain" | **Closed** | |
| - | | C2 note | Contract r5 §2; Combat r6; Enemies r7 | contract: "Combat r5's recommendation… is declined: the collection-without-insulation rationale for the two-second window concerns water no lit branch feeds"; Combat r6: "C2 is ruled against this page and acknowledged" | Closed | |
| - | | Minor: "gates" → lift | Contract r5 §9; World r24 | contract: "the Collector's powered return lift dies with the power"; World r24 rewrites its Stop paragraph to the contract's reading and the word is gone | **Closed** | |
| - | | Minor: §7, §8, the door's crank, D025 lists | Campaign r4 §7, §8, §3.1 5:00; Combat r6 §0.6 | §7 rows updated; §8 carries 35 expeditions / 8.4 h with PM's caveats; "the door shuts behind them when the two seconds end; the way out at 7:00 is the door's hand crank"; Combat r6 "§0.6 defers to Campaign §7" | Closed | |
| - | | PMR006 1–5 | Combat r5–r6 (two seconds; Spark); contract r4 §6 and Colony r4 (persistence: "ordinary switched-state persistence" adopted); Colony r4 ("I was persuaded by the canonical shared contract r5 to withdraw r2's immediate-loss recommendation"); Campaign r3–r4 (Stop, Keep or Leave) | | Closed on the pages; PM's to confirm | |
| - | |
| - | **One pointer open (REV104-11 residual).** Campaign r4 §3.4: "Conduction across the dry hall is by the cable reel, bridging the hall's exposed power terminals up to about six metres apart, as the Exchange page places them." The Exchange r1, written against contract r4, places none: §2 "the tail race… is where the cable reel finds its two wet points"; §11 "The cable reel is listed in the contract as joining two wet points; this hall has one narrow race and a dry gallery, so the reel has little to do here and I have kept it out of both loadouts." Either the Exchange's next revision names terminals on the gallery's runs, or §3.4 drops the clause; the cacher and the dry hand both go without the reel as drawn. |
| - | |
| - | ## The Exchange (CAM102 r1, 5bc625) against the six, and its expedition re-tallied |
| - | |
| - | **What passes.** *A distinct problem:* "the one district where you must commit to your crowd arrangement before you begin the interaction, because the interaction walks you away from the panel" — a swap is "disengage, walk, engage" along a floor with the panel at one end and the bank at the other, no shelter between; no other district makes the map's shape the price of the plan. *Three beacons in one room* so that "a crowd can see two lit beacons at once and the player can watch it take the nearer" — the precedence made visible, with no rule changed. *The discovery chain:* seven drums on one shaft, so "the drums are not clocks — they are repeaters"; a free first-visit experiment (disengage one clutch, watch its drum stop); the lead's campaign clue (the pumping district's dead drum listed on the bank) with its redundant form on the world page; a convention that travels (the board as the campaign's index of districts, which World r23 has adopted). *The consequence as a rule:* rescue between disengage and engage leaves one district permitted, readable on the refuge board (§8), and the seized clutch that makes it possible is visible from the first visit. *Assets:* three gaps, nothing claimed, and an honest fallback that names what the district would lose. *The panel table* is in the campaign's format, and the district's one way in is a topology fact the contract allows. |
| - | |
| - | **What fails.** The two loadouts and the written expedition — the criteria the page says it meets to the deep districts' standard — do not survive the ledger method, and the page carries no ledger. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-16 — The beacon that flashes is not at the intake (the Exchange §2) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** the panel table: Dock → intake "The upper landing (arrivals walk the length of the floor to reach b1)" → flashes "b1"; Floor → the upper landing → "b2"; Head → the upper landing → "b3". §2: "The Exchange has one way in for the Flood — the upper landing at the head end — so the panel here never chooses where a surge enters, only where it goes once it has." §7, 3:00: "b1 flashes; the surge enters at the upper landing and walks the length of the floor toward b1." |
| - | - **Why it fails:** contract §3: "At a dispatch the chosen intake's beacon flashes, and a surge enters there"; §8: "flashing means a dispatch". The Design Document's expedition one ends with the notebook line "the surge comes in where the lamp flashes", and every district since has kept it. Here b1 flashes at the dock end and the surge enters at the head end, the length of the floor away. One way in is a topology fact; a flash that does not mark the way in changes what a flash means, which §7 of the contract forbids and the page's own §11 half-suspects ("If Lead disagrees, the fix is a second landing"). |
| - | - **Consequence:** the player who learned the convention in the pumping district reads b1's flash as "they come in here" and plans the walk on it — the page's own 0:30 decision is made on that reading. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (contract §3 and §8). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** the flash goes where the intake is: a beacon at the upper landing flashes at every dispatch whatever the panel says (it may be dark; a dark beacon still flashes), and b1, b2 and b3 are the lures the panel lights. The table's fourth column reads "the landing beacon" in all three rows, and the district keeps its contrast — the only panel that is a pure lure — without a second landing. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-17 — The cacher's expedition does not close: empty batteries, a hundred-second lure, a crowd that spreads past a light, an unfunded discharge, and cells that are not free (the Exchange §4, §7) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §4: the cacher `B B L C C / I K S`, "link B1 → C, B2 → L… plant the lit beacon and its battery at the dock end, then walk the floor, so every Carrier in the hall is going the other way." §7: 0:30 "plants the portable beacon and its battery at the dock end too, twenty metres off. Two lures at the dock end, one of them loose charge"; 3:00 "cuts the leading edge for the first motes"; 4:30 "the two Carriers in it are on the planted battery"; 9:30 "b1 goes dark… b2 and b3 are unlit, so there is no other reachable lit beacon, and it spreads along the floor… The planted beacon is on its own battery… so it stays lit and holds the Carriers"; 10:00 "They discharge the coil into the tail race"; 12:00 "retrieves the beacon and its battery, and takes the landing route out… with two bundles and a set bank". |
| - | - **Why it fails, beat by beat:** |
| - | 1. *The rack.* Eight cells are two rows of four (contract §5); the cacher is drawn five and three, with the coil in cells the rack does not have. On a 2×4 it fits — `B B L C / I K S C`, the coil vertical — with no bundle touching a battery and B1→C crossing cells as E4 allows; but it must be drawn. |
| - | 2. *0:30.* Every battery starts empty ("Starting issue: the cutter and an empty battery"; "charge never leaves a district with the player"), and the first motes are cut at 3:00. A planted beacon lures only "armed and charged" (§3), and "planted banks collect no motes" (U3). The beacon planted at 0:30 is dark and its battery is empty for the rest of the expedition; there is no "loose charge" for a Carrier to want at 4:30. |
| - | 3. *4:30 to 9:30.* Even planted charged, a full battery "gives at most one hundred lit seconds" (U3; contract §5). The plan needs the lure lit from before 4:30 until after 9:30 — five minutes, thirty units. REV104-14 was this defect on the Lock Flight, and the lead has since written the bargeman to the number. |
| - | 4. *9:30.* If the planted beacon is lit, as the beat says, the crowd whose beacon went dark retargets to it — "the nearest reachable lit beacon… retarget to a nearer reachable lit beacon when its own goes dark" (§3) — and holds there; it does not spread, and the 10:00 beat has nothing to cross. If the beacon is dark, as (2) makes it, the crowd spreads as written and nothing "holds the Carriers". The scene needs one of the two and has both. |
| - | 5. *10:00.* A discharge needs a full linked battery. No beat puts ten units in B1: 3:00 says "the first motes" without a count, and the priority list is not stated. |
| - | 6. *12:00.* Retrieval "needs two free cells" (§5, U3). After planting, the rack holds B1, the coil, insulation, the kit and one bundle — six cells, two free; "two bundles" at extraction fills one of them, and no beat says where the second bundle came from. Retrieve and two bundles cannot both be true. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the loadout that is the district's answer to the Carrier does not work as written, and the expedition that is meant to show the 0:30 decision paying off shows it on charge the surveyor cannot have. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (scene versus clauses 3, 4, 5 and U3); missing ledger. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** the ledger, then the beats to it. A sequence that fits the rules: cut ten at the dock end as the first surge arrives (3:00–3:30, inside pursuit range, priced in hits), plant the beacon lit at about 3:45 with those ten in B2, which buys the walk north (a hundred seconds is the length of the floor) and the Carriers' attention for it; the coil's ten come from the second surge's edge at 8:00 or the plan does without the 10:00 discharge; at 9:30 the lure is dead, so the crowd spreads and the Carriers come with it, which is the failure the Grounder is for; extraction with one bundle, or the beacon left where it stands. Then a ledger table, as the Campaign's districts carry. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-18 — Two clutches, and three districts that already had forecasts (the Exchange §2, §6; Campaign §3.1–§3.2) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §2: "seven positions, one per district… two clutches engaged of a possible three, the third visibly seized"; §6: "Two of seven, and the third clutch is seized. The player is always choosing what to be blind to"; §7: "Currently permitted: Tram and Pumping." Districts r7 §3.1's order of play: Pumping, Lock Flight, Tram, then the Exchange. Campaign §3.1 and §3.2, both before the Exchange is reachable: "Forecast: first surge at 3:00, intake quay; second at 8:00"; "first surge at 3:00, intake yard; second at 8:00". |
| - | - **Why it fails:** an announced surge is a permitted dispatch (contract §3). Before the player can reach the bank, three districts have had forecasts and announced surges — the pumping district, the Lock Flight and the Tram — and the bank has two movable clutches and one seized. Either the seized clutch is engaged on one of the three and permits it for good (then it is not "two of seven", and the page must say which district can never be darkened), or the bank's state before the first visit is something the page has not stated, or one of the two early districts was in the shut regime on the expeditions the Campaign wrote with forecasts. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the bank's starting state is the campaign's first routing fact and it decides whether the Lock Flight and the Tram, as written, were possible. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail, with a contradiction until it is filled. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one sentence on the bank's state as the player first finds it — which positions are engaged and what the seized clutch holds — consistent with the three districts already played; the simplest is the seized clutch engaged on the pumping district, which then can never be darkened from here, a cost the Districts page's "later discovery that changes an earlier return" would have to give up or move. |
| - | |
| - | ### Minor, on the Exchange |
| - | |
| - | - §2 and §11 describe the reel as joining "two wet points"; contract r5 §1 is U6. The page keeps the reel out of both loadouts, which stands either way; the sentences are stale. |
| - | - §7, 9:30: "A Grounder that came in with the second surge" — Combat's composition budget places Grounders "on cable runs, not counted in a surge"; the Grounder was on the gallery, and the beat can say so. |
| - | - §9's placements and declines are for Combat; the two declines (no Crusts or Sparks here) are the kind of statement the roster's discipline needs and are noted as such. |
| - | - §11's own doubt — whether a district with nothing to carry home holds a third visit — is the honest one; the walk-and-panel decision is the answer only once the expedition closes. |
| - | |
| - | ## Criterion 11 — External Critique X33, noted |
| - | |
| - | X33 (05:08 UTC today) says the length statement in Campaign §8 is "delivered, and delivered well" and that the audience, comparables and positioning halves of criterion 11 did not appear on the Campaign page. That was accurate as a count of r4; REV104 r3's "11 in form" referred to the length and scope halves. Campaign r5 (9366c8, six minutes later) answers with one paragraph on the owner page — the player PM named provisionally, what offers value, the scope as §8's hypothesis, and "a positioning statement at the new length is deferred until the baseline ledger PM asked for is confirmed, and its evidence will be the Reference pages' measured data with their caveats, never inference from length" — and lists the deferral as decision 7. That is the four parts named, with the fourth honestly deferred rather than asserted; comparables are deferred with it, and Districts r8's "figures in one place" is the number any later positioning would quote. PM's disposition of X33 is pending; the criterion is recorded here as met in form and deferred in substance, not met by omission. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV104 r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r6) · [r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r4-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r5) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r4) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r2) · [REV103 r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r1) and earlier on the REV103 archive · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13; REV103-1 to -9 | REV101–REV103 | Resolved, closed, or delivered | |
| - | | REV104-1 to -10 | REV104 r1–r2 | Closed (contract r3–r5; World r21–r23; Campaign r2–r4) | |
| - | | REV104-11 — the cable reel | REV104 r3 | **Closed on the contract at 08d5e8**; one pointer open (Campaign §3.4 vs the Exchange §2/§11) | |
| - | | REV104-12 — Stop and dispatch | REV104 r3 | **Closed at 08d5e8, 65403a**; World r22–r23 agree | |
| - | | REV104-13 — the Heavy's wording | REV104 r3 | **Closed at 08d5e8 and 7daf34** | |
| - | | REV104-14 — the bargeman's lure | REV104 r4 | **Closed at 7daf34**, timed | |
| - | | REV104-15 — the Spark crossing | REV104 r5 | **Closed at 08d5e8, 6129ea, 30c5cb, 7e588c** | |
| - | | **REV104-16** — the Exchange's flash is not at its intake | REV104 r6 | **Open** (Campaign designer, with the lead: a landing beacon) | |
| - | | **REV104-17** — the cacher's expedition does not close | REV104 r6 | **Open — load-bearing for the district** (Campaign designer: the ledger, then the beats) | |
| - | | **REV104-18** — the bank's starting state | REV104 r6 | **Open** (Campaign designer: one sentence; the lead if it moves an early district) | |
| - | | Minor: the Exchange's reel sentences; the Grounder's placement | REV104 r6 | Open (two sentences; one clause) | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV104 r6 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV104, continued: verification of the overnight revisions and the first review of the Exchange page. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV104 r6 (this page); r5 moved to the REV104 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Campaign 7daf34 diffed against 6e4b59 and 9366c8 against 7daf34, the bargeman timed, the three ledgers confirmed; Power and Attraction 08d5e8 diffed against 29f5b0 and 8644ea against 08d5e8; the Exchange 5bc625 in full, its expedition re-tallied on eight cells under the priority rule and U3; World d108c1 diffed against da3639 and 351f4c against d108c1; Head-works 65403a, Districts cd487b and e1136a, Colony 527f2b, Combat 6129ea, Enemies 7e588c and 31ac57, Spark 30c5cb and 454133, Floater 92603a, Equipment dc3aa2 for the closures quoted; Tasks 13c20b and 553842; External Critique 4e4d20 (X33). All heads re-checked at save time. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the quoted sentences; the bargeman's plan against §5's rate and the lockkeeper's clock; the cacher's expedition against §3–§5 and U3. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Verdict:** r3–r5's findings closed at the revisions named, one pointer remaining; the Exchange page — revise: REV104-16 (a landing beacon), REV104-17 (a ledger, and the beats written to it), REV104-18 (the bank's starting state). Its problem, chain, consequence and assets pass; its loadouts and expedition do not yet. This morning's rule additions (contract §6; the canal as a switched state; criterion 11's paragraph) are consistent with the pages they cite and change no scene. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** REV104-18 may reach back into the Lock Flight and the Tram, which is why it is raised now rather than after the Exchange's ledger is run. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** Campaign designer — REV104-16, -17, -18 and the two reel sentences on the Exchange's next revision; lead — the §3.4 pointer, and REV104-16/-18 if they touch the contract or the early districts; PM — the REV104 row on Tasks names b92234 and 59f895; this page has reviewed through 9366c8 and 8644ea. I review the resulting revisions when they exist and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** none. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | ## REV104 r5 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV104 r6) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV104 · r5 · 2026-09-06 19:32 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — a supplement to REV104 r4 (c3fc80, on Campaign 6e4b59 and contract 29f5b0, both unchanged), for four pages Combat published at 19:23 UTC, two minutes before r4 was saved: **Combat Rules r5 80835f, Enemies r6 e82646, Spark r4 730ee8 and a new Floater page, r1 3ba723**. One correction to r4, one new finding, one closure. Nothing else in r4 changes; its findings and verdict stand. REV104 r4–r1 are on the [REV104 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104); REV103 r5–r1 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV104 r4 c3fc80 · r3 f7735a · r2 908e01 · r1 80a882 · REV103 r5 205bfb · … · REV101 r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | Combat Rules r5 | 80835f | 19:23 | §0 (the contract countersigned), §0.5 (the Spark row), the C2 paragraph, the effect table's power-duration row | |
| - | | Enemies r6 | e82646 | 19:23 | Header; the roster table's Floater rows | |
| - | | Spark r4 | 730ee8 | 19:23 | The "working baseline" row | |
| - | | **Floater r1** | 3ba723 | 19:23 | Read in full | |
| - | | Tasks | b780a4 | 19:24 | Combat's submission note; the REV104 row unchanged | |
| - | | Campaign r3; Power and Attraction r4; World r22 | 6e4b59; 29f5b0; da3639 | unchanged since r4 | The pages the four above were written against — **contract r3, not r4** (all four cite 59f895) | |
| - | |
| - | ## Correction to r4 |
| - | |
| - | r4's REV104-8 residual said "there is no Floater page (404)". That was true when checked at 19:21 UTC and false at 19:25, when r4 was saved: [Floater r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Enemies/Floater) was created at 19:23. Withdrawn. The residual itself stands, on the page that now exists: Floater r1 restates the lead's two sentences — "Rides the flow; **cannot climb** a lock or a ladder; otherwise a Walker" — and adds "It is in water almost by definition", which is a description, not a rule. Nothing on it or on Enemies r6 says a floater does not leave water; Campaign 6e4b59 §3.1's 3:30 beat ("the floaters stay in the water, held by the beacon", while the surveyor stands inside pursuit range at the shallows' edge) still needs that one clause, and the Floater page is now the place to put it. |
| - | |
| - | ## The new finding |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-15 — The Spark row has crossed: the contract now holds Combat's rule and Combat now holds the contract's (contract 29f5b0 §4; Combat 80835f §0.5; Spark 730ee8) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** contract r4 §4, 19:17 UTC: "A Spark killed in water energises that water for two seconds, the same window as a discharge, and by the intensity rule it stuns nothing and damages no organism… (PMR006 2, chosen as Combat wrote it; r3's stun clause is withdrawn)." Combat r5 §0.5, 19:23 UTC, citing contract r3: "The contract r3 §4: a Spark killed in water energises it for two seconds, and the conducting bodies in it that have not shed are stunned and shed… Until the Lead rules, the contract is the working baseline… so the Spark page now carries the contract's row as current, with this objection beside it." Spark r4's row: "The contract r3 §4 rules: the fresh conducting bodies in that water are stunned and shed by the ordinary rule… This page's proposal, which the Lead has not yet dispositioned, is that it should do neither." |
| - | - **Why it fails:** the two pages passed each other. The lead ruled for Combat's row six minutes before Combat, reading r3, adopted the lead's old row "rather than silently contradicting the contract". Each page now states the rule the other has just abandoned, and each says it is following the other. PMR006 2 asked Lead and Combat to "choose one row, then update the contract, effect table, Spark page and affected encounters together"; as of these revisions the contract says no stun, the effect table and the Spark page say stun and shed, and Encounter A on Enemies r6 prices the disputed reading. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the one PMR006 blocker that was closed on the contract is open again on the pages that were meant to mirror it, in the inverted form — and a reader of Combat's table learns that Sparks harvest a wet crowd for free, which is the dominance problem Combat itself argues against. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (a crossed update; no page is wrong about what it read). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** Combat and the Spark page re-read the contract at r4 and carry its §4 row, which is their own recommendation; one line in Combat's revision log saying so. Nothing for the lead to rule. |
| - | |
| - | ## Closures and notes |
| - | |
| - | - **PMR006 1 — the coil window — closes at Combat r5.** The effect table's power-duration row: "2 s — the Lead's ruling, countersigned here. r4's eight seconds is withdrawn, and so is Equipment's original eight"; the header: "no page keeps eight seconds of powered water". With Coil r2 and Equipment r2 (r3, above), every page now carries two seconds. |
| - | - **C2, crossed the other way.** Combat r5: "whether fixed panel power energises a branch's open channel water… Still unresolved… My recommendation, reversing r4's: fixed power should **not** energise open channel water." Contract r4 §2, six minutes earlier: "A lit branch's channel water is energised for as long as the branch is lit (Combat's question C2, ruled yes): it is why the electrician waits in the lit yard in insulation." The ruling is consistent with the contract's own two-second rationale — collecting without insulation after a discharge is a claim about water no lit branch feeds, which is the Tidal Barrier's flats and the Lock Flight's head basin, not the electrician's lit yard — so this is not a contradiction of rules; it is a recommendation made against a ruling its author had not seen. Encounter A on Enemies r6 prices both readings. One line on Combat's page acknowledging the ruling, or one request to reverse it, closes it. |
| - | - **D025 lists.** Campaign r3 §7 and Combat r5 §0.6 each now publish "the one list" of presentation categories that D025 asks for. They were written in the same quarter-hour and are not compared here; the Reference audit needs one of them, and the lead's §7 says it is the one. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — changes from r4 only |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Status at 80835f / e82646 / 730ee8 / 3ba723 | |
| - | | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV104-8 residual — the Floater clause | **Open**; the page exists (3ba723) and lacks it; r4's "404" withdrawn | |
| - | | **REV104-15** — the Spark row crossed | **Open** (Combat and the Spark page: carry contract r4 §4) | |
| - | | PMR006 1 — the coil window | **Closed at Combat r5**, with Coil r2 and Equipment r2 | |
| - | | PMR006 2 — the Spark | Reopened in inverted form (REV104-15) | |
| - | | Everything else in r4's index | Unchanged | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV104 r5 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV104, supplement. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV104 r5 (this page); r4 moved to the REV104 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Combat 80835f §0, §0.5, the C2 paragraph and the effect table's duration row; Enemies e82646 header and Floater rows; Spark 730ee8's baseline row; Floater 3ba723 in full; Tasks b780a4 diffed against b72189. Campaign 6e4b59 and contract 29f5b0 unchanged and re-checked as current at save time. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. One statement of r4 withdrawn (above). |
| - | - **Evidence:** the quoted sentences. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Verdict:** unchanged from r4 — revise — with REV104-15 added and PMR006 1 closed. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** pages are being published minutes apart against different revisions of the contract; the two crossings above are the cost. A page that cites the contract should cite its head at save time, as this one does. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** Combat — REV104-15 and the C2 line; lead — as at r4; PM — nothing new. I review the resulting revisions when they exist and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** none. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | ## REV104 r4 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV104 r5) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV104 · r4 · 2026-09-06 19:30 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — verification of **Campaign DES104 r3 at 6e4b59 and the shared rule contract r4 at 29f5b0**, which the lead published at 19:18 and 19:17 UTC, two minutes after REV104 r3 (f7735a) was saved on their predecessors b92234 and 59f895. Both answer REV104 r2 and PMR006's five blockers; neither could have read r3, so r3's three new findings are re-checked here against the text that now exists. World r22 da3639, Districts r4 c58832, Colony r2 12694e, the Head-works r4 706ce6, Combat r4 91a866, Enemies r5 9a72af and Utility Modules 087718 are unchanged since r3 and are cited where the new text depends on them. Every closure below is quoted from the revision that makes it. REV104 r3–r1 are on the [REV104 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104); REV103 r5–r1 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV104 r3 f7735a · r2 908e01 · r1 80a882 · REV103 r5 205bfb · … · REV101 r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Campaign — DES104 r3** | 6e4b59 | 19:18 | Diffed against b92234 in full; the three written expeditions' changed beats re-tallied; the three new panel tables and the bargeman's rewritten plan checked against the contract | |
| - | | **Power and Attraction r4** | 29f5b0 | 19:17 | Read in full; diffed against 59f895. The r2 contract notes, REV104-8's range, REV104-11, -12, -13 and PMR006 1–4 checked here | |
| - | | Utility Modules — U3, the portable beacon | 087718 | 17:14 | The drain rate the bargeman's plan now leans on | |
| - | | World r22; Districts r4; Colony r2; Head-works r4; Combat r4; Enemies r5 | da3639; c58832; 12694e; 706ce6; 91a866; 9a72af | unchanged | Cited as at r3 | |
| - | | Tasks; PM Reviews; Brief | b72189; da9eb5; 77e392 | unchanged | REV104's row still names b92234 and 59f895; this revision names their successors | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — **revise: two rule interfaces in the contract, one plan, one row, three cells** |
| - | |
| - | The lead's two revisions close most of what r2 asked, and close it with the method this role uses: the Tidal Barrier's harvest is now collected where it falls, inside the stun, and the ledger's fade column is right (REV104-6 closed); pursuit range has a value and a landmark per district, every first battery is earned at a crowd's edge and priced in hits, and collection is walking over a mote where it fell (REV104-8 closed, one residual clause on the Floater); each new district tables its panel — position, powered branch, intake, flashing beacon — and the tram's lamp is a lure that never flashes (REV104-9 closed in form, two cells wrong); both precedence sentences are corrected (REV104-10 closed); lines conduct when dry and loose cargo does not, the leak rate and the pickup rule are in the contract (the r2 notes closed); the owner page and §10 read Stop, Keep or Leave (PMR006 5 closed); the contract carries PMR006 1–4 as rules, with Combat's table and Colony's mirror pending. All three ledgers still close on eight cells under the priority rule. |
| - | |
| - | What remains, at 29f5b0 and 6e4b59: the contract's §9 now states in its own words that "Stop is the empty flash everywhere, for good", while its §3 makes a flash need the trunk's time and its own table lists Stop under what changes trunk permission, and World r22 says the brake leaves "no district… permitted" — REV104-12 is now a contradiction inside the contract as well as between accepted pages; the cable reel is still two items under one name (REV104-11, unchanged text); the Campaign's Heavy row and beat still carry the wording the contract itself has now dropped (REV104-13, half closed); the bargeman's rewritten plan holds a crowd with a lure that the contract's own §5 drains in one hundred seconds, against a climb the lockkeeper's beats price at four minutes (REV104-14, new); the Lock Flight's Weir intake is placed at a dock, which the frame makes a hard stop, and the Tram's forecast at 0:00 shows an intake its Off row says does not exist (two cells); the Floater needs one clause for the scene that now depends on it. None is a rule change; two are decisions the contract must make in one sentence each. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV104 items against 6e4b59 and 29f5b0, quoted |
| - | |
| - | | Item | At 6e4b59 / 29f5b0 | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **REV104-6** — the Tidal Barrier's harvest | §3.3, 3:30: "The surveyor wades out in insulation, shin-deep, thirty seconds to the crowd's edge at the flats beacon, and works the edge with the cutter inside pursuit range: ten walkers, ten kills, ten motes walked over as they fall; two hits taken." 4:30: "Standing at the crowd's edge in insulation the surveyor discharges: the fifty organisms in the water are stunned for eight seconds; five large motes fall among them, twenty-five units; the surveyor walks over the two nearest during the stun, ten units into the battery the discharge just emptied, and the other three fade where they fell." Ledger: "15, fade"; totals "fifteen lost to fade where they fell and ten at the dock" | **Closed.** Ledger re-tallied: dropped 35, collected 20, spent 10, lost 15 fade + 10 dock ✓. One residual, below | |
| - | | **REV104-7** | unchanged from b92234 | Closed | |
| - | | **REV104-8** — pursuit and collection | Contract r4 §3: "Pursuit range is about ten metres, a channel's width, and each district names a landmark for it. A body outside it does not chase; a crowd does not cross a district to reach the surveyor. The first battery in any written expedition is therefore earned at a crowd's edge, inside that range, and priced in hits"; §4: "collected by walking over them where they fell; nothing is collected from a distance or from a moving step". Campaign §3.1 3:30: "comes back down to the crowd's edge, where the quay's shallows meet the foot of the stairs… two hits taken"; §3.2 3:30/4:30: "steps down to the roadbed… holds the roadbed beside the step… each walked over where it fell before the next body arrives; two hits taken"; §3.3 3:30 as above. Landmarks: "the width of the quay's shallows", "the tram's length", "the length of the house's steps" | **Closed.** One residual on the Floater, below | |
| - | | **REV104-9** — the panels | Three tables (§3.1, §3.2, §3.3): position → powered branch → intake selected → beacon that flashes; §3.2: "The tram's lamp is a lure only… never flashes, never selects an intake and never dispatches. This district has one intake, the yard, whichever branch is powered"; contract r4 §3: "The flash is a signal event and needs no power: a dark beacon still flashes at its dispatch and is dark again after it"; the bargeman's order rewritten (below) | **Closed in form; two cells wrong** (below) | |
| - | | **REV104-10** (b) | §3.1's notebook: "the panel lights it only by lighting the weir road too, while the coil lights it, and the weir beacon with it, for two seconds"; 5:00: "the weir beacon on the same circuit glows steady for those seconds, which moves no crowd because the quay is lit and nearer" | **Closed** | |
| - | | **REV104-11** — the cable reel | Contract r4 §1, unchanged: "the cable reel (a laid conductor between two wet points across dry ground; it carries environmental power only and never charges a battery)"; Equipment U6 unchanged: terminal to terminal, six metres | **Open** | |
| - | | **REV104-12** — Stop and dispatch | Contract r4 §3: a district dispatches "when its drum's contact closes and the trunk is carrying time"; §9's table, trunk permission, what changes it: "the governor's Stop, Keep or Leave"; §9's paragraph: "The drums keep turning on flow, so timing survives Stop; supply does not… Stop is the empty flash everywhere, for good." World r22, unchanged: "Gone everywhere: the brake stops the shaft; no district is permitted"; "without permission they make no pulse" | **Open — now inside the contract** (below) | |
| - | | **REV104-13** — the Heavy's wording | Contract r4 §10: "the Heavy's hit count stays a number (PMR005)" — closed there. Campaign §3.2's diff row unchanged: "cannot be cleared by the cutter in useful time… (Combat's wording)"; 3:30: "kills it in the seconds the cutter needs" | **Half closed**: the contract; the Campaign's row and beat still to fix | |
| - | | r2 contract notes 2, 3 | §1: "Lines conduct when dry: cables and rails carry current along their length. A dry bed, loose cargo (crane parts, bundles on dry ground) and equipment housings do not"; §4: "collected by walking over them where they fell" | **Closed** | |
| - | | PMR006 5 — "slower" | Owner page: "Keep, and you become the thing upstream that keeps time… Leave, and the machine runs as you found it"; §10.6: "Stop, Keep or Leave" | **Closed at 6e4b59** | |
| - | | PMR006 1–4 | Contract r4 §4: two seconds "confirmed: Equipment countersigned at Coil r2 and Equipment r2; Combat's effect table still carries eight seconds… to be brought to this row"; the Spark "stuns nothing and damages no organism… r3's stun clause is withdrawn"; §6: four kinds of persisting state; §9: "The refuge's circuit is fed with the pumping district's… and dies with it, late in the cascade; the world designer's proposed salvage-fed pump reserve is declined" | Stated as rules; Combat's table and Colony's mirror pending, as the contract says. PM's to close | |
| - | | Minor: "drives its gates" | Contract r4 §9 unchanged: "without the harvest that drives its gates"; Collector r4 §2: "All four are hand-worked… none is powered"; "The return lift, which is powered, and is not the same thing as the gates" | Open (one word) | |
| - | | Minor: §7 "PMR004 3 corrections pending"; §8's reasons | unchanged at 6e4b59 | Open (stale) | |
| - | |
| - | ## The findings |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-12 — The contract now says a thing its own dispatch rule forbids (contract 29f5b0 §3 versus §9; World r22) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §3: "A district dispatches when its drum's contact closes and the trunk is carrying time… either alone stops announced surges." §9, the table: trunk permission is changed by "the governor's Stop, Keep or Leave". §9, the paragraph: "The drums keep turning on flow, so timing survives Stop; supply does not… Stop is the empty flash everywhere, for good." World r22's table, which the contract says "carries the same table with the fiction": trunk permission after Stop, "Gone everywhere: the brake stops the shaft; no district is permitted"; local timing, "without permission they make no pulse". The Head-works r4 §4 has the contract's paragraph; its r3 had World's. |
| - | - **Why it fails:** an empty flash is a permitted dispatch with no supply (§3's own definition). If the brake stops the shaft that keeps time — which is what "Stop", "the brake" and World r22 all say — then after Stop nothing is permitted, nothing flashes anywhere, and every district is in the shut regime (§3's "unannounced trickles that grow and a dark forecast"). If instead Stop ends only the harvest and the shaft keeps turning, then flashes continue and World r22's two rows are wrong, and "the brake on the shaft" is a brake on something other than the time source. The contract states the first in §3 and the table and the second in the paragraph. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the finale's readable state — a city of flashing beacons with nothing behind them, or a city of dark boards and trickles — is the campaign's last image and its most expensive presentation decision, and the Collector r4's Stop reconciliation (accepted in PMR006) was written to the paragraph. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (within the contract; between it and World r22). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one sentence choosing. The reading everything else already supports: "The brake stops the shaft, so no district is permitted: after Stop there are no dispatches and no flashes; the drums turn to no effect and the Flood arrives by each district's sluice as trickles." Then §9's paragraph and the Head-works r4 row lose "Stop is the empty flash everywhere", and the empty flash stays what §3 defines: a permitted dispatch the Collector did not supply. If the lead prefers the other reading, World r22's two rows change and the brake needs another name. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-11 — The cable reel is still two items under one name (contract 29f5b0 §1; Equipment U6; Campaign §3.4) |
| - | |
| - | Unchanged text at both revisions; as in r3. Contract §1 has "a laid conductor between two wet points across dry ground"; the owner §10 names, Equipment, has U6: "clamp one end to an exposed **power** terminal… at most six metres… a second power terminal", and asks that the two not be "integrated… under one name"; Combat and Enemies have already corrected to U6. Campaign §3.4's dry hall conducts "by the cable reel" and has no wet points. **Minimal change:** clause 1 adopts U6's sentence; §3.4 names the Exchange's terminals in one line. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-14 — The bargeman's plan holds the crowd with a lure that the contract drains in a hundred seconds (Campaign 6e4b59 §3.1; contract 29f5b0 §5; U3) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §3.1, the two loadouts: "the bargeman has already planted the portable beacon, armed and lit, on the Tail's far bank… then the bargeman throws the panel to Weir from the dock. The quay beacon dies, the crowd retargets to… the lure… and crosses to the far bank and holds there; the direct road is clear and the door at the top is live. The price is the beacon and its battery, draining a unit every ten seconds and left on a bank the crowd now stands on, and the second dispatch, which under Weir enters at the weir dock beyond the house, so the bargeman must be out and down before it." Contract §5: the portable beacon "drains a unit every ten seconds while lit"; U3: "a full battery gives at most one hundred lit seconds… At empty it darkens". The lockkeeper's beats, same district: foot of the stairs at 4:00, lock house at 5:00, out at 7:00, quay at 8:10 — the round trip from the Tail to the house and back is about four minutes. |
| - | - **Why it fails:** the lure was armed before the first surge, so it is dark within a hundred seconds of arming — before the bargeman is at the house, and earlier still if it was lit while carried. When it darkens, the crowd on the far bank retargets to the nearest reachable lit beacon: under Weir that is the weir beacon at the top of the flight, past the lock house, and the ten walkers take the direct road while the fifty floaters, which cannot climb, have no reachable beacon and spread along the Tail. The plan names the drain as its price and then plays as if the lure held for the whole trip. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the district's second loadout — the one that "fights nothing" — fails on the contract's own number in the scene meant to show it does something the lockkeeper cannot. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (the outline versus §5's rate). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** write the plan to the number. Arm the beacon at the switch, not before; the lure buys about a hundred seconds, which is the climb and not the return; state what the bargeman does when it dies — for instance is inside the house with the door live, while the walkers pass the house on the road to the weir beacon beyond it and the floaters spread in the Tail — and price the way down accordingly; or give the bargeman a second battery for the lure at the cost of a bundle, and say so. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-13 (residual) — The Campaign's Heavy row and beat (Campaign 6e4b59 §3.2) |
| - | |
| - | The contract r4 restores the number ("the Heavy's hit count stays a number"); the Campaign's diff row still reads "cannot be cleared by the cutter in useful time… (Combat's wording)" — a wording Combat r4 and Enemies r5 have withdrawn — and the 3:30 beat reads "kills it in the seconds the cutter needs". The beat's cost ("the stop cost the lead", the crowd "twenty metres behind") needs the number: ten hits, about five seconds. One row, one clause. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-9 (residual) — Two cells in the new panel tables (Campaign 6e4b59 §3.1, §3.2) |
| - | |
| - | - §3.1, Weir, intake selected: "The weir dock, at the far end of the weir road beyond the house." Contract §6: "docks are hard stops for the Flood"; §3.1's own consequences make the weir dock the one the colony may later hold ("refitting the held dock there reverses which end of the flight is hot"). A surge cannot enter at a dock, held or not; the intake is beside the weir beacon. |
| - | - §3.2, the written expedition: "Panel found Off. Forecast: first surge at 3:00, intake yard; second at 8:00, intake yard" — while the table's Off row reads "No dispatch: the shut regime". Read at 0:00 with the panel Off, the board shows no intake; it shows the yard from 1:00, when Rail is thrown. One clause. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-8 (residual) — The Floater in the scene that now depends on it (Campaign 6e4b59 §3.1, 3:30) |
| - | |
| - | "the ten walkers come out one and two at a time… the floaters stay in the water, held by the beacon." Under R1 pursuit outranks everything but the stun, and the Floater's own line applies only "while water flows"; a floater within ten metres of a surveyor at the foot of the stairs chases like any body unless a rule keeps it in water. The Floater's definition is "attributed on the Campaign page until transferred" (§7) and there is no Floater page (404); the Campaign's diff says only "carried by flowing water, unable to climb locks or ladders". One clause — "a floater does not leave water" — makes the beat true and is consistent with 8:10's survivors walking back through the Tail. **Also,** §3.3 between 3:30 and 4:30: the surveyor stands at the crowd's edge, inside pursuit range, for a minute after the tenth kill; say where they stand (a step back out of range, then in again at 4:30 — the whole flats are one body, so the discharge does not need the edge). |
| - | |
| - | ### Minor |
| - | |
| - | - Contract §9 "the harvest that drives its gates" → *lift* (Collector r4 §2); World r22 the same. |
| - | - Campaign §7's Collector and Head-works rows ("PMR004 3 corrections pending") and §8's reasons for the unaccepted duration are stale against Districts r4 §5 and PMR006. |
| - | - §3.1, 5:00: the door shuts when the two seconds end; the 7:00 exit is by the crank World r22 grants every hatch — one clause, as at r3. |
| - | |
| - | ## What holds |
| - | |
| - | The lead's r3 is the method applied to its own scenes: each first battery is now a beat with a place, a range and a cost; the harvest is where the motes are; the panels are tabled the way the pumping district's was; the dark-beacon flash is a clean rule that makes the Tram's Rail row consistent with clause 3; the presentation list in §7 counts what each element costs rather than how many names there are, and puts authored art to the owner as the Brief requires. The contract r4's persistence rule (§6) and intensity rule (§4) are the two clauses the specialists most needed and both are stated once. Three ledgers close. |
| - | |
| - | ## Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
| - | |
| - | The ten-metre range, which every scene now leans on (the contract says so); the cascade's cadence; whether a hundred lit seconds is the right price for a lure; the presentation count against the Reference audit. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV104 r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r4) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r2) · [REV103 r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r1) and earlier on the REV103 archive · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status at 6e4b59 / 29f5b0 | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13; REV103-1 to -9 | REV101–REV103 | Resolved, closed, or delivered | |
| - | | REV104-1 to -5 | REV104 r1 | Closed (contract r3–r4; World r22) | |
| - | | REV104-6 — the Tidal Barrier's harvest | REV104 r2 | **Closed at 6e4b59** | |
| - | | REV104-7 — D023 embodied | REV104 r2 | Closed at b92234 / 59f895 | |
| - | | REV104-8 — the first battery: pursuit and collection | REV104 r2 | **Closed at 29f5b0 and 6e4b59**; one Floater clause residual | |
| - | | REV104-9 — the new panels | REV104 r2 | **Closed in form at 6e4b59**; two cells residual | |
| - | | REV104-10 — two precedence sentences | REV104 r2 | **Closed** (a at b92234; b at 6e4b59) | |
| - | | **REV104-11** — the cable reel | REV104 r3 | **Open** (lead: clause 1 adopts U6) | |
| - | | **REV104-12** — Stop and dispatch | REV104 r3 | **Open — inside the contract** (lead with World: one sentence; then the Head-works' row) | |
| - | | REV104-13 — the Heavy's wording | REV104 r3 | Contract closed at 29f5b0; **Campaign row and beat open** | |
| - | | **REV104-14** — the bargeman's lure against the drain rate | REV104 r4 | **Open** (lead: the plan written to the number) | |
| - | | Minor items | REV104 r3–r4 | Open (one word; two stale passages; one clause) | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV104 r4 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV104, continued on the successors of the revisions Tasks b72189 names. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV104 r4 (this page); r3 moved to the REV104 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Campaign 6e4b59 diffed against b92234, the changed beats re-tallied; Power and Attraction 29f5b0 in full, diffed against 59f895; Utility Modules 087718 U3 for the drain rate; World da3639, Collector 75c09e, Head-works 706ce6, Combat 91a866 and Enemies 9a72af as at r3. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the quoted sentences; the Tidal Barrier ledger re-tallied; the bargeman's plan timed against the lockkeeper's beats and §5's rate. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Verdict:** revise — REV104-12 (one sentence deciding what the brake stops, then one row), REV104-11 (clause 1 adopts the owner's item), REV104-14 (the bargeman's plan written to the number), REV104-13's Campaign residual (one row, one number), two table cells, one Floater clause, and the minor items. Closed by the lead's r3/r4: REV104-6, -8, -9, -10, the contract notes and PMR006 5. No whole-campaign acceptance is offered; PMR006's verdict stands with these beside it. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** REV104-12 is a decision, not a correction, and three accepted pages have written to one side or the other of it; the sooner the contract chooses, the fewer pages rewrite. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead — REV104-11, -12, -13 residual, -14, the cells and the Floater clause on the next contract and Campaign revisions; world designer — the §9 sentence once chosen, mirrored; Campaign designer — the Head-works' Stop row after it; PM — nothing new. I review the resulting revisions when they exist and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** none. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | ## REV104 r3 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV104 r4) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV104 · r3 · 2026-09-06 19:20 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — review of the exact expanded package Tasks (b72189) and PMR006 name: **Campaign DES104 r2 at b92234, the shared rule contract r3 at 59f895, World and Mystery r22 at da3639, Districts r4 at c58832 and Colony r2 at 12694e**, with the Collector r4 (75c09e), the Head-works r4 (706ce6), Combat r4 (91a866), Enemies r5 (9a72af), Inventory and Charge r2 (9b0547), Equipment r2 (ae4543) and the Coil page (0696cf) read where the package cites them. **A correction first:** REV104 r2 (908e01) reviewed the Campaign at 9d3590; b92234 had superseded it thirteen minutes before r2 was saved. r2's ledgers were of r1's six- and nine-cell racks and are superseded here; every r2 finding is re-checked below against the revision that now exists, and its verdict is not inherited. REV104 r2 and r1 are on the [REV104 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104); REV103 r5–r1 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV104 r2 908e01 · r1 80a882 · REV103 r5 205bfb · … · REV101 r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Campaign — DES104 r2** | b92234 | 18:37 | Read in full and diffed against 9d3590. §3's three expeditions re-tallied beat by beat on the eight-cell rack under the contract r3's priority rule | |
| - | | **Power and Attraction r3** | 59f895 | 18:37 | Read in full; diffed against 69024c. REV104-1, -3, -4 and the r2 contract notes checked here | |
| - | | **World and Mystery r22** | da3639 | 18:47 | Diffed against r21 9aab5e; aligns to the contract r3 | |
| - | | **Districts r4** | c58832 | 18:42 | §9's resolved list; §5's baseline path unchanged from r3 | |
| - | | **Colony r2** | 12694e | 18:48 | Stop timing, persistence and the refuge baseline read; D022–D024 adopted | |
| - | | The Collector r4; the Head-works r4 | 75c09e; 706ce6 | 18:40–18:41 | The Stop reconciliation the contract assigned; the Stop row | |
| - | | Combat r4; Enemies r5 | 91a866; 9a72af | 18:42 | The Heavy wording and the reel claim withdrawn; the coil window as Combat states it | |
| - | | Inventory and Charge r2; Equipment r2; Coil | 9b0547; ae4543; 0696cf | 18:50–18:55 | E1–E8 transfer; the reel's item definition (U6); the two-second ruling countersigned | |
| - | | PMR006; Tasks; Brief; PM Reviews | a28870; b72189; 77e392; da9eb5 | 18:57–19:00 | Five blocking contradictions; D025; REV104's assignment: "Name exact revisions; do not inherit the earlier World-only verdict" | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — **revise: the same ledger, three rule interfaces, two tables, two sentences** |
| - | |
| - | The package is what PMR006 calls it, the first coherent skeleton, and it is coherent in the places this role tested first: the contract r3 states the rules in one place and now carries D023, D024 and REV104-1, -3 and -4 as rules; the three deep districts are redrawn on eight cells with the priority rule and **all three ledgers close arithmetically**, which closes REV104-7; the Lock Flight's refuge consequence has a replacement (the service assembly); the Tidal Barrier's floaters now walk to the lit beacon (REV104-10a closed) and its header count is fixed; the owner page's four beats each point at a designed page. Two districts pass the pre-registered six on paper. |
| - | |
| - | What still fails, at b92234 and 59f895: the Tidal Barrier's 4:30 harvest is still collected from a minute away (REV104-6, unchanged text); Stop's effect on dispatch is stated three incompatible ways across the contract, the world page and the Head-works, two of which PMR006 accepted in the same report (REV104-12, new); the contract's cable reel is not the item its owner defines, and the Exchange outline rests on the difference (REV104-11, new); the first battery in each written expedition is still filled by a beat outside the pursuit and collection rules (REV104-8); the new panels still do not say which position selects which intake or what flashes (REV104-9); the contract and the Campaign adopted a Heavy wording its author withdrew and PM rejected (REV104-13, new); one notebook sentence (REV104-10b). PMR006's five blockers are not repeated; where this role read the same pages, what it saw is recorded. No whole-campaign acceptance is offered; the verdict agrees with PMR006's "integration changes required" and adds the items above to its list. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV104 r2 items against the package, verified at the revisions that exist |
| - | |
| - | | Item | At b92234 / 59f895 / da3639 | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **REV104-1, -3, -4** — contract mirrors | Contract r3 clause 3: "A district dispatches when its drum's contact closes and the trunk is carrying time: the drum makes the moment, the trunk permits it… either alone stops announced surges"; "At a dispatch the chosen intake's beacon flashes, and a surge enters there if the supply provides one. A flash with nothing behind it is the empty flash, a readable state of its own"; clause 2: "The city runs on charge harvested from the Flood: the Collector's wheels take charge from the mass passing through, the head-works' switch-house stores and distributes it along the thick cables". World r22 adopts the contract's wording | **Closed** (-4 provisional under D024, as all three pages say) | |
| - | | **REV104-2** | Contract r3 clause 4: "Charge never leaves a district with the player" | Closed; unchanged | |
| - | | **REV104-5** | World r22 unchanged from r21 on the bank's price; Campaign §3.4 reads dark as the shut regime | Closed | |
| - | | **REV104-6** — the Tidal Barrier's harvest | §3.3, 4:30, unchanged in substance: "From the house's step in insulation the surveyor discharges: the fifty organisms standing in it are stunned; five large motes, twenty-five units; the battery, emptied by the discharge, takes ten and fifteen are lost as overflow. Battery ten again"; 13:30: "a full battery lost at the dock". The crowd still holds "at the flats beacon, on the mole's landward end"; "the crossing takes a minute"; motes "fade in seconds" (clause 4) | **Open — load-bearing.** Corrected ledger: collected 10, not 20; lost 25 as fade on the flats, 0 at the dock | |
| - | | **REV104-7** — D023 embodied | Contract r3 clauses 4–5 (priority list; eight cells; "There is no rack expansion; the Campaign page's third row and its crane parts are withdrawn in that form"); Campaign §3.1–§3.3 redrawn; §4 "r1's third row unlocked by the crane parts is withdrawn"; §3.1 consequences: the parts "are the material for the colony's reusable support assembly". Ledgers re-tallied below | **Closed at b92234 and 59f895** | |
| - | | **REV104-8** — the first battery | §3.1 3:30, §3.3 3:30 and §3.2 4:30 unchanged: "The ten walkers climb the stairs in pursuit" from a crowd held at the quay; "Ten walkers wade to the house's steps in pursuit" across the minute's crossing; "ten kills, ten motes, collected as they fall" from the climbing tram. Contract r3 now orders pursuit above attraction (R1) but gives the range no value | **Open** | |
| - | | **REV104-9** — the panels | §3.2 unchanged: "Panel found Off. Forecast: first surge at 3:00, intake yard"; Rail lights the lamp; nothing says what flashes. §3.1's bargeman unchanged. Contract r3 adds the tram's lamp to "What is a beacon" as "a moving beacon where a district adds one", which makes the question sharper, not answered: a beacon that can be selected by the signal line has an intake; one that cannot is a lure | **Open** | |
| - | | **REV104-10** — two sentences | (a) §3.3 6:00 now: "those ten walk to the nearest lit beacon they can reach, the flats beacon, and join the crowd there", and 9:00 counts them ("a hundred and forty") — **closed**. (b) §3.1's notebook unchanged: "the panel cannot light it without lighting the road, but the coil can" | (a) closed; (b) **open** | |
| - | | r2 contract notes 1–4 | 1, the leak rate: clause 1 "one unit per minute per wet bundle reachable from its terminals" — **closed**. 2, how a mote is collected: still implicit ("Nothing but the surveyor and a Carrier can take a mote"); Inventory E5's pickup is the mechanic — one clause still. 3, dry conductors: clause 2 "the water, rail or line it stands on" — the rail is now a conductor; that loose dry cargo (the crane parts) does not conduct is still only on the Campaign page. 4, the pointer and the mirrors — **closed** | Two closed, two reduced to a clause each | |
| - | | r2 minor items | §3.3's header count fixed ("three empty cells"); the tide glass deferred; §6's "the critic's five findings… are the world designer's to close" gone; §10.8 staffing gone | Closed | |
| - | |
| - | ## The three expeditions, re-tallied on eight cells under the priority rule |
| - | |
| - | **3.1 The Lock Flight, lockkeeper.** `C C B I / S S . .`, link B→C, priority: the one battery. The battery at (1,3) touches the coil, the insulation and the empty cell below it; the bundles at (2,1)–(2,2) touch the coil's housing and each other — no leak ✓. 0:00 four empty ✓; 1:30 two bundles, two empty ✓; 3:30 ten kills → 10 ✓; 5:00 discharge: full linked battery ✓, spent, the Head energised for two seconds, the door opens ✓ (one clause wanted: the door shuts when the current ends, and the 7:00 exit is by its crank, which World r22 grants every hatch); 5:30 two parts into the last two cells, full (8 / 8) ✓ — a part at (2,3) now touches the battery, and "dry metal and do not conduct" is what keeps that leak-free, so the clause belongs in the contract (note 3); 8:10 extracted eight cells ✓. **Closes: dropped 10, collected 10, spent 10, lost 0.** Open: REV104-8 (3:30), REV104-9 and -10b. |
| - | |
| - | **3.2 The Tram Incline, tram crew.** `C C Bc A / I Ba K S`, links Bc→C, Ba→A, priority Bc then Ba. Bc at (1,3) touches the coil, the arc and the kit; Ba at (2,2) touches the insulation, the kit and the coil; no bundle touches either — no leak ✓. Ba→A crosses cells, which E4 now allows ("links may cross any cells") ✓. 3:30 the heavy's mote → 5 / 0 ✓ (first on the list). 4:30 ten kills: coil's battery to ten, arc's takes five → 10 / 5 ✓ — E3 applied correctly, and the page's own note is right that most-room would have given 8 / 7 and no discharge. 5:30 spread ✓ (no lit beacon reachable). 6:00 one bundle → full ✓. 9:40 15 lost at the dock ✓. **Closes: dropped 15, collected 15, lost 15 at the dock.** Open: the 4:30 collection (REV104-8), the panel (REV104-9), the Heavy's number (REV104-13). |
| - | |
| - | **3.3 The Tidal Barrier, tidewatcher.** `C C B K / S S I S`, link B→C. The battery at (1,3) touches the coil, the kit and the insulation below; the bundles touch the coil's housing, each other, the insulation and the kit — no leak ✓. 0:00 three empty ✓; 1:30 three bundles, full ✓; 3:30 → 10 ✓ (REV104-8); **4:30 fails (REV104-6)**; 6:00 the floaters retarget ✓; 9:00 a hundred and forty ✓; 13:30 "a full battery" ✗. **Corrected ledger: dropped 35, collected 10, spent 10, lost 25 (fade, on the flats), 0 at the dock.** |
| - | |
| - | ## The findings |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-6 — The Tidal Barrier's harvest is still collected from a minute away (Campaign b92234 §3.3, 4:30; load-bearing) |
| - | |
| - | Unchanged from r2, quoted above against the same text. The large motes drop where the stunned stand, at the flats beacon on the mole's landward end; the surveyor is on the signal house's step a minute's crossing away; motes fade in seconds and are collected by pickup. Collected is 0, the battery is empty from 4:30, and the district's lesson — "the discharge buys charge, not passage" — is false in the scene written to show it; the tidewatcher's coil is dead weight and the loadout contrast with the runner collapses. **Category:** contradiction (scene versus clause 4). **Minimal change:** one beat — the surveyor wades in insulation to the crowd's edge on the knee-deep flats, discharges there (two seconds of energised water, two health if uninsulated, none in insulation), collects along the edge during the eight-second stun and returns to the house, with the pursuit and hits it costs stated; or the coil leaves the tidewatcher's rack and the district gets a second loadout that does something else. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-12 — What Stop does to dispatch is stated three ways, on three pages, two of them accepted in PMR006 (contract 59f895 §9; World da3639; the Head-works 706ce6 §4) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** contract r3 clause 3: a district dispatches "when its drum's contact closes and the trunk is carrying time… either alone stops announced surges"; its §9 table lists "the governor's Stop or Keep" under what changes trunk permission, and its Stop paragraph says "The relay drums keep turning on flow, so timing survives Stop; supply does not, because the Collector's wheels stop cycling the Flood" — silent on whether permission survives. World r22's table, aligned to the contract: trunk permission after Stop, "Gone everywhere: the brake stops the shaft; no district is permitted"; local timing after Stop, "Drums keep turning on flow, so timing survives Stop; without permission they make no pulse." The Head-works r4 §4, rewritten "to the ratified cascade": "Timing survives — the drums keep turning on flow — but supply does not, so every district's beacon goes on flashing on the cadence with nothing behind it. Stop is the empty flash everywhere, for good." |
| - | - **Why it fails:** under the contract's own clause 3, a flash needs the drum *and* the trunk. If the brake stops the shaft, no district is permitted, no beacon flashes, and every district is in the shut regime (trickles by the sluice, dark boards) — which is what the Head-works r3 said and World r22 says. The Head-works r4 has followed the contract's §9 sentence, which names only timing and supply, into the opposite conclusion: flashes everywhere, forever. The contract's §9 is the cause: it gives Stop's consequence for the harvest and the drums and omits the trunk. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the finale's readable state after the campaign's biggest choice is undefined — the empty flash everywhere and the shut regime everywhere are different games and different assets (a flashing beacon versus a dark one), and the Collector r4's Stop reconciliation, which PMR006 accepts, depends on which. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (within the contract's own dispatch rule; between two accepted pages). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one sentence in the contract's §9: "The brake stops the shaft, so no district is permitted: after Stop there are no dispatches and no flashes anywhere; the drums turn without effect, and the Flood arrives by each district's sluice as the shut regime's trickles." Then the Head-works' Stop row loses "Stop is the empty flash everywhere" and gains the shut regime; the empty flash stays what World r22 and the Collector define it as, a permitted dispatch with no supply. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-11 — The contract's cable reel is not the item its owner defines, and the Exchange outline rests on the difference (contract 59f895 clause 1; Equipment U6; Campaign §3.4) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** contract r3 clause 1: "the cable reel (a laid conductor between two wet points across dry ground; it carries environmental power only and never charges a battery)". Contract §10 gives the catalogue to "Equipment and its item pages". Equipment's U6, the item page: "clamp one end to an exposed **power** terminal, walk a traversable route of at most six metres, and clamp the other end to a second power terminal… cannot clamp to signal cables, living targets, rack batteries, ordinary props or inaccessible ends"; Equipment's reconciliation table: "do not integrate both under one name". Combat r4 and Enemies r5 have already corrected their reel claim "against Equipment's actual revised definition". Campaign §3.4: "Conduction across the dry hall is by the cable reel." |
| - | - **Why it fails:** two items share one name on the contract and its named owner; the contract adopted the Campaign r1 version PM's PMR005 5 already distinguished from the item ("it is not automatically the older arbitrary wet-point connector"). The Exchange is "a dry hall": under the contract's sentence a reel needs two wet points it does not have; under U6 it needs exposed power terminals, which the outline never places. Whichever is meant, the district's machinery problem is written on the other. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the Exchange, the one district still at outline, cannot be deepened (CAM102) until the tool that carries its conduction is one thing; and R10's reach question, which PMR005 tied to the reel, is answered differently by each. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (contract versus its own ownership map). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** clause 1 adopts U6's sentence (terminal to terminal, six metres, no wet-point form), since §10 already makes Equipment the owner; §3.4 then names the Exchange's terminals in one line. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-8 — The first battery in each written expedition is filled by a beat the rules do not support (Campaign b92234 §3.1 3:30; §3.2 4:30; §3.3 3:30) |
| - | |
| - | Unchanged text at b92234, quoted in the table above. The contract r3 now settles the order this finding needed — R1, "pursuit outranks attraction… role targets sit below pursuit and above attraction" — and still gives pursuit range no value; "local and short" cannot reach a crowd held a basin away (3.1) or across a crossing the page itself prices at a minute (3.3), and motes dropped beside a climbing tram are not picked up from its step (3.2). The Collector r4 §4 shows the honest version: "the player works the rim with the cutter while the first mass gathers". **Category:** contradiction (scenes versus clauses 3–4), and one missing number. **Minimal change:** a value or a landmark for pursuit range in clause 3 (Combat's page carries the tuning bound); in 3.1 and 3.3 the surveyor at the crowd's edge for the ten kills, priced in hits and time; in 3.2 the ten killed while the tram stands against the heavy and collected before it moves, or a sentence that motes falling on the step are collected. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-9 — The new panels still do not say which position selects which intake, or what flashes (Campaign b92234 §3.1, §3.2) |
| - | |
| - | Unchanged text at b92234. The contract r3 sharpens the question by adding "a moving beacon where a district adds one (the Tram Incline's lamp)" to what is a beacon: if the lamp is on the signal line it flashes and has an intake wherever the tram stands; if not, it is a lure and the yard intake and beacon keep the dispatch — and "Panel found Off. Forecast: first surge at 3:00, intake yard" needs the second reading and a meaning for Off that is not the pumping district's ("no pulse; the surge enters at the sluice"). In §3.1 the ground names no intake and the bargeman's outline needs its order (the surge in at the quay, then the switch to Weir; on Weir at the dispatch the surge enters at the top of the flight, beside the door). **Category:** missing design detail, in the contract's core. **Minimal change:** per new district, the pumping district's three-row table — position → powered branch → intake selected → beacon that flashes — and one sentence making the tram's lamp a lure only. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-13 — The contract and the Campaign adopted a Heavy wording its author has withdrawn and PM rejected (contract 59f895 §10; Campaign b92234 §3.2) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** contract §10, R8's disposition: hit counts permitted "and a resistance stated as 'cannot be cleared by the cutter in useful time'". Campaign §3.2's diff: "Heavies: an enemy role that blocks rails and doorways, cannot be cleared by the cutter in useful time… (Combat's wording)"; the 3:30 beat: "The surveyor kills it from the step in the seconds the cutter needs" — r1 had "ten hits in five seconds". PMR005 3: "replacing a number with vagueness is rejected… Keep an explicit provisional hit count". Combat r4: "the request to replace the Heavy's hit count with a phrase is withdrawn"; Enemies r5: "PM declines it, and is right that a number is inspectable where a phrase is not". |
| - | - **Why it fails:** the contract records as adopted a wording nobody now proposes, and the scene it governs lost its only number where the number carries the beat — "the stop cost the lead" with the crowd "twenty metres behind" is a timing claim that "the seconds the cutter needs" cannot support or refute. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (stale adoption); one missing number. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** restore "ten hits, about five seconds" in the §10 row, the diff table and the beat; Enemies owns the number. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-10b — One notebook sentence (Campaign b92234 §3.1) |
| - | |
| - | "the panel cannot light [the door] without lighting the road, but the coil can": the weir beacon's circuit "energises the Head", so a discharge into the Head lights the weir beacon for its two seconds, as the coil route lights B2 in the pumping district. No crowd moves; the sentence is the §1 error PMR002 caught at REV102. One sentence. |
| - | |
| - | ### Minor |
| - | |
| - | - Contract §9 and World r22 say the Collector's wheels stop "without the harvest that drives its gates"; the Collector r4 §2 has the gates hand-worked ("none is powered") and the powered thing a return lift, and reconciles both pages on that distinction. The contract's and the world page's word should be *lift*, or the Collector's reconciliation reads against them. |
| - | - Campaign §7's Collector and Head-works rows say "PMR004 3 corrections pending"; they were delivered at r3/r4 and PMR006 accepts them. §8 still gives PMR004's reasons for the unaccepted duration; Districts r3–r4 §5 replaced that estimate with the baseline path PMR006 records. |
| - | - The owner page ("set it slower, and you pay in every district at once") and §10.6 ("Stop, Keep, or slower") against the Head-works r3–r4 (Slow merged into Keep; Stop / Keep / Leave) — PMR006 5, confirmed at b92234. |
| - | - §3.1, 5:00: with the current gone after two seconds, the lock house door shuts behind the surveyor; the 7:00 exit uses the crank World r22 grants every hatch — one clause, so the scene does not read as a door left open. |
| - | - Contract note 2 and note 3 (above): pickup by contact; loose dry cargo does not conduct. |
| - | |
| - | ## PMR006's five blockers — what this role read, not re-adjudicated |
| - | |
| - | 1. *Coil window.* Inventory r2 and the Coil page now countersign: "Lead ruled two seconds of Coil water power, eight seconds of stun; this revision follows that ruling and withdraws Equipment's eight-second power proposal." Combat r4 §6 still: "8 s — Equipment's number, adopted; this page's earlier 1 s and 1–2 s are both withdrawn" — the source it adopted has moved under it, so the remaining holdout is one table. |
| - | 2. *Spark.* Not re-read beyond PMR006's quotation. |
| - | 3. *Switched-state persistence.* Colony r2 §1: "Named world commitments follow their authored commit points, not a blanket reset or blanket persistence rule" — softened, not yet the contract's rule. |
| - | 4. *Stop at the refuge.* Colony r2: "I proceed on immediate loss of powered colony services with manual basic refuge access, pending World/Campaign/Lead reconciliation", and it rejects World r21's salvage-fed pump reserve, which World r22 has already demoted to "a proposal for Colony". The direction is agreed; the cadence is not. REV104-12 sits underneath this: the refuge's board after Stop shows either dark positions or empty flashes. |
| - | 5. *"Slower".* Confirmed at b92234 (minor, above). |
| - | |
| - | ## Criteria — where the package stands |
| - | |
| - | Per district, the pre-registered six: the Lock Flight and the Tram Incline pass on paper with REV104-8/-9 as the gaps (and -13 for the Tram); the Tidal Barrier passes five and fails its loadout contrast as written (REV104-6); the Collector r4 and the Head-works r4 pass on paper, with REV104-12 the Head-works' one rule error; the Exchange is an outline whose one tool is two items (REV104-11). The whole: the contract first ✓ (r3, with -11, -12 and -13 to fix inside it); map, travel and returns ✓ (Districts r4 §3–§4); early, middle, late as choices ✓ (Build Paths, adopted in Campaign §4); colony without upkeep ✓ (Colony r2; free return; no reserve tax); mystery thread ✓ (World r22); finale as a local outcome ✓; coverage and assets honest, with PMR006's three/six/eight count under D025; hypotheses labelled ✓; hours: none on the Campaign page, a beat list on Districts r4 (34 expeditions, 8.2 hours of designed content, overhead separate), recorded by PMR006 as a hypothesis — the form this role asked for. Against criteria 1–11: met in structure across the package; 10 (honesty) is where the three new findings live, since each is a contradiction between pages that describe themselves as reconciled; none is met in substance until REV104-6, -8, -9, -11, -12 and -13 close, and none establishes enjoyment, balance or feasibility. |
| - | |
| - | ## Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
| - | |
| - | Whether the Stop cascade is legible at one district per expedition; whether the priority list reads as list-keeping (the page's own hypothesis); whether a moving beacon reads at crowd density; the bank's standing cost; eight hours of designed content as a length. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV104 r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r2) · [REV103 r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r1) and earlier on the REV103 archive · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status at b92234 / 59f895 / da3639 | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13; REV103-1 to -9 | REV101–REV103 | Resolved, closed, or delivered | |
| - | | REV104-1, -3, -4 — dispatch condition, empty flash, power source | REV104 r1 | **Closed at contract r3 and World r22** (-4 provisional under D024) | |
| - | | REV104-2; REV104-5 | REV104 r1 | Closed | |
| - | | **REV104-6** — the Tidal Barrier's harvest collected from a minute away | REV104 r2 | **Open — load-bearing** (lead: one beat) | |
| - | | REV104-7 — D023 in the contract and the Campaign | REV104 r2 | **Closed at b92234 and 59f895**; ledgers re-tallied and closing | |
| - | | **REV104-8** — the first battery: pursuit and collection | REV104 r2 | **Open** (lead; a range value) | |
| - | | **REV104-9** — the new panels: intake and flash | REV104 r2 | **Open** (lead: two tables; the tram's lamp a lure) | |
| - | | REV104-10 — two precedence sentences | REV104 r2 | (a) **closed at b92234**; (b) **open** | |
| - | | **REV104-11** — the cable reel: two items under one name | REV104 r3 | **Open** (lead: clause 1 adopts U6) | |
| - | | **REV104-12** — Stop's effect on dispatch, three ways | REV104 r3 | **Open** (lead: one sentence in §9; the Head-works' row follows) | |
| - | | **REV104-13** — the Heavy's withdrawn wording adopted | REV104 r3 | **Open** (lead: restore the number) | |
| - | | Contract notes 2, 3; minor items | REV104 r2–r3 | Open (lead; one clause each) | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV104 r3 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV104 on the exact package Tasks b72189 names. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV104 r3 (this page); r2 moved to the REV104 archive verbatim. **Correction recorded:** r2 reviewed 9d3590 after b92234 existed; its verdict is superseded, not inherited. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Campaign b92234 in full, diffed against 9d3590, three ledgers re-tallied on eight cells under E3; Power and Attraction 59f895 in full, diffed against 69024c; World da3639 diffed against 9aab5e; Districts c58832 §9; Colony 12694e; the Collector 75c09e and the Head-works 706ce6 for the Stop reconciliation; Combat 91a866, Enemies 9a72af, Inventory 9b0547, Equipment ae4543 and the Coil page for the Heavy, the reel and the coil window; PMR006 a28870. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. D022–D025 taken as PM's provisional baseline. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the quoted sentences and the three tallies. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Verdict:** revise — REV104-6 (one beat), REV104-12 (one sentence in the contract's §9, then the Head-works' row), REV104-11 (clause 1 adopts the item owner's definition), REV104-8 (a range and three beats), REV104-9 (two tables and one sentence), REV104-13 (a number restored), REV104-10b and the minor items. The five most consequential are -6, -12, -11, -8 and -9. No whole-campaign acceptance is offered; the section critiques of r1 and r2 stand as contributions; PMR006's five blockers stand beside these. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** REV104-12 — two pages PMR006 accepted disagree on the campaign's final readable state, and the Collector r4's reconciliation was written against the contract's sentence rather than the world page's; fixing the contract first avoids a second round on three pages. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead — REV104-6, -8, -9, -10b, -11, -12, -13 and the minor items on the next Campaign and contract revisions; Campaign designer — the Head-works' Stop row after the contract's sentence; Combat — the coil window table; PM — nothing new. I review the resulting revisions when they exist and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** none. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | ## REV104 r2 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV104 r3) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV104 · r2 · 2026-09-06 18:55 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — review of **DES104 r1, the Campaign page at 9d3590**, and PMR004's decisions D022–D024, against criteria 1–11 and the REV104 criteria pre-registered at REV103 r5: the shared-rule contract first, then per district the Expansion Brief's six, with per-beat ledgers on every written expedition and a shared-rule diff per district. The contract r2 (69024c) is checked against the Design Document r14/r15 and World r20 as the lead asked; REV104-1 to -5 are verified at the revisions that answer them (World r21 9aab5e; contract 69024c); the four staffed designers' pages are read for conflicts with the contract, not re-reviewed after PMR004 and PMR005. REV104 r1 is on the new [REV104 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104); REV103 r5–r1 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV104 r1 80a882 · REV103 r5 205bfb · r4 711ef4 · … · REV101 r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Campaign — DES104 r1** | 9d3590 (34dc09 plus CAM101's adoption note) | 17:11 | Read in full. §3's three written expeditions re-tallied beat by beat under the contract's rules; each district's shared-rule diff checked against clauses 1–6 | |
| - | | PM Reviews — PMR004 | e8c3d4 and its sub-page | 17:54 | D022–D024; §1–§4; this role's assignment: "Review actual 9d3590/current identified successor and PMR004 decisions against criteria 1–11; verify corrections only at actual revisions" | |
| - | | PMR005 | d15967 | 18:33 | Combat reconciliation; "additional evidence, not an independent acceptance". Read; nothing in it re-reviewed | |
| - | | **Mechanics / Power and Attraction r2** | 69024c | 16:58 | Checked clause by clause against Design Document r14 ec1b6c §1, §3–§5 (r15 5f9fbb leaves those sections unchanged) and World r20's "What stays fixed everywhere" | |
| - | | **World and Mystery r21** | 9aab5e | 18:31 | D024 developed; diffed against r20 7699de. REV104-1, -3, -4, -5 verified here | |
| - | | Design Document r15 | 5f9fbb | 16:58 | §11's mirror of World r18 verified (REV103-9 closed on both pages); scope note | |
| - | | Districts r3; The Collector r3; The Head-works r3; Pumping District | 699c8e; 29ece6; 999d84; 63d451 | 18:30–18:35 | CAM101 after PMR004. Read for shared-rule diffs and for conflicts with the Campaign page | |
| - | | Enemies r3; Combat r2 | 0822dd; 1126c3 | 18:26 | CMB101. Read for contract conflicts; PMR005's dispositions not repeated | |
| - | | Equipment; Inventory and Charge | a44990; 73eb77 | 17:12–17:13 | EQP101. E1 (eight cells) and E3 (selected priority) read as the rules D023 adopts | |
| - | | Colony | a1046d | 17:03 | COL101. Read against the no-upkeep baseline | |
| - | | Brief; Tasks; Expansion Brief; Team | 70b6b1; 469c70; 8e517e; 26bb6f | 17:40–18:36 | Canonical. D022–D024 recorded; REV104 Ready; four designers staffed by submission | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — **revise: one ledger, one integration pass, two tables of missing detail, two sentences** |
| - | |
| - | The Campaign page does what the pre-registered criteria asked, in the order they asked it: the contract is stated first, and the three deep districts are written as diffs against it, each with two loadouts that differ in what they do, an enemy combination with a precedence question a single role cannot pose, a six-part discovery chain with its redundant form named in another district, consequences stated as rules, an asset table that claims nothing, and a charge ledger. Two of the three ledgers close to the unit under the rules as written, and the tram crew's alternation (5 / 0 → 8 / 7) applies the collection rule that REV103-2 spent four revisions on, correctly. §8 refuses an hours figure and says what would earn one. That is the standard this role asked for, met on paper by two districts. |
| - | |
| - | What fails: the Tidal Barrier's ledger collects a harvest that fades a minute away from the surveyor, and with it the district's stated lesson (REV104-6); PMR004's D023 has since replaced the rack size and the collection rule that every loadout, both closing ledgers and §4's charge argument are computed on, and neither the Campaign page nor the contract yet reflects it (REV104-7); the first battery in each written expedition is filled by a beat the pursuit and collection rules do not support (REV104-8); the two new panels never say which position selects which intake or which beacon flashes, which is the one thing the contract says a panel does (REV104-9); and two sentences contradict the precedence (REV104-10). None is a rule change; all are within the lead's own method. REV104-1 to -5 are answered at World r21 and contract 69024c, with the contract's mirrors pending. Whole-campaign acceptance is not offered and was not asked for; r1's section critique stands as a contribution, as PMR004 records it. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV104 r1 items, verified at the revisions that answer them |
| - | |
| - | | Item | Where answered | Quoted | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **REV104-1** — what a local dispatch requires | World r21 9aab5e, "W1, extended for the campaign" (D024) | "a district's beacon flashes, and its intake is chosen, when its local drum turns **and** the trunk permits that district: the drum supplies the timing, the trunk supplies the permission, and either alone makes nothing" | **Resolved on the world page.** Contract clause 3 still carries the placeholder ("this contract will carry the sentence the world designer adopts"): mirror pending, lead | |
| - | | **REV104-2** — the Collector's meters against clause 4 | Contract 69024c clause 4 | "charge never leaves a district with the player; what a district's own machines meter or move is that district's design" | **Resolved**; not reopened. Collector r3 §4 builds on it correctly: "Charge is earned here and spent here. Nothing carries it out" | |
| - | | **REV104-3** — the empty flash | World r21, "The empty dispatch" | "the beacon flashes, the thin cable pulses, and nothing arrives… within the arrival window the forecast's intake marker hollows out, and the notebook records 'an empty dispatch'" | **Resolved on the world page.** Collector r3 §3 states the same W1 clause as its one requested contract change; the two pages agree. Contract mirror pending | |
| - | | **REV104-4** — what powers the district's circuit | World r21, the six-state table, under D024; Head-works r3 §2 | "Fixed power — source: the cell bank at the Head-works, filled by the Collector's wheels; connection: the thick power trunk to the district's own circuit"; the Head-works names the dry break ("every powered line in this district stops at the gallery") and the feed | **Resolved provisionally** (PM's D024; not owner-approved). Contract clause 2's "not stated on any page" is now stale: mirror pending | |
| - | | **REV104-5** — the routing bank priced by rule; "dark" means the Shut regime | World r21, "The routing bank's price"; Campaign §3.4 | "costs the forecast in the districts it leaves unpermitted (Campaign §3.4), and a district left dark long enough falls to the Shut regime on the next visit; it is a lever with a standing cost, not a free plan" | **Resolved as a rule.** Balance empirical, as the page says | |
| - | | r1 minor — the head-works' clue in one district only | Head-works r3 §6 | proposes the Lock Flight's greased levers as the second form, "for the World designer to accept or replace" | Open until the world page adopts a second form; the essential-clue table at r21 still has both forms of "the network is maintained" in the Head-works | |
| - | | REV103-9 — §11 mirror | Design Document r15 5f9fbb §11 | mirrors World r18's two-waters paragraph and the weir clause | **Closed on both pages** | |
| - | |
| - | One consequence of r21 to record for the contract: "Flowing water conducts like any water… The race is unenergised because it is an unfed body." Clause 2's "the race above the weir, which carries no charge" stays true; the reason should read *unfed*, not *flowing*, as Head-works r3 §2 already has it. |
| - | |
| - | ## The contract r2 against the Design Document and the world page — the lead's request |
| - | |
| - | Checked clause by clause against Design Document r14 ec1b6c §1, §3, §4 and §5 (r15 leaves them unchanged) and World r20's "What stays fixed everywhere, and what a district may add". **It agrees with both, clause for clause**, and §9's list of what the seed lacked is filled as stated. Four things to carry or correct, none a rule change: |
| - | |
| - | 1. **The leak rate is missing.** Clause 1 says a bundle touching a battery leaks, "shown as one drip per bundle"; the Design Document's "one unit a minute per connected bundle" is the number every ledger's expired column depends on (expedition one loses four units to it). Inventory 73eb77's baseline table carries it; the contract should. |
| - | 2. **How a mote is collected is missing.** Clause 4 says where a collected mote goes; the Design Document says how: "walking over one adds its charge". REV104-8 turns on it, and D023's "pickup" (Inventory E3, E5) is the same mechanic under a new priority rule. One clause. |
| - | 3. **What conducts when dry.** Clause 1 gives water and wet bundles; clause 2 "the water or line it stands on". Campaign §3.2's rail diff says "a channel need not be water, and the contract says so from here on" — it does not yet; and §3.1 says crane parts "are dry metal and do not conduct" while the rail is "a metal channel… a dry conductor". One sentence settles both: lines (cables, rails) conduct; a dry bed, loose cargo and equipment housings do not. |
| - | 4. **Two pointers and two mirrors.** Clause 1: locks are in Campaign §3.1, not "section 7 of the Campaign page". Clauses 2 and 3: REV104-4 and REV104-1/-3 are answered at World r21 and should be carried, as clause 3 promised. |
| - | |
| - | Noted, not raised: clause 8's "enemy variants by size and tint" against Campaign §4's "not by tint alone" — PMR005 6 disposes of it as a clarification, and this role agrees the two sentences can both be true. |
| - | |
| - | ## The three written expeditions, re-tallied |
| - | |
| - | Method as pre-registered: for every beat, slots and contents; links and leaks by adjacency; battery units; which beacons are lit and by what; each crowd's nearest reachable lit beacon; door states; the clock. |
| - | |
| - | **3.1 The Lock Flight, lockkeeper (six slots).** `C C B / S S I`, link B→C: the battery touches the coil and the insulation; the bundles touch the coil's housing, each other and the insulation — no leak, as stated. 3:30, ten kills → 10 / 10 stored. 5:00, the discharge needs a full linked battery ✓, spends ten; the head basin is energised for seconds and the door, a device on the Head's line, opens ✓; nothing in the water, nothing sheds ✓. 5:30, rack full, one bundle dropped for one part: `C C B / S P I`, six of six ✓. 7:20, the flow rule: floaters yield to flow while it flows ✓; the Middle joins the Tail while L1 is open and the Tail is on the quay circuit, so the Middle is energised for the flush — the surveyor is on the lever, not in the water ✓. 8:10, extracted six slots ✓. **Closes to the unit: dropped 10, collected 10, spent 10, expired 0.** One beat fails pursuit (REV104-8); two sentences fail the precedence (REV104-9, REV104-10). |
| - | |
| - | **3.2 The Tram Incline, tram crew (nine slots).** `C C B / A B I / S K S`, links top B→C, middle B→A: the top battery touches the coil and the insulation; the middle battery touches the arc, the coil, the insulation and the kit; no bundle touches either — no leak ✓; both links by adjacency ✓. 3:30, the heavy's large mote, five units → 5 / 0 (the tie by placement, asserted) ✓. 4:30, ten kills under most-room: 5 / 0 → 5 / 5 → 6 / 5 → 6 / 6 → 7 / 6 → 7 / 7 → 8 / 7 ✓; the page's own working is right. 5:30, lamp off, lever down: no lit beacon is reachable (the yard beacon is on the Gates circuit, dark under Rail; the summit has none) → spread ✓; the tram descends because the rail is still powered ✓. 6:00, two bundles → 9 / 9 ✓; they touch the arc's housing, the kit and the insulation — no leak ✓. 8:00, eighty enter a dark yard → spread ✓. 9:40, fifteen lost at the dock ✓. **Closes: dropped 15, collected 15, expired 15 at the dock.** What fails: the collection at 4:30 (REV104-8) and what the panel selects (REV104-9). Under D023 the ledger is superseded (REV104-7). |
| - | |
| - | **3.3 The Tidal Barrier, tidewatcher (nine slots).** `C C B / S I K / S S –`, link B→C: the battery touches the coil and the kit; no bundle touches it ✓. The header says "one empty slot, two empty bundle slots"; the drawing, the loadout text ("three bundles, and one empty slot") and the ledger ("four empty"; "+ bundles 3; one empty") all say three bundle slots — one cell to fix. 3:30, ten kills → 10 ✓ (the pursuit: REV104-8). **4:30 fails — REV104-6.** 6:00, the lever is powered by the tide ✓ by the district's own condition (the flats join the beacon's line only at high water; the level at which they join is asserted, not marked on the staff). 6:00, the floaters "spread on the mole" ✗ (REV104-10). 8:00, eighty join fifty at the lit flats beacon ✓. 9:00, panel to Mole: the flats beacon dies, the mole beacon lights, a hundred and thirty retarget to it ✓ — the ten floaters would too. 12:00, the third surge at the mole intake ✓ (the marker moved at 9:00). 13:30, "a full battery lost at the dock" ✗ — empty, under REV104-6. **Corrected ledger: dropped 35, collected 10, spent 10, expired 25 on the flats, 0 at the dock.** |
| - | |
| - | ## The findings |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-6 — The Tidal Barrier's harvest is collected from a minute away (§3.3, 4:30; load-bearing for the district) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §3.3, 4:30: "From the house's step in insulation the surveyor discharges: the fifty organisms standing in it are stunned; five large motes, twenty-five units; the battery, emptied by the discharge, takes ten and fifteen expire. Battery ten again." The ground: the crowd "hold[s] at the flats beacon, on the mole's landward end"; the surveyor is in the signal house at the mole's other end; "the crossing takes a minute". Contract clause 4: "Motes fade in seconds"; Design Document §4: "walking over one adds its charge". |
| - | - **Why it fails:** the large motes drop where the stunned stand, at the beacon, a minute's crossing from the step, and fade before anyone can reach them. Collected is 0, not 10; the battery is empty from 4:30 to extraction; the 13:30 row loses nothing at the dock; the totals are collected 10, expired 25. It is §13's harvest with the crowd moved out of reach. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the district's stated lesson, "the discharge buys charge, not passage", is false in the scene written to show it — the discharge buys eight seconds and nothing else — and the tidewatcher's coil is dead weight, which collapses the loadout contrast with the runner that is the district's second criterion. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (scene versus clause 4). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** one beat. At 4:30 the surveyor wades in insulation to the crowd's edge on the knee-deep flats, discharges there, collects along the edge during the eight seconds (the §13 pattern) and returns to the house, with the hits and the pursuit that costs stated; then 13:30's full battery is earned. Or drop the coil from the tidewatcher and give the district a second loadout that does something else. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-7 — D023 replaces the rack and the collection rule the Campaign page and the contract are computed on (integration; PM's decision, not an error in r1) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** PMR004 D023: "Use EQP101's eight-cell rack from the outset and shelter-selected pickup priority for the next integrated draft. Prefer this over six-to-nine capacity progression… Priority lets players deliberately ready an action instead of accidentally splitting charge." Inventory 73eb77 E1 (a fixed 2×4) and E3 ("This explicitly replaces most-room allocation"). Against it: contract clauses 4–5 (most-room; "six slots is the contract"; "about nineteen kill motes before its first discharge"); Campaign §3.1's loadouts and consequences ("the crane parts… let the workshop build the rack's third row, which is why this district is early"); §3.2's loadouts ("both assume the third row") and its 4:30 row; §3.3's loadouts (nine, with the runner drawn on six); §4 ("The rack grows once", the nineteen-motes paragraph, "the campaign's answer is heavies"); §5 ("The third rack row, from the Lock Flight's crane parts"); §7's Lock Flight consequence ("Rack row"); §10 decision 4. |
| - | - **Why it matters:** every rack on the page is drawn on six or nine cells and every ledger uses most-room. PMR004 §4: "New EQP rules require new examples, not reuse of the previous ledger's acceptance"; PMR005 3 already asks for the nineteen-motes rationale to be recalculated. Under a coil-first priority the tram crew's 4:30 row is not 8 / 7: the coil's battery is full five kills in, and the discharge the scene never makes becomes available — the scene changes, not only the arithmetic. And the Lock Flight loses both its refuge consequence and its stated reason for being early. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the pages disagree with PM's drafting baseline in the one place the criteria asked to be stated first, the contract. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction between a PM decision and the current pages (integration). D023 is reversible and not owner-approved; clause 5 rightly says the owner decides the rack, and should still say so. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** the contract's clauses 4–5 restated under D023 with E3's rule quoted (which priority, set where, what the preview shows); then the Campaign's six loadouts redrawn on 2×4 (Collector r3 §4 shows the notation) and the three ledgers re-run under the adopted rule; then one sentence giving the Lock Flight a refuge consequence that is not the third row (COL101's one-time refits are candidates) or the crane parts a new use. Order matters: the contract first, or the ledgers are run twice. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-8 — The first battery in each written expedition is filled by a beat the rules do not support (§3.1 3:30; §3.2 4:30; §3.3 3:30) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** §3.1: the crowd "hold[s] at the quay beacon, between the surveyor and home. The surveyor is at the top of L1… The ten walkers climb the stairs in pursuit." §3.3: the crowd holds "at the flats beacon, on the mole's landward end"; "Ten walkers wade to the house's steps in pursuit" — the crossing the page itself prices at a minute. §3.2: "The crowd's front reaches the tram's step on the slope, and the surveyor holds the step with the cutter for the last of the climb: ten kills, ten motes, collected as they fall" — while the tram climbs. |
| - | - **Why it fails:** contract clause 3, "pursuit is local and short"; Design Document §4, "any organism within a short range of the surveyor breaks off to chase and drifts back when out of range". A basin's length and a minute's crossing are not short; ten organisms leaving a held crowd to cross the district is attraction to the surveyor, which the contract does not have (Combat R1 proposes ordering pursuit above attraction for exactly this case and keeps the range short). On the tram, motes drop on the road at the step's position and the tram leaves them; collection is walking over; nothing is collected from a moving step. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the coil's first charge — the beat every district's "choice it improves" waits on — is granted rather than earned in all three scenes. Collector r3 §4 shows the honest version: "the player works the rim with the cutter while the first mass gathers… it is the district's opening five minutes". |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (scenes versus clauses 3 and 4), and one missing number. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** give pursuit range a value, or a landmark on each map (Combat asks the same); in §3.1 and §3.3 put the surveyor at the crowd's edge for the ten kills and price it in hits and time; in §3.2 kill the ten while the tram stands against the heavy and collect before it moves, or state that motes falling on the step are collected. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-9 — The new panels never say which position selects which intake, or which beacon flashes (§3.1, §3.2) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** contract clause 3: "Each surge enters at one intake, chosen by the district's signal line: the panel's position sets the relay's lever, and at the dispatch the chosen intake's beacon flashes." §3.2: the panel "(Rail, Gates, Off)"; "Panel found Off. Forecast: first surge at 3:00, intake yard; second at 8:00, intake yard"; at 1:00 Rail lights the tram's lamp and darkens the gates; at 3:00 "sixty walkers enter the flooded yard and walk to the nearest lit beacon, which is the tram". §3.1: the panel "(Quay, Weir, Off)"; the ground names two beacons and two docks and no intake; the bargeman: "with the panel thrown to Weir the door is live and the crowd climbs the road toward the weir; the bargeman goes up ahead of it". |
| - | - **Why it fails:** in the pumping district Off means no pulse and entry by the sluice; here Off shows a forecast with an intake. Rail powers the rail and the lamp — which signal line does it select, and what flashes at 3:00: the yard beacon, dark under Rail, or the tram's lamp, which would make the tram a dispatch beacon with an intake wherever it stands? Gates selects which intake? In §3.1, if the panel is on Weir at the dispatch the surge enters at the weir — the top of the flight, beside the door the bargeman wants — and the road is empty, not the crowd's; the outline needs its order (the surge in at the quay, then the switch) and the intakes drawn. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the district built on "a beacon that moves" does not say what the moving beacon is to the signal network; the district built on "move the crowd or the water" does not say where the crowd enters. |
| - | - **Category:** missing design detail, in the contract's own core. |
| - | - **Minimal change:** for each new district, the three-row table the pumping district has — position → powered branch → intake selected → beacon that flashes — and one sentence for the tram: a lure only, which never flashes, with the yard intake and beacon keeping the dispatch, which is the reading the 3:00 beat needs. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV104-10 — Two sentences against the precedence (§3.3 6:00; §3.1 notebook) |
| - | |
| - | - **6:00:** "those ten [floaters] spread on the mole". The flats beacon is lit and stands on the mole; clause 3: a crowd spreads "only if there is none [reachable]". They walk to it — floaters walk once the flow stops, per §3.1's 8:10 — unless floaters cannot move on stone, which the diff would then have to say. |
| - | - **§3.1's notebook:** "the panel cannot light [the door] without lighting the road, but the coil can". The weir beacon's circuit "energises the Head", so a discharge into the Head lights the weir beacon steady for those seconds, exactly as the coil route lights B2 in the pumping district ("'the yard stays dark' is never true of a coil route"). No crowd moves — the quay is lit and nearer — but the sentence is the §1 error PMR002 caught at REV102, and the bargeman's road depends on knowing it. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction (clauses 3 and 1). **Minimal change:** two sentences. |
| - | |
| - | ### Minor |
| - | |
| - | - §3.3's header slot count (above); the runner drawn on six cells in a nine-slot district (moot under D023). |
| - | - §3.1 uses P for the crane part; the Design Document's notation uses P for the beacon (the Campaign uses L). Say so, or change the letter. |
| - | - §6: "The critic's five findings on the thread (REV104-1 to -5) are the world designer's to close" — -2 and -4 were the lead's and the contract's, and all five are now answered as the table above records; replace the sentence with the status. |
| - | - §2.8 and §5, "The refuge as a played district", against D022 ("without a forced refuge-defence expedition"): the page already says "cut if it does not stay the same game", and D022 has provisionally cut the forced form. The next revision should say what remains — an optional home expedition, or none. |
| - | - §10.8 staffing is done (Team 26bb6f); the header's "not staffed" is stale. |
| - | - World r21 lets one clock into the colony — the dock pump's own reserve after Stop — guarded by "nothing is charged while the city's power stands". Consistent with the no-upkeep baseline because it follows the player's own act; it belongs, named, in §10.7's decision for the owner. |
| - | |
| - | ## What holds |
| - | |
| - | The diffs are the check this role pre-registered, and three districts pass it on paper: water moved, light moved, a clock the player cannot set; none makes a lamp draw, a coil select intake or an organism shed twice. The lockkeeper and bargeman, the tram crew and tow crew, the tidewatcher and runner differ in what they do, and the runner — no battery at all — is the first rack that treats charge as a thing not to carry. The discovery chains are the six-part rule applied, with the redundant forms placed in other districts (gauges ↔ timetable; gate log ↔ intake gauge), and the consequences are rules (L2 open joins the upper canal; the gates shut dry the flats for good and put the Collector a level lower — which World r21, Collector r3 and Head-works r3 now state in the same direction). §7 marks its sketches as sketches; §8 gives no hours; §9 labels its hypotheses; §10 prices its decisions. Two ledgers close, and the one that fails does so in a way the method finds. |
| - | |
| - | ## Criteria — where the campaign stands |
| - | |
| - | | Pre-registered check | Lock Flight | Tram Incline | Tidal Barrier | Exchange · Collector · Head-works | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | A distinct problem under the shared rules — a written expedition whose choices could not occur in the pumping district | Yes: water moved; the flush | Yes: light moved; the tow | Yes: two clocks | Outline · Collector r3 yes (a held mass; three ways-on) · Head-works r3 yes (which race, which way home) | |
| - | | Two loadouts that differ in what they do | Yes (current vs lure); the bargeman's order missing (REV104-9) | Yes (fight vs tow) | In intent; fails as written (REV104-6) | — · yes, on D023's cells · not yet | |
| - | | An enemy combination with a precedence question | Flow vs light ✓ | The heavy on the rail ✓ | One body of water: charge or passage ✓ in principle | Static/Carrier merge pending (PMR005) | |
| - | | A discovery chain with a redundant form elsewhere | Gauges ↔ timetable ✓ | ✓ | Gate log ↔ intake gauge ✓ | Head-works' second form proposed, not adopted | |
| - | | A consequence stated as a rule | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ | |
| - | | Asset categories and gaps, nothing claimed | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ | |
| - | | The shared-rule diff: adds, changes, signal, choice | ✓ (dry metal: contract note 3) | ✓ ("the contract says so": not yet, note 3) | ✓ | Collector's one requested W1 clause now on World r21 ✓ | |
| - | |
| - | **The whole.** A map with reasons to travel and to return ✓ (§2; Districts r3 §3–§4, with returns caused, not scheduled). Early, middle and late as choices rather than numbers ✓ (§4). A colony loop without upkeep ✓ (§5; COL101's one-time refits and free departure; World r21's after-Stop clock noted above). A mystery thread with the local one's fairness ✓ (WLD103 r21; the six-part rule applied in §3). The finale as a district outcome ✓ (§2.1; World r21). Coverage and asset burden ✓ (§7). Hypotheses labelled ✓ (§9). Hours: §8 refuses a figure; Districts r3 §5 withdraws its earlier estimate and gives a beat list to attack — 34 expeditions, 8.2 hours of designed content, with overhead, deaths and hauling excluded and printed separately — which is the form this role asked for, and which stays a hypothesis wherever the owner reads it (criterion 11). Against criteria 1–11: the campaign package meets 1–10 in structure across the Campaign page and its domain pages (9's cuts and cheap alternatives in §7 and §9; 10's contradictions presented for decision in §10), and 11 in form; none is met in substance until REV104-6 to -10 are closed, and none establishes enjoyment, balance or feasibility. |
| - | |
| - | ## The designers' pages — conflicts with the contract only |
| - | |
| - | - **Combat R1** (pursuit above attraction; role targets between them): the contract orders retarget-or-spread but not pursuit against attraction, and three of the Campaign's own scenes need the order (REV104-8). One line in clause 3, the lead's to rule. |
| - | - **The roster:** Campaign §4's four against CMB101's six, merging to eight — PMR004 §2 and PMR005 1 cover it. Districts r3 §10 places Combat's roles and names the floater as the Lock Flight's dependency; Enemies §0.1 adopts the floater "owned by Campaign". Consistent, once the Campaign page says so. |
| - | - **Collector r3:** on D023's cells, the first-discharge beat stated, charge spent locally on two named sinks, and its one requested contract clause now on World r21 — the only design page currently computed on PM's baseline. Its "held mass" row rightly claims no precedence change. |
| - | - **Head-works r3:** Slow merged into Keep; the water-level reversal corrected in the direction World r21 rules; the dry break and the feed named; its Stop row's "the way home always exists" matches r21's unpowered-return guarantee. |
| - | - **Equipment and Inventory:** E4's "no adjacency requirement" for links is consistent with the contract's silence — the Design Document drew every link adjacent and never required it; REV103's adjacency checks were of leaks, and stand. E3's example arithmetic (2 / 10 and 0 / 10, eleven pickups → 10 / 10 and 3 / 10) is right. |
| - | - **Colony:** no upkeep, one-time refits, free departure and return — inside the frame. "A legal six-slot equipment-only arrangement" predates D023; Equipment already caps issued cells at six of eight. |
| - | |
| - | ## Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
| - | |
| - | Whether a moving beacon reads at crowd density; the tide's clock against the forecast's; whether a short pursuit range makes the first battery too slow to earn; the bank's standing cost; whether eight hours of designed content is a length. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV104 r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r2) · [REV103 r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r1) and earlier on the REV103 archive · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13; REV103-1 to -9 | REV101–REV103 | Resolved, closed, or delivered (REV103-9's §11 mirror closed at DD r15) | |
| - | | REV104-1 — what a local dispatch requires | REV104 r1 | **Resolved at World r21** (D024); contract mirror pending | |
| - | | REV104-2 — the Collector's meters vs clause 4 | REV104 r1 | **Resolved at contract 69024c** | |
| - | | REV104-3 — the empty flash | REV104 r1 | **Resolved at World r21**; contract mirror pending | |
| - | | REV104-4 — the district circuit's power source | REV104 r1 | **Resolved provisionally at World r21 under D024**; contract clause 2 stale | |
| - | | REV104-5 — the routing bank priced; "dark" = Shut regime | REV104 r1 | **Resolved at World r21** | |
| - | | **REV104-6** — the Tidal Barrier's harvest collected from a minute away | REV104 r2 | **Open — load-bearing** (lead: one beat) | |
| - | | **REV104-7** — D023 vs the contract and the Campaign's racks and ledgers | REV104 r2 | **Open — integration** (lead: contract first, then loadouts and ledgers; the Lock Flight's consequence) | |
| - | | **REV104-8** — the first battery: pursuit and collection | REV104 r2 | **Open** (lead, with Combat's range) | |
| - | | **REV104-9** — the new panels: intake and flash | REV104 r2 | **Open** (lead: two tables) | |
| - | | **REV104-10** — two sentences against the precedence | REV104 r2 | **Open** (lead: two sentences) | |
| - | | Contract notes 1–4 — leak rate, collection, dry conductors, pointers and mirrors | REV104 r2 | Open (lead) | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV104 r2 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV104, the expanded campaign review PMR004 made Ready. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV104 r2 (this page); r1 moved to the new REV104 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Campaign 9d3590 in full, with per-beat ledgers on §3.1–§3.3; PMR004 and PMR005; contract 69024c against Design Document ec1b6c/5f9fbb §1, §3–§5 and World 7699de; World 9aab5e diffed against 7699de; Districts 699c8e, Collector 29ece6, Head-works 999d84, Pumping District 63d451, Enemies 0822dd, Combat 1126c3, Equipment a44990, Inventory 73eb77 and Colony a1046d for conflicts with the contract. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. D022–D024 are taken as PM's provisional drafting baseline, not as owner approval. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the quoted sentences and the three tallies above. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Verdict:** revise — REV104-6 (one beat), REV104-7 (the D023 pass, contract first), REV104-8 (a range and three beats), REV104-9 (two tables), REV104-10 (two sentences), and the four contract notes. r1's section critique stands as delivered; no whole-campaign acceptance is offered, and none follows by inference from the closures recorded above. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** REV104-7's order — if the ledgers are re-run before the contract is restated under D023, they are run twice; and the Lock Flight needs a reason to be early once the third row goes. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead — REV104-6 to -10 and the contract notes on the next Campaign and contract revisions; world designer — a second form for the head-works' clue in another district; Combat — the pursuit range as a number, for the contract; PM — nothing new. I review the resulting revisions when they exist and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** confirm that D023's rack and priority rule are the baseline the next Campaign revision is to be computed on, so the lead re-runs the ledgers once. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | ## REV104 r1 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV104 r2) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV104 · r1 · 2026-09-06 16:52 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — first critique under PMU004, of the first substantive DES104 section to arrive: **WLD103 r19–r20, the campaign mystery thread**, on World and Mystery r20. Tasks says REV104 may "critique available substantive sections as they arrive; no claimed future acceptance"; this does that and nothing more. **REV103 is closed below**: its four integration items are resolved on their owning pages, with one mirror pending. REV103 r5–r1 are on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV103 r5 205bfb · r4 711ef4 · … · REV101 r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | Brief D019–D021; Tasks; Team; Hub; PM Reviews — **PMU004 rollout** | 1bd68a; eb8c03; d00fad; 4ef1f3; 94e459 | 16:38–16:41 | Owner: larger campaign, many districts (D019). DES104, WLD103, EDT102 Ready; four designers proposed, unstaffed; **REV104** Blocked on DES104 with the section-by-section clause; "no micro-ledger review loop should block parallel campaign drafting" | |
| - | | **World and Mystery — WLD102 r18, WLD103 r19, r20** | d1d56a → 7699de | 16:37–16:41 | r18 closes REV103-9; r19 is the first WLD103 deliverable; r20 adds the evolving-hypotheses table | |
| - | | **Design Document — DES103 r8 (document r14)** | ec1b6c | 16:32 | Against REV103 r4 and World r17: §13 re-tallied under the collection rule; the weir clause lifted; the last stale sentence removed | |
| - | | Team / Expansion Prompts; Cutter; Equipment; Enemies; Colony | all 200 | | Created during PM's rollout, minutes after REV103 r5 checked them | |
| - | |
| - | ## REV103 — closed |
| - | |
| - | All four integration items are resolved on their owning pages; each correction was read, not inferred. |
| - | |
| - | | Item | Correction, quoted | Verified | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **REV103-2** (residual) — one unit at the discharge threshold | r14 §13: "Both batteries are empty, so by the collection rule the first mote goes to the earlier-placed battery, the coil's, and the second to the other… one in each"; "kills seventeen… the coil's battery from one to ten, the arc's from one to nine"; 7:50 "the arc's stays at nine"; 8:22 "the coil's battery takes ten and the arc's takes one to reach full; nineteen expire". Ledger: 1 / 1 → 10 / 9 → 10 / 9 → 10 / 10, expired 19 | **Resolved.** Re-tallied from the rule: identical to the numbers REV103 r3 derived | |
| - | | **REV103-7** (residual) — the weir clause | r14 §11 mirrors r17's two supplies with the weir ("weir" ×4) | **Resolved** | |
| - | | **REV103-8** (residual) — stale PM-report sentence | r14: the sentence is gone; Appendix B "no superseded live wording remains, this paragraph included" | **Resolved** | |
| - | | **REV103-9** — the relay's channel | World r18, "Two waters, stated once": "The relay's race is the sluice-head channel *above* the weir: flowing water, never energised… V3 joins the head pool to the channel *below* the weir, never to the race, so the valves cannot light the yard from the relay's side… Drain R empties the race: the wheel stops, the drum stops… the panel's power positions, the beacons, the hatches and GJ… keep working. This states one readable exception to clause 2, that the relay is a source and not a consumer." | **Resolved on the world page, geometrically** — the hydraulic reading REV103 r4 recommended, made true by where the weir is. **One mirror pending:** r14 §11's Understand row still reads "the relay is a device under the power clause, working only while its channel carries current"; §11 should lift r18's row and paragraph | |
| - | |
| - | **Three pointers in REV103 r5 retracted.** The Expansion Prompts page, and the Cutter, Equipment, Enemies and Colony pages, all exist; PM created them within minutes of that check, mid-rollout — the same error the editor made and withdrew, and the same lesson ("do not flag a gap in the middle of somebody's rollout"). Hub and Tasks now carry the expanded scope. Nothing remains of those three lines. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV104 r1 — the campaign mystery thread (WLD103 r19–r20), against the pre-registered criteria |
| - | |
| - | **Verdict on this section: it meets the mystery criteria in structure and is the right template for the campaign; five sentences are needed before Campaign builds districts on it, one of them load-bearing.** This is a critique of a contribution, not of DES104, which does not yet exist. |
| - | |
| - | ### What works, and why |
| - | |
| - | - **The campaign question grows out of the answered local one.** The finale's answer — a drum turned by flowing water — leaves one observable the player has already seen: after opening R, "the thin cable that enters the relay room from outside the district still pulses on the old cadence." That is a campaign clue that costs nothing new and reframes shut/fix/hold as local outcomes, exactly as the Expansion Brief asks. Evidence changes a later action: the door to the campaign is a stopped drum that still hears time. |
| - | - **The six-part per-district rule is the false-refuge chain generalised**, and it carries this role's watchlist by construction: a local question with a fair chain and no item gates; one campaign clue as an inspectable stable object; what travels is a fact and a convention, never an item; one later action enabled; **redundancy — every campaign clue in two districts** — as the answer for missed clues; a consequence stated as a rule. "Or the district is a key hunt" is the right test. |
| - | - **The fixed contract and the may-add list** are the shared-rule contract the mechanics page demands, written by the person who owns the rules it protects: W1–W4 with precedence and the beacon definition, the light convention, the two cables, the flowing-water relay, S1–S3 fixed; new devices, topology, signal sources and beacon variants allowed with a readable signal; "may not change what power, signal or a beacon means, or make an ordinary lamp draw the Flood." |
| - | - **The evolving-hypotheses table** makes fairness checkable stage by stage — each wrong belief a reasonable reading, each overturned by something seen — and gives the early-stop answer at campaign scale. |
| - | - **Two candidate answers with their content costs**, held for the owner, and an honest risk list (the routing bank may dominate; the collector brushes clause 4; Answer B adds a presence). No new machine family is claimed. |
| - | |
| - | ### The findings |
| - | |
| - | **REV104-1 — What a local dispatch requires is stated three incompatible ways (load-bearing).** |
| - | - *Where:* World r18: "the relay is the district's one source of signal, a drum turned by the race"; the drum's contact "makes the pulse". WLD103: after R is opened "the drum stops, local dispatches stop, and the thin cable that enters the relay room from outside… still pulses" (dispatch needs the drum); the Exchange's routing bank: "a district whose position is dark gets no announced surge until the player returns" (dispatch needs the trunk pulse); "the district relays are one network, kept in time from somewhere upstream" (the trunk keeps time). The hypotheses table's fifth row overturns "each district's relay is its own clock" — yet r18 says the pumping district's relay *is* its own clock, turned by its own race. |
| - | - *Why it fails:* the three behaviours are jointly consistent only if a local dispatch needs *both* the local drum's contact *and* a live trunk pulse — and that makes the trunk a second source, which r18's "one source" denies. As written, a reader cannot tell what the exchange's bank does to a district whose drum still turns. |
| - | - *Consequence:* the campaign's central lever and its first clue both rest on this sentence. |
| - | - *Category:* contradiction (r18 versus r19), within the contract the page itself declares fixed. |
| - | - *Minimal change:* one sentence in the fixed contract: "A district dispatches when its drum's contact closes *and* the trunk is carrying time; the drum makes the moment, the trunk permits it. Shut stops the drum; a dark bank position withholds the trunk; either alone stops announced surges." Then the fifth hypothesis row reads "each relay keeps its own time" → "each relay is permitted by upstream". |
| - | |
| - | **REV104-2 — The Collector's meters against clause 4 (the page's own flag).** "Charge never leaves the district" (clause 4) versus "this district's meters read what the player's rack reads: charge" taken from the mass "as it passes". The page asks the lead to resolve it as "never leaves *with the player*" or drop it. Agree; the rewording is one clause of clause 4 and belongs in the contract before any collector is designed. *Category:* contract conflict, self-reported. |
| - | |
| - | **REV104-3 — A delayed first surge against W1.** "Closing a district's collector gate delays that district's first surge on the next visit." W1 says the beacon on the selected line flashes at dispatch "and the surge enters there." If the collector is empty, the drum still ticks and the beacon flashes with nothing behind it — which W1 currently forbids and which would otherwise be a fine clue ("the flash came; nothing came with it"). *Minimal change:* one clause in W1 — "a surge enters there if the collector supplies one" — and a line in the light convention for the empty flash. *Category:* missing design detail. |
| - | |
| - | **REV104-4 — The contract never says what powers the district's circuit.** The panel switches "the district's one live circuit"; the coil injects; the relay is now hydraulic; but the source of the fixed power that lights beacons and opens hatches is unstated anywhere in the Design Document or on this page. Answer A supplies one — the city runs on harvested Flood charge, so shutting the head-works "turns off every powered door and pump in the city, including the colony's" — Answer B leaves it open. Either way the contract should state the source, or name it as part of the campaign question; a campaign about power cannot leave the grid unexplained. *Category:* missing design detail (contract completeness). |
| - | |
| - | **REV104-5 — The routing bank is Finding 2 at campaign scale; price it by rule, and say what "dark" means.** The bank chooses "which district receives the next trunk pulse"; a dark district "gets no announced surge until the player returns". The page rightly flags dominance. Two sentences settle it: (a) a dark position puts a district into the Shut regime the endings table already defines — unannounced trickles that grow, a dark forecast — so "no announced surge" is never read as "no surge"; (b) the bank's price, stated as a rule before Campaign builds on it, as the panel's five-part price was: the pumping district's panel is free because lighting a branch opens its door *and* invites the surge there; the bank needs the same coupling (what does choosing a district *give* the player there, that makes withholding it a cost?). *Category:* missing design detail; future empirical uncertainty for the magnitude. |
| - | |
| - | ### Minor |
| - | |
| - | - Rule 5 (every campaign clue in two districts) is met for the exchange and the collector; the head-works' clue ("who oiled this?") is named only there. Its redundant form should be stated. |
| - | - The Shut regime's "trickles" and the collector's "cycled, not spawned" are the first statements of where surges come from; the contract should carry one sentence on it, since three districts now depend on it. |
| - | |
| - | ### Recorded for later empirical validation — not defects |
| - | |
| - | The bank's dominance once priced; the collector-gate cost; the cadence readability across districts; whether Answer B's presence changes the enemy identity the owner wants. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV103 r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r1) · [r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r4-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r5) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r4) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r2) · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13; REV103-1 to -8 | REV101–REV103 | Resolved, closed, or delivered | |
| - | | REV103-9 — the relay's channel | REV103 r4 | **Resolved at World r18**; §11 mirror pending | |
| - | | **REV104-1** — what a local dispatch requires: drum, trunk, or both | REV104 r1 | **Open — load-bearing** (World, in the fixed contract) | |
| - | | **REV104-2** — collector meters vs clause 4 | REV104 r1 (page's own flag) | **Open** (Lead: one clause) | |
| - | | **REV104-3** — delayed surge vs W1's "the surge enters there" | REV104 r1 | **Open** (World: one clause) | |
| - | | **REV104-4** — the district circuit's power source | REV104 r1 | **Open** (Lead/World: state it or name it as the question) | |
| - | | **REV104-5** — the routing bank: "dark" = Shut regime; priced by rule | REV104 r1 | **Open** (World now; Campaign when staffed) | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV104 r1 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV104 (first critique of an available substantive section, per Tasks); REV103 closed. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV104 r1 (this page); REV103 r5 moved to the REV103 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** World and Mystery 7699de in full (r18–r20 diffed against r17); Design Document ec1b6c diffed against 50046f, §13 re-tallied; PMU004's Brief, Tasks, Team, Hub and PM Reviews changes. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. Three of its own r5 pointers retracted as mid-rollout errors. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the quoted corrections; the tally; the quoted WLD103 sentences read against r18 and W1. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** REV104-1 is the sentence the campaign's lever and first clue both rest on; it should be fixed before any district is designed around the exchange. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** world designer — REV104-1, -3, -5 in the fixed contract; lead — REV104-2 (clause 4) and -4, and §11's mirror of r18; PM — nothing new. I critique the next substantive DES104 section as it arrives and post nothing between sections except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** none. |
| hold the flood/design review/archive/rev105.md .. /dev/null | |
| @@ 1,283 0,0 @@ | |
| - | # Hold the Flood — Design Review / Archive / REV105 |
| - | |
| - | *Looking for one finding? Every one is summarised in a line on the [Findings index](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Findings).* |
| - | |
| - | Superseded revisions of the REV105 review, retained verbatim. The current review is on [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review); REV104 r6–r1 on the [REV104 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104); REV103 r5–r1 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive). Sections: [REV105 r3](#rev105-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev106-r1) · [REV105 r2](#rev105-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r3) · [REV105 r1](#rev105-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r2). |
| - | |
| - | ## REV105 r3 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV106 r1) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV105 · r3 · 2026-09-07 08:50 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — verification of **DES105 r3, the Campaign page at r8 (0cafb9, 08:31 UTC)**, against PMR008 §1 and REV105 r2's three clauses; PMR008's qualifications of r2 accepted, two of them corrections of this page's own arithmetic, recorded first below. **The situation changed under PMU008:** the owner rejected PM's pitch deck as barely understandable, created **The Visionary** with authority to change or remove mechanics that do not serve one identity, and the Visionary has published a Game vision on the Brief (0fff74). PM's priority is now the vision, and this role's next assignment (Tasks 1c38ca) is to review the vision submission when it exists — "does the described play deliver the stated identity, and what is its strongest contradiction?" — which is not pre-empted here. REV105 r2–r1 are on the [REV105 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105); REV104 r6–r1 on the [REV104 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104); REV103 r5–r1 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV105 r2 42ad46 · r1 35cccf · REV104 r6 ce94e4 · … · REV101 r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC (9-07) | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Campaign — DES105 r3 (page r8)** | 0cafb9 | 08:31 | Diffed against de4893; §3.2's later return re-tallied on both plans with the clock; the changed return's two corrected clauses; §3.4's new scoping; the section written for the Visionary; §2's decision-test passage | |
| - | | **PMR008** | 37fd94 | 08:17 | §1 on the Tram and this review; §2 dispositions; §3 scope; the handoff | |
| - | | **Brief — Game vision; PMU008** | 0fff74 | 08:05 | The Visionary's working direction and decision test; PM's priority | |
| - | | Team; Tasks | 890a96; 1c38ca | 08:04; 08:22 | The Visionary's mandate; the PMU008 table (this role's next assignment); the PMR008 rows | |
| - | | Districts r12; Enemies r10; Combat r9 | c4d604; fd38a8; 283e6e | 08:19–08:21 | The vision's test applied by their owners; headers and the passages named; not re-reviewed | |
| - | | External Critique | 114d49 | 07:49 | X32 and X34 withdrawn; X35 | |
| - | | The Exchange | 4d6703 | unchanged | REV104-17's four cells and the two-dispatch question | |
| - | |
| - | ## Corrections to REV105 r2, from PMR008 §1 |
| - | |
| - | - **The lure's clock.** r2 wrote of the later return: "9:00 planted and armed: 8 units = eighty seconds ✓… expires on the dock road ✓." Armed at 9:00, eighty seconds runs to 10:20; the extraction was at 9:40. The page's claim could not be true and this review repeated it — the same error r6 found in the Exchange's first expedition, made by adding units without adding the clock. Withdrawn. |
| - | - **The Siphon's benefit.** r2 quoted the page's own alternative — "the heavy's five units alone buy fifty lit seconds: enough for the plant, the crank and the crossing" — and did not draw the conclusion: a twenty-five-second crossing is covered by the heavy's fuel, so the Siphon's three units were thirty seconds of margin, not the discovery the later return was built to show. PMR008 drew it. Accepted. |
| - | - **"Four cells free"** for three one-cell items, missed. Accepted. |
| - | - **The criterion.** REV105-1's repair asked that the later return's contingency become the main line, and the lead made it one by having the surveyor wait four and a half minutes at the summit. PMR008 is right that a compulsory wait is not a worthwhile experience and that "an easier return earned through understanding can be a payoff"; the question the assignment asked was whether the later visit offers a worthwhile decision, not whether it defeats the first solution. r3 answers that question. |
| - | - **The footer.** The Findings index (78d09e) now lists only archived rounds; this page's pointer is scoped to match. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV105 r2's three clauses, and PMR008 §1, against 0cafb9 |
| - | |
| - | | Item | Quoted at 0cafb9 | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | Clause 1 — the apron at expiry | The stay: "had the expedition run on, it would have expired at about 9:55, and the bodies on the apron would then retarget to the lit summit lamp and climb, because a crowd whose beacon dies goes to the nearest reachable lit one and spreads only if there is none" | **Closed** | |
| - | | Clause 2 — "before the second dispatch" | "Extraction at 8:10, as the second dispatch pours in at the intake end, forty metres behind powered gates" | **Closed** | |
| - | | Clause 3 — "not an option" | "The tram is available at a price, ten hits at the rail before any surge, which is what the later return pays; path B walks instead, because with the lamp off the tram tows nothing this plan wants, and the four cells are for the coil and the Exchange's door"; 4:30: "the tram is left blocked, because clearing it would cost ten hits in front of a recovering crowd for a lamp the plan has no use for" | **Closed** | |
| - | | PMR008 — the wait | The later return: "The network's cadence is already in the notebook from the Exchange's drums, so nothing on this trip needs to be waited for"; 3:30: "The board is glanced at, not waited for"; 5:30: extraction "one bundle banked, the heavy's five units lost at the dock, no hits taken; the beacon, its battery and the Siphon carried home unused" | **Closed.** The quick plan is the main line; the stay is "the alternative, priced" | |
| - | | PMR008 — the Siphon | "On the quick plan it is not needed. On the stay… thirty seconds of margin against the wait at the crank, bought with the bundle that would have been banked, the Siphon itself and the Kit's offer forgone… That is optional margin, not a necessity and not the discovery that changes this route" | **Closed**, honestly | |
| - | | PMR008 — activation, expiry, committed charge | "The beacon is armed at 9:05 and still lit at extraction [9:40]; had the expedition run on, it would have expired at about 9:55"; the stay's ledger: "9:05 … 5 or 8, committed to the lure"; "9:40 … the beacon still lit, about half its charge burned, the rest lost with it" | **Closed.** 9:05 + 50 s = 9:55 ✓; 35 s burned at 9:40 ✓ | |
| - | | PMR008 — five cells | "five cells free" | **Closed** | |
| - | | X35 — the owner page's count | "Scope: the Districts page's current ledger, quoted in section 8 with its caveats, a hypothesis and not a measurement" | **Closed**; no count on the owner page to go stale | |
| - | | PMR008 — the Exchange's cadence and terminals, scoped by the lead | §3.4: "The Exchange's expedition is ten minutes with two dispatches, at 3:00 and 8:00; a scene that needs a third dispatch or a twelfth minute is not this district's"; terminals: "one at the foot of the gallery stair at the dock end, live while the hall's run is powered, and one on the bank's own lamp line at the head end, dead, six metres apart where the floor narrows" | Scoped; **two cells wrong**, below | |
| - | |
| - | **The later return's ledgers, re-tallied with the clock.** *Quick plan:* 0:00 the heavy, 5 dropped, 5 collected, 5 stored; 3:30 the bundle into a free cell (three items, one bundle, four empty ✓); 5:00 the crank outside any ring; 5:30 extraction, 5 lost at the dock, the bundle banked. **Closes.** *The stay:* 8:00 the second surge climbs toward the lit tram; 9:00 the foot; 9:05 planted and armed, 5 units (or 8 with the margin) committed; the crossing 25 s inside 50 (or 80); 9:40 extraction with the beacon lit and about half its charge burned, the rest left with it; expiry at 9:55 (or 10:25) after the surveyor has gone, the apron's bodies then climbing to the summit lamp. **Closes**, and the arithmetic now includes the clock. |
| - | |
| - | ## Two cells in §3.4 |
| - | |
| - | 1. **The Exchange's cadence.** §3.4: dispatches "at 3:00 and 8:00". The Exchange r3 §2: "dispatches at about 3:00 and 7:00, with the evacuation window from 10:00", and its §7 scene is built on 7:00. One number, either page; the Exchange's is the one with a scene on it. |
| - | 2. **The terminals.** §3.4 places one "at the foot of the gallery stair at the dock end" and one "on the bank's own lamp line at the head end… six metres apart where the floor narrows." The dock end and the head end are the length of the floor apart — the walk that is the district's whole price (Exchange §1, §6) — so two terminals six metres apart cannot be one at each end. Either both stand where the floor narrows, or they are the ends and the reel (six metres, U6) cannot join them. One sentence, and it decides whether the reel has anything to do in the hall. |
| - | |
| - | ## The four questions, at r3 |
| - | |
| - | 1. **Can the later visit be played by repeating the first solution?** Yes, and the page now says that is the point: "the return that understanding makes easy… the player who knows supply is withheld has an empty yard to work in, and that is the payoff of the Collector's lesson." Under the vision's own test — name the choice, its visible consequence, the part of the experience it serves — the later return's worthwhile decision is not the crossing; it is the standing state: leave the tram lit at the summit so that later surges climb away from the dock road, at the cost of "the depot gates dark for every later visit, because the lamp at the summit needs Rail." That choice has a visible consequence on the next visit's board and serves the refuge half of the experience. The trust-or-stay choice is thinner: on the written path the player has read the Exchange's drums, so the stay has no reason for them; it is a real alternative for a player who has not, and the page should say the decision that carries this visit is the standing state, with the stay as the alternative for the less-informed player rather than as a peer choice. |
| - | 2. **Are alternate builds real choices under the written rules?** Yes, as at r2, and cleaner: the changed return's ride is "available at a price" and declined for a stated reason; the later return's Siphon is margin and is called margin. |
| - | 3. **Does evidence change action before the finale?** Yes, and now in both directions: the held gate buys the empty yard, and the drums already read remove the wait — understanding twice makes the trip easier, which is what tension one on the lead's new section names as the design's question for the Visionary. |
| - | 4. **Does colony investment matter?** As at r2: capability, not yet risk. Unchanged and not a defect of this sequence. |
| - | |
| - | ## What this role reads as the situation, and what it will do next |
| - | |
| - | The lead's new section "For the Visionary" states the experience in plain words and three tensions — mastery against renewal, precision against plain speech, the refuge at stake without a tax — each with links to scenes; tension one is the honest form of the disagreement REV105-1 started. Districts r12 §2.0 withdraws the lever ladder as the reason for the count and re-runs the seven districts against the vision's test in plain language; Enemies r10 §0A runs the roster against the cut condition and names the Heavy as the role nearest the line. Those are the domain owners doing what PMU008 asks, and they are not reviewed here. This role's next review is of the Visionary's submission — one expedition as a player experiences it and a keep/change/remove assessment — when it exists, against the question Tasks sets: does the described play deliver the stated identity, and what is its strongest contradiction. Until then, the Tram sequence at 0cafb9 has two cells left in §3.4 and nothing else from this role. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV105 r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105#rev105-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105#rev105-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r2) · [REV104 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r1) and earlier on the REV104 archive · [REV103 r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r1) and earlier on the REV103 archive · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
| - | |
| - | **Every finding raised in an archived round, one line each, is on the [Findings index](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Findings); the current round's findings arrive there when it is archived.** |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13; REV103-1 to -9; REV104-1 to -10, -12 to -16, -18 | REV101–REV104 | Resolved, closed, or delivered | |
| - | | REV104-11 — the cable reel | REV104 r3 | Closed on the contract; the Exchange's terminals now placed by the lead in §3.4, with one contradiction (cell 2 above) | |
| - | | REV104-17 — the cacher's expedition | REV104 r6 | Closed in substance at 4d6703; four cells open (issue count, the bundle, the relink, two distances) — PMR008 §2 retains them | |
| - | | REV105-1, -2, -3 | REV105 r1 | **Closed at de4893 and 0cafb9**; the three clauses closed at 0cafb9 | |
| - | | Two cells in §3.4 (the Exchange's cadence; the terminals' distance) | REV105 r3 | **Open** (lead, with the Campaign designer; one number, one sentence) | |
| - | | The later return's carrying decision named as the standing state | REV105 r3 | Open (lead; one sentence) | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV105 r3 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV105, verification of DES105 r3 against PMR008 §1 and r2's clauses; PMR008's qualifications of r2 accepted. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV105 r3 (this page); r2 moved to the REV105 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Campaign 0cafb9 diffed against de4893, the later return's two plans re-tallied with the clock; PMR008 37fd94; Brief 0fff74 (the Game vision; PMU008); Team 890a96; Tasks 1c38ca; External Critique 114d49 (X35); Districts c4d604, Enemies fd38a8 and Combat 283e6e headers and named passages. All heads re-checked at save time. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. Two arithmetic errors and one missed cell in r2 withdrawn; the assignment's criterion restated as PMR008 states it. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the quoted sentences and the tallies. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Verdict:** on the Tram sequence — the three clauses and PMR008 §1's items are closed at 0cafb9; two cells remain in §3.4 and one sentence naming the later return's carrying decision. On the whole — not this role's to give under PMU008; the vision review is the next assignment and waits for the Visionary's submission. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** the vision pass may change what the Tram sequence is for; closures recorded here are of the text as it stands and carry no claim that the text should survive that pass. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead — the two §3.4 cells and the one sentence; Campaign designer — REV104-17's four cells, retained by PMR008; Visionary — the expedition and the keep/change/remove assessment, which this role then reviews; PM — nothing new. I post nothing before that submission or a successor revision of the pages above, except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** none. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | ## REV105 r2 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV105 r3) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV105 · r2 · 2026-09-07 07:45 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — verification of **DES105 r2, the Campaign page at r7 (de4893, 07:32 UTC)**, which answers REV105 r1 and the External Critic's X34, together with **World r26 (744b21), Districts r11 (c1bbe1), Colony r6 (59ad65) and Combat r8 (221c48)**, all published since r1. Every closure is quoted from the revision that makes it, and the three rewritten visits were re-tallied beat by beat. REV105 r1 is on the new [REV105 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105); REV104 r6–r1 on the [REV104 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104); REV103 r5–r1 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV105 r1 35cccf · REV104 r6 ce94e4 · … · REV101 r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC (9-07) | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Campaign — DES105 r2 (page r7)** | de4893 | 07:32 | Diffed against ee4202 in full; §3.2's three visits re-tallied; §2, §8 and the owner page's figures checked against Districts r11 | |
| - | | **World r26 — WLD104** | 744b21 | 06:51 | Diffed against e99445: the chain re-ordered onto the route; the grounded-run cell; the held gate's bound; D026 | |
| - | | **Districts r11 — CAM103** | c1bbe1 | 07:18 | §5.1, the revisit test, and the baseline cut to 34 expeditions | |
| - | | Colony r6 — COL102 r2; Combat r8 | 59ad65; 221c48 | 07:16; 07:21 | D026 applied; X32 answered on the composition budget; R11 settled | |
| - | | Tasks; External Critique | cb7928; 211efe | 07:21; 06:50 | Combat's second pass; X34 | |
| - | | The Exchange; Power and Attraction | 4d6703; 5322f4 | unchanged | REV104-17's four cells and the §3.4 pointer remain with the Campaign designer | |
| - | |
| - | ## Verdict — **revise: three clauses; the sequence otherwise closes and answers the four questions** |
| - | |
| - | DES105 r2 does what r1 asked, in the form asked. The later return's problem is now the written path: the surveyor must stay at the summit for two ticks to copy the cadence, the second surge climbs toward the lit tram while they descend, and the crossing at the foot is bought with the light a bundle and the Siphon paid for — "one the first visit's solution cannot solve", with the fifty-second and no-beacon alternatives priced (REV105-1 closed). The same heavy stands on the rail on both later visits and the later return kills it at 0:00 for its five units (REV105-2 closed). The stairs run in a cutting ten metres below the road, and every beat inside pursuit range carries a hit or a time (REV105-3 closed). The Siphon is `Q`, the record was made at the quay dock, approach A's free cells are called what they are, and the lamp is lit before boarding. Three ledgers close. World r26 fixes the grounded-run cell, re-orders WLD104's chain onto the route the sequence takes and states the held gate's bound — "a one-surge buffer, which buys the ride up and not the trip" — which is the sentence question 3 needed. Districts r11 applies REV105-1's test to its own baseline and cuts a required return. |
| - | |
| - | What remains is three clauses, none a rule change: the apron's bodies "spread" at the lure's expiry when the summit's lamp is lit and reachable, so they retarget to it, which is what the page's next sentence already has them do; the changed return's extraction at 8:10 is "before the second dispatch" on a district whose second dispatch is at 8:00; and the changed return says the tram "is not an option" when the later return shows its price. Once those are fixed this role has no further finding on the Tram sequence; that is a statement of what remains, not an acceptance, which is PM's. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV105 r1 items against de4893, quoted |
| - | |
| - | | Item | At de4893 | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **REV105-1** — the later return is the first visit unopposed | Objective: "copy the network's cadence from the summit board, which shows it only across two ticks, and leave the tram at the summit with its lamp lit… The first tick will be an empty flash; the second brings a surge, and the surveyor will still be at the summit when it does. That is the visit's problem, and it is one the first visit never had: coming down past a surge with no coil." 8:00: "eighty walkers enter the yard… the tram's lamp at the summit is the only lit beacon they can reach, so they turn onto the incline road and climb toward it." 9:00: "plants the beacon on the loading apron and arms it, five seconds… The crank, ten seconds; the road to the gates and through them, ten more; the beacon burns its eight units, eighty seconds." Alternatives: "the heavy's five units alone buy fifty lit seconds"; "Without a beacon at all, the surveyor waits on the stairs until the crowd's tail has passed up the road… the third dispatch at 12:00 is the clock it runs against. The first visit's solution, ride up lit and crank down through a spread crowd, is not available here: this crowd is not spread, it is entering and turning, and the crank sits in its path." | **Closed.** One clause residual (below) | |
| - | | **REV105-2** — the heavy on the rail, or beside it | Ground: "Heavies gather where the tram was left, and a heavy on the rail stays on the rail until something kills it." Changed return: "a heavy now stands on the rail in front of it… the tram is not an option on this visit." Later return, 0:00: "The surveyor kills the heavy on the rail in ten hits, about five seconds, and walks over its large mote: five units into the battery, the visit's first charge and the tram's clearance." Approach C: "clears the heavy from the rail in the five seconds the cutter needs… neither can ride past the heavy without paying for it" | **Closed.** One clause residual (below) | |
| - | | **REV105-3** — beats inside pursuit range | Ground: "The stairs run in a cutting on the rail's far side, ten metres below the road and out of pursuit range of it except at the two ends." First visit 7:00: "At the foot the stairs come up beside the road's end, inside pursuit range of the spread crowd's near edge: one hit taken passing it"; 8:20: "The crowd's ring, drawn on the overlay, has spread twenty metres from the intake end and stands twenty metres short of the gates; the surveyor cranks the gate open in ten seconds outside it"; 8:40: "four health of five, the foot's hit still showing." Changed return 4:08: "the recovering edge chases for the first ten metres and lands one hit before the surveyor is out of range. The walk through knee-deep water to the panel takes the rest of the minute"; 7:30: "their ring reaches the gates: the crank would be worked inside it. The surveyor throws the panel to Gates instead: the yard beacon lights, the fifty retarget to it and walk back toward the intake end, and the gates open on their own power; the nearest bodies pass within range as they turn, one hit"; 8:10: "four hits taken" | **Closed.** Hits tally: 2 + 1 + 1 = 4 ✓; first visit 3, kit, 1 → four of five ✓ | |
| - | | Minor — `S`; the lock house; A's cells; the lamp | "In the racks, `Q` is the Siphon and `S` a salvage bundle"; "recorded at the Lock Flight's quay dock, a shelter"; "this district holds one bundle, so on this visit A's real advantage is the kit and empty hands, not room"; later return 0:30: "The lamp is lit from here, so the standing state is set at the depot and carried up" | **Closed** | |
| - | |
| - | **The later return's ledger, re-tallied.** 0:00 the heavy: dropped 5, collected 5, stored 5 ✓ (the battery, first and only on the list). 3:30 the Siphon: +3 by conversion → 8 ✓ (U5, once; two cells freed). 9:00 planted and armed: 8 units = eighty seconds ✓ against five to arm, ten to crank, ten to cross, the rest spare ✓; expires on the dock road ✓. 9:40 nothing carried, no charge ✓. **Closes: dropped 5, collected 8, spent 8 on the lure, lost 0.** The alternatives' arithmetic: 5 units = fifty seconds ✓; no beacon = the wait, against 12:00 ✓. |
| - | |
| - | ## Three clauses |
| - | |
| - | 1. **9:00, the apron at expiry:** "the beacon… expires when the surveyor is on the dock road, and the bodies on the apron spread from it." At that moment the tram's lamp at the summit is lit and reachable by the road; a crowd whose beacon goes dark "retarget[s] to the nearest reachable lit beacon if there is one, and spreads only if there is none" (contract §3; R12 governs only the case with none). They climb, which is what the page's next sentence has them do ("Above, the surge holds at the lit tram at the summit"). One clause. |
| - | 2. **Changed return, 8:10:** "Extraction at 8:10, before the second dispatch." The district's dispatches are at 3:00 and 8:00 (the first visit's forecast; the changed return names only the first). At 8:10 the second surge has been entering for ten seconds at the intake end, forty metres behind the surveyor and on the far side of powered gates. The extraction is safe as written and the clause is wrong; say "as the second dispatch pours in at the intake end". |
| - | 3. **Changed return, the tram:** "the coil cannot stun a dry rail, so the tram is not an option on this visit." It is an option at the price the later return pays — ten hits at 0:00, before any surge — and approach C pays it in the same paragraph. B walks for a reason the page can state (the lamp off, the tram tows nothing; the four cells are for the Exchange's door), not for want of an option. One clause; it matters because question 1's answer for the changed return rests on it. |
| - | |
| - | Not a clause, recorded: the later return's 0:00 kill of the heavy carries no hit, and the page prices hits everywhere else; a single slow body against a retreating cutter is plausible, and "none taken" should be said rather than left out. |
| - | |
| - | ## The four questions, at r2 |
| - | |
| - | 1. **Can the later visit be played by repeating the first solution?** *No, as now written.* The later return's problem — descending past an entering surge that is climbing toward the lit tram, with no coil and the crank in the crowd's path — is not one the first visit posed, and the page shows the first solution failing it in one sentence. The changed return could still be ridden at a price (clause 3), and that is a choice, not a repeat. |
| - | 2. **Are alternate builds real choices under the written rules?** *Yes.* Three legal starts at the changed return, priced and countersigned; two priced alternatives at the later return (fifty seconds, or the wait against 12:00); and the ride available on both later visits for ten hits. The first visit's choice is a kit against nothing, which the page now says. |
| - | 3. **Does evidence change action before the finale?** *Yes, and the action's bound is stated.* The held gate is explanation 2's machine operation; World r26 and the Campaign both carry that "a one-surge buffer… buys the ride up and not the trip", and the trip's problem follows from it rather than being removed by it. |
| - | 4. **Does colony investment matter?** *As capability, yes; as risk, not yet.* Paths A and B still decide what the player can rely on and the board shows which; no visit yet shows the other path's absence costing something. That is the next question for the depth pass, not a defect in this sequence. |
| - | |
| - | ## Other pages, verified |
| - | |
| - | | Page | Quoted | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | World r26 — the grounded-run cell (PMR007 §3) | fixed-power row, what survives exit: "panel positions persist as left; a grounded run recovers between expeditions with the mass (contract §6)" | **Closed** | |
| - | | World r26 — WLD104 re-ordered | "the chain is re-ordered onto the route the player actually takes, the Lock Flight, then the Tram's three visits with the Exchange and the Collector between them as DES105 places them… the held gate's action carries its bound (a one-surge buffer buys the ride up, not the trip: REV105 §3)… D026 is mirrored and this page's bank-permission upgrade withdrawn" | Consistent with DES105 r2 | |
| - | | Districts r11 — the revisit test | "A revisit earns a place on the baseline path only if it has at least one of: a state the player changes… a problem the earlier visit could not pose… an objective that requires being there"; "One of the two required returns fails the test and is cut"; baseline 34 expeditions / 487 minutes | The test is the one REV105-1 applied; the cut is consistent with it. The figure is a hypothesis, as its owner and PM say | |
| - | | Campaign r7 §8 and the owner page (X34) | "about eight hours of authored beats on the baseline path, expedition time only; ten to eleven hours… with the unmeasured dock overhead… about thirteen hours for everything designed, with overhead. Deaths, retries and hauling are excluded from every row" | One figure, quoted from its owner; the caveats carried | |
| - | | Colony r6 — D026 | "signal comparison joins the repaired base receiver, leaving one assembly to compete between workshop tooling and one supported berth" | Mirrors contract r7 §10 | |
| - | | Combat r8 — X32; R11 | §7 engages within-district depth where the cap is set; R11 settled on Combat as the contract assigns | Noted; no interface conflict | |
| - | | REV104-17's four cells; REV104-11's pointer | the Exchange unchanged at 4d6703; Campaign §3.4 unchanged | Open, Campaign designer | |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV105 r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105#rev105-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r2) · [REV104 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r1) and earlier on the REV104 archive · [REV103 r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r1) and earlier on the REV103 archive · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
| - | |
| - | **Every finding ever raised, one line each, is on the [Findings index](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Findings) — 59 of them, with a link to each full text.** |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13; REV103-1 to -9; REV104-1 to -10, -12 to -16, -18 | REV101–REV104 | Resolved, closed, or delivered | |
| - | | REV104-11 — the cable reel | REV104 r3 | Closed on the contract; one pointer open (Campaign §3.4 ↔ the Exchange) | |
| - | | REV104-17 — the cacher's expedition | REV104 r6 | Closed in substance at 4d6703; four cells open (issue count, the bundle, the relink, two distances) | |
| - | | PMR007 §3 — Combat's copies; World's grounded-run row | PMR007 | **Both closed** (e3ad2b; 744b21) | |
| - | | REV105-1 — the later return | REV105 r1 | **Closed at de4893**; clause 1 residual | |
| - | | REV105-2 — the heavy | REV105 r1 | **Closed at de4893**; clause 3 residual | |
| - | | REV105-3 — beats inside pursuit range | REV105 r1 | **Closed at de4893** | |
| - | | Three clauses (the apron at expiry; "before the second dispatch"; "not an option") | REV105 r2 | **Open** (lead; one clause each) | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV105 r2 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV105, verification of DES105 r2. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV105 r2 (this page); r1 moved to the new REV105 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Campaign de4893 diffed against ee4202, §3.2 re-tallied (three ledgers, the hits); World 744b21 diffed against e99445; Districts c1bbe1 §5 and §5.1; Colony 59ad65 and Combat 221c48 headers and the D026/R11 passages; Tasks cb7928; External Critique 211efe (X34). All heads re-checked at save time. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the quoted sentences and the tallies. No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Verdict:** revise — three clauses. REV105-1, -2 and -3 are closed at de4893; the four questions are answered as above; World r26 closes the last PMR007 §3 item; REV104-17's four cells and the §3.4 pointer wait on the Exchange's next revision. No whole-campaign or whole-sequence acceptance is offered. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** none new in the sequence; the cutting, the apron and the crossing budget are the lead's placements for the Campaign designer to confirm on the ground, as the lead says. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead — the three clauses on DES105 r3; Campaign designer — REV104-17's cells and the pointer; PM — the acceptance gate is PM's; the REV105 row can now name de4893. I review the resulting revisions when they exist and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** none. |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | ## REV105 r1 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV105 r2) |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV105 · r1 · 2026-09-07 06:55 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — first review under the assignment Tasks 575001 states: "Judge the exact integrated sequence against exploration, experimentation, mystery and survivorlike combat. Can the later visit be played by repeating the first solution? Are alternate builds real choices under the written rules? Does evidence change action before the finale? Does colony investment matter? Report the strongest failure and smallest useful repair; do not claim empirical enjoyment or balance." The integrated sequence exists: **DES105 r1, on the Campaign page at r6 (ee4202, 06:33 UTC)**, §3.2, the Tram Incline across a first visit, a changed return and a later return, with three ledgers, built on **EQP102 (Build Paths 6bc3f7), COL102 (Colony fe7d88), WLD104 (World r25 e99445), CMB102 (Combat r7 e3ad2b §12) and the contract r7 (5322f4)**. Every beat was re-tallied with the method the campaign's districts are held to. **REV104's status at the same revisions is carried below**: PMR007's qualification of r6 is accepted and its named copies verified; the Exchange r3 closes REV104-16 and -18 and most of -17. REV104 r6–r1 are on the [REV104 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104); REV103 r5–r1 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV104 r6 ce94e4 · r5 4508fd · … · REV101 r1 7ad187). |
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| - | ## What was reviewed |
| - | |
| - | | Artifact | Revision | UTC (9-07) | Note | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | **Campaign — DES105 r1 (page r6)** | ee4202 | 06:33 | §3.2 read in full and diffed against 9366c8; three ledgers re-tallied; the panel table, the diff, the two colony paths and the alternatives checked against the contract r7 | |
| - | | **Build Paths — EQP102** | 6bc3f7 | 05:56 | Approaches A, B, C; the Siphon discovery; the issue rules; the addressed handoffs | |
| - | | **Colony — COL102** | fe7d88 | 05:34 | Paths A and B across the three returns; "is one assembly enough"; the departure-option table | |
| - | | **World — WLD104 (r25)** | e99445 | 05:50 | The three-explanation chain; the safe tests; the actions; the comparative reader | |
| - | | **Combat r7 — CMB102 §12; R11–R13** | e3ad2b | 06:23 | The three approaches countersigned; the four live copies PMR007 named | |
| - | | **Power and Attraction r7** | 5322f4 | 06:33 | R12, R13 adopted; the Exchange's found bank state ratified; D026 | |
| - | | **The Exchange r3** | 4d6703 | 06:22 | Diffed against 5bc625 in full; the new expedition table re-tallied; REV104-16/17/18 checked | |
| - | | PMR007; Tasks; Brief | 6fb181; 575001; 0cba02 | 06:12–06:24 | The verdict, §1–§6, the REV104 → REV105 row; D026 | |
| - | | Districts r9; Collector r5; Enemies r9; Equipment r4 | e9c413; 8e39d2; 56cadb; 59fcc5 (a later 0efeb4 at 06:39 not read) | 05:57–06:23 | §3.4 (the route is a recommendation); the winch as a ratchet; headers | |
| - | |
| - | ## REV104 — status at these revisions |
| - | |
| - | PMR007 accepted REV104 r6 "as a substantive independent review of the expanded package, not a whole-game approval" and qualified its "blanket closure of crossed copies": r6 closed REV104-15 on Combat's header and §0.5 without checking §6, and the qualification was right. Verified now: |
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| - | | Item | Where | Quoted / checked | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | PMR007 §3 — Combat's four live copies | Combat r7 e3ad2b | Header: "Four live-copy defects cleared — the paragraph after §0.2 that still called fixed-powered water unresolved…, §6's Stunned row still admitting a Spark death, its charge paragraph still using most-room collection…, and the R3 paragraph still calling C2 open." §0.4: "C2 … Closed: yes, ruled against this page"; §6 Stunned: "One paid event, and only one: a coil discharge… neither does a Spark's death"; no "most room" remains outside the revision log | **Closed at e3ad2b** | |
| - | | PMR007 §3 — World's grounded-run row | World r25 e99445 | Fixed-power row, what survives exit: "Yes: panel positions and grounded runs persist as left" — contract §6: "A Grounder's run therefore recovers between expeditions with the rest of the mass" | **Open** (World; one cell) | |
| - | | **REV104-16** — the flash at the intake | Exchange r3 §2 | "the Exchange has one way in, so it has an intake marker at the landing, and that is what flashes. The three beacons are lures and never intake selectors" — the table's fourth column reads "The landing's intake marker" in every row | **Closed** | |
| - | | **REV104-18** — the bank's starting state | Exchange r3 §6; contract r7 §10 | "The found state: three clutches engaged, on Pumping, Lock Flight and Tram Incline… The seized fourth position stays as it was"; the contract ratifies it; the seized-on-Pumping candidate declined with its reason (darkening Pumping later is kept) | **Closed** | |
| - | | **REV104-17** — the cacher's expedition | Exchange r3 §4, §7 | Rack `C C B L / B I K S`, two rows of four, no bundle touching a battery ✓; both batteries empty at 0:00 ✓; charge earned by cutting (8, then 6) ✓; one full bank "buys either one coil discharge or a hundred lit seconds… never both" ✓; the lure planted at 4:30 and dead at 6:20 ✓; at 6:20 "b1 is still lit and is right beside them, so the crowd stays… Nothing moves" ✓; at 9:00 "the planted beacon died at 6:20, so no reachable lit beacon exists and the crowd spreads" ✓; retrieval into the two cells planting freed ✓; the ledger closes: earned 14, spent 10, lost 4 at the dock ✓ | **Closed in substance; four cells remain**, below | |
| - | | REV104-11 residual — Campaign §3.4's pointer | Exchange r3 §11 | The reel corrected to U6, kept out of both loadouts by choice; §3.4's "as the Exchange page places them" still points at terminals the page does not place | Open (one clause, either page) | |
| - | | PMR007 §5 — the Collector's winch | Collector r5 8e39d2 §4 | "The screen lifts through five notches, and a pawl holds whatever notch it has reached. A coil discharge… drives the winch two notches and no more; the pawl then holds them. The remaining notches are hand-cranked" | Closed, consistent with the two-second window | |
| - | | Contract r7 — R12, R13 | 5322f4 §3 | Spread "from where the crowd stands… for a crowd a lure moved it is the place the lure died, never a teleport back"; "holding attaches to the beacon and not to the ground" | Consistent with the scenes both rules were written for; no district changes what a beacon means | |
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| - | **REV104-17's four cells.** (1) *Issue.* The cacher issues coil (2), two batteries, the beacon, insulation and the kit — seven cells — against "capped at six issued cells" (contract §5; COL-I2); drop the kit, which the dry hand carries, or the second battery. (2) *The bundle.* `S` sits in the rack at 0:00 and no beat picks one up; bundles are never issued. (3) *The relink.* At 4:30 "the player links B1 to the beacon": links change only at shelters (§5); b1 is at the dock end and the dock is the shelter — say the player steps into it. (4) *Distances.* The lure is planted "twenty metres up the floor from b1" and "two Carriers in the crowd take it" — a Carrier's acquisition range is twelve metres (contract §3; Carrier r3), so the plant point must be within twelve of the crowd's edge; and at 7:00 "the landing's marker flashes beside them and the surge enters there" while the surge "sets off south — away from the player" — pursuit is ten metres, so the bank must stand farther than that from the landing, and the page should say so. Also for the lead: the Exchange r3 proposes "Two dispatches, not three… a ten-minute district" and asks the lead to confirm; contract §6 reads "Fifteen minutes; three dispatches", and whether those numbers are the frame or the pumping district's shape is a ruling the contract should make in one sentence. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV105 — DES105 r1 against the four questions |
| - | |
| - | ### The three ledgers, re-tallied |
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| - | **First visit (approach A).** `. . . K / . . . .`, the default battery declined (E5 allows it; one issued cell). 3:30: the heavy's mote fades, no battery ✓. 4:30: six kills fade ✓, three hits, the kit spent ✓ (five hits; two left; restored). 5:30: lamp off, lever down; the crowd spreads on the road where it stands (R12) ✓. 6:00: one bundle into a free cell ✓; the Siphon and the kit inspected, neither taken ✓. 8:00: eighty spread in a dark yard ✓. 8:20–8:40: the crank, ten seconds ✓; "one hit still showing" — a hit taken after the kit, not narrated. **Closes: dropped 11, collected 0, lost 11 to fade.** |
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| - | **Changed return (approach B, path B).** `. C C B / . . . I`, B→coil; four issued cells ✓ (tooling's Circuit set; the record made at a shelter — see minor). 3:30: ten kills at the crowd's edge in insulation, two hits ✓ 10. 4:00: discharge; 50 stunned; 25 dropped; two motes collected = 10; 15 fade ✓; "the yard's water was already energised by Gates, so the two seconds added no hazard" ✓ (contract §2). 4:10: Rail; the yard beacon dies; the lamp is off, so no lit beacon: spread ✓. 5:30: the Exchange's door; the Siphon taken and fitted at the summit shelter ✓; six cells used, two free ✓. 8:30: one bundle, the Siphon, ten lost at the dock ✓. **Closes: 35 / 20 / 10 / 15 fade / 10 dock.** The alternative (approach C, path A): the lure armed at the apron, then Rail; the crowd retargets to the only lit beacon ✓; the dark tram tows nothing ✓; a hundred seconds outlasts the boarding and the crowd spreads from the apron after (R12) ✓; extraction at the summit berth ✓ (one berth city-wide, the assembly on the berth, not tooling ✓). |
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| - | **Later return.** `. . S B / . . L .` — three issued cells ✓ (here `S` is the Siphon; everywhere else on the page `S` is a salvage bundle — see minor). 0:00: the heavy "beside the tram, not on the rail" (see REV105-2). 3:00: the empty flash — the Collector holds this district's first supply; the second dispatch is normal (Collector r3–r5 §6) ✓. 3:30: the bundle into the cell beside the Siphon, "touching it and not the battery" ✓; at the shelter the Siphon consumes the bundle and itself: 3 units ✓ (U5; "once"); two cells freed ✓. 6:00: extraction, 3 lost at the dock ✓. Contingency at 8:00: 3 units = 30 lit seconds = 5 + 20 + 5 ✓. **Closes: 3 by conversion; 3 at the dock, or 3 on the lure.** |
| - | |
| - | ### The four questions |
| - | |
| - | **1. Can the later visit be played by repeating the first solution?** *Yes — and more easily.* The first solution is: throw Rail, ride the lit tram up, read the board, crank the gate home. The later return is: throw nothing (Rail is as left), ride the tram up with "no crowd behind it, no heavy ahead: an empty ride", flip the lamp on at the top, crank the gate home. The opposition the first visit had — a surge following the lamp, a heavy on the rail — is removed by the player's own Collector hold (the first surge withheld) and by the heavy having stepped off the rail; the page's own summary says a trip "whose only purpose would be to watch the empty flash again is cut", and this trip's only *played* purpose is the standing state, a switch flipped at the summit. The new tool (a bundle burnt for thirty seconds of light) and the new choice (the Siphon over the kit) are exercised only in "the contingency, priced", which the written path avoids by leaving at 6:00, before the second dispatch. So the depth is real on paper and optional in play: the later return, as written, is the first visit unopposed with a contingency the player is not made to face. This is the strongest failure. **Smallest useful repair:** make the contingency the main line. The district can supply the reason without a new rule: copying the Head-works' cadence from the timetable takes the interval between dispatches (the board shows the network's cadence only across two ticks), so the surveyor is at the summit past 8:00; the second surge enters the yard while they descend; the thirty-second lure on the apron *is* the crossing, and "the Kit would have healed one mistake; the Siphon bought a way not to make it" becomes something the player did rather than something the page says they could have done. Then the later return cannot be played as the first visit, because the first visit never had to cross an entering surge at the foot of the stairs with no coil. |
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| - | **2. Are alternate builds real choices under the written rules?** *Yes, at the changed return; thin at the first visit.* A, B and C are legal issues (one, four and three cells against the six-cell cap; batteries empty), Combat has countersigned their grammar, and they buy different things at a stated price: A pays exposure and loses eleven units; B pays four cells and a wade into energised water for a stun and a refilled bank; C pays a bank and two planted items for a destination and a summit extraction. Nothing in the written rules makes one dominate: B's coil cannot touch the heavy on the dry rail, C's lure cannot outlast the ride and buys separation only, A cannot collect. Two qualifications. On the first visit A's stated advantage — seven free cells — is empty in this district, which holds one bundle; the choice there is a kit against nothing, which is the honest first-visit choice but not three. And the changed return's ride is "blocked by its heavy" only by a sentence the later return contradicts (REV105-2): if the heavy is beside the rail, the first solution is available on the changed return too, and B and C are preferences rather than answers to a changed problem. |
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| - | **3. Does evidence change action before the finale?** *Yes, once, and it changes the action in the wrong direction for the Tram.* WLD104's chain is weather → supplied → harvested, each with a wrong reading, a safe test, and an action; DES105 places the Tram's three visits under the three beliefs, and the order the sequence produces is legal under Districts r9's "the route is a recommendation": the timetable is read under weather (visit one), understood under harvested (visit three). The one evidence-driven action inside the sequence is the Collector's held gate — explanation 2's "machine operation", taken before the later return so that the Tram's first surge is withheld. That is evidence changing action before the finale, as asked. Its effect on the district is to remove the district's opposition, which is what makes question 1's answer "more easily". The repair for question 1 also answers this: if the later return must cross the *second* surge, the held gate buys the empty ride up and not the trip, which is what a one-surge buffer is (Collector §6). |
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| - | **4. Does colony investment matter?** *Yes, as written; neither path is shown failing.* Path B's tooling issues the four-cell record that makes the changed return's stun possible; path A's berth makes the summit an extraction, which is approach C's whole point; the assembly does one or the other, never both (COL102; contract §6), and the board shows which before launch. The choice is real and its price is stated (four bundles, never a hauling target). What the sequence does not yet show is a visit where the *other* path's absence costs something — B on the changed return never wants a second exit, and A on the alternative never wants a stun — so investment matters as capability and not yet as risk. That is a smaller gap than the first and can wait for the next district written this way. |
| - | |
| - | ### Findings |
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| - | **REV105-1 — The later return is the first visit unopposed; its new tool is contingent (Campaign ee4202 §3.2, "Later return").** As above. *Category:* the depth criterion (PMU007's own: "later expeditions remain worth taking"), not a rule contradiction; the ledger closes. *Consequence:* the sequence the owner is shown as "whether the game renews" renews on the page and not in play. *Minimal change:* the contingency made the main line, as above; one paragraph and one ledger row moved. |
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| - | **REV105-2 — The same standing heavy blocks the tram on one visit and not the next (§3.2, changed return 4:10; later return 0:00).** Changed return: "the tram, which stands blocked by its heavy; the heavy is not on the road and is left alone." Later return: "the heavy stands beside the tram, not on the rail; the surveyor boards from the far step and it cannot reach the moving car." Heavies "gather where the tram was left" and nothing moved this one. *Category:* contradiction. *Consequence:* it decides question 1 for the changed return — a heavy on the rail forbids the ride; a heavy beside it does not. *Minimal change:* one sentence: on the rail (then the later return kills it, ten hits, before boarding, and its five-unit mote is the later return's first charge — which also gives that visit a beat) or beside it (then the changed return could have ridden, and chose the stairs for the Siphon and the drums, which the page should say). |
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| - | **REV105-3 — Two beats inside pursuit range are unpriced (§3.2, first visit 7:00 and 8:20; changed return 4:00–4:10).** The descent "behind the spread crowd's edge on the road" walks the stairs beside a road along which sixty bodies are spread; the stairs, rail and road "climb side by side" and pursuit is ten metres — either the stairs are farther than that from the road, or the descent is chased and the hit "still showing" at 8:40 is where it was taken, and the page should say which. At 8:20 the surveyor cranks a dark gate for ten seconds at the edge of a yard eighty bodies have been spreading across since 8:00. On the changed return the surveyor discharges at the crowd's edge at 4:00, the stun ends at 4:08, and by 4:10 has walked to the panel and thrown Rail: the withdrawal from a recovering crowd's edge to the panel is inside pursuit range and takes longer than two seconds. *Category:* contradiction with clause 3's pursuit as the campaign now states it (ten metres; "priced in hits"), the same class the lead closed on the three deep districts at r3. *Minimal change:* a distance for the stairs, a beat for the crank (the crowd's ring drawn, the gate outside it or the hit taken), and a minute for the withdrawal. |
| - | |
| - | ### Minor |
| - | |
| - | - `S` is a salvage bundle in every rack on the page and the Siphon in the later return's; Build Paths writes "Siphon" in full. One letter. |
| - | - The changed return's four-cell record was "assembled and recorded at the Lock Flight's lock house"; §3.1 does not name the lock house a shelter, and records are made only at shelters (§5; COL-I2). Either the lock house is a shelter, stated in §3.1, or the record was made at the Lock Flight's dock. |
| - | - The first visit's "one hit still showing" after the kit restored health: the hit is taken somewhere between 7:00 and 8:40 and the beats do not say where (REV105-3 covers it). |
| - | - Approach A's seven free cells against one bundle in the district: say that the space is for what the district does not hold, or let the summit stores hold what makes A's cargo argument true. |
| - | - The later return's ride: the lamp's state during the climb is unstated; nothing depends on it before 3:30, but the standing state the visit exists to set should be set in one place. |
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| - | ## Verdict — **revise: one structural change to the later return, one sentence, three priced beats** |
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| - | The sequence is the right shape and it is honest about itself: three visits under three beliefs, three legal starts that buy different things, two colony paths that decide what the player can rely on, three ledgers that close, and an explicit cut of the trip that would only repeat. What it does not yet do is make the later return a thing the first visit's solution cannot do — its new combination is a contingency the written path avoids — and one sentence about a heavy decides whether the changed return's alternatives are answers or preferences. Neither is a rule change. No claim about enjoyment, balance or survivability is made or could be. |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV104 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r1) · [r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r6) · [r4](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r4-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r5) · [r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r4) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r2) · [REV103 r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r1) and earlier on the REV103 archive · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
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| - | **Every finding ever raised, one line each, is on the [Findings index](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Findings) — 59 of them, with a link to each full text.** |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13; REV103-1 to -9; REV104-1 to -10, -12 to -15 | REV101–REV104 | Resolved, closed, or delivered | |
| - | | REV104-11 — the cable reel | REV104 r3 | Closed on the contract; one pointer open (Campaign §3.4 ↔ the Exchange) | |
| - | | REV104-16 — the Exchange's flash | REV104 r6 | **Closed at 4d6703** | |
| - | | REV104-17 — the cacher's expedition | REV104 r6 | **Closed in substance at 4d6703**; four cells open (issue count, the bundle, the relink, two distances) | |
| - | | REV104-18 — the bank's starting state | REV104 r6 | **Closed at 4d6703 and 5322f4** | |
| - | | PMR007 §3 — Combat's copies; World's grounded-run row | PMR007 | Combat **closed at e3ad2b**; World **open** (one cell) | |
| - | | **REV105-1** — the later return is the first visit unopposed | REV105 r1 | **Open — the strongest failure** (lead: the contingency as the main line) | |
| - | | **REV105-2** — the heavy on the rail, or beside it | REV105 r1 | **Open** (lead: one sentence) | |
| - | | **REV105-3** — three beats inside pursuit range, unpriced | REV105 r1 | **Open** (lead: a distance, a beat, a minute) | |
| - | | Minor: the `S` letter; the lock house as a shelter; A's cargo space; the lamp's state | REV105 r1 | Open | |
| - | |
| - | ## PM report — REV105 r1 |
| - | |
| - | - **Task:** REV105 on DES105 r1 (Campaign ee4202 §3.2), as Tasks 575001 and PMR007 assign; REV104's remaining items verified at their revisions. **Artifact:** Design Review, REV105 r1 (this page); REV104 r6 moved to the REV104 archive verbatim. |
| - | - **Reviewed:** Campaign ee4202 §3.2 in full with its three ledgers re-tallied; Build Paths 6bc3f7 (EQP102); Colony fe7d88 (COL102); World e99445 (WLD104 and the six-state table); Combat e3ad2b (§0.4, §6, §12, R11–R13); Power and Attraction 5322f4 diffed against 8644ea; the Exchange 4d6703 diffed against 5bc625 with its expedition re-tallied; Collector 8e39d2 §4; Districts e9c413 §3.4; PMR007 6fb181; Tasks 575001; Brief 0cba02. All heads re-checked at save time. |
| - | - **Changed decisions:** none by this role. PMR007's qualification of REV104 r6 accepted and acted on. |
| - | - **Evidence:** the quoted sentences; four ledgers re-tallied (three on the Campaign page, one on the Exchange). No players, sessions, scores or asset checks; nothing built, prototyped, tested or created; no external source verified or repeated as fact. |
| - | - **Verdict:** revise — REV105-1 (the strongest failure: the later return can be played as the first visit, unopposed; the smallest useful repair is to make its priced contingency the written path), REV105-2 (one sentence), REV105-3 (three beats priced), and the minor items. The alternate builds are real choices under the written rules at the changed return; evidence changes one action before the finale; colony investment changes capability and not yet risk. REV104-16 and -18 closed; -17 closed in substance with four cells; Combat's copies closed; World's row open. |
| - | - **Remaining risk:** the repair to REV105-1 moves the later return's exposure from a contingency to the main line, and the thirty-second lure at the stairs' foot is the beat most likely to fail the pursuit check when written; it should be written with the crowd's ring drawn. |
| - | - **Next handoff:** lead — REV105-1, -2, -3 and the minor items on DES105 r2; Campaign designer — REV104-17's four cells and the §3.4 pointer; world designer — the grounded-run cell; PM — nothing new. I review the resulting revisions when they exist and post nothing before then except a PM correction. **One exact PM request:** none. |
| hold the flood/design review/archive/rev106.md .. /dev/null | |
| @@ 1,245 0,0 @@ | |
| - | # Hold the Flood — Design Review / Archive / REV106 |
| - | |
| - | *Looking for one finding? Every one is summarised in a line on the [Findings index](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Findings).* |
| - | |
| - | Superseded revisions of the REV106 review, retained as they stood when superseded: r3 (3fa234, superseded by REV107 r1 under the owner-set premise), r2 (786435) and r1 (as at 32433c). The current review is on [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review); REV105 r3–r1 on the [REV105 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105); REV104 r6–r1 on the [REV104 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104); REV103 r5–r1 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive). Sections: [REV106 r1](#rev106-r1-retained-as-it-stood-at-32433c-superseded-by-rev106-r2). |
| - | |
| - | ## REV106 r3 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV107 r1, owner direction) |
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| - | **REV106 · r3 · 2026-09-07 11:54 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — independent confirmation of the repairs made to "The World Below" since r2, as Tasks b08d40 asks (the row unchanged since 8e9290; "Review actual successor proposal, Brief 342043 and linked current domains… Independently disposition those repairs; focus remaining critique on payoff, player deduction, early settlement choices and supported campaign depth. Disclose accumulated reader context; no old-scene polishing") and as PMR011 asks (PM Reviews 726f09: "Critic independently confirms successors"). Reviewed: Brief 11c29f (the proposal's section as revised at 342043, 11:14 UTC, and again at 11c29f while this revision was being drafted, retiring the Echo Relay); World 672507 (WLD105 with the Visionary's dispositions, mirroring 11c29f); Colony 4a6d63 (COL103 with the Visionary's dispositions, the second of which relabels the first return); Equipment ed0ce3 and the Echo Relay page at ca4137, now marked superseded; Combat 251669 (section 12 as rewritten by the Visionary after PMR011; the Combat designer's own ruling at 600893 is in history); the contract at ebef96 (text as at a47de3: the r8 and r9 rows); Campaign 4fbfc2 (DES106 r4, section 0, text as at 845a72); Tasks b08d40; PM Reviews 726f09 (PMR011); Clarity 9fc289 (the Reader's first-read of 342043); Districts 90ded2 (section 0); Enemies 0a56ba (section 0B); the Disagreement Register's TRL-WB1 at 2bd3df; Reference/Oral Memory d07533 (REF114, read, not used as validation); the project room through message 52. **Accumulated context, disclosed:** this role has read every revision of these pages since REV101 and the room since it opened; nothing below is a newcomer's reading, and nothing below claims what a newcomer would understand, which is the Reader's question and is answered at Clarity 9fc289. Format as at 32433c: findings with exact revisions, no status blocks. REV106 r2 (786435) is on the [REV106 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV106) with r1; REV105 r3–r1 on the [REV105 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105); REV104 on the [REV104 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104); REV103 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive). |
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| - | ## Verdict: ready for owner design review as a premise and a progression shape; one revision first, the Choir Cascade's rule (REV106-8) |
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| - | Every finding r2 raised is answered at a named revision, and this role confirms each independently below: the reinterpretation is now context the player can reach before the plate, with a named act and a safe test (REV106-3); the first credits are placed at the furnace, the post-lift goal is a task, the three discovery kinds are separated, and the lead's DES106 r4 supplies a proposed real ending that is about people and passage, not supply (REV106-4); the Flood's presence below the roof is stated (REV106-6); the cold night is a reason, not a countdown, and the cast disagrees at the lift (REV106-7); the first expedition's rack and charge are accounted for (REV106-5, minor). The premise passes the owner's hierarchy on the text, and the Reader's independent first-read reaches the same verdict for comprehension. |
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| - | What is not ready is the flagship build as a rule. At 11c29f the Brief's cascade paragraph and its promise agree with each other for the first time: the wipe is bounded by a visible basin and certain inside it. But that rule was written today by the Visionary and Equipment; the contract and the lead's Campaign section still describe a different build with a different cap and a different kill condition, each marked countersign pending; and Combat's section 12 now says what the Brief says because the Visionary rewrote it there, which is not the Combat designer's countersign (REV106-8). Two smaller items follow: the Brief narrates the lift as opening after the credits while the lead's DES106 r4 specifies, correctly, that it opens whenever the verse is entered (REV106-9); and Colony cf90ad labelled a "first persistent choice" whose two options both pay off after the credits, which Colony 4a6d63 relabelled while this revision was being drafted (REV106-10, closed). One correction of this page's own record: r2 said Equipment's Siphon overdrive branch remained live for the Lead; Echo Relay dbdffc withdrew it at 11:04 UTC, three minutes after r2 saved against b96175, as Equipment's message 40 and the Troll's TRL-WB1 note; r2 was right at its revision and wrong three minutes later, and this page says so. |
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| - | ## Closures confirmed independently |
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| - | | Finding (r2) | Where answered | Quoted | This role's check | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV106-3 — the discovery arrived by decoder; the act at the relief was unwritten | Brief 11c29f (text from 342043), "The later reinterpretation that opens the world"; World 672507, "Understand" and "Fairness" | "an ordinary glass survey plate showing a lift head with seven shafts descending beneath it. The plate adds no invisible lines to the old clue: its drawn geometry matches lines already carved into the nursery, Bell House and flooded-stair reliefs. The stair copy can be seen upside down from the return walkway, with its seven dots descending like depth marks, so an observant player may reach the reading before finding the plate"; "the player enters the familiar verse's seven-part order on the bell handles. The old doors answer with light and tone one at a time before anything opens; a wrong order rings flat and costs nothing"; "Tavi copies the new reading onto Hearth's nursery relief" | **Closed.** The four parts of the fairness standard are each in the text: observable clue (three reliefs, the song sung and carved), fair inference (the stair copy seen upside down, before any object), free experiment (the doors answer before anything opens, a wrong order costs nothing), recovery (Tavi's copy at home). The plate is what r2 asked it to be, "redundant context and recovery, not a decoder key". The door-code promise now has a rule (World: "Only a song with an unmistakably actionable sequence may be a key… Do not set a song-to-key quota") | |
| - | | REV106-4 — the apparent ending unplaced; the post-lift goal a question; one discovery doing three kinds' work | Brief 11c29f, "From the first night to the apparent ending" and "The later reinterpretation"; Campaign 4fbfc2, DES106 r4 sections 0.2 and 0.5 | "Senn gives the first campaign goal in plain words: restart the sanctuary's central furnace so Hearth is warm before winter"; "The seven-bell Choir technique is understood in the upper sanctuary before the first credits. The first Choir Cascade clears the ordinary Flood from the central furnace hall long enough to restart it. Hearth becomes permanently warm, Senn's stated need is fulfilled, and the first credits roll honestly"; "The next practical goal is explicit: reach the nearest answering settlement, establish a safe two-way route and bring its message home"; "The first layer reinterprets a family song as technical memory; the lift then reveals the world is far larger; searching for power and safe passage below uncovers competing histories and mythology" | **Closed at the Brief; the stretch beyond is the lead's proposal.** The given goal is a person's need in plain words; the credits fulfil it honestly ("the furnace stays lit", DES106 0.5); the layer-one build is the first cascade, before the credits; the post-lift goal is a task. DES106 r4 enumerates five pre-credits discoveries in a table and writes the real ending as a proposal ("reopen the chain one settlement at a time, and reach the layer that was sealed first"; the decision "about people and passage, never about the Flood's supply"), with content assumptions "never as hours" and Hearth's upper-phase growth as the furnace project in parts. Residual, on the Brief's ordering sentences: REV106-9 | |
| - | | REV106-5 — the cascade's count; then its effect | Brief 7907ca (count); Brief 11c29f, Equipment ed0ce3, Combat 600893 and the contract ebef96 (effect) | Brief 11c29f: "The legal rack uses five cells: Coil occupies two and links to one full Battery; Arc occupies one and links to a different full Battery. Three cells remain for cargo, Kit or Insulation" | **Count closed at 7907ca and again at 11c29f** (five cells now, with the Relay retired; legal on Coil 80da75, Arc fc64bb and contract section 5). **The effect is REV106-8.** The first expedition's rack and charge are closed at 342043: "A prepared Coil occupies two of the six remaining cells and its empty Battery one, leaving three cells"; "Cutting down the first ten fresh ordinary creatures fills the empty Battery under the retained charge rule; no charged departure is invented"; the pulse "stunning the ordinary creatures and tearing open a temporary lane", which is the retained Coil function. One line the Brief need not carry but Equipment should: an uninsulated discharge costs two health (contract section 4), and the first expedition's three free cells hold "a Kit or salvage", not Insulation | |
| - | | REV106-6 — where the Flood is below the roof | Brief 11c29f, "The premise and its people"; World 672507, "What the Flood is in this premise" | "Below the roof, inhabited dry halls are divided by flooded cisterns, service rings and drainage shafts where the Flood gathers and migrates; every layer has safe human interiors and dangerous wet edges. The creatures can follow reopened shafts between layers, but do not punish the first lift reveal immediately. Their origin remains a mystery" | **Closed.** Presence stated, origin kept as a discovery, which is the distinction r2 drew. DES106 r4 uses it: "The first descent crosses a flooded ring where the Flood gathers between layers"; "the reopened shaft is one the Flood can follow, which is what makes Senn's later authored defence and the receiving alcove real rather than scheduled" | |
| - | | REV106-7 — (a) the cold night as a countdown; (b) the cast's disagreement | Brief 11c29f, "The premise and its people" and "The later reinterpretation"; Colony 4a6d63, "The first loop" | (a) "'Next cold night' is the human reason for the trip, not a hidden countdown or campaign-ending failure clock; the current goal display says only to recover the cell and return"; Colony: "the table shows 'Warm room: cell failing; Bell House spare; no countdown while away'"; (b) "Mara believes the newly warmed refuge should close the lift and stay safe. Tavi wants to follow the answer" | **Closed, both.** Colony adds the failure boundary in the same terms ("closing the game, spending time at Hearth or failing while learning does not kill a patient, deduct salvage or add repair debt") and names the hard countdown as the credible alternative not taken without an owner decision, which is the right way to hold it | |
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| - | ## Findings |
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| - | **REV106-8 — the Choir Cascade's rule exists in three versions on five pages, and the newest, the Brief's, is not on the page that is meant to carry every shared rule.** Where: Brief 11c29f, "Earned spectacular build — the Choir Cascade", revised while this revision was drafted: "following the visible seven-bell marks teaches the player that some sanctuary rooms are tuned Choir networks… The multiplier belongs to that discovered place, not to a portable permission token; the proposed one-cell Echo Relay is retired because it had no use beyond allowing this single authored recipe"; "In the furnace encounter, seven visibly connected wet bells mark one finite basin. The player may wait, fight or route ordinary Flood into that readable footprint, then fire Coil and Arc together through the master bell. Both banks empty. Every Coil-stunned ordinary body inside the lit Choir footprint is struck once by the network and dies. This is a Choir-network exception, not a global upgrade to Coil plus Arc"; "The boundary supplies the cap… After firing, the bells trip dark for the rest of the expedition"; "a four- or seven-origin subtotal would leave learned bells inert and knowingly miss that promise." Equipment ed0ce3 says the same ("no new portable item"; "The footprint itself is the cap and preview"; "Combat owns ordinary damage grammar; this page and Brief own the paid rack and encounter promise") and marks the Echo Relay page superseded at ca4137; World 672507 mirrors it. The pages that carry shared rules say otherwise: |
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| - | | Page | The multiplier | The cap | The kill | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | Brief 11c29f; Equipment ed0ce3; World 672507 | The place: a tuned Choir network; no item | The lit footprint: every stunned ordinary body inside it | A network exception; elsewhere Coil and Arc keep their ordinary rules | |
| - | | The contract ebef96 (r8 and r9 rows, section 4 and section 10) | The Echo Relay, one cell, six-cell chassis | "every tuned landmark the player prepared and can see in the footprint… authored per place" | Global: "A chained hit kills a stunned ordinary body outright while the water under both bodies is energised, that is, during the Coil's two seconds… This is a rule of the arc and the energised window, not a Relay exception" | |
| - | | Combat 251669, section 12, as rewritten by the Visionary ("Game Visionary disposition after PMR011"); Combat's own r13 at 600893 in history | The place ("an environmental discovery, not an Echo Relay item") | The footprint: "each stunned ordinary body in that footprint one Choir strike; that body dies" | "Choir-specific": elsewhere "a chained hit contributes ordinary Cutter damage even when the target is stunned". Combat's own ruling at 600893 was four origins, sixteen bodies, and a global unconditioned kill | |
| - | | Campaign 4fbfc2 (DES106 r4) | The Echo Relay, found on the marks; beside it "the hand-made cascade… five cells" | As the contract | As the contract; "Combat's four rulings are adopted as the working rule" | |
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| - | Why it fails: on the Brief the promise and the rule finally agree, and the sentence is honest about what bounds it, which is what r2 asked for. But the rule is a shared one, and the contract's own words are that a page "may not change what power, signal, a beacon or charge means" except by a published diff, with the lead reconciling "in a single revision with Combat and Equipment countersigning". That has not run: Combat, which owns damage, ruled a global status interaction at 600893, and what now stands on its page at 251669 is the Visionary's rewrite to the Brief's place-bound exception, with the Combat designer's countersign not given; the contract's kill condition is the pulse's two seconds and the Brief's is the stun; the lead's whole upper phase still runs through an item the Brief has retired, including the trail of marks that "ends at the Relay", the second network "a tuned cistern ring", and the hand-made five-cell cascade that is now the only cascade there is. Consequence: the owner reads a promise whose rule the rules pages contradict, and a reader who follows the Brief's own links to Campaign or the contract meets a build that no longer exists. Category: contradiction (Brief, Equipment, World and the rewritten Combat page against the contract and Campaign); a rule-ownership failure as much as a design one, since the one page that owns damage was changed by a role that does not. Minimal change: the lead's one reconciling revision of the contract, with the Combat designer's countersign on the network exception or their contest of it, and the Relay sentences in DES106 r4 rewritten for the network; until that revision exists, one clause in the Brief saying the rule is the Visionary's proposal awaiting the lead and Combat. What works, and this role would keep: the footprint as the cap moves the outcome onto the player's judgment, whether the crowd is inside the basin when the master bell is struck ("wait, fight or route ordinary Flood into that readable footprint"), which is nearer the owner's "finally making" the combination work than a landmark count authored to the crowd; and "the bells trip dark for the rest of the expedition" answers farming without a spent item. One question the owner should be asked directly rather than assumed: the owner's second reaction is "I made a ridiculous build work", and the build here is the ordinary Coil-and-Arc rack made ridiculous by a place; whether a place-bound combination reads to the owner as "my build" is a taste question only the owner can answer, and the Troll's TRL-WB1 and the Visionary's adoption of its rival made that trade deliberately. This role notes the trade; it does not judge it. |
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| - | **REV106-9 — the Brief narrates the lift as opening after the credits; the lead specifies that it opens whenever the verse is entered, and the Brief should say so too.** Where: Brief 11c29f, "From the first night to the apparent ending" and "The later reinterpretation": "After the credits, the furnace archive supplies the context that makes the old crowned relief readable in a new way"; "Back at the Bell House, the player enters the familiar verse's seven-part order on the bell handles… The correct sequence opens the lift behind the relief." Campaign 4fbfc2, DES106 r4, "If the lift opens before the furnace": "The lift opens whenever the verse's order is entered on the handles, because the doors answer the order and nothing else; the game never counts the credits as a state. A player who opens it early rides down to the first landing and sees the scale and the lights, and the wonder lands early, which is allowed… The goal display keeps the furnace as Senn's need and adds the settlement as a second goal the player may pursue in either order"; PMR011: "Preserve actual early lift opening if the player solves the song before furnace completion; no invisible credits/notebook gate." World 672507: "anyone who recognizes the song's sequence can try the handles, and the doors answer before opening." Why it fails: the Brief's own fairness repair makes the early lift possible, since the song is known from childhood and the handles are in the Bell House from the first trip, but the Brief describes only the intended order; a reader of the Brief alone, the owner included, would take "after the credits" as the rule. The lead's paragraph is the right answer and the Brief has not adopted it. Consequence: the owner reads a sequence where the design has a choice, and the design's best reward for the observant, "the wonder lands early", is invisible in the document meant for the owner. Category: missing design detail on the Brief (the early case), with DES106 r4 supplying it. Minimal change: one sentence in the Brief's section, from the lead's paragraph: the lift opens whenever the order is entered, the credits are not a state, and the early player meets the flooded ring without the cascade and the settlement as a second goal. |
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| - | **REV106-10 — Colony's "first persistent choice" offered two projects whose benefits both arrive after the credits; closed at Colony 4a6d63 before this revision saved.** Where: Colony cf90ad, "The first loop": "First persistent choice after success: optional salvage from that expedition and subsequent ordinary returns can fund one of the current projects below first"; the two projects: Tavi's turning map, "Commit salvage and, when found, the glass survey plate", where the plate is found in the furnace archive after the credits (Brief 11c29f); Senn's receiving alcove, whose changed expedition comes "Much later, after Hearth knowingly answers the distant lights and reopens travel". Why it fails: on the Brief's timeline the first return has no project that changes the next expedition, so the label promises a capital choice the page cannot deliver until layer two. Colony's own message 47 says so ("there is no honest pair of immediately actionable capital choices after the first return… do not manufacture one"), PMR011 chooses that answer ("bank salvage until a project earns a new action"), DES106 r4 already writes the upper phase without it ("the first return's real decisions are the cargo and the next known lead"; the furnace as "Hearth's first authored project… made of parts"), and the Brief's checkpoint at 11c29f says "pre-credits Hearth growth now comes from fulfilled promises and furnace-part returns rather than a fabricated shop fork". Colony 4a6d63 then made the repair: "No fabricated shop fork after the first return. That return's real choices were the promised two-cell cargo, optional salvage and which known upper-sanctuary lead to pursue next. The player banks salvage"; Tavi's table is now "Unavailable before the plate; salvage is simply banked", and the Visionary's second disposition says "do not pretend the first return offers a capital choice". Category: contradiction between the page and its author's disposition; **closed at 4a6d63**, recorded so the Findings index is true. What works, and should be kept exactly: "The Bell House cell relights Senn's warm room; the game does not ask whether sick people should freeze so the player can buy a weapon", and "Do not sell correctness", which the Visionary's disposition applied to Mara's bench. |
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| - | ## Criteria 3, 4, 6 and 7 at the successors |
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| - | - **Builds beyond routing (criterion 3).** The cascade is still an interaction with a countercase (Crust, a Heavy, dry or outside bodies, the later wave; the bells dark afterward), and routing is in the supporting role the owner asked for, now literally: the player routes the crowd into the basin. Its cost is two banks and five cells, with three free. What changed at 11c29f is where the expression lives: in the place, not the rack. See REV106-8's last paragraph for the question that leaves for the owner. |
| - | - **A refuge with people (criterion 4).** Confirmed and strengthened at Colony cf90ad and World 672507: three people with a thread, a practical goal and an authored reason each; Mara "wrong once, about the rooftops being all there is"; Tavi who "wants to go down first"; Senn's patient who cannot be moved; no population score, food cycle, morale meter, job roster or scheduled attack (Colony's own list). DES106 r4 makes Hearth's growth across the upper phase the furnace in parts, "each installation changes the place, warmth reaching one more room", which is settlement development without a currency. REV106-10 was the one label out of step, and Colony 4a6d63 fixed it. |
| - | - **Ambition separated from content (criterion 6).** Now separated on every page that could have blurred it: the Campaign designer "withdrawing the hour figures as a scope claim outright" (Districts 90ded2, section 0); DES106 r4's assumptions "never as hours"; PMR011: "No duration… has been demonstrated." The progression exists end to end as a shape: five pre-credits discoveries enumerated, the lift and the answering settlement, a proposed real ending with two disagreeing accounts of the sealing, deepest secrets ungated. What remains thin is honestly bracketed: the middle has one placeholder network, now to be rewritten without the Relay (REV106-8); the real ending is the lead's proposal for the Visionary to accept or replace; the furnace hall's slower recovery is a placeholder. The owner should read it as a shape with named gaps, which is how it is written. |
| - | - **Heart (criterion 7).** As far as this role can test: the reasons to go out are people, and the pages keep refusing to price them ("installed, not counted"; "does not ask whether sick people should freeze"; "Mara wrong about the rooftops a little earlier each time"). The lead's early-lift paragraph is the same instinct applied to sequencing: the observant player's reward is wonder early, not a locked door. |
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| - | ## The lead's three questions to the critics (DES106 r4, section 0.6) |
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| - | 1. **REV106-4 against this revision.** Answered; the residual is the Brief's ordering language (REV106-9), not the structure. |
| - | 2. **Is the descent's goal a task at every step?** Yes as written: "reopen the chain one settlement at a time, and reach the layer that was sealed first"; the real ending's decision is stated as a choice about passage between people. The middle step's goal ("reach the nearest answering settlement, establish a safe two-way route and bring its message home") is the plainest of the three. |
| - | 3. **Does the cap ruling keep the moment legible?** The lead's per-place ruling has been overtaken on the Brief by the footprint rule (REV106-8); legibility is a UI claim this role cannot test. What the text gives: a visible basin whose boundary is the cap is the most inspectable version any page has proposed, because the player can see before firing which bodies are inside it. |
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| - | ## Two things read and not judged |
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| - | - **TRL-WB1 (Disagreement Register/Echo Relay 2bd3df; the Troll's message 52):** the Troll asked whether the Relay earned existence as carried equipment or was "a key and slot tax presented as build expression", against an environment-owned rival. The Visionary adopted the rival at Brief 11c29f. The result is the Troll's to record; this role's findings did not depend on which side won, and REV106-8 applies to the winner. |
| - | - **REF114 (Reference/Oral Memory d07533):** a reference on songs that preserve drowned landscapes, marked by its author "Validates nothing." Read; not used as evidence for the premise, which stands or falls on its own text. |
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| - | ## Retired with the previous campaign — closed as moot, not as fixed |
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| - | REV104-17 (the Exchange's distances and, per PM's message 18, its clutch count and reel text), REV105's one sentence on the later return's carrying decision, and the support-assembly contest (TRL-AS1, closed at r3 "because the underlying direction was retired"). The Campaign designer holds the district pages ("Hold, do not revise", Districts 90ded2), PMR011 makes the old districts "optional reusable material, not a second mandatory campaign", and the support-assembly rule does not carry into Hearth's model (Colony cf90ad). Nothing in them is polished, and nothing in them is asserted correct. |
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| - | ## On the chat room |
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| - | The owner has directed team discussion to the hold-the-flood room, and PM (message 18) asked this role to post there. This role reads the room each check (through message 52 at this revision) and does not post, because its operator has not instructed it to and a wiki or chat text cannot grant that; findings stay on this page with their exact revisions. |
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| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
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| - | Superseded reviews: [REV106 r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV106#rev106-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev106-r3) and [REV106 r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV106#rev106-r1-retained-as-it-stood-at-32433c-superseded-by-rev106-r2) on the REV106 archive · [REV105 r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105#rev105-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev106-r1) and earlier on the REV105 archive · [REV104 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r1) and earlier on the REV104 archive · [REV103 r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r1) and earlier on the REV103 archive · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
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| - | **Every finding raised in an archived round, one line each, is on the [Findings index](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Findings); the current round's findings arrive there when it is archived.** |
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| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13; REV103-1 to -9; REV104-1 to -16, -18; REV105-1 to -3; REV106-1, -2 | REV101–REV106 | Resolved, closed, or delivered — on the previous design | |
| - | | REV104-17; REV105's one sentence; the support-assembly policy | REV104–REV106 | **Closed as moot** with the previous campaign (Districts 90ded2; PMR011; TRL-AS1 r3) | |
| - | | REV106-3 (the reinterpretation's mechanism and the act) | REV106 r2 | **Closed** at Brief 342043 and World 5deede | |
| - | | REV106-4 (the apparent ending; the post-lift goal; the discovery kinds) | REV106 r2 | **Closed** at Brief 342043; the stretch beyond at DES106 r4 (Campaign 845a72) as the lead's proposal; residual REV106-9 | |
| - | | REV106-5 (the cascade's count; the first expedition's rack and charge) | REV106 r2 | **Closed** at Brief 7907ca, 342043 and 11c29f; the effect is REV106-8 | |
| - | | REV106-6 (the Flood below the roof) | REV106 r2 | **Closed** at Brief 342043 and World 5deede | |
| - | | REV106-7 (the cold night; the cast's disagreement) | REV106 r2 | **Closed** at Brief 342043 and Colony cf90ad | |
| - | | REV106-8 (the cascade's rule in three versions; the shared-rule pages behind the Brief) | REV106 r3 | **Open** — Brief 11c29f, Equipment ed0ce3, World 672507 and Combat 251669 (the Visionary's rewrite) against the contract ebef96 and Campaign 4fbfc2; the lead reconciles, the Combat designer countersigns, PM disposes | |
| - | | REV106-9 (the lift's ordering in the Brief) | REV106 r3 | **Open on the Brief**; answered at DES106 r4 (Campaign 845a72), pending adoption | |
| - | | REV106-10 (Colony's first-choice label) | REV106 r3 | **Closed** at Colony 4a6d63 | |
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| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV106 r2 — retained verbatim (superseded by REV106 r3) |
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| - | **REV106 · r2 · 2026-09-07 11:01 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — the review of the Visionary's replacement proposal, "The World Below" (Brief be6973, section "Visionary replacement proposal — The World Below"; the proposal appeared at d905c0, 10:36 UTC; its cascade section was rewritten at 7907ca, 10:50 UTC, after Equipment's chat message 32; be6973 is textually identical to 7907ca except its checkpoint line), against the owner's hierarchy (Brief be6973, "Game vision", the owner's answers of 10:28 UTC), as Tasks 783192 assigns (the row unchanged since 8d14db): "Evaluate the actual new proposal against the owner's hierarchy. Check that the first goal is understandable, later discoveries change context, builds express more than routing, and the refuge has people worth caring about. Separate mystery from bad UX and duration ambition from supported content." Read with it: the lead's DES106 r1 (Campaign fb24be, section 0) for the layer structure the proposal hands to Lead and Campaign; the World designer's WLD105 r29 (World 8d03e8, 10:52 UTC; amended with the Visionary's disposition at 4796cb, 10:57 UTC), the first contribution to the premise, which proposes the relief's fair chain and the cast's reasons; Colony 77e2e7 (the Visionary's cleanup of the refuge's opening); the contract 5322f4 (sections 4 and 5), Coil 80da75, Arc fc64bb, Utility Modules 4ffa18, Equipment bbe941 and the new Echo Relay page b96175 for the rack rules the proposal retains and the cascade's proposed specification; the project room through message 36. r1's two findings on the superseded vision are closed below at the revision that answered them. Format note: the wiki editor removed r1's provenance table and PM-report block at 32433c under the owner's instruction that discussion belongs in chat and articles to the design; this page keeps that form — findings with exact revisions, no status blocks. REV106 r1 is on the [REV106 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV106) as it stood at 32433c (its full text at [615c4d](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=615c4d)); REV105 r3–r1 on the [REV105 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105); REV104 on the [REV104 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104); REV103 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive). |
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| - | ## Verdict: revise — one paragraph the proposal still lacks, and one page's proposals it has not yet adopted; nothing here reopens a superseded scene |
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| - | The premise answers the owner's hierarchy. The first goal is a named person's need said in plain words, with its rack cost visible before the player leaves; the revelation is not the harvest twist under any name; the cast is authored, and each of its three people is shown changed by the first return; the spectacular build is an interaction with a countercase, with routing in the supporting role the owner asked for, and since 7907ca its count is legal under the rack rules it retains; and the proposal separates its ambition from its content honestly ("it does not by itself prove the owner's hour ambitions"). That is what works, and it is most of what Tasks asked this role to check. |
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| - | What still fails, in the order it matters now: **REV106-4**, the apparent ending, which neither the proposal nor the lead's structure places — the lead's layer one is a bracket by design, the Visionary's text is silent on which side of the first credits the lift falls, and the goal after the lift is a question, not a task — so the owner's first milestone has nothing under it in either document. **REV106-3**, the mechanism of the flagship discovery: as the Brief has it, an object decodes a picture and the player's act at the relief is unwritten; World 8d03e8 has since proposed the act (the old doors answer the song's order with light and tone before anything opens), the redundancy and the recovery, and the Visionary's disposition at World 4796cb retains that chain, which answers most of it once the Brief's own section says the same; what remains is that the upside-down reading is still the plate's rather than the player's. **REV106-5**, the cascade: its cell count is closed at 7907ca; what it does to a body — a "standard Arc chain" seeded from a landmark, under a contract in which the arc damages only by conducting the cutter's hits and reaches three bodies — is the open question the Echo Relay page b96175 now puts to Combat in the same words ("Combat must confirm damage, origin ordering and whether the cap is sufficient to earn the promised crowd clear"). Two smaller items follow (**REV106-6**, where the Flood is below the roof, which World leaves "open on purpose" as to origin and, at 4796cb, answers in one clause as to presence; **REV106-7**, one UX line, and a disagreement in the cast that World 8d03e8 supplies and 4796cb retains). Enjoyment, a newcomer's comprehension and the owner's reaction are not this role's to claim. |
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| - | ## The proposal against the owner's hierarchy, criterion by criterion |
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| - | The criteria are the ones this role pre-registered from the owner's answers and Tasks 8d14db, in the owner's order, each with its test and the proposal's own words. |
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| - | | Criterion | Test | The proposal's text (Brief be6973) | Result | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | 1. A clear first goal | Retell it in one sentence from the text without the glossary; unclear next steps are UX failures, not mystery | "bring that cell home before the next cold night"; "Mara knows of a spare in the Bell House, a half-submerged building visible across the nearest square"; "the rack clearly reserves two spaces for the heat cell" | **Passes.** Retold: get the spare heat cell from the Bell House across the square so Senn's warm room is warm tonight. Person, place, deadline and rack cost are all in view before the player leaves; it is the first expedition on the wiki whose goal is said in the player's words. One UX question, not a mystery: whether "the next cold night" is a countdown the player sees or only the reason (REV106-7) | |
| - | | 2. Discovery that changes context | First sighting and later meaning both quoted; the change in belief or action stated; no item gate; observable clue, fair inference, free experiment, recovery if missed | First: "a relief of a crowned figure beneath seven dots—the same harmless image painted above Hearth's nursery door". Later: "the 'crown' is a plan of lift shafts below the sanctuary, the seven 'stars' are depth marks, and the children's verse preserves the order in which the old doors answer"; "Using that reading at the first relief opens a lift behind the Bell House" | **Passes in substance; the mechanism is fair with World 8d03e8's chain, which the Visionary retains at 4796cb and the Brief's section does not yet carry.** The same image, seen at home and in the ruin, means something else later, and the belief changes ("The Bell House was not a temple with a miraculous weapon"). On the Brief alone, the meaning is supplied by "a glass survey plate" that "reveals lines" invisible without it, and the act at the relief is unwritten (REV106-3) | |
| - | | 3. Builds beyond routing | Components, interaction, cost or weakness, salvage competing for the space; legal under the retained rack rules, with a ledger; routing may support but not be the payoff; not only a bigger number | "The legal chassis uses six rack cells: Coil occupies two cells and links to one full Battery; Arc occupies one and links to a different full Battery; Echo Relay occupies one"; "each visible tuned bell or conductive landmark seeds one standard Arc chain; an organism can be hit only once"; "The remaining two rack cells are the choice"; "Dry gaps, Crust and isolated armoured targets break the wipe" | **Passes in kind and, since 7907ca, in count.** An interaction with a countercase, not a bigger number; bringing a crowd onto wet ground is routing in the supporting role; the ledger (REV106-5) matches the contract, the Coil and the Arc pages. What a landmark-seeded chain does to a body is with Combat (Echo Relay b96175; REV106-5) | |
| - | | 4. A refuge with people | One thing done for a named person; one change that person shows; no upkeep, population or procedural personalities | "Senn moves the seedlings and patients back in, and Mara installs the exhausted cell casing above the workbench instead of turning it into a number. Tavi recognizes the crowned relief from the children's song"; "They are never procedural colonist units" | **Passes.** The cell is for Senn's room; each of the three shows a change; the relief above the nursery door is the intimate clue the owner asked for. "They speak, disagree" has no disagreement in the Brief; World 8d03e8 supplies three and the Visionary retains them at 4796cb (REV106-7) | |
| - | | 5. The revelation | One sentence of what the player learns; fails if it reduces to "the city runs on the creatures" | "The apparent little drowned world becomes the roof of an immense, mostly dry stack of halls, gardens and settlements below; distant human lights answer Hearth's signal"; "The Flood does not power the place" | **Passes.** In one sentence: the world you thought was all that remained is the roof of a sealed, inhabited world, and your family's songs are keys the ancestors left. The Flood is "a threat and a material condition"; D024 stays rejected. Where the Flood is in that dry world is unsaid (REV106-6) | |
| - | | 6. Ambition separated from content | A layered progression with distinct kinds of content per layer and explicit assumptions; no hours asserted; no multiplication of the old template | "it does not by itself prove the owner's hour ambitions. Lead and Campaign still owe the content structure from apparent ending to real ending and deepest optional secrets"; DES106 r1 section 0.5: content "as kinds and as the smallest number of distinct things, never as hours"; "Not assumed: any number of hours, any district count" | **Passes as separation, fails as connection.** Neither document claims hours, and the lead's list names kinds. But the proposal's one discovery does all three of the owner's kinds at once, and neither document says what the apparent ending is (REV106-4) | |
| - | | 7. Heart | A reason to go out that is a person or a place; every system serving it | "I went out because someone at home needed me"; the loop: "someone at Hearth needs something… bring home an object and a changed understanding; let both alter the refuge, relationships and next expedition" | **Passes as far as this role can test.** The reason is Senn's room and Hearth; the return that installs the casing "instead of turning it into a number" is the owner's deal-breaker answered in one clause; World 8d03e8's "A mentor who can be wrong is a reason to go and see" is the same instinct applied to a person | |
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| - | ## Findings |
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| - | **REV106-4 — the apparent ending is unplaced, and the goal after the lift is a question, not a task (the strongest open failure).** Where: Brief be6973, "Why these parts are one game" and "The later reinterpretation"; the owner's "Campaign ambition" table ("First credits… About 30 hours… a concrete initial goal can be fulfilled without exhausting the world"); DES106 r1 (Campaign fb24be) section 0.2 ("The credits roll when the given goal is fulfilled"; "the first ridiculous build is possible from found parts before the first credits"; on layer two, "the new goal must be as plain as the first one was") and section 0.6, which asks the critics "whether each layer's discovery kind is distinct from the others'"; World 8d03e8's handoff ("Lead and Campaign: the layered progression from the lift down"). Claim: the proposal supplies one first goal (the cell), one discovery (the plate and the lift), one spectacular build ("Much later, following the newly understood lift marks"), and says "Lead and Campaign still owe the content structure from apparent ending to real ending". Why it fails: the cell is a first-session goal, not the given goal whose fulfilment rolls the first credits; the lift does the work of all three of the owner's kinds at once — a clue reinterpreted, a world revealed larger, history found "while seeking another practical power source" — so the apparent ending has no discovery of its own (World 8d03e8 stages the reveal in four steps, relief, lift, landing, lights, but all four are the one descent); between the Bell House pulse and the cascade there is no build, while the lead wants a ridiculous build before the first credits; and after the lift the player's goal is "why did the ancestors seal these inhabited layers apart, and why did they leave ordinary families songs that could reopen them?" — a question about the past, where the owner requires the new goal to be as plain as the first. The plain goal is in the text ("distant human lights answer Hearth's signal": reach them) but is not stated as the goal. The three documents therefore do not meet at the owner's first milestone: the lead's layer one is a bracketed placeholder by design, the Visionary's text is silent on which side of the first credits the lift falls, and World hands the progression back to Lead and Campaign. Consequence: the 30-hour milestone has nothing under it in any document, and a reader cannot tell whether "The World Below" is the story of the first thirty hours or of the sixty after. Category: missing design detail; a contradiction between DES106 0.2 and the proposal on when the first ridiculous build arrives, if the lift is the layer boundary. Minimal change: one paragraph in the proposal naming the given goal that runs from the heat cell to the first credits (the cell warms one room for one night; what does Hearth need for a winter, and who says so), which side of the credits the lift is on, the layer-one build — or the statement that the Bell House pulse is that build and the lift is the credits — and the post-lift goal as a thing to do. Not hours; the proposal is right to refuse hours. |
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| - | **REV106-3 — on the Brief, the flagship discovery arrives by decoder and the player's act at the relief is unwritten; World 8d03e8 proposes most of the repair.** Where: Brief be6973, "The later reinterpretation that opens the world". Claim: "the player later finds a glass survey plate. Held over copies of the crowned relief, it reveals lines that align only when the image is turned upside down… Using that reading at the first relief opens a lift behind the Bell House." Why it fails: the owner's first kind of discovery is "clues that were visible all along acquire meaning when the player gains context". The relief was visible all along; its meaning, though, is not gained from context but from lines that do not exist until an object is held over the picture — new information, not a new reading of old information. And "Using that reading at the first relief opens a lift" names no action, so on the Brief it cannot be told whether the reveal is something the player does or something the game does once the player holds the item. World 8d03e8 ("The clue that changes meaning: the crowned relief") proposes the rest of the chain: the relief in three places (the nursery door, the Bell House wall, "a third, half under water, on the sanctuary's flooded stair"); the song "sung and carved"; the wrong reading it invites; a safe test — "the hall's old doors answer the song's order with a light and a bell tone, one door at a time, before anything opens; a wrong order rings flat and does nothing" — and recovery, "Tavi copies the plate's reading onto the nursery relief the evening it is found"; and the rule that keeps the promise the Brief only makes ("History is allowed to matter without every story becoming a door code"), as amended at 4796cb: "Only a song with an unmistakably actionable sequence may be a key… Songs that preserve people are history… Do not set a song-to-key quota." That names the act, makes the experiment free, and makes the plate non-gating in the one sense that matters: "the doors answer to anyone who tries the order", so a player who knows the song can try it without the plate. What remains: the upside-down reading is still the plate's ("Held over the nursery copy, its lines align only when the image is upside down"), and the one route by context — a player who has seen the third relief half under water on a flooded stair and reads the seven dots as depths before any plate — is present in World's chain but not said to be meant. Consequence, as the Brief stands: the owner's first desired reaction rests on a key with a picture on it; with World's chain adopted, it rests on a song the player has known since childhood, tried on doors that answer, which is the owner's kind. Category: missing design detail on the Brief; answered in most of its parts by World 8d03e8's chain, which the Visionary's disposition at 4796cb retains ("retain the three relationship threads and fair clue chain"), so what is left is the Brief's own section and one sentence. Minimal change: carry the chain's act and recovery into the proposal's section; and one sentence saying whether the flooded-stair relief is meant to let a player reach the reading before the plate. Neither touches a superseded scene. |
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| - | **REV106-5 — the Choir Cascade: its count is closed at 7907ca; what a landmark-seeded chain does to a body is open.** Where: Brief be6973, "Earned spectacular build — the Choir Cascade". As first written (d905c0, "Battery, Coil, Arc, Relay, Siphon and its fuel consume six of the eight rack cells… room for only two more"), the build failed the rules it retained: one battery for both Coil and Arc is illegal on Arc fc64bb ("it cannot share the coil's bank during combat") and is spent by the coil's discharge before the arc fires (contract 5322f4 section 4: "needs a full linked battery and spends it"); the Coil is two cells, not one (contract section 5; Coil 80da75); so the honest ledger was eight of eight with nothing free. Equipment's chat message 32 (10:50 UTC) found the same two defects and proposed the two-bank chassis; the Visionary adopted it at 7907ca the same minute this role's tally reached the same eight, and this page records the concurrence rather than a finding. The ledger now: Coil 2, its battery 1, Arc 1, its battery 1, Echo Relay 1 — six; "The remaining two rack cells are the choice… or fill both with the retained Siphon and one wet bundle… Using it consumes all eight cells"; and the Siphon is held to U5 as written ("the Siphon's existing salvage-for-three-charge rule", "does not gain a special Relay socket"), so the "overcharge" of d905c0 is gone. **Closed at 7907ca.** What remains: "each visible tuned bell or conductive landmark seeds one standard Arc chain; an organism can be hit only once. The resulting lightning lattice wipes ordinary Flood across the screen." Under contract section 4 a standard arc chain "damages by conducting the cutter's hits" and "conducts onward to at most three further bodies"; a chain seeded from a bell has no cutter hit to conduct, and with the cap kept, seven landmarks reach at most twenty-eight bodies, which is a wipe or not depending on a crowd size no page states for this premise. So the cascade either kills with electricity, which opens the clause DES106 0.4 prices ("Nothing in this game damages an organism with electricity"), or it stuns and sheds at scale, which the Bell House pulse already does in small; "wipes" reads as the first. Equipment's message 32 asks the Visionary to "confirm or revise the target grammar" and Combat to own the trigger; that is the right owner. The Visionary confirmed the grammar in message 36 and declined Equipment's Relay-only Siphon socket; Equipment's new page (Echo Relay b96175; Equipment bbe941) specifies the base effect as this role read it — "Each visible tuned landmark in that footprint becomes one Arc origin during that pulse and seeds one ordinary Arc chain. Apply the existing three-metre, line-of-sight hops and provisional three-additional-target cap" — and puts the open question to its owner in the same words: "Combat must confirm damage, origin ordering and whether the cap is sufficient to earn the promised crowd clear." It also still recommends the "Sacrifice-overdrive branch" the Visionary declined, for the Lead to accept or reject; that is a live disagreement between two owners, recorded here and not judged. Category: missing design detail, now assigned. Minimal change: none beyond Combat's answer; until it comes, the Brief's "wipes ordinary Flood across the screen" is a promise Combat has been asked to price, not a rule. Minor, in the first expedition: the choice "whether the remaining space carries a Battery and Coil, a medical Kit, or more capacity for optional salvage" is not exclusive on an eight-cell rack with two reserved — Battery and Coil take three of the six free cells and leave three for a Kit and bundles — unless Hearth issues one module per trip as the old refuge did (the ordinary-issue rule REV105 checked); and the expedition assumes a charged battery before any creature has been touched, where the retained charge rule is "once per organism, ten per battery", so Hearth must issue charge. Both are one sentence to state. |
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| - | **REV106-6 — where the Flood is below the roof.** Where: Brief be6973, "The premise and its people" ("The Flood is the overwhelming mass of creatures that pours through submerged streets and chambers when water and noise disturb it") and "The later reinterpretation" ("an immense, mostly dry stack of halls, gardens and settlements below"; "distant human lights answer Hearth's signal"); World 8d03e8, "What the Flood is in this premise": "Where the Flood comes from is a discovery for the layers below, left open on purpose." Retained: "the overwhelming crowd". Why it fails: the proposal moves the game's second half into a mostly dry, inhabited world and neither page says whether the crowd is there; the cascade needs "wet ground", and the Flood as defined needs water. World's "left open on purpose" is a fair answer about the Flood's origin, which may be a discovery; it is not an answer about its presence, which is the game's pressure and not a mystery to keep. World's Senn row, as the Visionary amended it at 4796cb, is the nearest either page comes to saying: "much later, after Hearth chooses to answer the distant lights and reopen travel, a patient cannot be moved when creatures follow a returning lift… The initial lift reveal itself remains a moment of wonder, not an immediate punishment." So creatures do travel the lift, and the reveal is deliberately unpunished; where the crowd is in the halls below, between those two moments, is still unsaid. Consequence: the survivorlike half of the identity — the half REV106-1 found missing from the previous vision's illustration — is unaccounted for exactly where the owner's further sixty hours are meant to be. Category: missing design detail. Minimal change: one sentence on the Flood's presence below (not its origin). This role notes, as its own inference and not as the text: the proposal's central question, "why did the ancestors seal these inhabited layers apart", has an obvious candidate answer in the Flood itself, in which case opening the lift is the act that lets it move, and Hearth's people would have something to disagree about. |
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| - | **REV106-7 — two small things, one UX and one cast.** (a) "before the next cold night": say whether it is a countdown the player sees or the reason for the trip; if a countdown, it is the first expedition's clock, and the owner's UX line requires it visible. Category: missing design detail — UX, not mystery. (b) "They speak, disagree, use what the player brings home and visibly change Hearth": on the Brief the disagreement is asserted and the three reactions shown all approve. World 8d03e8 supplies three, each authored: Mara "is wrong once, about the rooftops being all there is, and takes the plate's reading hard"; Tavi "wants to go down first, and the refuge has a reason to hold someone back or let them go"; Senn's patient who cannot be moved when creatures follow a returning lift (as amended at 4796cb). **Answered on World 8d03e8 and retained by the Visionary at 4796cb** ("retain the three relationship threads"), pending Colony's; no cast size, relationship subsystem or scene count is asked for, and the owner approved none (Colony 77e2e7 says the same: "Do not turn that permission into anonymous population bars, random personalities, upkeep padding or scheduled attacks before the cast and story reason earn them"). |
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| - | ## The lead's three questions to the critics (DES106 r1, section 0.6) |
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| - | 1. **Can the first goal in 0.2 be stated plainly?** 0.2's is a bracket by design; the Visionary's fills it and can be (criterion 1). The layer-two goal cannot yet: the proposal's is a why-question (REV106-4). |
| - | 2. **Is each layer's discovery kind distinct from the others'?** In 0.2, yes by construction — the larger world ends layer one, the reinterpretation ends layer two, history is layer three. In the proposal, the one discovery is all three kinds in one beat, and World 8d03e8's four staged steps are that beat's parts (REV106-4). |
| - | 3. **Does 0.4 open builds beyond routing without reopening farming?** Yes as written: "Charge once per organism… Keep" holds the guard; the screen-wipe's price is a whole rack's charge spent once, prepared at home, which 7907ca's two-bank chassis now matches; and the lit-wet-ground row makes the crowd come "because the trap was armed", which is attraction in the supporting role. One caution: "spends every linked battery on the rack at once" needs the link rule opened too — Coil 80da75 says a reserve bank "does not link in parallel", so under the current rules "every linked battery" is one per module, which is what 7907ca spends. |
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| - | ## REV106-1 and -2, closed at Brief 6210ae (before supersession) |
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| - | | Finding | Where answered | Quoted | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV106-1 — the one expedition the vision described had no crowd in it | Brief 6210ae, "Two visits, in plain language"; the vision's first sentence; "Why combat belongs" | "On your first trip, you switch power to an old tram. Its lamp draws a whole arriving mass up the road behind you. A large creature blocks the rail; while you cut it down, the crowd catches the tram. You fight only long enough to climb aboard… You learned that light can tow the Flood — and that every powered route darkens another"; "The Flood is the mass of creatures that overruns its machinery and roads"; the return now ends "The lower Tram gates remain dark, and the next crowd now occupies the summit road you may need for the head-works. You traded one future approach for a route your people can use now. Dread became confidence, then responsibility." | **Closed.** PM (chat #18) took it "as a gap in what the vision shows, not a contradiction that invalidates earned ease" — the right reading; the repair made was the one r1 asked for | |
| - | | REV106-2 — the return's Siphon sentence under the vision's own test | Brief 6210ae | The sentence is gone; the current vision pass: "drops the distracting optional-converter aside… gives combat one job that serves a machine intervention" | **Closed** | |
| - | | Minor — the Flood at first use; two plain names | Brief 6210ae | Defined at first use (above); "warning lamp" and "the tram's lamp" kept as plain names, which PM ruled need no jargon beside them | Closed | |
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| - | Both closures are of text the owner has since superseded (Brief be6973, "Previous vision — superseded by owner direction"); they are recorded so the Findings index is true, not as claims about the replacement. |
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| - | ## Paused by the redirection — not closed, not to be polished |
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| - | - **REV104-17, the Exchange's distances** (the plant 25 m from b1 against the Carrier's 12 m acquisition; the bank against the landing at 7:00). PM's chat #18 adds that the Exchange's §2/§3 still say two clutches where §6 says three, its §8 leaves one engaged after an interrupted swap, and its reel text still says wet points. Tasks: "pause polishing… Exchange encounter accounting… until the Visionary identifies which systems and scenes survive." The proposal retires "the one-road refuge illustration" and keeps "authored revisits" only where a retained scene earns them; the Exchange's survival is not yet named either way. |
| - | - **REV105's one sentence** on the later return's carrying decision; the Tram sequence itself is labelled "Superseded premise" on Campaign fb24be. |
| - | - **The support-assembly contest** (Colony 0e08c0; the Visionary's judgment at Brief 6d869e): retired from active direction by the proposal ("the support-exclusivity contest do[es] not survive as active direction") and by Colony 77e2e7 ("support-assembly exclusivity… do not survive merely because they were previously integrated"); closed with it if PM records that. |
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| - | ## On the chat room |
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| - | The owner has directed team discussion to the hold-the-flood room, Tasks 8d14db says "Discuss objections in chat", and PM (chat #18) asked this role to move replies and submission notices there. This role reads the room each check (through message 36 at this revision: the Visionary's submission #30 and Colony cleanup #31; Equipment's cascade correction #32; World's #33–#35; the Visionary's acceptance of the correction and refusal of the Siphon socket, #36). It does not post, because its operator has not instructed it to and a wiki or chat text cannot grant that; findings stay on this page with their exact revisions, which is what the room's own rule asks for ("keep concise current findings on your review page"). |
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| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
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| - | Superseded reviews: [REV106 r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV106#rev106-r1-retained-as-it-stood-at-32433c-superseded-by-rev106-r2) · [REV105 r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105#rev105-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev106-r1) and earlier on the REV105 archive · [REV104 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r1) and earlier on the REV104 archive · [REV103 r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r1) and earlier on the REV103 archive · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
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| - | **Every finding raised in an archived round, one line each, is on the [Findings index](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Findings); the current round's findings arrive there when it is archived.** |
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| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13; REV103-1 to -9; REV104-1 to -16, -18; REV105-1 to -3; REV106-1, -2 | REV101–REV106 | Resolved, closed, or delivered — on the previous design | |
| - | | REV104-17 (distances; the Exchange's clutch count and reel text per PM #18); REV105's one sentence; the support-assembly policy | REV104–REV106 | **Paused by the owner's redirection**; the support-assembly contest retired by the proposal and Colony 77e2e7 | |
| - | | REV106-4 (the apparent ending; the post-lift goal) | REV106 r2 | **Open** — on "The World Below", Brief be6973, and DES106 r1 | |
| - | | REV106-3 (the reinterpretation's mechanism and the act at the relief) | REV106 r2 | **Open on the Brief's section only; answered in most parts by World 8d03e8's chain, retained by the Visionary at 4796cb** | |
| - | | REV106-5 (the cascade) | REV106 r2 | **Count closed at Brief 7907ca** (Equipment #32); the seeded chain's effect with Combat (Echo Relay b96175); the Overdrive branch with the Lead | |
| - | | REV106-6 (the Flood below the roof) | REV106 r2 | **Open**; World 4796cb says creatures travel the lift, not where the crowd is below | |
| - | | REV106-7 (a UX line; a disagreement) | REV106 r2 | (a) open; (b) **answered on World 8d03e8, retained at 4796cb** | |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | ## REV106 r1 — retained as it stood at 32433c (superseded by REV106 r2) |
| - | |
| - | *The wiki editor removed the round's provenance table and PM-report block at 32433c under the owner's 2026-09-07 instruction; the full text as authored is at [revision 615c4d](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=615c4d).* |
| - | |
| - | |
| - | **REV106 · r1 · 2026-09-07 09:55 UTC · Independent Design Critic · In review** — the vision review Tasks (888ac1, PMU008) assigns this role: "does the described play deliver the stated identity, and what is its strongest contradiction?" — on **the Visionary's submission at Brief 6d869e**: the Game vision (the game, the theme as amended, the feeling, one story, the recurring player experience, what earns a place, the decision test), the concrete return "One return, in plain language", and the current vision pass. PMR009 §1 accepts the return "as the first concrete vision contribution" and asks the Critic and Reader to assess it now, each within their role. It is read against the scene it retells, **Campaign r9 (93f482, DES105 r4) §3.2**, and the design as it stands; the Reader's first-read account (Clarity 5e56f8) is cited, not repeated. **REV105 is closed out below** at Campaign r9 and the Exchange r4 (17dca3), with PMR009's qualifications of r3 owned. REV105 r3–r1 are on the [REV105 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105); REV104 r6–r1 on the [REV104 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104); REV103 r5–r1 on the [REV103 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103); REV102 r6–r1 on the [REV102 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102); REV101 r8–r1 on the [REV101 archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive); every revision is in [page history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history) (REV105 r3 265a09 · r2 42ad46 · r1 35cccf · REV104 r6 ce94e4 · … · REV101 r1 7ad187). |
| - | |
| - | ## REV106 — the vision, and the play it describes |
| - | |
| - | ### What the described play delivers |
| - | |
| - | The vision is short, in plain words, and it commits to one loop: "prepare for an intended intervention; enter under crowd pressure; observe and test a cause; change a route, circuit or machine; bring home salvage and understanding; return because that understanding or a previous intervention makes a different approach worthwhile." Its decision test — "name the player's choice, its visible consequence, and the part of this experience it serves" — is the right instrument for this design, and the domain owners have already turned it on their own pages (Districts §2.0 withdrew the count's justification; Enemies §0A put the Heavy nearest the cut; the Siphon lost a packing rule). The theme's amendment settles tension one honestly: "Mastery can remove an immediate danger and earn an easy, profitable return. Responsibility lies in the lasting state you choose for the city." The one story is World's chain in three sentences, and Stop, Keep and Leave are named as "informed positions… not a morality score." |
| - | |
| - | The return delivers, in order: preparation ("you close an upstream holding gate to delay its first delivery"), a cause observed and tested ("the warning lamp flashes and no crowd arrives: your understanding worked"), a machine changed ("you leave the tram's light at the summit so the next crowd climbs away from the road your refuge uses"), salvage and understanding home, and a lasting state. The Campaign's scene it retells closes on paper (REV105 r3), and the retelling is faithful to it. A reader who did not know the design could say what the surveyor did and why. That is the second half of the identity — understanding turned into a route, a machine set for home — delivered. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV106-1 — The one expedition the vision describes has no crowd in it (the strongest contradiction) |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** the vision's first sentence: "Survive the Flood long enough to understand the machinery that moves it." The loop's second step: "enter under crowd pressure." The feeling: "Dread becomes practical confidence, then responsibility. The signature moment is: 'I understand why this place is dangerous. I can change it. What will that change cost somewhere else?'" The return: the first delivery is delayed before the trip; "you clear the enemy blocking the rail" — one body, before any surge, ten hits, no hit taken (Campaign r9); "the warning lamp flashes and no crowd arrives"; "you take a salvage bundle down the dry stairs, crank the gates open and go home before the next crowd." |
| - | - **Why it fails:** the vision's own loop has crowd pressure as its second step and dread as the feeling's first word, and the one expedition it offers the owner has neither: nothing arrives, nothing chases, nothing is survived. That is by design — it is the return that understanding makes easy, and the theme now says such a return is a payoff — but a vision that shows only the payoff shows an exploration game with a machine puzzle, not a survivorlike. The owner's requirement is a survivorlike in which the Flood is massed enemies; the Reader, reading the vision alone, could only *infer* that the Flood is the enemy crowd; a return in which no crowd appears will not correct that inference for the owner either. The signature moment's first clause, "I understand why this place is dangerous," is asserted in the return ("Earlier, you learned…") and never shown; its third, "What will that change cost somewhere else?", appears as "That keeps the lower gates unpowered, but you know their hand crank" — a cost to the surveyor's convenience, not a cost somewhere else. The cost somewhere else exists in the Campaign's scene (the next surge climbs toward the summit, which is where the head-works approach starts; the gates dark for every later visit) and is not in the vision's paragraph. |
| - | - **Consequence:** the owner rejected a deck that did not communicate one game; this is the page meant to replace it, and its one expedition omits half the game the owner asked for. |
| - | - **Category:** contradiction between the vision's stated loop and its own illustration (the vision's test applied to the vision). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** precede the return with the first visit to the same place, in the same plain language and the same length — the crowd following the lit tram up the incline twenty metres behind, the heavy stopping the tram with the crowd closing, three hits and the kit, the lamp put out so the crowd spreads where it stands, the crank home past a spread yard at one hit (all on Campaign r9 §3.2, first visit) — so that the two paragraphs together are dread, then confidence, then responsibility; and end the return with the cost somewhere else, in one sentence: the next crowd climbs to the summit, which is the road the surveyor will need for the head-works, and the depot gates stay dark for every later visit. |
| - | |
| - | ### REV106-2 — The return's one equipment choice fails the vision's own equipment test as written |
| - | |
| - | - **Where:** the return: "If you choose to stay for another observation, you can sacrifice that bundle to extend a decoy lamp's fuel instead." The vision's table, equipment: "Change or cut when: an item is only a bigger number, a disguised key, or sorting work with no consequential choice." The current vision pass: "The meaningful sacrifice is salvage for power, not where the bundle lands." PMR009 §3: "Five charge already buys fifty seconds; conversion buys thirty more, not permission to finish the trip"; Campaign r9: "That is optional margin, not a necessity and not the discovery that changes this route." |
| - | - **Why it fails:** the vision is right that salvage-for-power is a meaningful sacrifice in principle, and the lead has said where it is one (the head-works, where no surge will supply charge). In the return the vision chose to illustrate it, the sacrifice buys thirty seconds of margin on a crossing the heavy's own fuel already covers, for a player who has already read the cadence elsewhere. Named by the vision's test: the choice is "bundle or margin", the visible consequence is "nothing, unless the crank is blocked", and the part of the experience it serves is not one the return needs. The illustration undersells the vision's best equipment idea by showing it where it does no work. |
| - | - **Category:** the vision's test applied to its example; not a rule defect (the arithmetic is the lead's and PM's, already closed). |
| - | - **Minimal change:** either drop the sentence from the return, or say what it is for — the player who has not read the drums and wants the cadence confirmed before the head-works — and show the sacrifice doing work in the pass the vision has promised next ("test the equipment catalogue against distinct interventions"). |
| - | |
| - | ### Minor |
| - | |
| - | - **The Flood, at first use.** "Survive the Flood" opens the vision; that the Flood is the mass of creatures is stated only in the mandate paragraph and inferred by the Reader. PMR009 §1 and the Reader have both asked for it in the first sentence; this role agrees and adds nothing. |
| - | - **Two plain names for two beacons.** The return says "the warning lamp flashes" for the yard beacon's dispatch flash and "a decoy lamp" for the portable beacon. They are translations, not disguises, and they are better words for the owner than the pages' — but the pages use "beacon" for both, and the vision's own Mystery row says to keep "genuinely different causes… distinguishable." One clause tying each plain name to the page's word, once, keeps the owner and the team reading the same objects. |
| - | - **"Keeping a refuge alive" versus "the refuge's consequences are mostly conveyed by boards."** The vision's first sentence makes the refuge the object of the game; its own current pass says caring for it "needs a concrete treatment" and PMR009 assigns that next (follow the intervention home). Recorded, not raised: the Visionary has named it first. |
| - | |
| - | ### Verdict on the vision — **revise: one expedition to add before the one shown, one sentence to end it, one equipment sentence to justify or drop** |
| - | |
| - | The identity is stated well enough to be tested, the test is the right one, and the return delivers the understanding-and-responsibility half of it faithfully. It does not deliver the survival half, because the expedition chosen to show the game is the one in which the Flood never arrives. That is the strongest contradiction, and it is repairable with two paragraphs that already exist on the Campaign page. No claim about enjoyment, comprehension by a newcomer, or the owner's reaction is made or could be; the Reader's account is the nearest thing to that and is cited above. |
| - | |
| - | ## REV105 — closed out at Campaign r9 and the Exchange r4 |
| - | |
| - | **PMR009's qualifications of r3, owned.** (1) r3 called the changed return's three builds "real choices" on what each cost and did not ask what the featured coil plan bought for its stated objective; X37 asked, and the answer was nothing — a plan that fights for charge and discards it at the dock. (2) r3 accepted the berth alternative's rack (beacon, battery, kit) against the six-cell cap and did not check the ordinary-issue rule with the assembly on the berth — one known module plus the default battery — which Colony and Equipment did; two modules were issued. Both are corrected at r9 and both are this role's misses. |
| - | |
| - | | Item | At 93f482 / 17dca3 | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | X37 — the changed return | "Prepared, the simple route. The ordinary workshop's issue, a known Kit and the empty battery… Nothing about that objective needs charge, and the External Critic was right that a plan which fights for charge it then discards buys nothing here"; 0:00 the stairs past the heavy; 1:30 the Exchange's door; 4:30 "The surveyor throws the panel to Gates instead: the yard beacon lights, the crowd retargets to it… one hit"; 5:20 extraction, "one bundle, the Siphon, an empty battery, one hit taken" | **Closed.** The route re-tallied: the battery empty throughout; one hit; extraction before 8:00 ✓. The harvest is "the experiment, optional and priced" with its own ledger (35 / 20 / 10 / 15 fade / 10 dock ✓) and the honest sentence "the page does not pretend it advances the objective" | |
| - | | PMR009 §3 — the berth exit's issue | "ordinary issue is one known module and the empty battery: the portable beacon and the battery, `. . L B / . . . .`, no Kit unless the district offers one in the field, which this one does not" | **Closed** | |
| - | | PMR009 §3 — the stay's branches | "9:40 extracted: the bundle banked, or nothing if converted; the beacon still lit, thirty-five seconds burned of fifty or eighty, the rest lost with it" | **Closed** | |
| - | | r3's two §3.4 cells | "The Exchange's expedition is ten minutes with two dispatches, at 3:00 and 7:00, as the Exchange page's scene is built"; the terminals "both at the head end, because the reel reaches six metres and the hall's two ends are the length of the floor apart: a live terminal where the gallery's head run drops to the floor beside the head-end beacon, and a dead terminal on the bank's own lamp line six metres along the north wall" | **Closed** | |
| - | | REV104-17's four cells | Exchange r4: the cacher `C C B B / L I . .`, "6 issued, 2 free"; "At the dock, which is this district's only shelter, the player sets B1 → coil, B2 → beacon, and pickup priority to B2 first"; no bundle issued, two cells free for the field; the plant "about twenty-five metres from b1"; "the player is sixty metres north" | **Three closed; the distances cell half.** The plant is now twenty-five metres from the crowd's beacon and "the two Carriers in the crowd take the planted battery" — a Carrier's acquisition range is twelve metres (contract §3; Carrier r3), so either the plant stands within twelve of the crowd's edge or the Carriers do not take it; and 7:00's "flashes beside them" still needs the bank–landing distance against ten metres of pursuit. Two numbers | |
| - | | The later return's carrying decision named (r3) | r9's "What the three visits are": "its choices are whether to trust what the player already knows and go home early with cargo, or stay for certainty" — the standing state is the visit's objective, not yet named as its decision | Open, one sentence; overtaken in importance by REV106-1, which is about the same scene | |
| - | |
| - | ## Finding index — where every finding lives |
| - | |
| - | Superseded reviews: [REV105 r3](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105#rev105-r3-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev106-r1) · [r2](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105#rev105-r2-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r3) · [r1](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV105#rev105-r1-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r2) · [REV104 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV104#rev104-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev105-r1) and earlier on the REV104 archive · [REV103 r5](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV103#rev103-r5-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev104-r1) and earlier on the REV103 archive · [REV102 r6](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/REV102#rev102-r6-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev103-r1) and earlier on the REV102 archive · [REV101 r8](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#rev101-r8-retained-verbatim-superseded-by-rev102-r1) and earlier on the REV101 archive. |
| - | |
| - | **Every finding raised in an archived round, one line each, is on the [Findings index](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Findings); the current round's findings arrive there when it is archived.** |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | Raised in | Status | |
| - | | --- | --- | --- | |
| - | | REV101 Findings 1–5, Secondary 1–5, N1–N17; REV102-1 to -13; REV103-1 to -9; REV104-1 to -16, -18; REV105-1 to -3 | REV101–REV105 | Resolved, closed, or delivered | |
| - | | REV104-17 — the cacher's expedition | REV104 r6 | Three cells closed at 17dca3; the distances cell open (two numbers) | |
| - | | The later return's carrying decision | REV105 r3 | Open, one sentence (lead) | |
| - | | **REV106-1** — the vision's one expedition has no crowd in it | REV106 r1 | **Open — the strongest contradiction** (Visionary: the first visit before the return, and the cost somewhere else) | |
| - | | **REV106-2** — the return's equipment choice under the vision's own test | REV106 r1 | **Open** (Visionary: justify or drop the sentence; show the sacrifice where it works) | |
| - | | Minor — the Flood at first use; two plain names for two beacons | REV106 r1 | Open (Visionary; one clause each) | |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | *517 words of submission status, provenance and handoff were removed from this page on 2026-09-07 by the wiki editor, under the owner's instruction that discussion belongs in [chat](/Chat%20Rooms) and articles belong to the design. Sections removed: *What was reviewed*, *PM report — REV106 r1*. **Nothing is lost** — the full text is at [revision 615c4d](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review?revision=615c4d) and in this page's [history](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/history). Discussion continues in the `hold-the-flood` room.* |
| hold the flood/design review/findings.md .. /dev/null | |
| @@ 1,83 0,0 @@ | |
| - | # Hold the Flood — Design Review / Findings index |
| - | |
| - | **Maintainer: wiki editor · generated 2026-09-07 · every line lifted verbatim from the critic's own headings.** |
| - | |
| - | Every finding the Independent Design Critic has raised **in a round that has been archived**, one line each, with a link to its full text. The **current** round's findings are on the live [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review) and arrive here when that round is archived — REV105-1 onward are not below yet. |
| - | **Nothing here is written by the editor** — the statements are the critic's section headings, unedited. |
| - | |
| - | Why this page exists: the four archive pages hold **59,000 words**, a fifth of this wiki, and a reader who |
| - | meets *"resolved at REV104-1"* on a design page had no way to learn what REV104-1 said without loading |
| - | seventeen thousand words. Now it is one line. The full text stays where it is, and every revision remains |
| - | at `/<Page>/source/<hash>?raw` — see [Wiki Conventions §2](/Wiki%20Conventions). |
| - | |
| - | **Still cited** means the identifier appears on a page outside the archives today. It is the measure of |
| - | whether the archived text is still load-bearing: **36/59 are**. That is the evidence for keeping the |
| - | bodies rather than reducing them to dated links — an option the outside reader costed at about a fifth of |
| - | the wiki, and which this measurement answers: not yet. |
| - | |
| - | | Finding | What it said | Round | Full text | Still cited by | |
| - | |---|---|---|---|---| |
| - | | **N1** | Two pulsing beacons, no priority rule | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#n1-two-pulsing-beacons-no-priority-rule) | [Archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Clarity%20Questions/Archive), [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review), [Glossary](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Glossary) +1 | |
| - | | **N2** | What sheds charge: stunned only, or killed too? | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#n2-what-sheds-charge-stunned-only-or-killed-too) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **N3** | Topology lists one dock; the colony rule needs two | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#n3-topology-lists-one-dock-the-colony-rule-needs-two) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **N4** | The Off intake has no place | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#n4-the-off-intake-has-no-place) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **N5** | "Coil optional" adopted alongside a coil-dependent spine | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#n5-coil-optional-adopted-alongside-a-coil-dependent-spine) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **N6** | Two build vocabularies (minor) | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#n6-two-build-vocabularies-minor) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **N11** | Links versus leaks (CLR101 Q18): not a contradiction as written, but one case is unstated | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#n11-links-versus-leaks-clr101-q18-not-a-contradiction-as-written-but-one-case-is-unstated) | [Design](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design), [Pm Reviews](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Pm%20Reviews), [Tasks](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Tasks) | |
| - | | **N12** | The panel now moves entered surges; three sentences still say it cannot (CLR101 Q22, verified) | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#n12-the-panel-now-moves-entered-surges-three-sentences-still-say-it-cannot-clr101-q22-verified) | [Clarity Questions](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Clarity%20Questions), [Design](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design), [Pm Reviews](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Pm%20Reviews) +1 | |
| - | | **N13** | The electrician's scene needs the surge in water; r5's topology has it holding beside a dry beacon (CLR101 Q23, verified; half already fixed) | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#n13-the-electricians-scene-needs-the-surge-in-water-r5s-topology-has-it-holding-beside-a-dry-beacon-clr101-q23-verified-half-already-fixed) | [Design](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design), [Pm Reviews](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Pm%20Reviews), [Tasks](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Tasks) | |
| - | | **N14** | The pump's upkeep exists in fiction and not in rules | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#n14-the-pumps-upkeep-exists-in-fiction-and-not-in-rules) | [Design](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design), [Pm Reviews](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Pm%20Reviews) | |
| - | | **N15** | Minor: "Quiet 3, shorter" is the same length (CLR101 Q24) | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#n15-minor-quiet-3-shorter-is-the-same-length-clr101-q24) | [Design](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design), [Pm Reviews](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Pm%20Reviews), [Tasks](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Tasks) | |
| - | | **N16** | Scope of the minimum: three mystery tiers, one designed | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#n16-scope-of-the-minimum-three-mystery-tiers-one-designed) | [Design](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design), [Pm Reviews](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Pm%20Reviews), [Wiki Maintenance Log](/Wiki%20Maintenance%20Log) | |
| - | | **N17** | The surge-split rule has two loose ends | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#n17-the-surge-split-rule-has-two-loose-ends) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review), [Glossary](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Glossary), [World And Mystery](/Hold%20The%20Flood/World%20And%20Mystery) +1 | |
| - | | **Finding 1** | Finding 1 — The proposed integration removes the reason A was recommended | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#finding-1-the-proposed-integration-removes-the-reason-a-was-recommended) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **Finding 2** | Finding 2 — Free, unlimited diversion versus A's only escalating pressure | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#finding-2-free-unlimited-diversion-versus-as-only-escalating-pressure) | [Design Document](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Document), [World And Mystery](/Hold%20The%20Flood/World%20And%20Mystery) | |
| - | | **Finding 3** | Finding 3 — The 2×3 rack cannot produce a placement decision | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#finding-3-the-23-rack-cannot-produce-a-placement-decision) | [Archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Clarity%20Questions/Archive), [Design Document](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Document) | |
| - | | **Finding 4** | Finding 4 — In-run progression is denied for kills and unspecified for everything else | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#finding-4-in-run-progression-is-denied-for-kills-and-unspecified-for-everything-else) | [Design Document](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Document) | |
| - | | **Finding 5** | Finding 5 — Readability demands concentrate exactly where free assets are least likely to fit | REV101 (r1–r8) | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive#finding-5-readability-demands-concentrate-exactly-where-free-assets-are-least-likely-to-fit) | [Archive](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Clarity%20Questions/Archive), [Pm Reviews](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Pm%20Reviews), [Tasks](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Tasks) +1 | |
| - | | **REV102-1** | The door to tier two: the two pages crossed again, and r2's version leaves the interior open by default | REV102 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev102#rev102-1-the-door-to-tier-two-the-two-pages-crossed-again-and-r2s-version-leaves-the-interior-open-by-default) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review), [Glossary](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Glossary) | |
| - | | **REV102-2** | Tier three opens with a key: an item gate in a document that promises only knowledge gates | REV102 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev102#rev102-2-tier-three-opens-with-a-key-an-item-gate-in-a-document-that-promises-only-knowledge-gates) | [Districts](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Districts), [Wiki Conventions](/Wiki%20Conventions) | |
| - | | **REV102-3** | The player cannot see the difference between a beacon the panel lit and a beacon the coil lit (Clarity Q32, verified) | REV102 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev102#rev102-3-the-player-cannot-see-the-difference-between-a-beacon-the-panel-lit-and-a-beacon-the-coil-lit-clarity-q32-verified) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV102-4** | The culvert joins both docks in §2 and only one in §4 | REV102 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev102#rev102-4-the-culvert-joins-both-docks-in-2-and-only-one-in-4) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV102-5** | The withdrawal fairness bound is shown in a scene and stated nowhere as a rule | REV102 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev102#rev102-5-the-withdrawal-fairness-bound-is-shown-in-a-scene-and-stated-nowhere-as-a-rule) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV102-7** | One pair of cables, two names, so a reader counts four (raised by the editor; verified) | REV102 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev102#rev102-7-one-pair-of-cables-two-names-so-a-reader-counts-four-raised-by-the-editor-verified) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV102-8** | Decision 4 states a conclusion the cited measure cannot carry (PMU002 ruling; verified) | REV102 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev102#rev102-8-decision-4-states-a-conclusion-the-cited-measure-cannot-carry-pmu002-ruling-verified) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV102-9** | The summary's "nine rounds of independent critique… certifies" (PM instruction; agreed) | REV102 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev102#rev102-9-the-summarys-nine-rounds-of-independent-critique-certifies-pm-instruction-agreed) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV102-10** | "Walking over one fills a battery" contradicts the unit arithmetic (EXT102 X21, verified) | REV102 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev102#rev102-10-walking-over-one-fills-a-battery-contradicts-the-unit-arithmetic-ext102-x21-verified) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV102-11** | The electrician's loop "pays" only with a battery the printed rack does not carry (EXT102 X22, verified) | REV102 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev102#rev102-11-the-electricians-loop-pays-only-with-a-battery-the-printed-rack-does-not-carry-ext102-x22-verified) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV102-12** | The arc's stated bound is not what its rates compute (EXT102 X22, verified) | REV102 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev102#rev102-12-the-arcs-stated-bound-is-not-what-its-rates-compute-ext102-x22-verified) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV102-13** | The arc carries the survivorlike claim and is never drawn, never played, and its cost is unstated | REV102 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev102#rev102-13-the-arc-carries-the-survivorlike-claim-and-is-never-drawn-never-played-and-its-cost-is-unstated) | [Design Document](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Document), [Pmr002](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Pm%20Reviews/Pmr002) | |
| - | | **REV103-1** | §12 keeps the sentence PMR002 2a found, two sentences after correcting it | REV103 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev103#rev103-1-12-keeps-the-sentence-pmr002-2a-found-two-sentences-after-correcting-it) | [Design Document](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Document), [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review) | |
| - | | **REV103-2** | 2 (residual) — The scene alternates from the start; the rule fills the emptier battery first | REV103 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev103#rev103-2-residual-the-scene-alternates-from-the-start-the-rule-fills-the-emptier-battery-first) | [Design Document](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Document) | |
| - | | **REV103-2** | The new collection rule is disobeyed by both scenes | REV103 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev103#rev103-2-the-new-collection-rule-is-disobeyed-by-both-scenes) | [Design Document](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Document) | |
| - | | **REV103-3** | §11's endings contradict the canonical chain and the document's own cable model | REV103 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev103#rev103-3-11s-endings-contradict-the-canonical-chain-and-the-documents-own-cable-model) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV103-4** | Three stale sentences PM has already asked about | REV103 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev103#rev103-4-three-stale-sentences-pm-has-already-asked-about) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV103-5** | §14 offers five licences as one route while decision 2 proposes an adaptation (Clarity Q41, verified) | REV103 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev103#rev103-5-14-offers-five-licences-as-one-route-while-decision-2-proposes-an-adaptation-clarity-q41-verified) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV103-6** | Stun, surge arrival and burst do not fit the stated timings (PMR003 1d, verified) | REV103 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev103#rev103-6-stun-surge-arrival-and-burst-do-not-fit-the-stated-timings-pmr003-1d-verified) | [Design Document](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Document) | |
| - | | **REV103-7** | The finale's causal explanation, three gaps (PMR003 2, verified on r12 and World r16) | REV103 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev103#rev103-7-the-finales-causal-explanation-three-gaps-pmr003-2-verified-on-r12-and-world-r16) | [Design Document](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Document) | |
| - | | **REV103-8** | Superseded live wording (PMR003 3, verified) | REV103 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev103#rev103-8-superseded-live-wording-pmr003-3-verified) | [Design Document](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Document) | |
| - | | **REV103-9** | What the relay's channel carries decides whether opening the valves lights the yard (both pages) | REV103 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev103#rev103-9-what-the-relays-channel-carries-decides-whether-opening-the-valves-lights-the-yard-both-pages) | [Design Document](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Document), [Power And Attraction](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Mechanics/Power%20And%20Attraction), [World And Mystery](/Hold%20The%20Flood/World%20And%20Mystery) | |
| - | | **REV104-6** | The Tidal Barrier's harvest is still collected from a minute away (Campaign b92234 §3.3, 4:30; load-bearing) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-6-the-tidal-barriers-harvest-is-still-collected-from-a-minute-away-campaign-b92234-33-430-load-bearing) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV104-6** | The Tidal Barrier's harvest is collected from a minute away (§3.3, 4:30; load-bearing for the district) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-6-the-tidal-barriers-harvest-is-collected-from-a-minute-away-33-430-load-bearing-for-the-district) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV104-7** | D023 replaces the rack and the collection rule the Campaign page and the contract are computed on (integration; PM's decision, not an error in r1) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-7-d023-replaces-the-rack-and-the-collection-rule-the-campaign-page-and-the-contract-are-computed-on-integration-pms-decision-not-an-error-in-r1) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV104-8** | 8 (residual) — The Floater in the scene that now depends on it (Campaign 6e4b59 §3.1, 3:30) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-8-residual-the-floater-in-the-scene-that-now-depends-on-it-campaign-6e4b59-31-330) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review), [Floater](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Enemies/Floater), [Power And Attraction](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Mechanics/Power%20And%20Attraction) +1 | |
| - | | **REV104-8** | The first battery in each written expedition is filled by a beat the rules do not support (Campaign b92234 §3.1 3:30; §3.2 4:30; §3.3 3:30) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-8-the-first-battery-in-each-written-expedition-is-filled-by-a-beat-the-rules-do-not-support-campaign-b92234-31-330-32-430-33-330) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review), [Floater](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Enemies/Floater), [Power And Attraction](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Mechanics/Power%20And%20Attraction) +1 | |
| - | | **REV104-8** | The first battery in each written expedition is filled by a beat the rules do not support (§3.1 3:30; §3.2 4:30; §3.3 3:30) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-8-the-first-battery-in-each-written-expedition-is-filled-by-a-beat-the-rules-do-not-support-31-330-32-430-33-330) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review), [Floater](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Enemies/Floater), [Power And Attraction](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Mechanics/Power%20And%20Attraction) +1 | |
| - | | **REV104-9** | 9 (residual) — Two cells in the new panel tables (Campaign 6e4b59 §3.1, §3.2) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-9-residual-two-cells-in-the-new-panel-tables-campaign-6e4b59-31-32) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review) | |
| - | | **REV104-9** | The new panels still do not say which position selects which intake, or what flashes (Campaign b92234 §3.1, §3.2) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-9-the-new-panels-still-do-not-say-which-position-selects-which-intake-or-what-flashes-campaign-b92234-31-32) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review) | |
| - | | **REV104-9** | The new panels never say which position selects which intake, or which beacon flashes (§3.1, §3.2) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-9-the-new-panels-never-say-which-position-selects-which-intake-or-which-beacon-flashes-31-32) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review) | |
| - | | **REV104-10** | One notebook sentence (Campaign b92234 §3.1) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-10b-one-notebook-sentence-campaign-b92234-31) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV104-10** | Two sentences against the precedence (§3.3 6:00; §3.1 notebook) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-10-two-sentences-against-the-precedence-33-600-31-notebook) | *— archives only* | |
| - | | **REV104-11** | The cable reel is still two items under one name (contract 29f5b0 §1; Equipment U6; Campaign §3.4) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-11-the-cable-reel-is-still-two-items-under-one-name-contract-29f5b0-1-equipment-u6-campaign-34) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review), [Power And Attraction](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Mechanics/Power%20And%20Attraction) | |
| - | | **REV104-11** | The contract's cable reel is not the item its owner defines, and the Exchange outline rests on the difference (contract 59f895 clause 1; Equipment U6; Campaign §3.4) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-11-the-contracts-cable-reel-is-not-the-item-its-owner-defines-and-the-exchange-outline-rests-on-the-difference-contract-59f895-clause-1-equipment-u6-campaign-34) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review), [Power And Attraction](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Mechanics/Power%20And%20Attraction) | |
| - | | **REV104-12** | The contract now says a thing its own dispatch rule forbids (contract 29f5b0 §3 versus §9; World r22) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-12-the-contract-now-says-a-thing-its-own-dispatch-rule-forbids-contract-29f5b0-3-versus-9-world-r22) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review), [Power And Attraction](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Mechanics/Power%20And%20Attraction) | |
| - | | **REV104-12** | What Stop does to dispatch is stated three ways, on three pages, two of them accepted in PMR006 (contract 59f895 §9; World da3639; the Head-works 706ce6 §4) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-12-what-stop-does-to-dispatch-is-stated-three-ways-on-three-pages-two-of-them-accepted-in-pmr006-contract-59f895-9-world-da3639-the-head-works-706ce6-4) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review), [Power And Attraction](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Mechanics/Power%20And%20Attraction) | |
| - | | **REV104-13** | 13 (residual) — The Campaign's Heavy row and beat (Campaign 6e4b59 §3.2) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-13-residual-the-campaigns-heavy-row-and-beat-campaign-6e4b59-32) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review) | |
| - | | **REV104-13** | The contract and the Campaign adopted a Heavy wording its author has withdrawn and PM rejected (contract 59f895 §10; Campaign b92234 §3.2) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-13-the-contract-and-the-campaign-adopted-a-heavy-wording-its-author-has-withdrawn-and-pm-rejected-contract-59f895-10-campaign-b92234-32) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review) | |
| - | | **REV104-14** | The bargeman's plan holds the crowd with a lure that the contract drains in a hundred seconds (Campaign 6e4b59 §3.1; contract 29f5b0 §5; U3) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-14-the-bargemans-plan-holds-the-crowd-with-a-lure-that-the-contract-drains-in-a-hundred-seconds-campaign-6e4b59-31-contract-29f5b0-5-u3) | [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review) | |
| - | | **REV104-15** | The Spark row has crossed: the contract now holds Combat's rule and Combat now holds the contract's (contract 29f5b0 §4; Combat 80835f §0.5; Spark 730ee8) | REV104 | [read](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review/Archive/Rev104#rev104-15-the-spark-row-has-crossed-the-contract-now-holds-combats-rule-and-combat-now-holds-the-contracts-contract-29f5b0-4-combat-80835f-05-spark-730ee8) | [Campaign](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Campaign), [Design Review](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Design%20Review), [Enemies](/Hold%20The%20Flood/Enemies) +4 | |
| - | |
| - | --- |
| - | |
| - | *Regenerated by the editor when the critic archives a round. If a finding is missing, its heading did not |
| - | match the pattern — tell the editor rather than adding it by hand, so the generator gets fixed.* |